🔥 Popular | Latest

bisexualbaker: bisexualbaker: thwippersnapple: Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it! [Image one: Tweet from Chuck Tingle ( @ChuckTingle ): please enjoy new full length adult romance novel (52000 words) in paperback or ebook about the best wizard: TRANS WIZARD HARRIET PORBER AND THE BAD BOY PARASAUROLOPHUS available now also trans rights amazon.com/dp/B08B386R6J ] [Image two: Cover of the aforementioned Harriet Porber novel; Harriet is front and center, a young trans woman with light skin, long dark hair, and glasses; she has a wand raised in her right hand. Behind her are a mammoth in a wizard’s hat, an anthropomorphic duck-billed dinosaur, and a motorcycle with the head of a woman.] Chuck Tingle is a gift. OMG the summary: Trans wizard Harriet Porber is a master spellsmith who’s found herself in a bit of a pickle. After finishing wizard college, Harriet made a name for herself by creating a hit viral spell, but has since failed to craft a follow up. Now Harriet’s agent, Minerma, is breathing down her neck, suggesting that Harriet take a trip to an island off the coast of England for inspiration.Hoping for some peace and quiet to clear her head, Harriet Porber arrives to find that her new neighbor, an angsty bard named Snabe from the band Seven Inch Nails, is already there making a racket. This parasaurolophus spellcaster is a bad boy through and through, and with his incredible powers of metamagic, Snabe reveals that this layer of reality is much more than it seems. Could Harriet and Snabe really be characters in a parody romance novel?Soon enough, these two are discovering they have more similarities than differences: both trans, both strong, and both hoping to create a new spell that will change the world. But with the addition of two devious sentient motorcycles to the mix, Dellatrix and Braco, things start to get complicated.Now trans wizard Harriet Porber is caught up in a tale of magic and mystery where nothing is as it seems, except for one universal truth: love is real.This is a 52,000 word bad boy romance novel for adults. It contains some explicit scenes. : bisexualbaker: bisexualbaker: thwippersnapple: Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it! [Image one: Tweet from Chuck Tingle ( @ChuckTingle ): please enjoy new full length adult romance novel (52000 words) in paperback or ebook about the best wizard: TRANS WIZARD HARRIET PORBER AND THE BAD BOY PARASAUROLOPHUS available now also trans rights amazon.com/dp/B08B386R6J ] [Image two: Cover of the aforementioned Harriet Porber novel; Harriet is front and center, a young trans woman with light skin, long dark hair, and glasses; she has a wand raised in her right hand. Behind her are a mammoth in a wizard’s hat, an anthropomorphic duck-billed dinosaur, and a motorcycle with the head of a woman.] Chuck Tingle is a gift. OMG the summary: Trans wizard Harriet Porber is a master spellsmith who’s found herself in a bit of a pickle. After finishing wizard college, Harriet made a name for herself by creating a hit viral spell, but has since failed to craft a follow up. Now Harriet’s agent, Minerma, is breathing down her neck, suggesting that Harriet take a trip to an island off the coast of England for inspiration.Hoping for some peace and quiet to clear her head, Harriet Porber arrives to find that her new neighbor, an angsty bard named Snabe from the band Seven Inch Nails, is already there making a racket. This parasaurolophus spellcaster is a bad boy through and through, and with his incredible powers of metamagic, Snabe reveals that this layer of reality is much more than it seems. Could Harriet and Snabe really be characters in a parody romance novel?Soon enough, these two are discovering they have more similarities than differences: both trans, both strong, and both hoping to create a new spell that will change the world. But with the addition of two devious sentient motorcycles to the mix, Dellatrix and Braco, things start to get complicated.Now trans wizard Harriet Porber is caught up in a tale of magic and mystery where nothing is as it seems, except for one universal truth: love is real.This is a 52,000 word bad boy romance novel for adults. It contains some explicit scenes.

bisexualbaker: bisexualbaker: thwippersnapple: Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it! [Imag...

Save
evilkitten3: yaschiri: bea2me: Bright spots where you can find them: this action is illegal and the mayor is doing it anyway. There’s a “historic preservation” law in Birmingham that makes it difficult to impossible to get rid of landmarks past a certain age that “just happened to” grandfather in all the Confederate nastiness around town. Many have wanted this thing gone for a while but there was no legal way to do it. It’s getting done now. Reblogging with this addition. Important context.Also to say, anyone in the comments who is upset at “”“history”“” being removed, we literally don’t need this. Nobody is about to forget the hundreds of years of oppression that white people have put PoC and esp black people through. And if you forget or you do not teach that to your children, you’re the problem, hands down. also: history is not recorded in statues. it’s recorded in books. history is glorified in statues.: evilkitten3: yaschiri: bea2me: Bright spots where you can find them: this action is illegal and the mayor is doing it anyway. There’s a “historic preservation” law in Birmingham that makes it difficult to impossible to get rid of landmarks past a certain age that “just happened to” grandfather in all the Confederate nastiness around town. Many have wanted this thing gone for a while but there was no legal way to do it. It’s getting done now. Reblogging with this addition. Important context.Also to say, anyone in the comments who is upset at “”“history”“” being removed, we literally don’t need this. Nobody is about to forget the hundreds of years of oppression that white people have put PoC and esp black people through. And if you forget or you do not teach that to your children, you’re the problem, hands down. also: history is not recorded in statues. it’s recorded in books. history is glorified in statues.

evilkitten3: yaschiri: bea2me: Bright spots where you can find them: this action is illegal and the mayor is doing it anyway. There’s a...

Save
yaschiri: bea2me: Bright spots where you can find them: this action is illegal and the mayor is doing it anyway. There’s a “historic preservation” law in Birmingham that makes it difficult to impossible to get rid of landmarks past a certain age that “just happened to” grandfather in all the Confederate nastiness around town. Many have wanted this thing gone for a while but there was no legal way to do it. It’s getting done now. Reblogging with this addition. Important context.Also to say, anyone in the comments who is upset at “”“history”“” being removed, we literally don’t need this. Nobody is about to forget the hundreds of years of oppression that white people have put PoC and esp black people through. And if you forget or you do not teach that to your children, you’re the problem, hands down. : yaschiri: bea2me: Bright spots where you can find them: this action is illegal and the mayor is doing it anyway. There’s a “historic preservation” law in Birmingham that makes it difficult to impossible to get rid of landmarks past a certain age that “just happened to” grandfather in all the Confederate nastiness around town. Many have wanted this thing gone for a while but there was no legal way to do it. It’s getting done now. Reblogging with this addition. Important context.Also to say, anyone in the comments who is upset at “”“history”“” being removed, we literally don’t need this. Nobody is about to forget the hundreds of years of oppression that white people have put PoC and esp black people through. And if you forget or you do not teach that to your children, you’re the problem, hands down.

yaschiri: bea2me: Bright spots where you can find them: this action is illegal and the mayor is doing it anyway. There’s a “historic pre...

Save
e-e-e-s: dudeinpyjamas: anadiableau: Okay but honestly fucking shit like this when they show Zuko’s scar side when talking about Sozin and then having the bar pass and have his non-scar side when Iroh says Roku is his great grandfather if EXACTLY the kind of shit that elevates this show to where really no other show has ever come and probably never will I mean if you frame it in a photo it looks much better, in reality it was a moving shot. Still nice but not amazing. What really is an amzing shot is this Who is realy imprisioned here? The way this shot is framed makes it clear that Zuko is in a prison of his own mind. In fact you can look at how Zuko and Iroh are generally framed in this scene Zuko: and Iroh: Even in shots where Iroh is framed together with the iron bars he is far removed from them while Zuko is right in front: What takes the cake though is the following shot sequence: When it shows Iroh it zooms in from this: To this: While with Zuko it’s the exact reverse. It zooms out from this: To this: Say what you want but man Avatar had some amazing shot composition.  Also the reason The Last Airbender was better than Korra is because atla had Zuko and Iroh, while Korra didn’t. Fight me. In addition to this scene being very well done, the whole The Avatar and the Firelord episode is just genius. It just makes the parallels between Zuko and Aang so much more powerful in retrospect. They weren’t on parallel paths just because. They were on parallel paths because they’re two parts of one lineage: Roku’s Fire Nation lineage and his spiritual-mediator Avatar lineage. And throughout the series the two of them are paired up through visual language, and the show even goes as far as match-cuts between the two of them as they’re in different locations and different fights. I forget where, but I KNOW there’s a shot where Aang is dodging in a fight and basically running towards the viewer and it cuts straight to Zuko doing the exact same thing, like they’re two enactments of one story. And the twin blades? Zuko himself says they’re two halves of a single weapon, and shouldn’t be thought of as separate. The twin blades which we really first see in The Blue Spirit storyline, in which Aang asks Zuko if they COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS. It’s been stated that the blades represent the good and evil parts of Zuko, but isn’t that just a direct result of him grappling with his lineage, which is directly tied to Aang? In conclusion: I am not ok and will never be ok. Thanks Avatar. : e-e-e-s: dudeinpyjamas: anadiableau: Okay but honestly fucking shit like this when they show Zuko’s scar side when talking about Sozin and then having the bar pass and have his non-scar side when Iroh says Roku is his great grandfather if EXACTLY the kind of shit that elevates this show to where really no other show has ever come and probably never will I mean if you frame it in a photo it looks much better, in reality it was a moving shot. Still nice but not amazing. What really is an amzing shot is this Who is realy imprisioned here? The way this shot is framed makes it clear that Zuko is in a prison of his own mind. In fact you can look at how Zuko and Iroh are generally framed in this scene Zuko: and Iroh: Even in shots where Iroh is framed together with the iron bars he is far removed from them while Zuko is right in front: What takes the cake though is the following shot sequence: When it shows Iroh it zooms in from this: To this: While with Zuko it’s the exact reverse. It zooms out from this: To this: Say what you want but man Avatar had some amazing shot composition.  Also the reason The Last Airbender was better than Korra is because atla had Zuko and Iroh, while Korra didn’t. Fight me. In addition to this scene being very well done, the whole The Avatar and the Firelord episode is just genius. It just makes the parallels between Zuko and Aang so much more powerful in retrospect. They weren’t on parallel paths just because. They were on parallel paths because they’re two parts of one lineage: Roku’s Fire Nation lineage and his spiritual-mediator Avatar lineage. And throughout the series the two of them are paired up through visual language, and the show even goes as far as match-cuts between the two of them as they’re in different locations and different fights. I forget where, but I KNOW there’s a shot where Aang is dodging in a fight and basically running towards the viewer and it cuts straight to Zuko doing the exact same thing, like they’re two enactments of one story. And the twin blades? Zuko himself says they’re two halves of a single weapon, and shouldn’t be thought of as separate. The twin blades which we really first see in The Blue Spirit storyline, in which Aang asks Zuko if they COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS. It’s been stated that the blades represent the good and evil parts of Zuko, but isn’t that just a direct result of him grappling with his lineage, which is directly tied to Aang? In conclusion: I am not ok and will never be ok. Thanks Avatar.
Save
noctiscorvus: squirenonny: anaryllis: uncommonbish: I can’t count how many times men have humiliated me by “IT’S JUST PERIOD” when looking up this article for clarification i found this one that points out that period pain is actually typically MUCH WORSE than heart attacks - as heart attacks more commonly have dull pains  and, interestingly: Period pain happens mostly because of substances called prostaglandins, Gunter explained in the post. They’re released from the lining of the uterus and make it contract. And during these period contractions, pressure on the uterus can be just as high as it is during the “pushing” stage of labor, she added.“So if you need an analogy to describe period pain,” Gunter wrote, “use labor or cutting your finger off without an anesthetic.” “If you are waiting for terrible, excruciating chest pain to tell you that you are having a heart attack, well, you are going to miss the heart attack,” Gunter wrote. “Heart attacks often produce vague symptoms or mild pain, that is why many people ignore them … In addition, more than 40% of women have no pain with heart attacks. It would be dangerous for women to think that a heart attack should be at least as bad as their menstrual cramps.” ^^^ Important point from that article. It sounds like a dramatic comparison. “Cramps are as bad as heart attacks?!” But not only does it still actually downplay the pain many menstruating people feel, it increases the risk that those same people will ignore a heart attack because it doesn’t hurt enough to worry them. Can I add on that a lot of women think they’re suffering from menstrual cramps and do their best to go about their day when in reality their appendix is seconds away from bursting? This happens a lot. Seriously. : noctiscorvus: squirenonny: anaryllis: uncommonbish: I can’t count how many times men have humiliated me by “IT’S JUST PERIOD” when looking up this article for clarification i found this one that points out that period pain is actually typically MUCH WORSE than heart attacks - as heart attacks more commonly have dull pains  and, interestingly: Period pain happens mostly because of substances called prostaglandins, Gunter explained in the post. They’re released from the lining of the uterus and make it contract. And during these period contractions, pressure on the uterus can be just as high as it is during the “pushing” stage of labor, she added.“So if you need an analogy to describe period pain,” Gunter wrote, “use labor or cutting your finger off without an anesthetic.” “If you are waiting for terrible, excruciating chest pain to tell you that you are having a heart attack, well, you are going to miss the heart attack,” Gunter wrote. “Heart attacks often produce vague symptoms or mild pain, that is why many people ignore them … In addition, more than 40% of women have no pain with heart attacks. It would be dangerous for women to think that a heart attack should be at least as bad as their menstrual cramps.” ^^^ Important point from that article. It sounds like a dramatic comparison. “Cramps are as bad as heart attacks?!” But not only does it still actually downplay the pain many menstruating people feel, it increases the risk that those same people will ignore a heart attack because it doesn’t hurt enough to worry them. Can I add on that a lot of women think they’re suffering from menstrual cramps and do their best to go about their day when in reality their appendix is seconds away from bursting? This happens a lot. Seriously.

noctiscorvus: squirenonny: anaryllis: uncommonbish: I can’t count how many times men have humiliated me by “IT’S JUST PERIOD” when look...

Save
rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

Save
just-a-little-anxious: warriorsofficial: asleepinawell: operahousebookworm: robynspreciousnest: fandersunite: its-eggo: astral-ghoul: ninapop45: deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: buggykin: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: biggest-goofiest-fish: desertdaylight: kait-the-kitty: chiribomb: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. This was in my senior project I’m not sorry. EIGHT MEME COMBO FATALITY We have officially created a new language  I just had to do it to em THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING M E M E T E N OwO? W o w You know I had to I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it THIRTEEN!? SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy” well i added my contribution : ) why— IM SCREAMING This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense. “You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?”“Oh yeah, sure.”“Can you explain it to me?”“I absolutely fucking cannot.” can you believe they couldn’t even get $3 million for this website yes. I’m sorry, but I had to: just-a-little-anxious: warriorsofficial: asleepinawell: operahousebookworm: robynspreciousnest: fandersunite: its-eggo: astral-ghoul: ninapop45: deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: buggykin: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: biggest-goofiest-fish: desertdaylight: kait-the-kitty: chiribomb: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. This was in my senior project I’m not sorry. EIGHT MEME COMBO FATALITY We have officially created a new language  I just had to do it to em THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING M E M E T E N OwO? W o w You know I had to I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it THIRTEEN!? SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy” well i added my contribution : ) why— IM SCREAMING This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense. “You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?”“Oh yeah, sure.”“Can you explain it to me?”“I absolutely fucking cannot.” can you believe they couldn’t even get $3 million for this website yes. I’m sorry, but I had to
Save
enderman: enderman: NEW ORE?!?!? NO WAY AND IT’S BETTER THAN DIAMOND?!!?!??! Alright, I’ve had the chance to play around in the nether for a while and I’ve learned more about how this stuff works… So, while netherite is better than diamonds, it is prohibitively rarer than obtaining diamonds is. The way you get netherrite is by finding these “ancient debris” blocks that generate below ~25 on the y level, (I found they’re most common around y levels 10-16 or so, the lowest I saw them generate was y:7). They look like this: They generate in ore veins of 1-3, I find that the veins of 3 are quite rare though. I also never saw them visible from the surface, but maybe it can happen sometimes. More often than not it looks like you’ll have to use stripmines just to find them, though. Once you find a vein of the stuff, I hope you brought a diamond pick, though- they can only be mined using diamond. I tried iron and gold, it’s ridiculously slow with those and they don’t drop, you need a diamond pick. Once you mine it, you get just the ore form of it, like mining iron or gold ore (so, it’s not affected by the fortune enchant). You can smelt it in a furnace or blast furnace to get “netherite scrap”, which is then used to make the ingots. You need gold ingots as well to combine with the scraps, like so: Once you’ve crafted up a netherite ingot, the way you use it in crafting recipes isn’t quite what you might expect. Instead of using the ingots directly, you craft tools and armor from them like this: Yup. You need to combine diamond tools and armor with the ingot to get the netherite stuff. At the very least, it means you don’t need a ridiculous amount of netherite just to be able to make anything, but you will need a lot more diamonds. Also, before you ask, no you don’t keep the enchantments from the diamond armor if you use enchanted diamond while crafting- all the enchantments are lost when making netherite. That’s ok though, because as the changelog post said, netherite is more enchantable than diamond gear is. Netherite armor looks like this: I think it looks pretty Sexy tbh In addition, netherite items have a rather unique property… They don’t burn in lava btw, here’s what it looks like enchanted: All in all. I am in love with this new ore thank you so much mojang we are truly blessed : enderman: enderman: NEW ORE?!?!? NO WAY AND IT’S BETTER THAN DIAMOND?!!?!??! Alright, I’ve had the chance to play around in the nether for a while and I’ve learned more about how this stuff works… So, while netherite is better than diamonds, it is prohibitively rarer than obtaining diamonds is. The way you get netherrite is by finding these “ancient debris” blocks that generate below ~25 on the y level, (I found they’re most common around y levels 10-16 or so, the lowest I saw them generate was y:7). They look like this: They generate in ore veins of 1-3, I find that the veins of 3 are quite rare though. I also never saw them visible from the surface, but maybe it can happen sometimes. More often than not it looks like you’ll have to use stripmines just to find them, though. Once you find a vein of the stuff, I hope you brought a diamond pick, though- they can only be mined using diamond. I tried iron and gold, it’s ridiculously slow with those and they don’t drop, you need a diamond pick. Once you mine it, you get just the ore form of it, like mining iron or gold ore (so, it’s not affected by the fortune enchant). You can smelt it in a furnace or blast furnace to get “netherite scrap”, which is then used to make the ingots. You need gold ingots as well to combine with the scraps, like so: Once you’ve crafted up a netherite ingot, the way you use it in crafting recipes isn’t quite what you might expect. Instead of using the ingots directly, you craft tools and armor from them like this: Yup. You need to combine diamond tools and armor with the ingot to get the netherite stuff. At the very least, it means you don’t need a ridiculous amount of netherite just to be able to make anything, but you will need a lot more diamonds. Also, before you ask, no you don’t keep the enchantments from the diamond armor if you use enchanted diamond while crafting- all the enchantments are lost when making netherite. That’s ok though, because as the changelog post said, netherite is more enchantable than diamond gear is. Netherite armor looks like this: I think it looks pretty Sexy tbh In addition, netherite items have a rather unique property… They don’t burn in lava btw, here’s what it looks like enchanted: All in all. I am in love with this new ore thank you so much mojang we are truly blessed

enderman: enderman: NEW ORE?!?!? NO WAY AND IT’S BETTER THAN DIAMOND?!!?!??! Alright, I’ve had the chance to play around in the nether...

Save
lemonsgivelife: debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :) Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you. : lemonsgivelife: debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :) Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you.
Save
goosegoblin: theramseyloft: jurassicjenday: theramseyloft: tinysaurus-rex: iwilltrytobereasonable: cant-hug-every-human: thedeadofflandersfields: Pigeon steals poppies from the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia in order to build a nest beside a stained glass window. @birdblogwhichisforbirds @snitling EXACTLY This is two pigeons, pigeons nest in bonded pairs (notice the first one is checked and its mate on the nest is barred). Usually they don’t make nests nearly so big but I guess if you have the materials, go for it. The nest is so unusually big because the vast majority is a platform to keep the actual nest (just that tiny ring in the corner around the bird sitting in it) cushioned from the anti bird spikes. This is a work of beautiful defiance. Using the very thing installed to make just a moment’s rest impossible as structural supports for an immovably stable nursery. The symbolism achieved by these pigeons is better than some writers can hope for and I love it! From the nest on the bird repellent spikes to the fact that those spikes are along the stained glass windows of a church, a place associated with sanctuary and compassion. The fact that the nest is made of stolen poppies for remembrance day hits the hardest though. Of the 54 animals to be awarded the Dickin Medal for acts of gallantry during WW2, 32 of them were pigeons. These were messengers who flew through battlefields and across borders, many of whom were killed or severely injured by enemy forces including gunfire and trained falcons. Many of their achievements saved the lives of hundreds of soldiers, and yet now their descendants are faces with anti-bird spikes, shooting and poisoning in an attempt to rid the cities from the rats with wings. I love this picture because it feels like they’re taking back just a little bit of that credit owed to them.  Reblogging for this beautiful addition. [ID: three colour photographs. The first shows a pigeon holding a fake poppy in its teeth, standing on a marble surface. The second shows a nest made of hundreds of fake poppies, cushioning a sitting pigeon from the anti-bird spikes below. The final photo is a zoomed-out picture of the nest, showing many stained glass windows surrounding it.] : goosegoblin: theramseyloft: jurassicjenday: theramseyloft: tinysaurus-rex: iwilltrytobereasonable: cant-hug-every-human: thedeadofflandersfields: Pigeon steals poppies from the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia in order to build a nest beside a stained glass window. @birdblogwhichisforbirds @snitling EXACTLY This is two pigeons, pigeons nest in bonded pairs (notice the first one is checked and its mate on the nest is barred). Usually they don’t make nests nearly so big but I guess if you have the materials, go for it. The nest is so unusually big because the vast majority is a platform to keep the actual nest (just that tiny ring in the corner around the bird sitting in it) cushioned from the anti bird spikes. This is a work of beautiful defiance. Using the very thing installed to make just a moment’s rest impossible as structural supports for an immovably stable nursery. The symbolism achieved by these pigeons is better than some writers can hope for and I love it! From the nest on the bird repellent spikes to the fact that those spikes are along the stained glass windows of a church, a place associated with sanctuary and compassion. The fact that the nest is made of stolen poppies for remembrance day hits the hardest though. Of the 54 animals to be awarded the Dickin Medal for acts of gallantry during WW2, 32 of them were pigeons. These were messengers who flew through battlefields and across borders, many of whom were killed or severely injured by enemy forces including gunfire and trained falcons. Many of their achievements saved the lives of hundreds of soldiers, and yet now their descendants are faces with anti-bird spikes, shooting and poisoning in an attempt to rid the cities from the rats with wings. I love this picture because it feels like they’re taking back just a little bit of that credit owed to them.  Reblogging for this beautiful addition. [ID: three colour photographs. The first shows a pigeon holding a fake poppy in its teeth, standing on a marble surface. The second shows a nest made of hundreds of fake poppies, cushioning a sitting pigeon from the anti-bird spikes below. The final photo is a zoomed-out picture of the nest, showing many stained glass windows surrounding it.]

goosegoblin: theramseyloft: jurassicjenday: theramseyloft: tinysaurus-rex: iwilltrytobereasonable: cant-hug-every-human: thedeado...

Save
arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant : arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Save
The Berry Bog: dombinic why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh thetaobella You've never heard of The Bog? heartachedreamboy th the what heartachedreamboy #i forget some people dont understand massachusetts EACH ADDITION TO THIS POST MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD punkrorschach This is a cranberry bog (unflooded) it's how cranberries grow. Once they're ripe, the blog is flooded and the cranberries harvested. Basically by using big floaty things to round them all up and then scooping them out of the water. heartachedreamboy thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man in my head is still screaming "BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY", but i appreciate the education, bomberqueen17 oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the guy who owns the restaurant right down the road from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever, and in a former life before he started slinging reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic chicken, he was a cranberry farmer. His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one of the things that they did to keep insect damage down was that they encouraged wolf spiders to live in the cranberry field, to eat the bugs. This was all fine and good until they flooded the bog Now, you don't just like flood the bog and then go around it in a boat or whatever. No, you use hip waders to get in there and put the big floaty things where they go and get all the berries and such. Well when you're in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don't like it, so they're, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing. So yeah the first interview question he always asked potential cranberry bog harvester hires was "are you cool with spiders?" "You'd be amazed," he said to us, shaking his head a little, "how many guys would just straight lie. Like, you think I'm asking you that question to be cute? Nah man you're gonna have like a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows, you gotta be chill, those wolf spiders are fellow employees. You really gotta be chill with spiders if you're gonna work a cranberry harvest." 129,044 notes The Berry Bog

The Berry Bog

Save
19agbrown: thegreenpea: sunshine-tattoo: karyxdraws: ashenstormfall: delightfullyshamelessdinosar: ilovethetalkingclock: natsspammityspamspamham: deviantshunter: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them  Hey, do you like my art? Help support me and buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/zipper ❤️ “What happens when someone dies, but they have no one there waiting for them yet?” you are never truly alone i really love this so suicide is never the answer. please push on. things do get better - i promise.  I READ THIS BEFORE IT GOT THE HAPPY COLOURED ENDING, AND IT’S GREAT. THANK GOODNESS FOR THE GOOD ENDING.  because i saw people rebloggin this without this perfect addition and it kinda made me mad IN GONNA CRY Re blogging this again because it’s beautiful I’M SOBBING why y'all gotta make a bitch cry like this? I’m not crying. You are Why are my eyes leaking water? This can’t be normal. : Warry not Lok who |Share 19agbrown: thegreenpea: sunshine-tattoo: karyxdraws: ashenstormfall: delightfullyshamelessdinosar: ilovethetalkingclock: natsspammityspamspamham: deviantshunter: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them  Hey, do you like my art? Help support me and buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/zipper ❤️ “What happens when someone dies, but they have no one there waiting for them yet?” you are never truly alone i really love this so suicide is never the answer. please push on. things do get better - i promise.  I READ THIS BEFORE IT GOT THE HAPPY COLOURED ENDING, AND IT’S GREAT. THANK GOODNESS FOR THE GOOD ENDING.  because i saw people rebloggin this without this perfect addition and it kinda made me mad IN GONNA CRY Re blogging this again because it’s beautiful I’M SOBBING why y'all gotta make a bitch cry like this? I’m not crying. You are Why are my eyes leaking water? This can’t be normal.
Save
skeletonsloverockcandy: thegreenpea: sunshine-tattoo: karyxdraws: ashenstormfall: delightfullyshamelessdinosar: ilovethetalkingclock: natsspammityspamspamham: deviantshunter: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them  Hey, do you like my art? Help support me and buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/zipper ❤️ “What happens when someone dies, but they have no one there waiting for them yet?” you are never truly alone i really love this so suicide is never the answer. please push on. things do get better - i promise.  I READ THIS BEFORE IT GOT THE HAPPY COLOURED ENDING, AND IT’S GREAT. THANK GOODNESS FOR THE GOOD ENDING.  because i saw people rebloggin this without this perfect addition and it kinda made me mad IN GONNA CRY Re blogging this again because it’s beautiful I’M SOBBING why y'all gotta make a bitch cry like this? I’m not crying. You are *SNIFF* ugh I have so many TEARS, what a beautiful comic >~> 😭 : Warry not Lok who |Share skeletonsloverockcandy: thegreenpea: sunshine-tattoo: karyxdraws: ashenstormfall: delightfullyshamelessdinosar: ilovethetalkingclock: natsspammityspamspamham: deviantshunter: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: zipscribs: a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them  Hey, do you like my art? Help support me and buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/zipper ❤️ “What happens when someone dies, but they have no one there waiting for them yet?” you are never truly alone i really love this so suicide is never the answer. please push on. things do get better - i promise.  I READ THIS BEFORE IT GOT THE HAPPY COLOURED ENDING, AND IT’S GREAT. THANK GOODNESS FOR THE GOOD ENDING.  because i saw people rebloggin this without this perfect addition and it kinda made me mad IN GONNA CRY Re blogging this again because it’s beautiful I’M SOBBING why y'all gotta make a bitch cry like this? I’m not crying. You are *SNIFF* ugh I have so many TEARS, what a beautiful comic >~> 😭
Save
cisphobicmac: thecringeandwincefactory: i-hate-chick-fil-a: This guide will be useful to Americans when we need to protest This is great stuff for situations where you’re dealing primarily with cops - just please keep in mind that one size does not necessarily fit all situations. We’ve found locally, for instance, that nazis here like to use knives. A lot of knife injuries come from attempting to fend off an attack, and thus result in slashing injuries to the arms. Fortunately there are very light, flexible, and relatively inexpensive products originally intended for butchers to use that are great for this and will cover your whole arm or forearm. Always research this stuff ahead of time and look at what other people in similar situations are doing and share the information you find. And remember that you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to protect yourself. And always mask up. This persons comment wasn’t rebloggable but I felt was an important addition. : Hong Kong Protest Gear Summer 2019 Yellow construction helmet Goggles For flying debris Protects against rubber bullets, tear gas canisters, flying bricks Gas Mask Protecting against tear gas, which Hong Kong police use liberally Broad face cover To counter facial-recognition technology Black t-shirt Uniform adopted by Hong Kong protestors in contrast to white Ts, worn by Beijing supporters Backpack Typically holds snacks, water, change of clothes. tools and sometimes laser pens Lycra skin covers To protect against tear gas effects to shine in officers eyes. Elbow& knee pads For for falling, crawling and scuffing on city streets Umbrella Protection against rain and pepper spray Loose change For subway fare, to avoid being tracked through electronic transit passes Heat-resistant gloves To throw hot tear gas canisters back at police Photo: Saša Petricic/CBC cisphobicmac: thecringeandwincefactory: i-hate-chick-fil-a: This guide will be useful to Americans when we need to protest This is great stuff for situations where you’re dealing primarily with cops - just please keep in mind that one size does not necessarily fit all situations. We’ve found locally, for instance, that nazis here like to use knives. A lot of knife injuries come from attempting to fend off an attack, and thus result in slashing injuries to the arms. Fortunately there are very light, flexible, and relatively inexpensive products originally intended for butchers to use that are great for this and will cover your whole arm or forearm. Always research this stuff ahead of time and look at what other people in similar situations are doing and share the information you find. And remember that you don’t need to reinvent the wheel to protect yourself. And always mask up. This persons comment wasn’t rebloggable but I felt was an important addition.
Save
I love this so much: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack. Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks December C) Baby infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing* babe, i'm not sure if this would actually work? Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms I LOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" I love this so much
Save
arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant : arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Save