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Playing the Long Game: Judy Brown I've done something ingenious to wind up my Dad (which is basically my favourite holiday pastime). It begins ike this Judy Brown Some of you out there may recall that in 2016 Iplayed an excellent Christmas prank on my long-suffering Dad. It worked a treat. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h Replying to @mcjude Last year I decided to play the long game & didn't tamper with the confectionary: spooked by the year before, he would not touch a single Ferrero Rocher (which was great because he usually inhales them at 750mph) so there were Ferreros aplenty for the rest of us. I bided my Judy Brown @mcjude 7h And so, yesterday, home for Christmas and with the devil at my elbow, I embarked on my most audacious sprout prank yet. Judy Brown @mcjude-7h While he was out I dipped the sprouts in chocolate, rolled them in chopped hazelnuts, and did all I could to replicate the iconic Ferrerro. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h l re-wrapped and (this is crucial) re- sealed the box with its original tape and a tiny dab of glue. Then secreted it amongst a bag of tasty gifts from my Aunt and retired to watch from afar Judy Brown @mcjude 7h Last night he viewed them with suspiciorn when they came out the bag... but I was out all day, how could I have tampered with them? He abstained and they sat in the kitchen all night. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h This bright Christmas morning we were gathered round the tree, drinking tea and opening presents. Dad eyed the box. He quite likes a post-brekkie Ferrero. He approached. I hovered in the kitchen, careful not to spook him. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h And Lo! He opened. He EXAMINED. He unwrapped. He examined FURTHER Fears allayed, he popped the whole thing in his mouth. His face played a symphony of emotions: satisfaction, triumph, realisation, horror, disgust. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h I am still chuckling. I will all day long.I know his retribution will be swift and terrible, but no Christmas gift could be greater than this: seeing my Dad, despite his efforts to avoid it, unwittingly eat a raw sprout. Merry Christmas, one and all 9193 t457 9644 72,816 notes Playing the Long Game

Playing the Long Game

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Youre greeted by David Bowie. Not an imitation, not a resurrection, he just went back to his spaceship.: nitewrighter You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens' spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn't appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn't want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, "T look like your dad or whatever-is this form okay? Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn't pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me T have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda-do not be afraid.I come in peace. Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the Pegasus Nebula.' I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne The Rock Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders." "Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess Hatsune Miku' so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you." nineprotons It was decided that I would assume the form of your Mister Rogers in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind." gentlemanbones ...So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too? "No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave. Source nitewrighter 104,578 notes Youre greeted by David Bowie. Not an imitation, not a resurrection, he just went back to his spaceship.

Youre greeted by David Bowie. Not an imitation, not a resurrection, he just went back to his spaceship.

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Brothers I know your insecurities, I used to share them, I still do share some of them. I know that you not being able to provide for your family is one of them, that's why you hit the block... It's not your block though, a bank owns it. That bank takes money out of your community, it doesn't want to build it up for you. But let's talk about your relationships with women. Are they mutually beneficial, or are you just as sexist as the next man? Do you build her up or do you tear her down? Are you creating or are you destroying. Are you scared you will lose her, because you haven't stepped your game up like you promised? Do her a favour, please don't try to get her pregnant, so your child can keep her because you couldn't. Do you expect her to be a brilliant lover in bed, but have never slept with someone before you? Are you telling her what to wear, what not to wear... where to be and who to talk to? Don't project your insecurities on to her because you are cheating, but won't admit that you sleep with other women, because you are scared of what she might say. Be a man, stick up for her, be a role model to her as she is for you. Be the type of man you would want your daughter to be with. She receives enough oppression from other men and sexist systems. Don't be another oppressor, uplift her, fight for her, build with her if you are ready to, but if you aren't leave her alone and watch her grow from a distance, don't mess up her life because you aren't happy with yours. You shouldn't be a distraction, appreciate her and bless her, be her solution not her problem... chakabars: If you see a woman that has everything going for herself and you're not ready to add value to her life... just admire her from afar Please don't interrupt her greatness. chakabars Brothers I know your insecurities, I used to share them, I still do share some of them. I know that you not being able to provide for your family is one of them, that's why you hit the block... It's not your block though, a bank owns it. That bank takes money out of your community, it doesn't want to build it up for you. But let's talk about your relationships with women. Are they mutually beneficial, or are you just as sexist as the next man? Do you build her up or do you tear her down? Are you creating or are you destroying. Are you scared you will lose her, because you haven't stepped your game up like you promised? Do her a favour, please don't try to get her pregnant, so your child can keep her because you couldn't. Do you expect her to be a brilliant lover in bed, but have never slept with someone before you? Are you telling her what to wear, what not to wear... where to be and who to talk to? Don't project your insecurities on to her because you are cheating, but won't admit that you sleep with other women, because you are scared of what she might say. Be a man, stick up for her, be a role model to her as she is for you. Be the type of man you would want your daughter to be with. She receives enough oppression from other men and sexist systems. Don't be another oppressor, uplift her, fight for her, build with her if you are ready to, but if you aren't leave her alone and watch her grow from a distance, don't mess up her life because you aren't happy with yours. You shouldn't be a distraction, appreciate her and bless her, be her solution not her problem... chakabars

Brothers I know your insecurities, I used to share them, I still do share some of them. I know that you not being able to provide for you...

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Repost @borderangelsofficial: "Yesterday, while scouting for this Saturday’s Water Drop, we discovered something despicable. Something evil. We found 50 of the 53 life-saving water jugs put out only a month ago had been deliberately destroyed. By who, we don’t know. They could be racist anti-migrant vigilantes, an organized hate group, or rogue Border Patrol agents. Whoever they are, they slashed and smashed FIFTY jugs, most of them covered in volunteers’ sentimental messages to be read by migrants. For these hate-filled individuals, it was no small task. These jugs were spread across a wide stretch of territory, revealing just how determined they were. Given just how treacherous crossing the desert can be, each slashed and crushed jug could have made the difference between life and death. How many migrants in desperate need of water approached what from afar looked to be a life-saving oasis, and discovered this evil? Imagine how that would feel. First, imagine the euphoric sense of hope, knowing that you’ll survive and soon embrace the ones you cherish most, that you’ll escape poverty and find refuge from violence. Then imagine that newly found hope ripped away from you, knowing you’ll likely die, and that people in this country want exactly that. The perpetrators’ message was loud and clear: migrants OF COLOR are not just unwelcome, but they should die. This is only one of many hateful and possibly deadly actions taken upon our life-saving supplies. In each and every instance, as far as we're concerned, those responsible are complicit in the potential death of fellow human beings. That’s called murder. They are serious criminals, and in a just world, would be treated as such. We are not deterred by these acts. In fact, we have grown only more determined. For every one jug they destroy, we'll replace it with two more, and make our deposits less vulnerable to their racist sabotage. To take action in the fight to protect the greatest human right there is, the right to life, join us on our Water Drops every third Saturday. For more information on how to sign up, check our Facebook page for RSVP details at the beginning of every month. ": Some despicable people destroyed 50 life-saving water jugs that were put out in the dessert to save migrants' lives. C @borderangelsofficial ecumed Repost @borderangelsofficial: "Yesterday, while scouting for this Saturday’s Water Drop, we discovered something despicable. Something evil. We found 50 of the 53 life-saving water jugs put out only a month ago had been deliberately destroyed. By who, we don’t know. They could be racist anti-migrant vigilantes, an organized hate group, or rogue Border Patrol agents. Whoever they are, they slashed and smashed FIFTY jugs, most of them covered in volunteers’ sentimental messages to be read by migrants. For these hate-filled individuals, it was no small task. These jugs were spread across a wide stretch of territory, revealing just how determined they were. Given just how treacherous crossing the desert can be, each slashed and crushed jug could have made the difference between life and death. How many migrants in desperate need of water approached what from afar looked to be a life-saving oasis, and discovered this evil? Imagine how that would feel. First, imagine the euphoric sense of hope, knowing that you’ll survive and soon embrace the ones you cherish most, that you’ll escape poverty and find refuge from violence. Then imagine that newly found hope ripped away from you, knowing you’ll likely die, and that people in this country want exactly that. The perpetrators’ message was loud and clear: migrants OF COLOR are not just unwelcome, but they should die. This is only one of many hateful and possibly deadly actions taken upon our life-saving supplies. In each and every instance, as far as we're concerned, those responsible are complicit in the potential death of fellow human beings. That’s called murder. They are serious criminals, and in a just world, would be treated as such. We are not deterred by these acts. In fact, we have grown only more determined. For every one jug they destroy, we'll replace it with two more, and make our deposits less vulnerable to their racist sabotage. To take action in the fight to protect the greatest human right there is, the right to life, join us on our Water Drops every third Saturday. For more information on how to sign up, check our Facebook page for RSVP details at the beginning of every month. "

Repost @borderangelsofficial: "Yesterday, while scouting for this Saturday’s Water Drop, we discovered something despicable. Something ev...

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