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Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

Michael Jordan, Nba, and News: NEWS 0 NEW NEWSS Enormous cow believed to be the biggest in the world is almost as tall as NBA star Michael Jordan

Enormous cow believed to be the biggest in the world is almost as tall as NBA star Michael Jordan

Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

Lmao, Memes, and Australia: @animqls theres like 60 kids trick or treating in my street rn which is so unheard of in australia lmao

theres like 60 kids trick or treating in my street rn which is so unheard of in australia lmao

Advice, Africa, and Alive: IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A SIGN TO STAY ALIVE TONIGHT THIS IS IT PLEASE STAY SAFE & REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED fuwaprince: US Helplines:Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453UK Helplines:Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.orgChildline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.ukMind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.ukb-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.ukb-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.ukFrank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600Drinkline: 0800 9178282Rape Crisis England amp; Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.ukRape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnightIndia Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430Australia: 13-11-14Austria: 01-713-3374Barbados: 429-9999Belgium: 106Botswana: 391-1270Brazil: 21-233-9191China: 852-2382-0000(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)Costa Rica: 606-253-5439Croatia: 01-4833-888Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908Denmark: 70-201-201Egypt: 762-1602Estonia: 6-558-088Finland: 040-5032199France: 01-45-39-4000Germany: 0800-181-0721Greece: 1018Guatemala: 502-234-1239Holland: 0900-0767Honduras: 504-237-3623Hungary: 06-80-820-111Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90Israel: 09-8892333Italy: 06-705-4444Japan: 3-5286-9090Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292Malaysia: 03-756-8144(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)Mexico: 525-510-2550Netherlands: 0900-0767New Zealand: 4-473-9739New Guinea: 675-326-0011Nicaragua: 505-268-6171Norway: 47-815-33-300Philippines: 02-896-9191Poland: 52-70-000Portugal: 239-72-10-10Russia: 8-20-222-82-10Spain: 91-459-00-50South Africa: 0861-322-322South Korea: 2-715-8600Sweden: 031-711-2400Switzerland: 143Taiwan: 0800-788-995Thailand: 02-249-9977Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800Ukraine: 0487-327715(Source)

fuwaprince: US Helplines:Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255Trevor Project: 1-866-488...