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Apparently, Bones, and Christmas: ladyjanelly E yanethyrael tumblr Follow STILL ON PATROL I learned something new and horrifying today which is... that.. no submarine is ever considered "lost".there is apparently a tradition in the U.S. Navy that no submarine is ever lost. Those that go to sea and do not return are considered to be "still on patrol. There is a monument about this along a canal near here its... the worst thing I have ever seen. it says "STILL ON PATROL' in huge letters and then goes on to specify exactly how many WWIl submarine ghosts are STILL OUT THERE, ON PATROL (it is almost 2000 wwil submarine ghosts, ftr). Here is the text from it U.S. Navy Submarines paid heavily for their success in WWll. A total of 374 officers and 3131 men are still on board these 52 U.S. submarines still on patrol. THANKS A LOT, US、NAVY, FOR HAVING THIS TOTALLY NORMAL AND NOT AT ALL HORRIFYING TRADITION, AND TELLING ALL OF US ABOUT IT THANKS. THANK YOU anyway now my mother and I cannot stop saying STILL ON PATROL to each other in ominous tones of voice tharook There's definitely something ominous about that-the implication that, one day they will return from patrol thehoneybeewitch Actually, it's rather sweet. I don't know if this is common across the board, but my dad's friend is a radio op for subs launched off the east coast, and he always is excited for Christmas, because they go through the list of SoP subs and hail them, wishing them a merry Christmas and telling them they're remembered Imagine a country whose seamen never die, and whose submarines can't be destroyed...because no ones sure if they exist or not. No but imagine. It's Christmas. A black, rotting corridor in a forgotten submarine The sound of dripping water echoes coldly through the hull. You can't see very far down the corridor but then, a man appears, he's running, in a panic, but his footsteps make no noise. The spectral seaman dashes around the corner and slips through a rusty wall. He finds himself at the back of a crowd of his They part to let him through. He feels the weight of their hollow gaze as he reaches the coms station. Even after all these years a sickly green light glistens in the dark. The captain's skeleton lays a sharp hand on his shoulder and nods at him encouragingly, the light sliding over the bones of his skull. The ghost of the seaman steadies himself and slips his fingers into the dials of the radio, possessing it. It wails and screeches. A bombardment of static. And then silence. The deathly crew mates look at each other with worry with sadness, could this be the year where there is no voice in the dark? No memory of home? The phantasm of the sailor pushes his hand deeper into the workings of the radio, the signal static but warm and kind, echoes from the darkness, "Merry Christmas boys, we're all thinking of you here at home, have a good one A sepulchral tear wafts it's way down the seaman's face. The bony captain embraces him. The crew grin through rotten jaws, laughing silently in their joy They haven't forgotten us. They haven't forgotten. lears, and then a strong voice, distant with the I am completely on board with this. It's not horritying, it's heartwarming Personal story time: whenever I go to Field Museum's Egypt exhibit,I stop by the plaque at the entrance to the underground rooms. It has an English translation of a prayer to feed the dead, and a list of all the names they know of the mummies on display there.I always recite the prayer and read aloud the list of names. They wanted to live forever, to always have their souls fed and their names spoken. How would they feel about being behind glass, among strangers? Every little thing you can do to give respect for the dead is warranted I love the idea of lost subs still being on patrol. Though if you really want something ominous, let me say that the superstitious part of me wonders: why are they still on patrol? If they haven't been found, do they not consider their mission completed? What is it out there that they are protecting us from? There's been something in the water since we first learned to float on it. Not marine life, although there's more of that than we'll ever knoW. Not rocks and currents and sand bars and icebergs either, although they've all taken more than their share of human life But something deeper. Something Other. Something not natural. Sailors have always been superstitious. Not one of them described it right. You don't hear about it so much now that we don't lose ships anymore, really not like we did at the height of the sea trade when barely an inch of ocean floor didn't bear some wreck or other. And better ships and GPS and weather satellites have all played their part in that But we have protection now that we didn't before. They don't intertere with war and battle, even on behalf of what used to be their country, or with rocks and weather and human stupidity. Those are concerns for the living But the Other Things, the Things that shouldn't be there They can't get to us now without a tight. It's a fight They haven't won in a very long time As long as we remember them, as long as we call out to them-not very often just once a year will do- they will keep protecting us from the Things that go bump in the deep More than tifty submarines, Still On Patrol I love everything about this, but it's the last bit that made me say "okay now I'I reblog it. Source:pipistrellus 51,990 notes Best of tumblr: On sailors lost, but not forgotten

Best of tumblr: On sailors lost, but not forgotten

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Animals, Bad, and Blue Balls: hadanelith I'll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words "crucifix nail nipples" into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please? All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven't edited a single thing in months which isn't about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So l open the file and notice there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I'm not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm just editing one more vampire boner fest The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GirlT, Sue is Not Like Other Girls TM, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyTM for a boyfriend. We'll call him Dickhead Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except he's got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words hey stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it's about to get weirder Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True LoveM who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left youl He's been 'instinctively protecting her from rapists by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that's not fucking terrifying at all. Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she'd let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoidedl Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve. So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn't stop" This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be "god fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that l inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years When the magic al burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and its all a bit of a blur A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????lIlll and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME Sorry to bring this searing back into your lives fam, but I feel it's worth noting that people are tagging this as an"ancient relic" of tumblr text posts and how they're so happy they see this every year and like guys, I hate to tell you this, but uh, this post is only six months old. I posted in on March 3rd 2016. It only seems like years because every time you see it you age five years thebibliosphere #crucifix nail nipples rides immortal #10ng post #nstw 182,818 notes Aug 6th, 2016 I know its a long read but consider: CRUCIFIX NAIL NIPPLES
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Animals, Bad, and Blue Balls: thebibli adanel words "crucifix nail nipples" into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days WI ill ioin me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all wa l require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please? All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come is vampires Everything. I haven't edited a single thing in months which isn't about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and notice there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see l'm not quite dead inside yet so l carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm just editing one more The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GlM, Sue is has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyT for a boyfriend Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One but he loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is a Good GirlTM and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except he's got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words "hey stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll feel bad about in the morning, turns in dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it's about to get weirder g bitten on the Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He's been "instinctively protecting her from rapists" by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because at's not fucking terrifying Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she'd let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on ure If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn't stop This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be "god fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own sol people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years ace is in knowing t on When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with "a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started drinking an A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!lll!????Il and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because l stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME Worse than Twilightomg-humor.tumblr.com
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