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Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
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Appalled, Ass, and Bad: G13 LELY amatalefay: spaceisprettycool: wildestranger: sashayed: lierdumoa: sashayed: sashayed: sashayed: lierdumoa: sashayed: sashayed: My name is Calfe& Im too youngto know yet what do with my Toung!So till my Mom say“Dont Do That!”Ill stick it outAnd lik this cat. My little Calfe,Im proud of yu–yur living likethe Big Cows do.Yur doing justwhat Mom have said–for yu lik cat,and cat  lik bred. Bad meme execution. 0/5 stars. These poems are supposed to be imitative of 17th/18th century middle English poetry (pre-dating dictionaries and formalized spelling conventions) not early 2000s chatspeak, not babytalk. These poems are also supposed to be in iambic diameter, giving them a pleasing songlike rhythm. The above has inconsistent syllabic structure from line to line. These attributes are clearly illustrated in the prime: So tired of people on this website and their flagrant disregard for syllabic structure. No respect for the craft. 1. first of all, how dare you. i would never, N E V E R, put forth a cow poem with inconsistent syllabic structure. these may not be my finest work, but the iambic dimeter is IMPECCABLE. check my scansion again and come back to me. I guess “know what do yet” is not ideal, but it falls within the constraints of the form. i’m genuinely appalled by this. i have SEEN inconsistent scansion in this meme, i do NOT approve of it and i have NOT done it. how dare you. HOW DAR EYOU!!! Secondly: it is not absurd to suppose that the linguistic constraints of a Cow Poem would depend on the figure to whom Cow speaks. In the original (and perfect) “i lik the bred,” the narrative cow, like a Chaucerian non-characterized narrator, directs her speech to an imagined and unspecific listener; not to “the men,” who are characters within the poem, but to some more general audience. (See the Canterbury Tales prologue for an example of this voice in action.)  Later, poem_for_your_sprog has Cow address contemporaries like “dog.” You will notice that the voice of Cow varies slightly, in speaking to Dog, from her voice in the original “I lik the bred.” WHY, then, can we not extrapolate that Calfe – who is, after all, a narrator of limited capacity, being only a Baby Cow with a Baby Cow’s simplicity – would have its own variant voice? And why, too, would Cow not speak differently to her own Calfe than she does to an animal peer, or to reverent imaginary auditors? These are experiments within an emerging form – flawed experiments, certainly, but not mistakes ipso facto. Again: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!! my name is Cow,and as yu see,its worth yor tiymeto studye me.but if yu dontlike what yu red,take 2 deep brethsand lik the bred. I am willing to concede on second reading that the syllabic structure is passable, and in that regard I’ve wrongly impugned the integrity of your work, however I maintain that your Frankenstinian amalgam of fake middle English with fake modern American baby talk is thoroughly unconvincing as either middle English or as modern American baby talk. It’s an aesthetic failure, IMH(inh)O* You’ve created the linguistic equivalent of a spork — vitiating two perfectly serviceable tools by attempting to fuse them. Writing ‘till mothere says / do not do that,’ would have conveyed roughly the same idea without feeling quite so awkwardly anachronistic. My name is Rave,and I can seeyou’re bent on pa-tronizing me!”Anachronistic”frankly seems a misplaced word to use of memes.But since you want to start that fight,let’s step outsideand do this right. Dude: if you want to not get wreckedyou’d better get your facts correct. Like, “Mothere,” friend,is not a wordthat Geoffrey Chau-cer ever heard.*(*”Mooder” would be period-accurate, and also a good cow word.)What’s more, the “eight-teenth century”has zip to do with, um, “M.E.”And it’s not spelled“diameter.”What are you, pal,an amateur? I am not Chauceror John Donnebut if you tryto spoil my funwith words you learnedin English class – don’t come for me. I’ll kik yur ass. I don’t think someone who thinks Middle English happened in the seventeenth century ought to be schooling others. “17th/18th century middle English” My name is Geoff,John Chaucer’s sonne,and I my lyfe’scours have runne.Engelish tongesare now divers,so pedants, kis my naked ers
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