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laughingsquid: Stephen Colbert Works Out With Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg While Dressed Like Angus Young of AC/DC

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America, Bad, and Club: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE The lavout is clean and easy to read MARIA HUDSON 2. 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental t includes a link to Maria's professional profile. objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English. EDUCATION Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016) Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012) RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising Maria's goal!s are clear. LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present) Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present) Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011) It plays up Maria's selling points 4 ACHIEVEMENTS Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013) Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012) National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) SKILLS Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English It includes some references to high school WORK EXPERIENCE Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013) Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America Server Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience · Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time .Restocked service areas with supplies. It lists her social media skills. Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013) Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool Lifeguard Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED) Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs. It doesn't include a list of references. BUSINESS INSIDER jadelyn: chronic-illness-cat: titleknown: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience yoooo what i need by tomorrow AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Reblogging because I WISH I HAD FUCKING KNOWN ABOUT THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AGO! Dear sick Kitties, Please save this to your computer because one day you might be well enough to work in some capacity and it’s unfair for you to have blank spots on your resume/CV. You have worth and validity even if you don’t have a huge work history. YOU have value. This is mostly really good, but I have a couple minor disagreements.  So…here are three recommendations from an HR person who reads a shitton of resumes every day: Move the skills section up to the top!  You know what I give a fuck about the most when I’m reading a resume (at least for entry-level positions)?  WHAT YOU CAN DO.  I frankly don’t give a shit where you learned it.  Tell me what you’re capable of in concrete terms, organized in a bullet-points list or table that I can quickly scan to see if you even stand a chance of matching what we need, because that is all I’m doing in those critical first couple of seconds that decides whether I even bother looking at the rest of the resume.  (Which I get sounds kinda callous but when I have to get through a couple dozen resumes, meaning download, open, read, decide what to do, forward it to the appropriate person if it makes the cut with my comments/summary/recommendations, file it appropriately and go on to the next one, and get back to my other duties and responsibilities - which I don’t have enough hours in the day for as it is - I can’t afford to depth-read every single resume that hits my inbox.) Include volunteer experience as work experience if you have any.  Running the concession stand at a high school club event of some kind counts as cash handling and customer service experience.  Making blog themes for your friends counts as web design experience.  Just because you weren’t getting paid doesn’t mean it wasn’t work experience you can potentially leverage to get actual paying work. Rework that top statement - in its current form it’s looking like some odd hybrid of an executive summary (good!) and an objective statement (bad!), and I’m not sure how I feel about it tbh.  I think it’s the “leveraging…to positively contribute” bit that is pushing all my “ugh no fucking shit sherlock” buttons.  Like…what were you going to say, that you want to skate along doing the bare minimum amount of work and you don’t give a shit about the organization’s goals?  I see way too many regurgitated statements like that - “positively contribute” and “maximize success” and “utilize my skills to further goals” etc. - and they just make my eyes roll out of my head at this point because they’re so generically corporate.  I’d rather see a declarative statement about what you are and what you can do, than what you want. However, huge massive bonus points for putting language fluency right there at the top where I don’t have to go hunting for it - language skills are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS A PLUS and you want to highlight that shit as hard as you can.  Shove that language fluency in my fucking face, PLEASE.  Better that than having to scour your work history for mention of translation or anything like that, which I will only do if I’m A: already liking your qualifications so far, and B: totally fucking desperate for someone who speaks goddamn Spanish already.
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America, College, and Facebook: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE The lavout is clean and easy to read MARIA HUDSON 2. 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental t includes a link to Maria's professional profile. objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English. EDUCATION Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016) Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012) RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising Maria's goal!s are clear. LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present) Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present) Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011) It plays up Maria's selling points 4 ACHIEVEMENTS Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013) Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012) National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) SKILLS Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English It includes some references to high school WORK EXPERIENCE Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013) Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America Server Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience · Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time .Restocked service areas with supplies. It lists her social media skills. Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013) Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool Lifeguard Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED) Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs. It doesn't include a list of references. BUSINESS INSIDER abby-studies-art: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience yoooo what i need by tomorrow AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU need this!

abby-studies-art: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experi...

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Af, Ass, and Austin Powers: Needless to say, I didn't move for a while See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't need this type of negativity in yo life bruh 😂. (2) "OMG daddy I need you 😍." She a keeper. That's a good woman. (3) "K. How many other girls got this? Curious 🤔." <- wife. This is your wife, u found her bruh 😂. U feel me? She protecc. Like the flood waters coming, she gon rip the refrigerator door off the fridge and use it as a raft. She gon paddle your babies to safety. U gon call her from a business trip to NY like "baby u ok I seen the news" and she gon be like "NO I'M NOT OK MF I GOT *YOUR* LOOKIN ASS KIDS TRYINA PADDLE TO SAFETY BC U AIN'T HERE AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACE I GET TIGHT BC I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET U GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN LEAVE ME IN A FLOOD WE'LL DISCUSS LATER BYE." This type of woman will punch u in the face when u wake up for no reason. U sipping a Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso happy go lucky af ready to take on the day and she walk right up to u with her hair fucked up and punch u exactly in the nose to where yo septum deviate. Yo septum was good AF now it's crooked like Austin Powers teeth lol. And u like "baby??" And she like "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN MY DREAM. WITH A BLOND BITCH. AS I SUSPECTED. MOTHER 👏 FUCKER 👏. BEEN TOLD U. U LIKE BLONDS SO MUCH? GO FIND A BLOND, THEY GROW ON TREES. DON'T WASTE MY MF TIME. GET THE FUCK TO WORK WE TALK LATER." (Crazy women always wanna give u the business and then warn u that another reaming is coming lol.) And u just like "baby I don't have a type, YOU my type" and she just like "YOUR 👏 TYPE 👏 IS 👏 BLOND 👏 YOU 👏 DIRTY 👏 DICK 👏 NIGHTMARE 👏 CHEATER 👏 I 👏 SAID 👏 WE 👏 TALK 👏 LATER." There u have it. Getchu a girl who wild about u bro. If she lukewarm u wasting your time. Get a girl who will kill for u then fuck around KILL u - it's the stabby ones that always got the most firey Punani ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂 (📸: Reddit u-lucidf0x)

See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't ne...

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