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Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: blacksirencry: swaglexander-the-great: #That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit  me tryna find out if this fool died “The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.” Holy shit And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!! Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this #AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS  I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN. There are many things that will kill you. [citation needed] There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST. There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in. Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN. Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus. It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish. The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the LD50 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you. DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS. Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE. A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND. Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough. I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin: “Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.” “The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.” Remember how the LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.   I DID SOME MATH.   IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.) Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.” THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY. And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria. Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE. IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST. And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death. Don’t touch the pretty shells. I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have. You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌
Antidote, God, and Love: <p><a href="http://phantomemes.tumblr.com/post/166125434642/rp-sentence-starters-taken-from-rupi-kaurs-work" class="tumblr_blog">phantomemes</a>:</p><blockquote> <blockquote><p><small>rp sentence starters taken from <b>rupi kaur’s</b> work , <b>the sun and her flowers</b>.</small></p></blockquote> <p><small>“ my heart cracked inside my body. ”<br/>“ no one is coming in and no one is getting out. ”<br/>“ i deserved someone who was willing to stay.”<br/>“ a dozen different thoughts tear through me each second. ”<br/>“ i envy the winds who still witness you. ”<br/>“ i could be anything in the world. ”<br/>“ but i wanted to be his. ”<br/>“ what does love look like? ”<br/>“ i realized how naive i have been. ”<br/>“ i’m about to get up and walk right out the door. ”<br/>“ you cannot walk in and out of me like a revolving door. ”<br/>“ you took the sun with you when you left. ”<br/>“ when you plunged the knife into me you also began bleeding. ”<br/>“ you will suffer the way you make me suffer. ”<br/>“ i think my body knew you would not stay. ”<br/>“ your absence is a missing limb. ”<br/>“ it must be hard to live with what ifs. ”<br/>“ how did we live through it and how are we still living? ”<br/>“ i can tell when you’re lying. ”<br/>“ the person i fell in love with was a mirage. ”<br/>“ i notice everything i do not have. ”<br/>“ i hardened under the last loss. ”<br/>“ all i dream is to soften. ”<br/>“ i barely feel like living. ”<br/>“ why are you so unkind to me? ”<br/>“ you are waiting for someone who is not coming back. ”<br/>“ i was the warmest place you knew. ”<br/>“ you turned me cold. ”<br/>“ the irony of loneliness is we all feel it at the same time. ”<br/>“ you must see no worth in yourself. ”<br/>“ worth is not something we transfer. ”<br/>“ growth is a process. ”<br/>“ your actions are not my responsibility. ”<br/>“ it’s okay to let others help pick up the pieces. ”<br/>“ i do not weep because i’m unhappy. ”<br/>“ i have everything and yet i am unhappy. ”<br/>“ nothing in this world was promised or belonged to you. ”<br/>“ all you own is yourself. ”<br/>“ you have already rotted. ”<br/>“ there is nothing left for me to do. ”<br/>“ what if nothing wants me because i do not want me? ”<br/>“ i am both the poison and the antidote. ”<br/>“ i have survived far too much to go quietly. ”<br/>“ my death will be grand. ”<br/>“ all i’ve ever known is pain. ”<br/>“ never feel guilty for starting again. ”<br/>“ i am the ghost of ghosts. ”<br/>“ there is god in you. ”  </small><br/></p> </blockquote>

phantomemes: rp sentence starters taken from rupi kaur’s work , the sun and her flowers. “ my heart cracked inside my body. ”“ no one is com...

Antidote, Dr. Dre, and Eminem: my teacher commended me for taking such good notes today but i was really just writing the lyrics to real slim shady solely out of memory Unit N lesson a nord nistor please. Will the real slim snady please l repeat stand up. will the real sim snady please stand up we're gonna a nave a problem nere. yall act like you've never seen nnite person before jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door and started wnaping ncri ass worse than before they first alvorsed natt no ner over furniture an! it's me return of the-aw ne way you're kidding, ne aidn't just say nnat 1 tnink did, did ne? and Dr. Dre said, nothing you idiots Dr. pres dead, ne's locked in my basement! na feminist women love Eminem cnicka cnicka cnicka slim snady 1 m sick of him look at nim walking around grapplng nas you know nnat flipping the you know who yean put n yean got a couple of screws up in my nedd but no wore tnan nnatis going on in your parents bedroomi sometimes want to on and jusT loose pur can't put it's cool for Tom Green to nump a dead moose, my oum is on your lips, my burn is on your lips and if I'm luck you migrmt ne deliver to little kids and expect tnem not 10 Enow What s clitorus is! ot course they gonna know wnar a Woman ntercourse s tne tne they nit Ain grade they got mammals, well some cannibals Wno cut other people open ive cantaloupes put if we can nump dead animals and anteloupes and th10re's a reason nny one man and got the antidote, women weave pantynose, sin the cnolUS and it goes! I'm Slim shady yean I'm the real Snady all you Other Slim snady'5 50 Won't the real m Snady please stand please stand up "Michaela Catherine why did you not sleep!" Well mother you didn't sleep either ~Michaela •••••••• TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGS tumblrtextpost tumblrposts textpost tumblr shrek instatumblr memes posts phan funnythings 😂 same funny haha loltumblr lol relatable rarepepe funnythings funnytextposts pepeislife meme funnystuff pepe food spam