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Game, Wife, and Her: My daughter hates it when her sandwich is not cut perfect in half. My wife had to up her game to annoy her.

My daughter hates it when her sandwich is not cut perfect in half. My wife had to up her game to annoy her.

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America, Ass, and Books: Thomas McFall @thomas_mcfall Hey guys, I know l usually just post shitty jokes on my Twitter but bear with me because l wanted to share something So in one of my Management classes l sit in the same seat in the front every day. Every single day I sit there Now, l also sit next to some foreign guy that 4/9/18, 6:22 AM 83.9K Retweets 151K Likes Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall. 5d 、 barely speaks English. The most advanced thing l've heard this guy say in English is "Wow, my muffin is really good" This guy also has a habit of stackin;g every item he owns in the exact space l sit. His bag, his food, his books, and his phone are ALWAYS right on my desk space 5 t 743 9,104 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d Now, every single time l walk into class this guy says "Ah, Tom. You here. Okay." And starts frantically clearing my desk of his belongings. He then makes it a habit to say "Ready for class, yeah?" And gives me a high five. Every day this quy gives me a high five 714 10.8K Thomas McFall @thomasmcfall 5d Tweet your reply Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d I was ALWAYS annoyed with this guy. l'm thinking "Dude, you know I sit in this seat every day. Why are you always stacking your shit here? And the last thing I want to do is give a guy who barely speaks my language high fives at 8 in the morning" Just get your shit off my desk 682 8,716 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d But today I came to class and was running a few minutes late. I'm standing outside because l had to send a quick text. I could see my usual space through the door out of the corner of my eye. Of course, my desk was filled with his belongings. The usual 4 1652 8,168 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d As I'm standing there on my phone another guy who was also late walks into the class before me and tried to take my seat since it's closest to the door. Tweet your reply 0 The guy sitting next to me stops this dude from sitting down and says "I'm sorry. My good friend Thomas sits here." t 1,125 19.5K Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall. 5d It was then that I realized this guy wasn't putting stuff on my seat to annoy me. He was saving me the seat every morning And this whole time he saw me as a friend but I was too busy thinking about myself to take him into consideration Cheesy as it sounds, I was touched 38 Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall. 5d ﹀ l ended up going into class and of course he cleared the seat and said "Ah, Tom You here. Okay." And I did get a high five 02,686 41.1KT At the end of class l ended up asking him if he wanted to get a bite to eat with me We did. And we talked for a while. I got through the broken English 4 0795 15.2K Tweet your reply The guy moved here from the Middle East to pursue a college education in America. He plans to go back after he gets his degree. He's got two kids and a wife. He works full time and sends his all his left over money back home to his wife 6 875 18.1K Thomas McFall @thomas mcfall 5d | asked him how he liked America as well He said he misses his family but it's exciting to be here. He also said "Not every American is nice to me like you are, Tom. I bought lunch, of course. Dude deserves it. He gave me a high five for buying lunch. Gotta keep up tradition 16 0994 23.2K Thomas McFall @thomas_mcfall 5d Moral of the story? Don't do what I do and constantly only think about yourself It took me nearly the entire semester to get my head out of my ass and realize this guy was just trying to be my friend Tweet your reply positive-memes: Student finds annoying foreigner is a friend he didn’t know he had.
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Being Alone, Animals, and Children: witchoffires my little sister just found out at school that you can create a religion and wants me to help her turn Halloween into a year long religion. And i never knew i wanted this until now. We will be the Halloween Cult. I am so ready for this. witchoffires My sister came up with some cult rules. 1. Do not deny the spooky 2. Be nice to children. 3. Don't be pressuring others into the religion, if they don't want to hear leave them alone. Every second Wednesday of each month is Pumpkin Worship, that is when you eat pumpkin flavored things, carve pumpkins, or burn pumpkin spice scented candles Just embrace the pumpkin. 5. Don't be mean to other people for reasons they can't control, but hey if they are doing it on purpose just to annoy you, destroy them No touch other people if they don't want you to, this includes hair. 6. Halloween is a holy day, embrace it and become one with the spooky 8. Costumes are an everyday thing, but sometimes it can be inappropriate, be aware of when to embrace the spooky and when to just be a little spooky. 9. Don't let anyone tell you you can't be spooky, and if they do tell you then they don't know what they're talking about. You can be all the spooky all you want. 10. Be nice to animals. Be ready to help others when you can but still remember that you need to put your needs first. 12. You are spooky, you are amazing, you are fabulous. Say it. idk but i think we need more, go ask you internet nerd friends. can yall think of anything else? witchoffires OKay i asked her how one would join the cult and she said to light a jack-o-lantern on a full moon then yodel into the night for the pumpkin king and if he approves you, you will hear someone yell "stut the fuck up" then you are part of the cult. have fun yodeling my friends Next full moon is Nov 4th, may the pumpkin king approve.
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