💩  Poop Meme

🌀  Tide Pods Meme

☔️  Raindrop Drop Top Memes

🌅  Good Morning Memes

👨‍🦳  Joe Biden Memes

🤔  Roll Safe Meme

amid Memes

Glassed
Glassed
Thats Great
Thats Great
decor
decor
a little bit
a little bit
five years
five years
too young
too young
mumbles
mumbles
again
again
wand
wand
limo
limo 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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                            Third Amendment memes are having a moment after the national guard was deployed amid ...
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                        
                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            Kim Jong Un memes flood social media amid rumors of his death
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        larissaloki:

thatpettyblackgirl:


The AP is fucking pathetic.
And fuck those astronomers and their telescope.


I can definitely sympathize with any native trying to fight for their land.💯Keep fighting folks✊🏽


I’m all for space stuff but just because you think so so location is a good place to build, doesn’t mean that place isn’t important to others. If locals say no, look elsewhere. 


Fuck those scientists : AP West Region
 AP @APWest Region
 Astronomers say they've missed
 more than 2,000 hours of
 observations on Hawaii's tallest
 mountain as Native Hawaiian
 protesters block construction of a
 new telescope on a
 peak they
 consider sacred.
 Amid protest, Hawaii astronomers lose observation
 time
 apnews.com
 11:36 AM Aug 10, 2019 SocialFlow

 salt, fat, acid, yeet
 @hermit_hwarang
 Well Native Hawaiians have missed
 more than 120 years of
 independence so too bad
 AP AP West Region
 @APWestRegion Aug 10
 Astronomers say they've missed more than 2,000
 hours of observations on Hawaii's tallest mountain
 as Native Hawaiian protesters block construction of
 a new telescope on a peak they consider sacred.
 apne.ws/diROfAz
 4:08 AM Aug 12, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 47.5K Likes
 14.8K Retweets
larissaloki:

thatpettyblackgirl:


The AP is fucking pathetic.
And fuck those astronomers and their telescope.


I can definitely sympathize with any native trying to fight for their land.💯Keep fighting folks✊🏽


I’m all for space stuff but just because you think so so location is a good place to build, doesn’t mean that place isn’t important to others. If locals say no, look elsewhere. 


Fuck those scientists 
        

            
            

                
                
                    larissaloki:

thatpettyblackgirl:


The AP is fucking pathetic.
And fuck those astronomers and their telescope.


I can definitely sympathize with any native trying to fight for their land.💯Keep fighting folks✊🏽


I’m all for space stuff but just because you think so so location is a good place to build, doesn’t mean that place isn’t important to others. If locals say no, look elsewhere. 


Fuck those scientists : AP West Region
 AP @APWest Region
 Astronomers say they've missed
 more than 2,000 hours of
 observations on Hawaii's tallest
 mountain as Native Hawaiian
 protesters block construction of a
 new telescope on a
 peak they
 consider sacred.
 Amid protest, Hawaii astronomers lose observation
 time
 apnews.com
 11:36 AM Aug 10, 2019 SocialFlow

 salt, fat, acid, yeet
 @hermit_hwarang
 Well Native Hawaiians have missed
 more than 120 years of
 independence so too bad
 AP AP West Region
 @APWestRegion Aug 10
 Astronomers say they've missed more than 2,000
 hours of observations on Hawaii's tallest mountain
 as Native Hawaiian protesters block construction of
 a new telescope on a peak they consider sacred.
 apne.ws/diROfAz
 4:08 AM Aug 12, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 47.5K Likes
 14.8K Retweets
larissaloki:

thatpettyblackgirl:


The AP is fucking pathetic.
And fuck those astronomers and their telescope.


I can definitely sympathize with any native trying to fight for their land.💯Keep fighting folks✊🏽


I’m all for space stuff but just because you think so so location is a good place to build, doesn’t mean that place isn’t important to others. If locals say no, look elsewhere. 


Fuck those scientists 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        judgingeternity:
someoneintheshadow456:

judgingeternity:


lastsonlost:

jonthegamerguru:

switch-up-snowfox:

gamergate-news:

“Mercedes Carrera” 

And on the original one i’ll take “shit that never happened” for five hundred alex.

Also weren’t like some of the biggest anti gamergate people eventually outed as like, borderline sexual harassers?

Yop
#GamerGate News
And that was just a few of them.

What was the name of that one individual who was outed for her pedophile fetishism and anti-GG'ers showed her support by sharing images of their own kids?


Sarah Nyberg 

That was the one, thanks!


: Brianna Wu @BriannaWu 6h
 Wow, just got a really nice long message from a former Gamergater.
 She apologized for harassing me, told me she had just come out of the closet
 and contributed to my campaign because of my strong stance on LGBT rights.
 Really great way to start a weekend.
 17
 t 46
 933
 Mechanical kiwi @kiwimech 6h
 There was female gamergaters?!??!
 1
 1
 Brianna Wu
 Follow
 @BriannaWu
 Replying to @kiwimech
 A few. One is in prison right
 of child rape.
 now on charges
 The Gamergate Porn Star Accused of Child Rape
 Adult film actress Mercedes Carrera was at the forefront of Gamergate, and contantly
 branded people pedophiles' online. Then she was arrested for child rape.
 thedailybeast.com
 26 Apr 2019
 9:54 PM
 9 Likes
 2
judgingeternity:
someoneintheshadow456:

judgingeternity:


lastsonlost:

jonthegamerguru:

switch-up-snowfox:

gamergate-news:

“Mercedes Carrera” 

And on the original one i’ll take “shit that never happened” for five hundred alex.

Also weren’t like some of the biggest anti gamergate people eventually outed as like, borderline sexual harassers?

Yop
#GamerGate News
And that was just a few of them.

What was the name of that one individual who was outed for her pedophile fetishism and anti-GG'ers showed her support by sharing images of their own kids?


Sarah Nyberg 

That was the one, thanks!



        

            
            

                
                
                    judgingeternity:
someoneintheshadow456:

judgingeternity:


lastsonlost:

jonthegamerguru:

switch-up-snowfox:

gamergate-news:

“Mercedes Carrera” 

And on the original one i’ll take “shit that never happened” for five hundred alex.

Also weren’t like some of the biggest anti gamergate people eventually outed as like, borderline sexual harassers?

Yop
#GamerGate News
And that was just a few of them.

What was the name of that one individual who was outed for her pedophile fetishism and anti-GG'ers showed her support by sharing images of their own kids?


Sarah Nyberg 

That was the one, thanks!


: Brianna Wu @BriannaWu 6h
 Wow, just got a really nice long message from a former Gamergater.
 She apologized for harassing me, told me she had just come out of the closet
 and contributed to my campaign because of my strong stance on LGBT rights.
 Really great way to start a weekend.
 17
 t 46
 933
 Mechanical kiwi @kiwimech 6h
 There was female gamergaters?!??!
 1
 1
 Brianna Wu
 Follow
 @BriannaWu
 Replying to @kiwimech
 A few. One is in prison right
 of child rape.
 now on charges
 The Gamergate Porn Star Accused of Child Rape
 Adult film actress Mercedes Carrera was at the forefront of Gamergate, and contantly
 branded people pedophiles' online. Then she was arrested for child rape.
 thedailybeast.com
 26 Apr 2019
 9:54 PM
 9 Likes
 2
judgingeternity:
someoneintheshadow456:

judgingeternity:


lastsonlost:

jonthegamerguru:

switch-up-snowfox:

gamergate-news:

“Mercedes Carrera” 

And on the original one i’ll take “shit that never happened” for five hundred alex.

Also weren’t like some of the biggest anti gamergate people eventually outed as like, borderline sexual harassers?

Yop
#GamerGate News
And that was just a few of them.

What was the name of that one individual who was outed for her pedophile fetishism and anti-GG'ers showed her support by sharing images of their own kids?


Sarah Nyberg 

That was the one, thanks!



                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        fictional-sailor:
sgtgrunt0331:

muppetz540:
Professional Grass Growers save little girl from Kill Zone

This guy has nuts the size of wrecking balls! Well done sir! Rah!

From an article on Business Insider 

David Eubank, a Special Forces soldier turned aid worker, was filmed as he ran out in the open amid ISIS sniper fire to rescue the girl as two other men covered him with rifle fire.
“I thought, ‘If I die doing this, my wife and kids would understand,’” Eubank told the Los Angeles Times.
According to the Times, Eubank’s dramatic rescue played out on a street in the Iraqi city of Mosul, where ISIS snipers were firing at civilians who were attempting to flee. Wearing only a T-shirt, a bulletproof vest, and a helmet, Eubank is seen running out into the street approximately 150 yards before picking up the girl and bringing her back safely behind a tank.
Eubank, 56, served for a decade with the US Army Special Forces. After leaving the military, he founded an aid group called the Free Burma Rangers, which seeks to bring “hope and love to people in the conflict zones of Burma, Iraq, and Sudan,” according to its website.



: YRgif
fictional-sailor:
sgtgrunt0331:

muppetz540:
Professional Grass Growers save little girl from Kill Zone

This guy has nuts the size of wrecking balls! Well done sir! Rah!

From an article on Business Insider 

David Eubank, a Special Forces soldier turned aid worker, was filmed as he ran out in the open amid ISIS sniper fire to rescue the girl as two other men covered him with rifle fire.
“I thought, ‘If I die doing this, my wife and kids would understand,’” Eubank told the Los Angeles Times.
According to the Times, Eubank’s dramatic rescue played out on a street in the Iraqi city of Mosul, where ISIS snipers were firing at civilians who were attempting to flee. Wearing only a T-shirt, a bulletproof vest, and a helmet, Eubank is seen running out into the street approximately 150 yards before picking up the girl and bringing her back safely behind a tank.
Eubank, 56, served for a decade with the US Army Special Forces. After leaving the military, he founded an aid group called the Free Burma Rangers, which seeks to bring “hope and love to people in the conflict zones of Burma, Iraq, and Sudan,” according to its website.




        

            
            

                
                
                    fictional-sailor:
sgtgrunt0331:

muppetz540:
Professional Grass Growers save little girl from Kill Zone

This guy has nuts the size of wrecking balls! Well done sir! Rah!

From an article on Business Insider 

David Eubank, a Special Forces soldier turned aid worker, was filmed as he ran out in the open amid ISIS sniper fire to rescue the girl as two other men covered him with rifle fire.
“I thought, ‘If I die doing this, my wife and kids would understand,’” Eubank told the Los Angeles Times.
According to the Times, Eubank’s dramatic rescue played out on a street in the Iraqi city of Mosul, where ISIS snipers were firing at civilians who were attempting to flee. Wearing only a T-shirt, a bulletproof vest, and a helmet, Eubank is seen running out into the street approximately 150 yards before picking up the girl and bringing her back safely behind a tank.
Eubank, 56, served for a decade with the US Army Special Forces. After leaving the military, he founded an aid group called the Free Burma Rangers, which seeks to bring “hope and love to people in the conflict zones of Burma, Iraq, and Sudan,” according to its website.



: YRgif
fictional-sailor:
sgtgrunt0331:

muppetz540:
Professional Grass Growers save little girl from Kill Zone

This guy has nuts the size of wrecking balls! Well done sir! Rah!

From an article on Business Insider 

David Eubank, a Special Forces soldier turned aid worker, was filmed as he ran out in the open amid ISIS sniper fire to rescue the girl as two other men covered him with rifle fire.
“I thought, ‘If I die doing this, my wife and kids would understand,’” Eubank told the Los Angeles Times.
According to the Times, Eubank’s dramatic rescue played out on a street in the Iraqi city of Mosul, where ISIS snipers were firing at civilians who were attempting to flee. Wearing only a T-shirt, a bulletproof vest, and a helmet, Eubank is seen running out into the street approximately 150 yards before picking up the girl and bringing her back safely behind a tank.
Eubank, 56, served for a decade with the US Army Special Forces. After leaving the military, he founded an aid group called the Free Burma Rangers, which seeks to bring “hope and love to people in the conflict zones of Burma, Iraq, and Sudan,” according to its website.




                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        I'm angry. Very fucking angry. I confess I loved the DC movies more than Marvel. I love The man of steel and the extended version of BVS. But after all the fucking mistakes, I've reconsidered my fanaticism. On the one hand, Henry is right to leave. HE realized that there in the company just don't know what to do, and they start doing shit. Now DC is just a fucking clone of marvel with humor and a simple plot. Because Warners thinks this is the key to the success of films from Marvel. I don't believe that grown-up businessmen didn't get the gist of marvel building their universe very subtly brick by brick, and they didn't put everyone together in one movie at once like DC in JL. The funny thing is that the last appearance of Henry in the role of Superman took place in the"Justice, trash, League". Your thoughts? -⠀ Follow @cinfacts for more facts: DCEU NEWS
 Follow
 ONEMA
 ACIS @cinfacts
 for more content
 HENRY CAVILL OUT AS SUPERMAN AMID WARNER BROS.' DC
 UNIVERSE SHAKE-UP. TALKS BROKE DOWN FOR A CAMEO IN
 SHAZAM! DUE TO SCHEDULING CONFLICTS, AND THE DOOR
 IS NOW CLOSING ON OTHER POTENTIAL APPEARANCES FOR
 THE ACTOR.
I'm angry. Very fucking angry. I confess I loved the DC movies more than Marvel. I love The man of steel and the extended version of BVS. But after all the fucking mistakes, I've reconsidered my fanaticism. On the one hand, Henry is right to leave. HE realized that there in the company just don't know what to do, and they start doing shit. Now DC is just a fucking clone of marvel with humor and a simple plot. Because Warners thinks this is the key to the success of films from Marvel. I don't believe that grown-up businessmen didn't get the gist of marvel building their universe very subtly brick by brick, and they didn't put everyone together in one movie at once like DC in JL. The funny thing is that the last appearance of Henry in the role of Superman took place in the"Justice, trash, League". Your thoughts? -⠀ Follow @cinfacts for more facts
        

            
            

                
                
                    I'm angry. Very fucking angry. I confess I loved the DC movies more than Marvel. I love The man of steel and the extended version of BVS. But after all the fucking mistakes, I've reconsidered my fanaticism. On the one hand, Henry is right to leave. HE realized that there in the company just don't know what to do, and they start doing shit. Now DC is just a fucking clone of marvel with humor and a simple plot. Because Warners thinks this is the key to the success of films from Marvel. I don't believe that grown-up businessmen didn't get the gist of marvel building their universe very subtly brick by brick, and they didn't put everyone together in one movie at once like DC in JL. The funny thing is that the last appearance of Henry in the role of Superman took place in the"Justice, trash, League". Your thoughts? -⠀ Follow @cinfacts for more facts: DCEU NEWS
 Follow
 ONEMA
 ACIS @cinfacts
 for more content
 HENRY CAVILL OUT AS SUPERMAN AMID WARNER BROS.' DC
 UNIVERSE SHAKE-UP. TALKS BROKE DOWN FOR A CAMEO IN
 SHAZAM! DUE TO SCHEDULING CONFLICTS, AND THE DOOR
 IS NOW CLOSING ON OTHER POTENTIAL APPEARANCES FOR
 THE ACTOR.
I'm angry. Very fucking angry. I confess I loved the DC movies more than Marvel. I love The man of steel and the extended version of BVS. But after all the fucking mistakes, I've reconsidered my fanaticism. On the one hand, Henry is right to leave. HE realized that there in the company just don't know what to do, and they start doing shit. Now DC is just a fucking clone of marvel with humor and a simple plot. Because Warners thinks this is the key to the success of films from Marvel. I don't believe that grown-up businessmen didn't get the gist of marvel building their universe very subtly brick by brick, and they didn't put everyone together in one movie at once like DC in JL. The funny thing is that the last appearance of Henry in the role of Superman took place in the"Justice, trash, League". Your thoughts? -⠀ Follow @cinfacts for more facts
                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        wig-supplies-and-more:
New info sharing video from Amid Beauty!
Discover the Main Differences Between Hair Systems Created with Thin Skin Wig Foundation and French Lace
French Lace wig base is vastly used
simply because it is very economical.  It
is typically flesh colored and thin.  The
lace foundation is comprised mostly of very small holes which make it
breathable.  Hair is ventilated directly
into the wig foundation implementing single, split and double knots.

Thin skin closely resembles
your scalp.  When ventilated by a
knowledgeable wigmaker, the hair will appear as though it is growing directly
from the head.  Thin skin foundation can
be found in a clear, transparent finish, however you may request special
coloring if that is your preference.  
: SKIN FRENCH
 CAP
 LACE
wig-supplies-and-more:
New info sharing video from Amid Beauty!
Discover the Main Differences Between Hair Systems Created with Thin Skin Wig Foundation and French Lace
French Lace wig base is vastly used
simply because it is very economical.  It
is typically flesh colored and thin.  The
lace foundation is comprised mostly of very small holes which make it
breathable.  Hair is ventilated directly
into the wig foundation implementing single, split and double knots.

Thin skin closely resembles
your scalp.  When ventilated by a
knowledgeable wigmaker, the hair will appear as though it is growing directly
from the head.  Thin skin foundation can
be found in a clear, transparent finish, however you may request special
coloring if that is your preference.  

        

            
            

                
                
                    wig-supplies-and-more:
New info sharing video from Amid Beauty!
Discover the Main Differences Between Hair Systems Created with Thin Skin Wig Foundation and French Lace
French Lace wig base is vastly used
simply because it is very economical.  It
is typically flesh colored and thin.  The
lace foundation is comprised mostly of very small holes which make it
breathable.  Hair is ventilated directly
into the wig foundation implementing single, split and double knots.

Thin skin closely resembles
your scalp.  When ventilated by a
knowledgeable wigmaker, the hair will appear as though it is growing directly
from the head.  Thin skin foundation can
be found in a clear, transparent finish, however you may request special
coloring if that is your preference.  
: SKIN FRENCH
 CAP
 LACE
wig-supplies-and-more:
New info sharing video from Amid Beauty!
Discover the Main Differences Between Hair Systems Created with Thin Skin Wig Foundation and French Lace
French Lace wig base is vastly used
simply because it is very economical.  It
is typically flesh colored and thin.  The
lace foundation is comprised mostly of very small holes which make it
breathable.  Hair is ventilated directly
into the wig foundation implementing single, split and double knots.

Thin skin closely resembles
your scalp.  When ventilated by a
knowledgeable wigmaker, the hair will appear as though it is growing directly
from the head.  Thin skin foundation can
be found in a clear, transparent finish, however you may request special
coloring if that is your preference.  

                    
                
            

            
                
                
wig-supplies-and-more:
New info sharing video from Amid Beauty!
Discover the Main Differences Between Hair Systems Created with Thin Skin...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
        

            
            

                
                
                    deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        video-games-girls-play-to:

all assassin’s creed odyssey pages scans (from the official playstation uk magazine august 2018): oving events to
 rights, and maybe discover the
 conversation string affecting the
 world over time. Then we head
 to the beach to confront our
 truth about your mysterious past.
 Odyssey looks set to Origins, with a skew towards more
 some bold new directions. The people off cliffs, but with additions
 sandals of an outcast mercenary how characters behave around you,
 This could feel very similar to
 take the series insea warfare and 300-kicking
 larger fights will feature up to 300
 characters in a battle, just like a
 famous movie. Amid the chaos
 we spot our target and enter some
 Origins-like combat, with dodges,
 parries, and strikes offering a
 tactical skirmish. We also see
 the Spartan-kick in action as
 Kassandra smashes her foe in the
 gut, sending him falling backwards.
 There's a neat parry move too,
 where she can disarm her enemy,
 flipping his shield skywards.
 setup sees you slip into the
 like dialogue choices that affect
 playing as either Alexios or
 Ubisoft is slowly adding more
 Kassandra - on a journey from complexity to its RPG-lite ideas.
 coun ar
 tactical
 scoundrel to Spartan warrior
 Ahead of you lays a whole lot of SOCRATIC QUESTIONING human history- Periods n
 collectibles, the entirety of Greece In the E3 demo we see much of
 what's new play out, first with
 Kassandra engaging in wordpla
 building a guild to set the world to with Socrates, our choices in the
 explore, and maybe an olive
 branch or two as you set about
 While on the surface it shares a
 lot with Origins, scratch deeper
 and this adventure has many
 features we've not seen before in
 Assassin's Creed - it could well
 be this generation's Black Flag.
 THIS ADVENTURE HAS MANY
 FEATURES WE'VE NOT SEEN
 BEFORE IN ASSASSIN'S CREED

 ion
 BEST
 SANDBOX
 E3 SHOWFLOOR VERDICT
 Assassin's Creed go next? Turns
 out Ubisoft is taking us to Ancient
 Alexios or Kassandra (your
 choice of gender doesn't affect
 the story), you get caught up in
 And if Origins' map was big,
 Odyssey's is bigger still, covering
 chunks of the mainland. Ubisoft
 promises hundred of quests' will
 be available, and there's certainly
 the space for them. There's evern
 scope for naval battles on the
 open seas. This sandbox is so big.
 you could well get lost in it.
 ASSASSIN'S CREED
 ODYSSEY
 Format PS4 ETA 5 0ct Pub Ubisoft Dev Ubisoft Montreal
video-games-girls-play-to:

all assassin’s creed odyssey pages scans (from the official playstation uk magazine august 2018)
        

            
            

                
                
                    video-games-girls-play-to:

all assassin’s creed odyssey pages scans (from the official playstation uk magazine august 2018): oving events to
 rights, and maybe discover the
 conversation string affecting the
 world over time. Then we head
 to the beach to confront our
 truth about your mysterious past.
 Odyssey looks set to Origins, with a skew towards more
 some bold new directions. The people off cliffs, but with additions
 sandals of an outcast mercenary how characters behave around you,
 This could feel very similar to
 take the series insea warfare and 300-kicking
 larger fights will feature up to 300
 characters in a battle, just like a
 famous movie. Amid the chaos
 we spot our target and enter some
 Origins-like combat, with dodges,
 parries, and strikes offering a
 tactical skirmish. We also see
 the Spartan-kick in action as
 Kassandra smashes her foe in the
 gut, sending him falling backwards.
 There's a neat parry move too,
 where she can disarm her enemy,
 flipping his shield skywards.
 setup sees you slip into the
 like dialogue choices that affect
 playing as either Alexios or
 Ubisoft is slowly adding more
 Kassandra - on a journey from complexity to its RPG-lite ideas.
 coun ar
 tactical
 scoundrel to Spartan warrior
 Ahead of you lays a whole lot of SOCRATIC QUESTIONING human history- Periods n
 collectibles, the entirety of Greece In the E3 demo we see much of
 what's new play out, first with
 Kassandra engaging in wordpla
 building a guild to set the world to with Socrates, our choices in the
 explore, and maybe an olive
 branch or two as you set about
 While on the surface it shares a
 lot with Origins, scratch deeper
 and this adventure has many
 features we've not seen before in
 Assassin's Creed - it could well
 be this generation's Black Flag.
 THIS ADVENTURE HAS MANY
 FEATURES WE'VE NOT SEEN
 BEFORE IN ASSASSIN'S CREED

 ion
 BEST
 SANDBOX
 E3 SHOWFLOOR VERDICT
 Assassin's Creed go next? Turns
 out Ubisoft is taking us to Ancient
 Alexios or Kassandra (your
 choice of gender doesn't affect
 the story), you get caught up in
 And if Origins' map was big,
 Odyssey's is bigger still, covering
 chunks of the mainland. Ubisoft
 promises hundred of quests' will
 be available, and there's certainly
 the space for them. There's evern
 scope for naval battles on the
 open seas. This sandbox is so big.
 you could well get lost in it.
 ASSASSIN'S CREED
 ODYSSEY
 Format PS4 ETA 5 0ct Pub Ubisoft Dev Ubisoft Montreal
video-games-girls-play-to:

all assassin’s creed odyssey pages scans (from the official playstation uk magazine august 2018)
                    
                
            

            
                
                
video-games-girls-play-to:

all assassin’s creed odyssey pages scans (from the official playstation uk magazine august 2018)

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    


    
	

        
	

    




                    

                

                

                    




    

        
        

            
            

              
            

        

        
        
        

            

            
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    'Nero' Trends After Trump Shares Ominous Meme Of Himself Fiddling Amid Chaos
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    Amid Jokes and Memes, Regina Duarte Assumes Role as Secretary of Culture
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    Amid Jokes and Memes, Regina Duarte Assumes Role as Secretary of Culture Culture