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Hello, Internet, and Ironic: TYPOGRAPHICAL TONE OF VOICE 145 when did tumblr collectively decide not to use unctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing it iust looks so smooth I mean look at this sentence flow like a jungle river The popularity of this and similar posts both confirms that the describing a phenomenon widely recognized by fellow posters were neers and helped acculturate new users into the norms of the plat- form, such as signaling that a question is rhetorical or ironic by ask- ing it without a question mark. Ruhl cites another self-referential, widely shared, multiauthored post, this time from 2016. At first glance, it seems like it's primarily emphasis, but those examples example of different kinds of an interspersed in a neutral, minimal- are ist carrier sentence: i think it's really Cool how there are so many ways to express emphasis Completely different it's #wild TM on tumblr and they're all. #EmphasisTM WHAT HAVE YOU DONE The hashtagged, initial-capped, space-stretched, trademarked HEmphasisTM is a break in the system: it's got too many things ng on at once to be interpretable as more than a joke. But the reply all-capped WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, is simultaneously emphatic and minimalist: it signals strong feeling from the all caps and a rhe- torical question from the question syntax without a question mark. lumblr users were pography, but it wasn't just a Tumblr thing: it also started flourishing particularly self-reflexive about minimalist ty- allthingslinguistic: hi hello alert so that classic tumblr flowing jungle river post is now cited in a real book like an actual paper book and it’s called because internet and it’s all about the evolution of internet language and how TUMBLR DID THE THING and you can get it here

allthingslinguistic: hi hello alert so that classic tumblr flowing jungle river post is now cited in a real book like an actual paper book ...

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Drinking, Drunk, and Food: Jennifer Dziura I've responded to this elsewhere around the Internet. Men who offer to buy women drinks are often intending to purchase a lowering of the woman's defenses. If you are a woman in a bar and a man offers to buy you a this: cheerfully ask for something nonalcoholic, while indicating get to know the guy. At least 50% of men will be angry. They weren't offering a gift or just trying to strike up conversation: they wanted you to be drunk and to let down your guard. In my own experience, I have twice been offered a drink and instead suggested food -- in both cases, very inexpensive food costing the same or less than a drink drink, try willingness to a and in both -- cases, the man responded angrily. 2 minutes ago Like Reply Jennifer Dziura In one case, I met a guy at a concert.I liked him. He suggested going to get a drink, but I was starving and suggested the kebab place around the corner. I can't remember who paid, but I had a cheap bowl of soup and the guy pouted and I never saw him again. The other time, I had done standup in a bar and an older guy offered to buy me a drink. I said I actually would love some popcorn, which was sold **at the bar for $2.** The man got angry and acted like I had cheated him somehow. being greek-god-of-hair: erwin-with-hairpins: rainfelt: cardozzza: notyourexrotic: (source) Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious Scary, scary. Gonna add on to this:From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her. But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So: Tips for getting drinks- 1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser. 2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time. 3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol: Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail: X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state. Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%. Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%. Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21% Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%. Hope this helps someone out! Backing this up from years of bar tending.
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Bad, Girls, and Internet: Hot Take: Kim Kardashian Is Being Offensive On Purpose MOST READ Pervert Tries to Sexualize Billie Eilish, Twitter Takes Him Down 5 Women on What It's Like to Be Raped by a Boyfriend Anders Holm and Emma Nesper Are Perhaps The Cutest Couple Ever 'Good Girls': Loving Beth and Rio's Relationship Makes Me Feel Like a Bad Feminist J.K. Rowling Has Been Following Anti-Trans Activists And We Need an Explanation femestella: Kim Kardashian recently filed a trademark for the name of her new shapewear line and — shocker — it’s incredibly offensive. The line is going to be called Kimono, you know, as in the traditional Japanese garment.  Kim responded to the backlash but didn’t actually apologize. This is pretty much the Kardashian-Jenner M.O.: do something offensive, respond without an actual apology, and then go about their merry way. We’ve seen it time and time again with Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi ad (she still hasn’t technically apologized), Kim’s blackface, and Kylie’s *numerous* instances of cultural appropriation. And that doesn’t even begin to cover it all. The strange thing is that each time a KarJenner pulls a stunt like this, the internet reacts with shock and awe all over again as if they’re surprised by the behavior. It seems pretty obvious though: the KarJenners are doing it on purpose. Continue reading here.

femestella: Kim Kardashian recently filed a trademark for the name of her new shapewear line and — shocker — it’s incredibly offensive. The ...

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Bad, Girls, and Internet: Hot Take: Kim Kardashian Is Being Offensive On Purpose MOST READ Pervert Tries to Sexualize Billie Eilish, Twitter Takes Him Down 5 Women on What It's Like to Be Raped by a Boyfriend Anders Holm and Emma Nesper Are Perhaps The Cutest Couple Ever 'Good Girls': Loving Beth and Rio's Relationship Makes Me Feel Like a Bad Feminist J.K. Rowling Has Been Following Anti-Trans Activists And We Need an Explanation Kim Kardashian recently filed a trademark for the name of her new shapewear line and — shocker — it’s incredibly offensive.The line is going to be called Kimono, you know, as in the traditional Japanese garment. Kim responded to the backlash but didn’t actually apologize.This is pretty much the Kardashian-Jenner M.O.: do something offensive, respond without an actual apology, and then go about their merry way.We’ve seen it time and time again with Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi ad (she still hasn’t technically apologized), Kim’s blackface, and Kylie’s *numerous* instances of cultural appropriation. And that doesn’t even begin to cover it all.The strange thing is that each time a KarJenner pulls a stunt like this, the internet reacts with shock and awe all over again as if they’re surprised by the behavior.It seems pretty obvious though: the KarJenners are doing it on purpose.Continue reading here.

Kim Kardashian recently filed a trademark for the name of her new shapewear line and — shocker — it’s incredibly offensive.The line is going...

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Click, Fucking, and Funny: 23+ Incredible Tumblr Posts That Are Must Watch the-man-who-sold-za-warudo Knight: I have trained in all forms of combat and weapons since birth. I cannot be bested Some horsecock motherfucker: Knight: What the fuck cerastes OH FUCK YESI GET TO TALK ABOUT LANTERN SHIELDS. For anyone seeing this post and wondering what kind of unholy heresy is currently having a blacksmithing orgy in front of their eyes, this is called a Lantern Shield. This came from, YOU GUESSED IT, fucking Italy, home of lunatic steel-weaving mother fuckers who often simply looked at each other and by each other, I mean their frenzied reflections in their shattered mirrors, and said "WHAT IF WE JUST DO THINGS", which is, as we all know, Aunt Jemima's recipe for success. Lantern Shields were very indicative: They were meant to be bucklers that could carry a lantern, oftentimes for night time duels Now, you're wondering, why carry a lantern on a night duel when it could just prove detrimental to your overall movement? Why, to blind the mother fucker, of coursel But, see, and this is the funny thing about Italy, when Italian blacksmiths realized that they could just add hook to a buckler, they noticed they could also just add whatever the thrice condemned shit they wanted to them, so they started forging stakes, spikes, and blades that protruded out of the buckler and gauntlet as additional defense against anyone who, due to the poor visibility of mist shrouded, dark blanketed nights, would just walk right into your handheld barracks. mean, nothing better than a bloke closing the distance to you losing an eye or six because they didn't consider you might just carry a porcupine on your arm, right? Some specimens exists, but these are not numerous. If you know of or possess an actual, physical Lantern Shield, congratulations, you probably have an item that likely killed. Source: the-man-who-sold-za-warudo Jan 26th, 2019 3,068 notes Sarcasm Goal Click to see full list 23+ Incredible Tumblr Posts That Are Must Watch #funny #memes #lol #humor #hilarious #tumblr
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Clothes, Fucking, and Gif: Bend thathighclassbitch: asprodente: darkvioletcloud: trilllizard666: ilyvbs: popipo12345: ilyvbs: nessa but she isn’t hypersexualized and her back makes sense  “Nintendo always gives their black female characters revealing outfits!!!!” Lenora, Pokemon Black and White Iris, Pokemon Black and White Twintelle, ARMS if anyone’s got any other examples, feel free to add on. HOW IS NOT OVERSEXUALIZED  also lenora looks like a mammy iris is the only fucking one with an okay design how about you listen to black people when they try to tell you shit huh “Lenora looks like a mammy” ….please learn what a mammy looks like before more stupid spills out of your mouth, thanks LENORA IS AN ARCHAEOLOGIST YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS THAT APRON? KEEPS THE DUST OFF OF HER BLOUSE WHEN SHE’S UNCOVERING SHIT PLAY THE FUCKING GAME AND YOU’D REALIZE IT And excuse me, OP? How is this hypersexualized? It’s not even sexualized, it’s just a fucking two-piece swim suit. It’s less revealing than a bikini. Fuck off. Tumblr: girls should be able to wear whatever they want!!!! Female character: shows any skin Tumblr: “Lenora looks like a mammy” what the fucking fuck? She’s just wearing a blouse and wide leg pants and holding her hair back with a scarf. Do you have literally any clue what a mammy looks like?Literally what makes her a mammy? The fact that she’s wearing clothes that cover her up and has an apron swung around her back? So if she wears too few clothes she sexualized but if she wears too many clothes she’s a mammy? What the hell do you want? I swear y’all clutch your pearls more than old Baptist grandmothers at the slightest hint to the existence of boobs or butts or anything even the tiniest bit revealing of skin on any part of the body.And yeah it’s a good thing white girls in Pokémon never get their skin revealed everGet off Tumblr and find an actual problem.
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Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS . RESTAURANTS HEALTH- WE G SITI[+ REAL ESIATE & HEUE· 1HINGS 10 De- 酉EDDING- BEST 0F PEILLY MAGAZINE Q Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it, you had to say so out loud MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm polyglotplatypus: please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Alive, Animals, and Cats: Meg OVeganMegane Vegans who feed their pets meat: u guys have gotta see the bigger picture. We shouldn't support animal exploitation w/ our money That's it. 7/13/16, 10:50 PM aer @thelilmermade @VeganMegane yes um so how would I feed my cat? 7/13/16, 11:02 PM lI VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY Meg @VeganMegane @thelilmermade is your cat male or 7m female? :) check out this website for more info: vegancats.com/ veganfaq.php Meg @VeganMegane @thelilmermade I know you want to best for your companion, and I won't deny that there are risks, but you can minimise those risks! 5m someoneintheshadow456: nautica-the-savant: marbledmartin: thegrumpymathematician: nunyabizni: sarcasmsuitsme: skypig357: iswearimnotnaked: hi hello CATS!!!! CANNOT!!!! BE VEGAN!!!!! i cannot believe i have to fucking say this. dogs are omnivore and IF YOUR VET APPROVES your pooch MAY be able to go on an APPROVED(!!!!!) commercial vegan dog food like the brand “v-dog” which has all the essential vitamins, protein, etc. (the oldest record winning dogs have been vegan) cats are CARNIVORE and cannot fucking live on a vegan diet. a vet would laugh in your face and probably find some way to have your pet taken away from you because you’re obviously not fit to have an animal if you think you can feed a cat a diet based on your own ethics i’m vegan but this is so fucking harmful. it’s about minimizing your harm, not putting your animals on risky diets in an attempt to be perfect. DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO YOUR PETS Idiot people If you see someone you know doing this, report them for animal cruelty and neglect. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This posts, and many of the notes on it, are bothering me. Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed colleagues from outside the confines of the gender binary; gather ‘round. Let’s throw some science in this joint. 1. Humans. Humans are not cats. Humans are not dogs. One would think this obvious, but people have a tendency to attempt such interspecies comparisons when discussing diet. Humans are order omnivora; we have essentially evolved in a manner that attempts to give us as much dietary flexibility as possible. We do, however, require a substance called B12 (or cobalamin), which is extremely important for brain and nervous system functions, as well as the synthesis of DNA and the construction of red blood cells. We cannot produce this vitamin ourselves–no animal, plant, or fungus can. The enzymes used in cobalamin production are essentially unique to bacteria and archaea–some species of which hang out in the digestive tracks of other animals. We get cobalamin in a roundabout way from fish, shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, and dairy products. While there is no naturally-occurring, vegan source of the vitamin that has been demonstrated effective in a human study of statistically significant sample size, effective synthetic forms do exist and can be used as a substitute.  Cyanocobalamin is one of the most common and is frequently found in fortified foods and vitamins. In short: Humans are omnivores. Humans have evolved for dietary flexibility, including viable vegetarianism. Humans did not evolve for veganism (be extremely suspicious of people who tell you that we did, as they are lying), but due to modern technologies, veganism is also a viable diet that humans can thrive on, should they so choose. 2. Cats. Cats are order carnivora. Cats require (amongst other things) an amino acid called taurine. We’re not quite sure how, exactly, but we know that it’s extremely important to feline heart wall tissue, retinal tissue, and brain tissue amongst other things. Cats cannot manufacture their own taurine, and must get it from other sources–primarily shellfish, fish and meat. Taurine breaks down when heated, so feeding your cat a home-cooked diet rich in this foods is also not necessarily a good idea (talk to a vet). Secondary (read: SUPPLEMENTARY. NOT A SOLE SOURCE OF TAURINE.) sources of taurine for cats include dairy, eggs, and seaweed- or yeast-based taurine supplements. In nature, cats don’t really need to worry about getting enough taurine, because (as you may have noticed), taurine sources are indeed the things that cats tend to catch and eat. However, a cat that lives in a human household is dependent on humans for food, and sometimes humans are utter fucktrucks. In short: Cats are obligate carnivores. Their primary source of nutrition is meat. They must eat meat, preferably as close to raw as possible. They have digestive tracks designed for digesting meat. There are vegan/vegetarian cat kibbles on the market. Do not buy them. Your cat is neither vegan nor vegetarian, and if you adjust their diet as if they were, you are a terrible person who is harming and possibly killing your pet. You suck. End of discussion. 3. Dogs. Dogs are slightly more nuanced here. They are facultative carnivores–meaning that they optimally should eat meat, but can survive on other things if resources are scare. Dogs also need the amino acid taurine, but can technically manufacture it themselves if the proper building blocks are in their diets. They also need vitamin D–D3 is preferable, but D2 can be used to some degree. Dogs are somewhere between us (the true omnivore) and the cat (the true carnivore). A vegan or vegetarian diet will keep a dog alive, certainly, but is unlikely to allow your pet to thrive as it lacks the recommended nutrients. You should probably be feeding your dog meat. The exception here–some dogs are allergic to conventional dog foods, or find symptoms of certain diseases alleviated by vegetarianism. In this case, a veterinarian (not you, layperson, I mean an actual trained veterinarian) may determine that the benefits of putting your dog on a vegetarian/vegan diet outweigh those of feeding your dog meat. This is relatively rare, but does occasionally happen. And no, actually, the oldest dog is not vegan–Bramble is the only dog on this list that I found had some indication of veganism. The oldest dog on record is an Australian Kelpie named Maggie, who was not vegan. It is more likely that Bramble lived that long despite the veganism, not because of it. In short: If a vet thinks that your dog may be allergic to dog food/require a special diet and recommends you try feeding it a vegetarian/vegan diet, listen to your vet. Otherwise? Dogs are carnivora. They do need vegetables and other sources of nutrients, but their optimal fuel, as it were, is meat. Your dog needs meat to be happy. Fucking feed your dog.  Now, I did manage to find two veterinarians who disagree with every other study I dug up and the American Veterinary Medical Association. Their articles are here and here. They don’t really have sources, and are essentially wholly dependent on anecdotal evidence (“my dog is a vegetarian and hasn’t died!”), but for those of you data cherry-pickers reading this, there you go.  As a rule, dogs and cats need meat. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem, not theirs. If you try to implement a vegan or vegetarian diet for your pets because you implemented one for yourself, you shouldn’t have those pets. That is animal abuse. (By the way, those of you not feeding your cats and non-allergic dogs the food they need to survive and thrive? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not love your pets?) TL;DR If you do not want a pet that must be fed meat, you should under no circumstances acquire a cat or a dog. Thank you for your time. Rebloobing for the more detailed info on B12 and obligate carnivore vs true omnivores Always reblog. Dear Vegans, If you’re not willing to at least feed your dogs and cats commercial food, get a rabbit or a parrot.
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Birthday, Children, and Crying: ERIDIEN darecrow: Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

darecrow: Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn...

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Being Alone, Condom, and Confused: Brie @meowmeowmeow07 When I was 17 years old, I had a boyfriend. The second time we ever had sex, he poked a hole into his condom behind my back. This resulted in my pregnancy I was 17 years old. I was terrified. After a store bought pregnancy test showed I was positive I went to my boyfriends 1:41 PM May 15, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 156K Likes 88.7K Retweets Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 Replying to @meowmeowmeow07 screamed with glee and told me that he had intentionally gotten me pregnant so he could "lock me in" because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I was confused & scared. I didn't know how to act. I was 17 years old. My friend urged me to go to a women's clinic (2) 1.4K 16.3K Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 to make sure. Little did we know that this women's clinic" was owned by Christians. They proceeded to tell me that if I killed my baby, l would be a murderer, and murderers go to hell. l was 17 years old My friend took my hand and dragged me out of that clinic (3) 7 1.2K Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 In order for me to get the procedure as a 17 year old without parental consent, I had to go in front of a judge who would grant me my rights to an abortion as long as I wasn't using it as a means for birth control. I was granted my rights, Itook the day off of school and my(4) 1.1 14.8K Brie * @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 friend drove me to the abortion clinic. This procedure took all of 5 minutes. There was no baby to remove and dismantle. There wasn't even a fetus. It was an embryo that took 5 minutes and no blood shed to remove I went home and through confusion, a lot of tears and pure (5) 1.7K 19.7K Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 support from my friend, I tried to continue on with my 17 year old life. Shortly after T had time to think about what had actually happened, broke up with him. He proceeded to pull a knife on me, but he cut his wrists instead He said if he can't have me, he doesn't want (6) 15.8K 5 1.1K Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 to live. I was 17 years old. My parents who found out about my abortion and what he had done to me banned hi m from my house. For 10 years after, he stalked me. He showed up at my work He knew how to get my new cell phone number l constantly had to change because of him. (7) 15.9K 1.2K 6 Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 It was only when the police arrested him for stalking that he left me alone. I thank God everyday that I don't have his child. That he wasn't allowed to "lock me in." He is a psychopath and I would hate myself if I had brought an actual living and breathing child into this (8) 1.7K 8 23.4K Brie @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 world with him as their father, I believe he would have killed us l've never spoken on this publicly. It has caused me pain and embarrassment, but if my story helps one person out there, then that means more to me than my pain. This is bigger than l am. (9) 1.3K 20.6K Brie * @meowmeowmeow07 May 15 To the girls and women in Ohio, Georgia and Alabama and more states to come, I am with you. I will never stop fighting for your rights as a HUMAN. Stay strong and never be ashamed of who you are and what you do with your own body. (10) 221 58.4k 7.7K thatpettyblackgirl: This is so powerful.

thatpettyblackgirl: This is so powerful.

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