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Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
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Football, Gif, and Jail: LibertariRynn @Libertarirynn Republicans: "People died for our freedom of expression!" Football player: *uses that freedom* Republicans: GIF 9/24/17, 5:47 PM <p><a href="https://emmaubler.tumblr.com/post/165702044309/libertarirynn-b-but-its-disrespectful-so" class="tumblr_blog">emmaubler</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/165701819809/b-but-its-disrespectful-so-what-if-you" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>“B-but it’s DiSrEsPeCtFuL!!!”</p> <p>So what? If you want to live in a country where disrespect of the flag/government is a punishable offense, move to North Korea.</p> </blockquote> <p>For me, the line is more the punishment than the offense.  People are allowed to be offended by others’ speech.  You don’t have to like the NFL players’ protest any more than Berkley students have to like the conservatives that come through there.  Freedom of speech doesn’t mean everyone has to approve of what you say, and there can be consequences for your behavior from an employer.  But yeah, if you want people to lose their jobs or be sent to the gulags because they express a nonviolent viewpoint or attend a peaceful protest you disagree with, then yeah, you’re probably in authoritarian territory, which is not a good place to be.  <br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Exactly. Anybody who was bitching about the left suppressing their freedom of speech a few weeks ago and is now sitting behind a keyboard saying you should lose your job or be thrown in jail if you disrespect the flag is a damn hypocrite. </p><p>I have called the left out on ignoring the First Amendment plenty of times but don’t think I’m giving a pass to the right. I’ll tell you the same thing I told them: freedom of speech/expression is not limited to the speech/expression that you personally find tasteful. If you think certain nonviolent speech or behavior should not be tolerated, congratulations: you’re an authoritarian.</p>
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