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Fire, McDonalds, and Sex: This Is An Actual Job Application Submitted To A Mcdonalds In Florida And They Hired Him For His Honesty NAME: Jeremy Skitt X: Not yet but I'm waiting for the right person DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle- management hostility SALARY: Less than I'm worth MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is... no. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, l'd like to be doing that now DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising <p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>

Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.

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Bruh, College, and Definitely: <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://elvhenani.tumblr.com/post/141419889981">elvhenani</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theladyofthedarkcastle.tumblr.com/post/141133600164">theladyofthedarkcastle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://trentmaverick.tumblr.com/post/141048894100">trentmaverick</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://rudegyalchina.tumblr.com/post/140845709365">rudegyalchina</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://2opinionatedblackgirls.tumblr.com/post/140837370434">2opinionatedblackgirls</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ashweenis.tumblr.com/post/128244835675">ashweenis</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://shadykingnick.tumblr.com/post/128235705979">shadykingnick</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://erickaashleyy.tumblr.com/post/128232472537">erickaashleyy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://stop-regretting-start-living13.tumblr.com/post/128228676603">stop-regretting-start-living13</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pchcrew.tumblr.com/post/128126490817">pchcrew</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>how to be a winner</p> </blockquote> <p>This is so important</p> </blockquote> <p>bruh 👏🏾😂.</p> </blockquote> <p>Home girl boutta schmooze her way through college</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="http://tmblr.co/mOWD9DmxGF-UTzfVvUVLbGg">ranessence</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="http://tmblr.co/mAAAEgLObOxRq2GDWsyGlgA">tantrummm</a></p> </blockquote> <p>That discussion board one actually works. Got an A in that portion of my Senior Sem doing that. This is gold.</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mPUaTvdFGxlPt6zHbubWV8w">@thesickestsinner</a></p> </blockquote> <p>This is her calling. You can DEFINITELY use the same hacks at your job with a few tweaks here &amp; there!</p> </blockquote> <p>Literally this is how I’ve survived 3.75 years of college. This is gold. This is truth. </p> </blockquote> <p>Passing college like a Slytherin………I love it</p> </blockquote>
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