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U ever start dating someone and they listen to your genre of music and u all excited about it but then they like the wrong shit and now u annoyed u ever brought up music in the first place 🤔. Like if I'm talking to a older grown and sexy Caucasian woman and she got a tribal tramp stamp and she like Nickelback I'm not gonna hold it against her pretty ass Bruh. The horrendous rock - tattoo taste is indicative of a dark past and I happen to like ladies with a dark past - just like pets who came from bad circumstances, I find women with more issues than Time Magazine easier to love 😍. (Side note: this type of woman is brutally honest, which I also love. Like I'm all "ayeee...u ever test positive for anything?" And she just like "yeah, gonorrhea, once, in 2007 😣. I went back stage at an Aerosmith show, got drunk, and banged Steven Tyler smh. Nothing some antibiotics couldn't fix ☺️." And I'm just like, to myself "WOW!!!! Do u also dumpster dive and play roulette with the first needle u see by jamming it in your thigh just to see what happen?! You bold AF, grown and sexy Caucasian woman!" 😂) Nah but u ain't gon discuss music with this chick. It's safe to say we gon spend the night talmbout Trump. But see sometimes the convo is more difficult. I'm like aye what u listen to, she like "rap ☺️" and I'm like "oh word? 😀" And she like "Drake, Gucci, Future, 21" and I'm like "take me to flavor town mama 😍" and then she all "G Eazy, Big Sean" and I'm all "this date was going great. It really was. I know in one week you gon text me like 'WELL I THOUGHT THE DATE WENT WELL SORRY I'M NOT UP TO YOUR STANDARD'" and imma have to reply and apologize but deep down I ain't sorry at all. If u a lil hipster who love Pinegrove and Weyes Blood we might could build a future. But if I ever have to come downstairs to enjoy pancakes with u and our 11 chirren and I hear "Last night took a L, but tonight I bounce back!", I might just say I'm going to Whole Foods for orange juice, get in the minivan, drive away, and never come back. Don't worry baby. Kids will be fine. I'll come back for the Princeton graduations, and NFL draft day 😘 GoodbyeForeverMyLove 😂😂😂: Don't talk to me or my son ever again DrSmashlove U ever start dating someone and they listen to your genre of music and u all excited about it but then they like the wrong shit and now u annoyed u ever brought up music in the first place 🤔. Like if I'm talking to a older grown and sexy Caucasian woman and she got a tribal tramp stamp and she like Nickelback I'm not gonna hold it against her pretty ass Bruh. The horrendous rock - tattoo taste is indicative of a dark past and I happen to like ladies with a dark past - just like pets who came from bad circumstances, I find women with more issues than Time Magazine easier to love 😍. (Side note: this type of woman is brutally honest, which I also love. Like I'm all "ayeee...u ever test positive for anything?" And she just like "yeah, gonorrhea, once, in 2007 😣. I went back stage at an Aerosmith show, got drunk, and banged Steven Tyler smh. Nothing some antibiotics couldn't fix ☺️." And I'm just like, to myself "WOW!!!! Do u also dumpster dive and play roulette with the first needle u see by jamming it in your thigh just to see what happen?! You bold AF, grown and sexy Caucasian woman!" 😂) Nah but u ain't gon discuss music with this chick. It's safe to say we gon spend the night talmbout Trump. But see sometimes the convo is more difficult. I'm like aye what u listen to, she like "rap ☺️" and I'm like "oh word? 😀" And she like "Drake, Gucci, Future, 21" and I'm like "take me to flavor town mama 😍" and then she all "G Eazy, Big Sean" and I'm all "this date was going great. It really was. I know in one week you gon text me like 'WELL I THOUGHT THE DATE WENT WELL SORRY I'M NOT UP TO YOUR STANDARD'" and imma have to reply and apologize but deep down I ain't sorry at all. If u a lil hipster who love Pinegrove and Weyes Blood we might could build a future. But if I ever have to come downstairs to enjoy pancakes with u and our 11 chirren and I hear "Last night took a L, but tonight I bounce back!", I might just say I'm going to Whole Foods for orange juice, get in the minivan, drive away, and never come back. Don't worry baby. Kids will be fine. I'll come back for the Princeton graduations, and NFL draft day 😘 GoodbyeForeverMyLove 😂😂😂
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The Prayer That All Mothers Need To Hear. Tina Fey Nails It.omg-humor.tumblr.com: Tina Fey Delivers A Mother's Prayer That All Mothers Need To Hear. This Is Gold. "First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it's the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach's eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called "Hell Drop," "Tower of Torture," or "The Death Spiral Rock 'N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith," and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age. Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I'm asking You, because if I knew, I'd be doing it, Youdammit. May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers. Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day - And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait. O Lord, break the Internet forever. And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it. And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. "My mother did this for me once," she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby's neck. "My mother did this for me." And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But l'l know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes. Amen." -Tina Fey FUNNY STUFF ON MEMEPIX.COM | МЕМЕРIХ.СOм The Prayer That All Mothers Need To Hear. Tina Fey Nails It.omg-humor.tumblr.com
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cocoalou: fucking sing along!!! part TWO - another random assortment of songs that you kind of have to sing along to….. // listen  1. i would walk 500 miles - the proclaimers  2. total eclipse of my heart - bonnie tyler 3. come sail away - styx  4.  summer nights - john travolta and olivia newton john 5. in the air tonight - phil collins 6.  the safety dance - men without hats 7. good vibrations - marky mark and the funky bunch 8. i’ll make a man out of you - mulan original soundtrack 9. carry on wayward son - kansas 10. ain’t no mountain high enough - diana ross 11. bye bye bye - ‘n sync 12. bennie and the jets - elton john 13. love shack - the b-52’s 14. respect - aretha franklin 15. blue (da ba dee) - eiffel 65 16. i dont wanna miss a thing - aerosmith 17. ice ice ice baby - vanilla ice 18. barbie girl - aqua 19. the final countdown - europe 20. tubthuming (i get knocked down) - chumbawamba  21. red red wine - ub40  22. (i just) died in your arms tonight - cutting crew 23. my girl - the temptations 24. a thousand miles - vanessa carlton 25. baby got back - sir mix a lot : cocoalou: fucking sing along!!! part TWO - another random assortment of songs that you kind of have to sing along to….. // listen  1. i would walk 500 miles - the proclaimers  2. total eclipse of my heart - bonnie tyler 3. come sail away - styx  4.  summer nights - john travolta and olivia newton john 5. in the air tonight - phil collins 6.  the safety dance - men without hats 7. good vibrations - marky mark and the funky bunch 8. i’ll make a man out of you - mulan original soundtrack 9. carry on wayward son - kansas 10. ain’t no mountain high enough - diana ross 11. bye bye bye - ‘n sync 12. bennie and the jets - elton john 13. love shack - the b-52’s 14. respect - aretha franklin 15. blue (da ba dee) - eiffel 65 16. i dont wanna miss a thing - aerosmith 17. ice ice ice baby - vanilla ice 18. barbie girl - aqua 19. the final countdown - europe 20. tubthuming (i get knocked down) - chumbawamba  21. red red wine - ub40  22. (i just) died in your arms tonight - cutting crew 23. my girl - the temptations 24. a thousand miles - vanessa carlton 25. baby got back - sir mix a lot
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