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                            Lady Gaga Keeps Tweeting Weird 'Memes', And We're A Little Obsessed
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’
: phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

        

            
            

                
                
                    phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’
: phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

                    
                
            

            
                
                
phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        joekerspades:

elitigre:

frender:

deadfoxforcutie:


trashgender-neurotica:

blueeyeddl:

tikkunolamorgtfo:


trashgender-neurotica:

When you’re an adult man and you try to troll a little girl but instead she drags you straight to hell.
(source)

“I’m down with white nationalism but I will clutch my pearls if I hear an F-bomb.” White people in a nutshell.


Is he calling her “young man” or “young ma'am”? I can’t tell. Considering it’s infowars, may be relevant either way….. 

He said “young man”, no doubt in an attempt to launch into anti-trans rhetoric with her as a prop.
This is a good way to handle that.

why is it that every reactionary white dude talks like this. “oh wow, oh my gosh!! oh golly!! oh jeepers!!” 


it’s actually a little bit horrifying that he would try to expose a child to the lion den of internet white nationalism by making her a prop to make fun of. but yeah, the little girl is “scandalous” because she rightfully called this grown man a fucking idiot



Fun trivia fact: this single clip entirely ended this dumbass dude’s career in Infowars and alt right publication, because no one took him seriously anymore after a “little girl” called him a fucking idiot to his face and all he could do was say wow and oh my gosh.
: joekerspades:

elitigre:

frender:

deadfoxforcutie:


trashgender-neurotica:

blueeyeddl:

tikkunolamorgtfo:


trashgender-neurotica:

When you’re an adult man and you try to troll a little girl but instead she drags you straight to hell.
(source)

“I’m down with white nationalism but I will clutch my pearls if I hear an F-bomb.” White people in a nutshell.


Is he calling her “young man” or “young ma'am”? I can’t tell. Considering it’s infowars, may be relevant either way….. 

He said “young man”, no doubt in an attempt to launch into anti-trans rhetoric with her as a prop.
This is a good way to handle that.

why is it that every reactionary white dude talks like this. “oh wow, oh my gosh!! oh golly!! oh jeepers!!” 


it’s actually a little bit horrifying that he would try to expose a child to the lion den of internet white nationalism by making her a prop to make fun of. but yeah, the little girl is “scandalous” because she rightfully called this grown man a fucking idiot



Fun trivia fact: this single clip entirely ended this dumbass dude’s career in Infowars and alt right publication, because no one took him seriously anymore after a “little girl” called him a fucking idiot to his face and all he could do was say wow and oh my gosh.

        

            
            

                
                
                    joekerspades:

elitigre:

frender:

deadfoxforcutie:


trashgender-neurotica:

blueeyeddl:

tikkunolamorgtfo:


trashgender-neurotica:

When you’re an adult man and you try to troll a little girl but instead she drags you straight to hell.
(source)

“I’m down with white nationalism but I will clutch my pearls if I hear an F-bomb.” White people in a nutshell.


Is he calling her “young man” or “young ma'am”? I can’t tell. Considering it’s infowars, may be relevant either way….. 

He said “young man”, no doubt in an attempt to launch into anti-trans rhetoric with her as a prop.
This is a good way to handle that.

why is it that every reactionary white dude talks like this. “oh wow, oh my gosh!! oh golly!! oh jeepers!!” 


it’s actually a little bit horrifying that he would try to expose a child to the lion den of internet white nationalism by making her a prop to make fun of. but yeah, the little girl is “scandalous” because she rightfully called this grown man a fucking idiot



Fun trivia fact: this single clip entirely ended this dumbass dude’s career in Infowars and alt right publication, because no one took him seriously anymore after a “little girl” called him a fucking idiot to his face and all he could do was say wow and oh my gosh.
: joekerspades:

elitigre:

frender:

deadfoxforcutie:


trashgender-neurotica:

blueeyeddl:

tikkunolamorgtfo:


trashgender-neurotica:

When you’re an adult man and you try to troll a little girl but instead she drags you straight to hell.
(source)

“I’m down with white nationalism but I will clutch my pearls if I hear an F-bomb.” White people in a nutshell.


Is he calling her “young man” or “young ma'am”? I can’t tell. Considering it’s infowars, may be relevant either way….. 

He said “young man”, no doubt in an attempt to launch into anti-trans rhetoric with her as a prop.
This is a good way to handle that.

why is it that every reactionary white dude talks like this. “oh wow, oh my gosh!! oh golly!! oh jeepers!!” 


it’s actually a little bit horrifying that he would try to expose a child to the lion den of internet white nationalism by making her a prop to make fun of. but yeah, the little girl is “scandalous” because she rightfully called this grown man a fucking idiot



Fun trivia fact: this single clip entirely ended this dumbass dude’s career in Infowars and alt right publication, because no one took him seriously anymore after a “little girl” called him a fucking idiot to his face and all he could do was say wow and oh my gosh.

                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        angelfire115:

zetarays:

angeredthoughts:

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

polyglotplatypus:

polyglotplatypus:
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

Yes this! 
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.

@tamberland

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED

: angelfire115:

zetarays:

angeredthoughts:

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

polyglotplatypus:

polyglotplatypus:
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

Yes this! 
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.

@tamberland

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED


        

            
            

                
                
                    angelfire115:

zetarays:

angeredthoughts:

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

polyglotplatypus:

polyglotplatypus:
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

Yes this! 
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.

@tamberland

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED

: angelfire115:

zetarays:

angeredthoughts:

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

polyglotplatypus:

polyglotplatypus:
im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers
ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 
(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

Yes this! 
Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)
And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).
Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).
Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.
Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.
You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.
Not even a little bit.

@tamberland

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE EVER LEARNED


                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

        

            
            

                
                
                    cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

                    
                
            

            
                
                
cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the g...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I have one of those mannequins,,,, catch me making it fancy clothing now: kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I have one of those mannequins,,,, catch me making it fancy clothing now
        

            
            

                
                
                    kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I have one of those mannequins,,,, catch me making it fancy clothing now: kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I have one of those mannequins,,,, catch me making it fancy clothing now
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        love-takes-work:

“I thought they stopped making them.”
“They did! So I made my own!”

Sometimes you can’t go back. Sometimes even though it would be the perfect happy ending to bring back an element of where you came from, it just never happens and your old sweet comfort doesn’t return.
So you make your own.
You deal with the fact that it’s imperfect. And maybe a little ugly. And isn’t the same. And doesn’t come in a cool package shipped to a convenient location that you can just enjoy without much trouble.
You deal with it, and you enjoy this version of the taste, and you accept that you can choose to have something in your life even if you have to put it there in unprecedented ways.
Make your own Cookie Cats, y’all.
My first homemade Cookie Cat
The Cookie Cats I make now
: love-takes-work:

“I thought they stopped making them.”
“They did! So I made my own!”

Sometimes you can’t go back. Sometimes even though it would be the perfect happy ending to bring back an element of where you came from, it just never happens and your old sweet comfort doesn’t return.
So you make your own.
You deal with the fact that it’s imperfect. And maybe a little ugly. And isn’t the same. And doesn’t come in a cool package shipped to a convenient location that you can just enjoy without much trouble.
You deal with it, and you enjoy this version of the taste, and you accept that you can choose to have something in your life even if you have to put it there in unprecedented ways.
Make your own Cookie Cats, y’all.
My first homemade Cookie Cat
The Cookie Cats I make now

        

            
            

                
                
                    love-takes-work:

“I thought they stopped making them.”
“They did! So I made my own!”

Sometimes you can’t go back. Sometimes even though it would be the perfect happy ending to bring back an element of where you came from, it just never happens and your old sweet comfort doesn’t return.
So you make your own.
You deal with the fact that it’s imperfect. And maybe a little ugly. And isn’t the same. And doesn’t come in a cool package shipped to a convenient location that you can just enjoy without much trouble.
You deal with it, and you enjoy this version of the taste, and you accept that you can choose to have something in your life even if you have to put it there in unprecedented ways.
Make your own Cookie Cats, y’all.
My first homemade Cookie Cat
The Cookie Cats I make now
: love-takes-work:

“I thought they stopped making them.”
“They did! So I made my own!”

Sometimes you can’t go back. Sometimes even though it would be the perfect happy ending to bring back an element of where you came from, it just never happens and your old sweet comfort doesn’t return.
So you make your own.
You deal with the fact that it’s imperfect. And maybe a little ugly. And isn’t the same. And doesn’t come in a cool package shipped to a convenient location that you can just enjoy without much trouble.
You deal with it, and you enjoy this version of the taste, and you accept that you can choose to have something in your life even if you have to put it there in unprecedented ways.
Make your own Cookie Cats, y’all.
My first homemade Cookie Cat
The Cookie Cats I make now

                    
                
            

            
                
                
love-takes-work:

“I thought they stopped making them.”
“They did! So I made my own!”

Sometimes you can’t go back. Sometimes even though...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        starkswhee:
queercyberoceancowgirl:

tulparightsactivist:

cheshireinthemiddle:


joekewlio:


systlin:

jabberwockypie:

kayrowhitesyrup:

black-girl-against-feminism:


keyhollow:

surprisebitch:

pancakes are made of eggs omfg




Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. 


I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.
Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯



As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.
Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 


Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.
Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.
Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. 


Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh? 






: starkswhee:
queercyberoceancowgirl:

tulparightsactivist:

cheshireinthemiddle:


joekewlio:


systlin:

jabberwockypie:

kayrowhitesyrup:

black-girl-against-feminism:


keyhollow:

surprisebitch:

pancakes are made of eggs omfg




Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. 


I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.
Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯



As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.
Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 


Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.
Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.
Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. 


Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh? 







        

            
            

                
                
                    starkswhee:
queercyberoceancowgirl:

tulparightsactivist:

cheshireinthemiddle:


joekewlio:


systlin:

jabberwockypie:

kayrowhitesyrup:

black-girl-against-feminism:


keyhollow:

surprisebitch:

pancakes are made of eggs omfg




Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. 


I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.
Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯



As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.
Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 


Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.
Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.
Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. 


Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh? 






: starkswhee:
queercyberoceancowgirl:

tulparightsactivist:

cheshireinthemiddle:


joekewlio:


systlin:

jabberwockypie:

kayrowhitesyrup:

black-girl-against-feminism:


keyhollow:

surprisebitch:

pancakes are made of eggs omfg




Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. 


I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.
Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯



As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.
Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 


Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.
Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.
Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. 


Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh? 







                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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                                    He A Little Confused, But He Got The Spirit Memes
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    Chris Jericho: 10 Best "A Little Bit Of The Bubbly" Memes
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    A little bit of social justice and trolling