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Being Alone, Animals, and Cute: uristmcdor It occurs to me that as much as "humans are the scary ones" fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly fhiendy or I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought Tm gonna ride on that thing And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling PUPPYT and initiating playful interaction with it And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest toughest alens out there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug 'enm Why' I dunno. I gotta hug 'emm And its ike the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly umanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why7 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? nseems to be the opposite Commander Just this morming a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the atack was to call the creature a "mean kitty" and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readly with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alen creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna 1 see what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these puppies" so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this. Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 00% cuter and more epic Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone So 1 hear that you've just recruited a human for your ship Yes, #'s the first time that Ive worked with these species, but they come highly recommended Say, you've worked with a few, what tps can you give me? I'd hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding f its avoidable The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised Wait, what? Tm serious Dont do it. Things Happen But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board? Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excelent innovators, and are psychologically very reslient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks, didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don't even get me started on that one ime with the Dunlip Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it As a pet A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup Dont leave your humans unsupervised uh,take that under advisement Senousily Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond wilth or they will make their own I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway but without any permanent pets they can get.. creative Dont even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we finaly caught the wretched thing hailt the humans on crew tried to revolt about us "killing Stabby by removing the knfe How how did you resolve that si Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead Quite a creative solution, I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spings to both and held mock battles Then decided Stabby and Knfey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage ights between them any more So if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets ? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic pet shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners? Yes.. You don't sound very reassuring Well. You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their pets is actualy what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider 'safe OK..I am getting a little nervous about this No, no its fine, I'm just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to describe the creature before they get t For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was What happened? Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My enire crew was temified of it, it was agle and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its beans' as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it's deady claws while saying, and I quote. look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kils things, isnt it Cute? Seriousty? I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel better with these stories everythingtromdust Source radioactivepeasant 28,157 notes Jan 11h 2017 HFY

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Brains, College, and Comfortable: arcticfoxbear Humans Are Weird So there has been a bit of what if humans were the weird ones?" going around tumbir at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking Earth is a wonky place, the axis tits, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What it what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? what if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all SCOREI Earth like worldl Lets get exploring before we get out competear And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and et, electrid storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just there. counting seconds between riashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a humans are awesome fiction megapost you don't know you're from a Death World until you leave it" For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australa crazy-pages Alen: "Tm sorry what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is? Human-H0ถesty we can tolerate anywhere from-40 to 50 Celcius but we prefer the 0 to 30 range AlienI'm sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing? Human: "Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bt nippy Other human Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least. Human: Heh Alilen And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, hair way to bolling?" Human: Eugh Yes it sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god helip you it you Yeah everybody knows someone like that touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes Aen We've got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy val tashoth Youre telling me that you have. settiements On islands with active volcanism? well yeah i'm not about to tell Iceland and Hawail how to live their lives Actually, it's kind of a tourist attraction What, the moften rock? Well yeahl It's not every day you see a mountain spew out iquid rocks! The best one is Yelowstone, though All these hot springs and geysers from the YOU ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES? Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them. Sounds like the "Damned trlogy by Alan Dean Foster the-grand author And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chit? Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about Amazingl when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures? well, actually what? ..what?" we sent no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent.. HUMANS. to a place one hundred degrees below treezing? y-yeah and they didnt. die? Well the first few did PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE32212121 But surely you have records of volcanic activity doing tremendous damage to human settlements Yep. Pompeii is legendary. Entire cities went Towns buried under lava, peoples brains boiled in the first rush of heat, loads more kißed by falling ah, good, they learned their lesson and didn't build there again wel Are you serniously telling me this volcano is legendary for kiling several urban conurbations and you built on top of it AGAIN? In our defence it hasn't actually done it since What about earthquake-prone areas? Tell me you're at least vaguely sensibile about those Oh yeah After the first major earthquake that flattens a city, we budd them better 159.505 notes Humans are wierd
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Af, Being Alone, and Animals: utistmcdorf bekatddals tadicactivepeasant It occurs to me that as much as humans are the scary ones fits sometimes, you look at it another way, humans might seem like the abeurdy friendly or I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of king someone if it has to, and thought Im gonna ride on that thing!? And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling 'PUPPYr and intiating playtul interaction wih it And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything ese and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger trends Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest alens out there and say Heck with it. I'm gonna hug em Why "I dunno. I gotta hug 'em And it's ike the frst friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why2 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? It seems to be the opposite Commander Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentifed feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a mean kitty and vow to win aver Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside ther species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen belore simply because it appears distressed I hate to say ths commander but we must install a ule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna isee what you mean So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown aninals without permission from a supericr oficer And send a message to supplies about acquining one of these puppies so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hel outtia thet rule whenever alone So I hear that youve just recruited a human for your ship Yes, it's the first time that I've worked with these species, but they come highly recommended Say, you've worked with a few, what ips can you give me? l'd hate to have some kind of cutura misunderstanding i ts avoidable The first rule of working wth humans is never leave mem unsupervised Wait, what? 1m serious Dont do it Things, Happen But wan, I thought that I heard you highly one on board? that every crew should have at least Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent innovators, and are psychologicaly very resient If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ablity to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks, didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anying It you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer kuck that the Fanzorans thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him. Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingy good sense of humour But dont even get me started on that one time with the Dunlip. Al Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet. A Dunip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup. Don't leave your hwmans unsupervised uh,take that under advisement Seriousy Gef a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they wil make their own I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get creative Dont even gat me started on the time one of them taped a kie to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we Enally caught the wreiched thing haf the humans on crew tried to revolt about us "kiling Stabby by removing the knife How how did you resolve that si? Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative soluton, I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? "They thought and held mock batties Then decided Stabby and Knitey were in love and now none af them will alow the others to stage ights between them any more was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on spmgs to both So, if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they wll behave better when on other planets? Where do 1 get safe bonding pels? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic 'pet shop as they call t, the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any krife welding auto-cleaners? You dont sound very reassuring Wel You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about ther pets is actually what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider safe OK Iam getting a little nervous about this. No, no, it's fine, Im just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to descrièe the creature belore they get it For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking wial it was What happened? Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed felne creature called a Savannah Cat. My entre crew was terrifled of it, it was agie and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of t. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze its beans' as they said,forcing the creatures claws out and then they would show people it's deadly claws while saying, and I quote, look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kills things, isn't it cute? Seriousty I have also heard stories from ther crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sieep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel belter with these stanes everythingomdus Source radoaclivepensan 8,157 notes an 2017 Sometimes you just gotta hug stuff

Sometimes you just gotta hug stuff

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