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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares onceuponamirror: helenofhere: snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind: This is the most important post on this platform since early 2016. WE ARE NOT FUCKING IT UP TWICE. DO NOT LET PROPAGANDA AND MANIPULATION DIVIDE US AGAINST GETTING THIS MONSTER OUT. thanks
Boner, Children, and Definitely: IDW Misrepresenter Follow @aiizavva PewDiePie collaborating with Ben Shapiro and giving him exposure to a massive audience of mostly young people is probably the worst thing he has done yet. THE BEN S PIRO oW , 1135 / 14:28 Okay, This Is Epic (Bonus Meme ft. Ben Shapiro) 479,261 views 162K SHARESAVE PewDiePie Published on 2 Now 2018 JOIN SUBSCRIBE 68M 10:54 PM-2 Nov 2018 599 Retweets 1,994 Likes 备 @ IDW Misrepresenter Follow @aiizavwa "It's just a meme, PewDiePie doesn't actually buy into this right-wing garbage." Uhhhm no... TWEETS FOLLOWING FOLLOWERS LIKES 179 510 9.76M 6,139 Likes pewdiepie @pewdiepie har gett upp 9 youtube.com/pewdiepie Paul Joseph Watson@PrisonPlanet 2h The regressive left has declared war on satire. PewDiePie: BAN ALL THE THINGS! The regressive left has declared war on fun. Facebook@ https://www.facebook.com/paul.j.watson.71 FOLLOW Joined May 2009 Tweet to pewdiepie Paul Joseph Watson https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet youtube.com 37 Followers you know 42 183 574 Stefan Molyneux @StefanMolyneux 11h 55 million subscribers? @Pewdiepie has more subscribers than South Korea, Spain, Canada, Sweden, etc. have citizens. Congratulations! 35178 871 pewdiepie @pewdiepie Following Replying to @StefanMolyneux LIKE 3 10:43 AM 13 May 2017 really not someone you should expose your millions of young followers to twitter.com/benshapiro/sta Ben Shapiro@benshapiro This Tweet from @benshapiro has been withheld in Germany, France based on local law(s). Learn more. n0ja: vore-me-mcdaddy: meat-clown: vore-me-mcdaddy: max-against-creeps: vore-me-mcdaddy: max-against-creeps: vore-me-mcdaddy: max-against-creeps: vore-me-mcdaddy: …Can you guys just watch the vid first? Why would i want to watch his vids? Everything he’s done past like 2013 fuckin sucks anyway Because this whole thing is being blown put of proportion (i mean i saw this coming because people cant help but find something wrong with felix but) All ben does is reviews memes about him at the end of the vid (like theres nothing political that would even have kids being “persuade”) speaking of which people need to stop with the whole “the ”‘kids’“ who watch pewdiepie are stupid and we need to babysit them or else theyll do something stupid ” Ah yes because children definitely aren’t even slightly easy to influence whatsoever Of course kids can be influenced but what im saying is that we need to give “‘kids’”(note the quotations on both this post and my last one) more credit Them seeing ben Shapiro critic memes isnt suddenly gonna make them a trump supporter Ok but im not saying “kids” im saying kids as in the literal children that make up part of his fanbase The not actually 9 year olds that he likes to joke are 9 year old viewers? its a GOOD thing that hes introducing children to conservative speakers. they need to know the truth before the left pulls them into their indoctrination. my only issue with it is that he didnt get an ancap speaker instead. He introduced them to a meme and the person the meme is about Nothing more nothing less NOTHING IN THE VID WAS POLITICAL Pewdiepie and his fanbase has been making jokes and memes about different personels appearing and host his videos from time to time and it’s not the first time Pewds surprised them with having the person they joked about to appear at the end. Same with the twitch streamer girl whom appeared at the end card one time. It was a funny thing to do and nothing about convincing or trick any political movement at all. Even if you don’t enjoy his videos, you can’t just assume things without real facts or without watching it/them.And the majority of his fans aren’t even kids anymore, but people whom mostly grew up with him and pre/teens.  For fucks sake it wasn’t even the tiniest bit political I don’t know why the mainstream media has such a fucking hate boner for Felix good golly.
Cars, Juice, and Memes: Today, I fucked up... by calling a locksmith when l was "locked out"of my car groud-On: today-ifuckedup: I'll preface this by saying I'm usually not a stupid man but I was at the end of my third 16 hour shift in a row and I was very tired. I'll make this quick: I got off work, went out to my car, hit the button for the doors on my remote unlocker as usual. Nothing happened. I tried it a few more times battery must be dead. I stand there for 10 minutes, mashing the little button, hoping for enough juice to open the doors. Nada I call a locksmith, explain that I'm locked out of my car. He says he'll be right over. 20 minutes later he arrives. He walks up with his tools, inserts a thing that looks like a blood pressure cuff in the door jamb. He starts making conversation as it inflates, pushing the door open: So locked your keys in the car? No problem sir, I'lI have it open in a minute. No, my keys are right here, my key fob is dead." I replied He stops and for about 10 seconds. Doesn't say a word. He sees my keys in my hands. Takes them from me, inserts them in the lock and opens the door I was mortified. I was so in a habit of opening the doors with my remote fob that I entirely forgot that keys could be used to unlock cars manually He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. After he stopped laughing, he told me there was no charge. The story he'd have to tell was worth the drive out Gold I'm dying at what @memezar just posted 😂😂
Drunk, Memes, and New York: A Mexican restaurant called "Amigos Taqueria Y Tequila" in Westerly, Rhode lsland is selling T-whirts calling for the murder of our president. In a restaurant, to "86" something is to get rid of it, when talking about humans, its murder. The phone number at the restaurant is 401-315-5800. 886 86 86 45 86 45 Regardless of whether it was the first to coin the phrase, the restaurant business in the 1930s was one of the main incubators for its usage and development. Believed to be slang for the word “nix,” it was initially used as a way of saying that the kitchen was out of something, as revealed in Walter Winchell’s 1933 newspaper column that featured a “glossary of soda-fountain lingo” used in restaurants during that time. It later evolved into a code that restaurants and bars used when they wanted to cut someone off, because they were either rude, broke, or drunk, as in “86 that chump at the end of the bar.” This possible origin stems from the Prohibition era at a bar called Chumley’s located at 86 Bedford Street in New York City. To survive, many speakeasies had the police on somewhat of a payroll so that they might be warned of a raid. In the case of Chumley’s, it is said that police would call and tell the bartender to 86 his customers, which meant that 1) a raid was about to happen and 2) that they should all exit via the 86 Bedford door while the police would approach at the entrance on Pamela Court. Another plausible explanation for the saying is brought you by the U.S. Navy’s Allowance Type (AT) coding system that was used to identify and classify the status of inventory. The code AT-6 was assigned to inventory that was designated for disposal, specifically after World War II as the Navy decommissioned many of its warships and went through the process of cleaning out its storerooms where they kept spare parts. During this process, any parts that were labeled AT-6 were considered trash and thrown out. It is easy to see phonetically how this could result in the term “86” and the idea of throwing something away to become synonymous.

Regardless of whether it was the first to coin the phrase, the restaurant business in the 1930s was one of the main incubators for its usage...

Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around awesomacious: Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QSr17M
Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.