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Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
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Animals, Children, and Family: <p><a href="http://enrique262.tumblr.com/post/176089416395/yourshadowisfollowingyou" class="tumblr_blog">enrique262</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://yourshadowisfollowingyou.tumblr.com/post/176089227719/influentialcreativity" class="tumblr_blog">yourshadowisfollowingyou</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://influentialcreativity.tumblr.com/post/157511809484/disease-danger-darkness-silence-boyonetta" class="tumblr_blog">influentialcreativity</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://disease-danger-darkness-silence.tumblr.com/post/157485039971/boyonetta-sao801-boyonetta" class="tumblr_blog">disease-danger-darkness-silence</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://boyonetta.tumblr.com/post/157461510399/boyonetta-ask-daddies-fire-sao801-do-you" class="tumblr_blog">boyonetta</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sao801.tumblr.com/post/157461382011/ask-daddies-fire-sao801-do-you-see-that" class="tumblr_blog">sao801</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://boyonetta.tumblr.com/post/157460553829/sao801-do-you-see-that-looks-like-a-joke-image" class="tumblr_blog">boyonetta</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://ask-daddies-fire.tumblr.com/post/157460468607/do-you-see-that-looks-like-a-joke-image-right" class="tumblr_blog">ask-daddies-fire</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sao801.tumblr.com/post/157442904411/do-you-see-that-looks-like-a-joke-image-right" class="tumblr_blog">sao801</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Do you see that? Looks like a joke image, right? Well, it isn’t.</p> <p>This happens in Venezuela. It looks like nobody knows how is our crisis, because I’ve talked with a lot of people (Americans, French, Canadian and even Mexican people) who really don’t know what is happening.</p> <p>I’ll explain the imagen.</p> <p>In Venezuela, we haven’t medicines, even in the hospitals. This is because a patient with hypoglycemia is being attended in this way, because the hospital don’t have dextrose for the people. This is happening in Caracas, Venezuela’s capital. But not only in Caracas, is confirmed that in Maracaibo too, and who know where too.</p> <p>Another cases:</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="121" data-orig-width="342"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/5fb2f2aaabe5c4c4817e7839c6fa3d44/tumblr_inline_olmpf8ei7B1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="121" data-orig-width="342"/></figure><p>“I take prednisone for animals because I can’t found it anywhere and it helps me, isn’t logic, but our health can’t wait”<br/></p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="344" data-orig-width="351"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0fa4a0cc29ee55e117c14d87ad96bb23/tumblr_inline_olmpjjDHmX1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="344" data-orig-width="351"/></figure><p>“Confirmed, I’m medic performing in so many decadency. We even’t have privates places for dextrose for decompensated diabetics and believe me I could write for hours about so many that I’ve lived in the middle of this catastrophic crisis, where personally I’ve take with me a hurted pacient behind of a 350 because we haven’t ambulances, where we haven’t gloves for protect ourselves and a lot of  things like that, this is the reality…. It must be give “ORALLY” because the drink is rich in glucose (Sugar) for these pacients this imagen showes [She means the soda imagen] how is conected to a micromanager where it doesn’t looks very good… But it’s valid by an OROGASTRIC probe. As a heroic way, becase like we know “It’s incorrect”.<br/></p> <p><br/></p> <p>I even can give my own testomony. My mom is sick, and she must work everyday, I can’t help her because my leg is broken, and my brother must help his own family. She’s in pain everyday, and the money is too hard to found. If there’s money, but there’s no medicine. And, if there’s medicine, there’s no money, because all the treatments are very expensive, like everything, for our inflation on the 1600%.</p> <p><br/></p> <p>Please, help us.</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/meJj-80PnRVvI77d8cjGbpA">@takashi0</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mr2qkRfP-E0sxYw3yMPXoWg">@klubbhead</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mI23vJ6wFVu1DrmxPw-ujYg">@satoshi01</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mIiX85InXZ_5gFO1XlH6zKA">@libertybill</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/maB0M_f1gCRojw_sShkpNHQ">@nunyabizni</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mZRc8t_VYK5ZPLf0vJnbeZg">@boyonetta</a> <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/m65-IAueX8Ok9qruUx8bbLg">@steven-universe-official</a> </p> <p>I’m sorry, guys. Can you help me to spread this? :C I need that people know about Venezuela’s situation. I’m sorry for bother you.</p> </blockquote> <p>I’d be very interested in seeing more information on this. This sounds like something out of a post-apocalyptic nightmare novel.</p> </blockquote> <p>Sure thing, my friend!</p> <p>Since 2014, our crisis is worse with the health zone. There’s no too many medicines, and a lot of operations and treatments are delayed for this same reason.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="533" data-orig-width="800"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/915af81143779859e52f112448287591/tumblr_inline_olnd2iBXMo1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="533" data-orig-width="800"/></figure><p>The hospitals don’t have spaces, litters or beds for the patients.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="451" data-orig-width="675"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/551fc8b45a48b4a3a2b89c6aec0db33e/tumblr_inline_olncviM6o91s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="451" data-orig-width="675"/></figure><p>If you go to a farmacy, there’s no medicine.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="354" data-orig-width="620"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b7e6b891d2a096ca10b548fba478ded9/tumblr_inline_olncv1pnq11s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="354" data-orig-width="620"/></figure><p>A lot of hospitals are in a terrible state.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="701" data-orig-width="1050"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/73044e7cf22ba1addaa05fc833d707ee/tumblr_inline_olnd27NybG1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="701" data-orig-width="1050"/></figure><p>Supplies that were lacking in public hospitals included sterile gloves and gauze, antiseptics, alcohol for medical use, scalpels, needles, catheters, intravenous solutions, nebulizers and surgical sutures. It was even common to lack basic cleaning supplies (such as bleach), which are essential to ensure a sterile environment in hospitals. Unhealthy conditions have led to in-hospital infections that could have been prevented.</p> <p>And this is only talking about the health zone.</p> <p>If we talk about the food shortage and the hyper inflation…</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="576" data-orig-width="1024"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/3e6598b0cd50aef181991565614c3ffc/tumblr_inline_olnd3zeiBm1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="576" data-orig-width="1024"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="164" data-orig-width="308"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e65491e9970a7d4984870abd965190f4/tumblr_inline_olnd44LxOM1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="164" data-orig-width="308"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="400" data-orig-width="651"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/aefa613c49ccb9786046251f22c71077/tumblr_inline_olnd4v172r1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="400" data-orig-width="651"/></figure><p>We must do LOOOOOONG lines for hours for buy the basic food. Like flour, sugar, rice, pasta, meat, chicken…. </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="419" data-orig-width="696"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/890b4842d4301e27962575410fbbca25/tumblr_inline_olnd8kPjWb1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="419" data-orig-width="696"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="530" data-orig-width="950"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a63f01e839c608526170158f02efc4ab/tumblr_inline_olnd991QRD1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="530" data-orig-width="950"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="391" data-orig-width="570"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a57063433715feac1a2cb06369e8d2af/tumblr_inline_olnd9kTtu01s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="391" data-orig-width="570"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="533" data-orig-width="800"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f6266d67bd0450e64a5a121fd9d4e987/tumblr_inline_olnda5G2ja1s4quhx_540.png" data-orig-height="533" data-orig-width="800"/></figure><p>We only can buy one time at the week, for the last number of our ID. </p> <p>If you search in Google “The next Venezuela”, you’ll see we aren’t a country anymore. We are a level in the shitmeter.</p> </blockquote> <p>Christ, I’m so sorry. If there are any charities or reputable organizations we can donate to, I’d love to share links to them. ;;</p> </blockquote> <p>Y'all this shortage of necessities shit had been going on in Venezuela for at least a decade. I have never been able to help because I don’t know what charities are allowed in or out of Venezuela and I don’t trust the people who run those charities to tell the truth. </p> <p>Please - someone IN Venezuela. Give me a name. A valid website. Something. I will do my damnedest to make something happen, even if it’s just a few families getting fed a few days. </p> <p>(Love how they voted the fucker out and he’s still in power. Just. So awesome. -_-)</p> </blockquote> <p>This is the first time I see a post on this site about my country and it breakes my heart… Because I want to give you names of charities so you can actually help us but I know people that tried to donate meds and food but our fucking goverment blocked that help. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/28/world/americas/venezuela-refuses-us-aid.html?_r=0">They refuse to accept aid</a>. They are so fucking sick of power that just<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jun/23/organization-american-states-venezuela-nicolas-maduro"> don’t care about us.</a></p> <p>The only way we have to fight this crisis is through social media, we use twitter to find meds and food and we came up with a few apps like <a href="http://donamed.com/">Donamed </a>or<a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.intomylist"> Akiztá</a> to help us find what we need. </p> <p>There are a bunch of twitter accounts dedicated to locate meds, such as: <a href="https://twitter.com/spvzla">@spvzla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/MedicinasEquiv">@MedicinasEquiv</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/Flapastillita">@Flapastillita</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/compartex1vida">@compartex1vida</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/sanandove">@sanandove</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/Donatumed">@Donatumed</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/AyudaMedicinasV">@AyudaMedicinasV</a> y <a href="https://twitter.com/DonandoMedicin1">@DonandoMedicin1</a></p> <p>For the people out there that want to help, like I said… it’s hard to tell you how you could do that because there’s no warranty that we’ll get the help. Still, I won’t let them win so I did my research and I found a few websites that I think you guys can trust and can donate to.</p> <p><b><a href="http://comparteporunavida.com/">http://comparteporunavida.com/</a> —&gt;</b> With your donation, this people get formula and nutritional suppliments for children in hospitals and homes in need.<br/></p> <p><b><a href="http://www.ayudahumanitariavenezuela.org/english.html">http://www.ayudahumanitariavenezuela.org/english.html</a> —&gt; </b>You can go to their online shop to buy medical supplies from a wish list, which are then delivered to those in need. <br/></p> <p><b><a href="https://www.soschildrensvillages.org.uk/donate/sponsor-a-child/">https://www.soschildrensvillages.org.uk/donate/sponsor-a-child/</a> —&gt;</b> I think you can choose and sponsor a Venezuelan child.<br/></p> <p><b><a href="http://www.chamos.org.uk/about-us/">http://www.chamos.org.uk/about-us/</a> —&gt; </b>They provide financial support for children to acquire medical, educational or other essential equipment.<br/></p> <p><b><a href="http://www.corazonymanosenaccion.com/dona_ahora.htm">http://www.corazonymanosenaccion.com/dona_ahora.htm</a> —&gt; </b>The thing with this site is that the bank accounts they work with are from here, so I don’t know the process when it’s an international donation.<br/></p> <p>The other sites I could find two gofundme created by people like you and me, I hope they mean well and that the money they receive reaches the people who really need it.</p> <p><b><a href="https://www.gofundme.com/FoodtoVenezuela">https://www.gofundme.com/FoodtoVenezuela</a></b><br/></p> <p><a href="https://www.gofundme.com/help-venezuela"><b><a href="https://www.gofundme.com/help-venezuela">https://www.gofundme.com/help-venezuela</a></b></a><br/></p> <p>If anyone knows more valid websites where people can go and make their donation, please feel free to add it.</p> <p>And of course  <b>SPREAD THE WORD!</b> The more we all know about the crisis, the bigger chance we have of making a difference in the lives of those who are suffering.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mCtVUGeyiLYOhO0glSDvyig">@enrique262</a> Some charities. </p> </blockquote> <p>Signal boost! </p> </blockquote>
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Ass, Clothes, and Fashion: who on earth coined the stereotype that girls are obsessed with changing clothes i've been wearing the same t shirt and pajama pants for two days now and the same bra for like three thenarator OOH OOH I KNOW THIS ONE! so in the elizabethan era queen elizabeth couldn't appear like she was having That Time of the Month in front of the male members of her court, and you bet your ass if she had to remain in the public eye while she was bleeding from the snatch then the rest of the female courtiers did too. because they didn't have handy dandy tampons back in the day, they would basically shove a rag down there and inevitably bleed onto the inner layers of their clothes. she what did they do? changed clothes. about eight times a day to be precise, and they did that all month long, so none of the delicate male constitutions would be offended by unseen yet implied bloody lady parts. this is part of why fashion was such a huuuuuge cultural item (and the secondhand clothing industry was such a huge part of society) because they had to appear like they were just doing it out of vanity/showing off their wealth. this became pretty much the standard mode of behavior for ladies who had to be out and about during shark week, right up until some nurses realized that the specialized gauze pads they used to plug up bullet wounds would work great for other such bleeding holes so yeah if you were wondering why dudes think women change their clothes a lot its because they don't understand periods Why girls change clothing all the time
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Animals, Children, and Family: influentialcreativity: disease-danger-darkness-silence: boyonetta: sao801: boyonetta: ask-daddies-fire: sao801: Do you see that? Looks like a joke image, right? Well, it isn’t. This happens in Venezuela. It looks like nobody knows how is our crisis, because I’ve talked with a lot of people (Americans, French, Canadian and even Mexican people) who really don’t know what is happening. I’ll explain the imagen. In Venezuela, we haven’t medicines, even in the hospitals. This is because a patient with hypoglycemia is being attended in this way, because the hospital don’t have dextrose for the people. This is happening in Caracas, Venezuela’s capital. But not only in Caracas, is confirmed that in Maracaibo too, and who know where too. Another cases: “I take prednisone for animals because I can’t found it anywhere and it helps me, isn’t logic, but our health can’t wait” “Confirmed, I’m medic performing in so many decadency. We even’t have privates places for dextrose for decompensated diabetics and believe me I could write for hours about so many that I’ve lived in the middle of this catastrophic crisis, where personally I’ve take with me a hurted pacient behind of a 350 because we haven’t ambulances, where we haven’t gloves for protect ourselves and a lot of  things like that, this is the reality…. It must be give “ORALLY” because the drink is rich in glucose (Sugar) for these pacients this imagen showes [She means the soda imagen] how is conected to a micromanager where it doesn’t looks very good… But it’s valid by an OROGASTRIC probe. As a heroic way, becase like we know “It’s incorrect”. I even can give my own testomony. My mom is sick, and she must work everyday, I can’t help her because my leg is broken, and my brother must help his own family. She’s in pain everyday, and the money is too hard to found. If there’s money, but there’s no medicine. And, if there’s medicine, there’s no money, because all the treatments are very expensive, like everything, for our inflation on the 1600%. Please, help us. @takashi0 @klubbhead @satoshi01 @libertybill @nunyabizni @boyonetta @steven-universe-official  I’m sorry, guys. Can you help me to spread this? :C I need that people know about Venezuela’s situation. I’m sorry for bother you. I’d be very interested in seeing more information on this. This sounds like something out of a post-apocalyptic nightmare novel. Sure thing, my friend! Since 2014, our crisis is worse with the health zone. There’s no too many medicines, and a lot of operations and treatments are delayed for this same reason. The hospitals don’t have spaces, litters or beds for the patients. If you go to a farmacy, there’s no medicine. A lot of hospitals are in a terrible state. Supplies that were lacking in public hospitals included sterile gloves and gauze, antiseptics, alcohol for medical use, scalpels, needles, catheters, intravenous solutions, nebulizers and surgical sutures. It was even common to lack basic cleaning supplies (such as bleach), which are essential to ensure a sterile environment in hospitals. Unhealthy conditions have led to in-hospital infections that could have been prevented. And this is only talking about the health zone. If we talk about the food shortage and the hyper inflation… We must do LOOOOOONG lines for hours for buy the basic food. Like flour, sugar, rice, pasta, meat, chicken….  We only can buy one time at the week, for the last number of our ID.  If you search in Google “The next Venezuela”, you’ll see we aren’t a country anymore. We are a level in the shitmeter. Christ, I’m so sorry. If there are any charities or reputable organizations we can donate to, I’d love to share links to them. ;; Y'all this shortage of necessities shit had been going on in Venezuela for at least a decade. I have never been able to help because I don’t know what charities are allowed in or out of Venezuela and I don’t trust the people who run those charities to tell the truth. Please - someone IN Venezuela. Give me a name. A valid website. Something. I will do my damnedest to make something happen, even if it’s just a few families getting fed a few days. (Love how they voted the fucker out and he’s still in power. Just. So awesome. -_-) This is the first time I see a post on this site about my country and it breakes my heart… Because I want to give you names of charities so you can actually help us but I know people that tried to donate meds and food but our fucking goverment blocked that help. They refuse to accept aid. They are so fucking sick of power that just don’t care about us. The only way we have to fight this crisis is through social media, we use twitter to find meds and food and we came up with a few apps like Donamed or Akiztá to help us find what we need.  There are a bunch of twitter accounts dedicated to locate meds, such as: @spvzla, @MedicinasEquiv, @Flapastillita, @compartex1vida, @sanandove, @Donatumed, @AyudaMedicinasV y @DonandoMedicin1 For the people out there that want to help, like I said… it’s hard to tell you how you could do that because there’s no warranty that we’ll get the help. Still, I won’t let them win so I did my research and I found a few websites that I think you guys can trust and can donate to. http://comparteporunavida.com/ —> With your donation, this people get formula and nutritional suppliments for children in hospitals and homes in need. http://www.ayudahumanitariavenezuela.org/english.html —> You can go to their online shop to buy medical supplies from a wish list, which are then delivered to those in need. https://www.soschildrensvillages.org.uk/donate/sponsor-a-child/ —> I think you can choose and sponsor a Venezuelan child. http://www.chamos.org.uk/about-us/ —> They provide financial support for children to acquire medical, educational or other essential equipment. http://www.corazonymanosenaccion.com/dona_ahora.htm —> The thing with this site is that the bank accounts they work with are from here, so I don’t know the process when it’s an international donation. The other sites I could find two gofundme created by people like you and me, I hope they mean well and that the money they receive reaches the people who really need it. https://www.gofundme.com/FoodtoVenezuela https://www.gofundme.com/help-venezuela If anyone knows more valid websites where people can go and make their donation, please feel free to add it. And of course  SPREAD THE WORD! The more we all know about the crisis, the bigger chance we have of making a difference in the lives of those who are suffering.
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Advice, Alive, and Ass: 90% CANT PRONOUNCE THIS WHOLE POEM WILL YOU TRY IT? Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, h I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy Tear in eye, your dress will tear So shall ! Oh hear my prayer Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery orse, and worse Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; ar, Solar, mica, war an One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, d far; ne, Mel Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, owa And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve Friend and fiend, alive and live. famous;c lamour And enamour rhyme with hammer River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, e and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover e and heaven, Leeches, breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor Tour, but our and succour, four Gas, alas, and Arkansas. a, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, aver, but ever, fever Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver Heron, granary, canary Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, an Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup My advice is to give up!!! <p>The Hardest Poem Ever.</p>
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Advice, Alive, and Ass: Sh Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy Make your head with heat grow dizzy Tear in eye, your dress will tear So shall I! Oh hear my prayer Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery Daughter, laughter, and T meas ais Exiles, similes, and reviles Solar, mica, war and far Balmoral, en, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind elpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve Friend and fiend, alive and live lvy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little We say actual but victual Refer does not rhyme with deafer FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer Mint, pint, senate and sedate Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor Tour, but our and succour, four Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion Sally with ally, yea, ye Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key aver, but ever, fever Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver rana Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging Ought, out, joust and Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, rou Ste on Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! <p>Excellent English Pronunciation Poem</p>
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Confused, Dad, and Facebook: koobaxion Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like "hey...i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe... and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like damn... why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like alright, you do that" Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler "WHATS UP FUCKS" to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like l swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what. Keep in mind I'm on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So l just say "shush man I'm trying to do fruit science, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said "yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me su them and made "lightning noises" per pow ers and then pointed my fingers at So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and l go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these fuckin... tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the unami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them) Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" sweethoneysempai Source: koobaxion Jambo Juiceomg-humor.tumblr.com
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