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Fashion, Food, and Fucking: rockatransky: on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while. i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home. this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said "dinner, y'know?" for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion, the fucking crickets started chirping so i guess i'm never going back there ever again. Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards
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Crying, Dad, and Fucking: <p><a href="http://cc-videos.tumblr.com/post/158116792989/gimmekurtisconner-parenting-an-angsty-teen" class="tumblr_blog">cc-videos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://gimmekurtisconner.tumblr.com/post/148665935637/parenting-an-angsty-teen" class="tumblr_blog">gimmekurtisconner</a>:</p><blockquote><p>parenting an angsty teen</p></blockquote> <p>[angsty music playing]</p><p><i> 🎵 I’m just a kid I- 🎵 </i></p><p>Dad: Knock knock [chuckles]</p><p>Kid: Oh, hey dad.</p><p>Dad: What are you up to, huh?</p><p>Kid: Not much, I’m just writing some music…</p><p>Dad: Cool. So I was thinking. You’ve been making music for the last few months, and… I haven’t even heard any of it.</p><p>Kid: Aw, no, you don’t wanna hear it. It’s stupid. </p><p>Dad: Come on, why don’t you just play me one song. I wanna hear what my pride and joy has been up to.</p><p>Kid: I don’t know…. Are you sure?</p><p>Dad: I’m sure. Just one song. </p><p>Kid: Okay.</p><p>[music starts playing with the kid as vocals]</p><p>1 2 3 4!</p><p>I hate my dad  I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad </p><p>I want him dead  I want him dead I want him dead I want him dead I want him dead I want him dead I want him dead I want him dead</p><p> I hate my dad  I hate my dad I hate my dad so fucking much I hate my dad I hate my dad I want him to die right now I hate him dead hate him now I hate him hate him hate him <br/></p><p>I hate my dad, oh my god I hate my dad! IIIIII haate my dad! I hate him so much! I hate him so much! I haaaaate myyyyy dad! I hate him! Oh my god I hate him so much!  I hate him!</p><p>[music stops; long awkward silence]</p><p>Kid: So what do you think?</p><p>Dad: [choking back tears] Umm… I gotta go…. Big Bang Theory’s on in like two minutes, so…. I don’t want to miss it</p><p>Kid: Come on dad, I’m just being a punk rocker! It’s not true!</p><p>Dad: [crying] It’s fine, it was super cool. It was great. [leaves the room sobbing]</p><p>Kid: [deep sigh]</p><p>[upbeat music plays from the other room]</p><p>Dad: [rapping] My son made me sad. I’m just trying to be a good dad.</p><p>Kid: Dad..?</p></blockquote>
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