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Awesomes: So let's talk about the Awesome/Not Awesomes of How I just locked myself out of the House: Awesome: I was being productive and decided to do my laundry on a Friday morning, when I didn't have work. Awesome: I sorted my laundry like a responsible person Not Awesome: When I walked out to the garage, I forgot to check whether the door knob was locked Not Awesome: The door was locked Not Awesome: I didn't have a spare key Not Awesome: I didn't have my cell phone so l can't call anyone. Not Awesome: My PS3 is on and its set to shut off after one hour of inactivity. Not Awesome: I haven't saved my game in 2-3 hours Awesome: I have neighbors l can ask to borrow the phone from Not Awesome: No one is home Awesome: My wife works close by and I can walk there Not Awesome: I don't have socks on Awesome: I found a pair of socks in my car. Not Awesome: There are no shoes in the garage. Awesome: I founda second pair of socks to wear in my laundry hamper. Awesome: There is a bike in my garage. Not Awesome: My tires are flat Not Awesome: The bike pump is inside the house Awesome: I have someone's air compressor that also has the tire fuel attachment. Awesome I can fill the tires and bike to my wife Not Awesome: I can't close the garage because it has one of those safety sensors. Not Awesome: I look stupid as I try to run out of my garage and then try to tiptoe my way around an invisible line. Not Awesome: I fail at this 4 times before I successfully make it out of the garage. Not Awesome: It is really cold outside, and all I have are two layers of socks, jersey shorts, and a sweater Not Awesome: Biking without shoes is painful. Awesome: It doesn't take that long to get to my wife's work Awesome: My wife is in the office, and not at an off-site meeting Not Awesome: My wife is in a meeting in her office Awesome: My wife's intern sees my desperation and says it's okay to get the keys for the house Not Awesome: I barge into a meeting that my wife is having with their company president and potential client Not Awesome: Everyone in the room has the most surprised look on their faces as they give me a look-over (it's a respectable place, and l'm wearing two pairs of socks, basketball shorts, and a sweater) Awesome: My wife gives me her keys Awesome: I hear everyone laughing behind the door when I close it, so l'm probably not getting divorced and she's probably not getting fired Not Awesome: The bike back home is all uphill Awesome: I get into the house through the front door and place Kelly's keys on the entranceway bench Awesome: My PS3 hasn't shut off vet Awesome: I save my game. Awesome: I walk into the garage to put my bike back Not Awesome: When l walked out to the garage, I forgot to check whether the door knob was locked. Not Awesome: The door was locked Not Awesome: I didn't have a spare key because I left it by the front door when I walked in Awesome: I didn't lock the front door when I came back home Awesome: I learned a valuable lesson
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Awesomes: The Cosplayer Is Always Right RESTAURANT MADRID, SPAIN AWESOM CUSTOMERS, FOOD & DRINK, GEEKS RU TOP, WILD & UNRULY (Our Japanese restaurant is near a school that ally ho on. S an an al e CO fairly play of th Th okay with it as long as they don't annoy the rs. On this day, twelve cosplayers and, later, I seat three young Young Customer #1: "What is this? Why are those guys costumed? Oh, there's a ge anime col ention ongoing at the local school. It's rather common to see them at the times of the gathering Young Customer #1: hucki "Yeah, what a bunch of dorks Young Customer #2: "Total nerds Since there her free tables d they didn't pre-order a table, they sit near the cosplayers while mocking them under their breath. In the mean e, a cosplayer of Pikachu talking somewhat loudly on his phone Young Customer #2: *waves at me* Hey, you! Tell those dorks to shut up! Halo Cosplay Oh Im sorry, sir." *to Pikach Dud not so loud. You're bothering people Pikachu Cosplay 'Wh Oh, sorry to bother y king ag guys. h q Young Customer #3: "Yeah, that's right. Shut up, you virgin nerd! Young Customer #1: Go back to the library, At this p behavior of the younger customers. He immediately goes to their table.) "Wh be the prob Young Customer #1: "It's not our fault. Those nerds arted to ult us! We're not going to stay here and do nothing! Owner: "My staff told me the contrary, Young Customer #3: "What?! That b waitress is lying! Owne ff o Th players extremely polite and quiet during their meals unlike you. If someone must be thrown out, t's you (In the blink of an eye, one of the young customers gets up and tries to grab the owner of th prise, play playing Batman grabs him by the hair, slams him on the table and holds him still) Young Customer #1: "OW! That f***ing hurts! Who th hink y do y motherf***er?! Batman Cosplayer: *in a raspy tone "I am am the nigh Batman vengeance. am (The two other customers begin to yell, but p wh quickly sh players g and surround them, showing that most of them are clearly larger than them. The mallsecurity arrests the bad customers, and the cosplayers fter apologizing for th ble. H it's not before we snap a picture with them. No e frequently joke about that time when d M Chief Pikach d th restaurant!)
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Awesomes: Not How You A-Dress Customers CLOTHING STORE I TX USA I BAD BEHAMOR, EMPLOYEES, LANGUAGE & WORDS (A few of my friends and are in a clothing store. We are teenagers, and my friends have convinced me to try on a dress that i have no intention of buying. They insist, however, in seeing me Me: Here you go Friend #1 "You look AWESOM Friend #2: "Yeah! You totally should buy that! Me: "Maybe. actually kinda like it, but Earn 25,000 Welcome Bonus points. Pay NO annual fee for the first year. Reward. "Condiser apply (one of our other party members who was browsing clothes, hurries back over frantically. Friend #3 "We should leave. Hurry, please Me: "What's wrong? Friend #3 "We need to get out of here. Now. (I quickly change and we leave the store.) Me: "What happened?" Friend #3 "The employees back there heard you say you didn't want to buy the dress you were trying on. They were talking about us. They said, Those f*****g b*****s need to get out of here so our a e customers can get in and spend their f*****g money alrea Friend #1 "WHAT?! THEY JUST LOST FOUR NEW ERS WE WERE GOING TO GO BACK! Me: One moment. (I walk back into the store and find the employees, Employee #1: "What do you want? Me: "I just wanted to give you a heads up. Employee #2 "On what?" Me: "I thought you should know that my friend heard every word you said. You lost four new customers with your obscene language and incred bly ru de attitude. Be dy for a call to your manage r. Have a ice day rea (I left the store with the employees having horrified expressions on their faces called the store the next week. Ever since, the employees were fired and Iwas given an immense discount on my next purchase. saw one of the employees several weeks later. She recognized me as well) Me: overy sweetly "How's Employee #1: "F*** you! Earn up to 5% cash back at eligible gas stations, grocery stores and restaurants for the first 6 month Conditions apply imply Cash American Express NAVIGATE Announcements View by Job View by Month View by Year SEND MONEY ABROAD FOR UP TO 90% LESS Learn More Terms Apply PayPal ISNew
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