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Club, Saw, and Tumblr: "Don't Forget
That Alcohol
Helps To
Remove
The Stress
The Bra.
The Panties
And Many
Other Problems.
laughoutloud-club:
Saw this words of wisdom on my local bar
laughoutloud-club: Saw this words of wisdom on my local bar
![Fall, Funny, and Lol: [At a bar]
Guy: Did it hurt?
What?
G: When you fell walking in. I saw you
fall on your face. Everyone saw
Me:
Lol me 😰](https://pics.me.me/thumb_at-a-bar-guy-did-it-hurt-what-g-when-36829762.png)
Dank, Dude, and Twitter: stef schwartz, but scary
@stefschwartz
last night at the bar a man tried to grab
me by the shoulder to ask if he could
buy me a drink and his friend was like
"nah dude you can't just kavanaugh
her like that."
anyway that's the second time i've
heard it used as a verb by a man this
week.
Let’s get this in the dictionary.
(via @stefschwartz on Twitter)
Let’s get this in the dictionary. (via @stefschwartz on Twitter)
Funny, Girl, and Witn: When you haven't even got to the bar
yet with your boys and your girl already
broke up witn you T/ times
Gods plan😐 girlsthinkimfunnytwitter itsover thirstythursday breakuptomakeup
Gods plan😐 girlsthinkimfunnytwitter itsover thirstythursday breakuptomakeup
Clothes, Drinking, and Friends: maura quint
@behindyourback
maura quint@behindyourback 13h v
One time a guy and I had flirted, he invited
me to his room, I went we kissed, I said I
liked it, he took off his clothes, I touched
him, he tried to take off my clothes, I
resisted, he said "seems like you're not
into this" I said, ehhh, he said, no, it's only
fun if you want it
I want to tell a story: Once in high
school, I felt insecure, I put on a
tight top too low cut and dark lip
stick I didn't usually wear. I went to
a party drank terrible wine coolers,
too many of them. A man asked
me if I wanted to leave, I slurred,
said maybe, He said "mavbe"?
7:33 PM-28 Sep 18
459 8,068
maura quint@behindyourback 13h v
I said, l'm sorry, he said it's ok. I left
unmolested. I was lucky, I hadn't met a
rapist that night.
419 8,872
maura quint@behindyourback 13h
And then he said "maybe isn't yes" and I
went home that night, un-assaulted,
because l hadn't talked to a rapist at that
party
15t745 13.2K
maura quint@behindyourback 13h v
l've been assaulted. I've also been not
assaulted. The difference didn't seem to
be what I was wearing, how flirty I was,
how much I was drinking. The only
difference seemed to be whether or not
the men felt it was ok or not to assault.
maura quint@behindyourback 13h v
Another story:I went out drinking with girl
friends at a bar a few years later. I was
flirting with a guy there, he grabbed my
hand, pulled me outside, into an alley, he
kissed me hard and then looked at me
and said, "yes?" I didn't say anything.
274
6,408 43.9K
4
394
6,368 0
maura quint@behindyourback 13h v
He said "go back inside then," maybe he
was annoyed but he meant it, I went back
inside. There wasn't a rapist at that bar.
t 435 9,323
The real nice guys
The real nice guys
Fucking, Funny, and Girls: @curryspic3
a friend and I were in a public washroom
at a bar last night and she said "shit l
want to text my ex" and 3 different girls
in the bathroom stalls screamed out
"don't fucking text your ex"
Always have each other’s backs girls🙌🏻😅 via @belindamceyebrow TwitterCreds: curryspic3
Always have each other’s backs girls🙌🏻😅 via @belindamceyebrow TwitterCreds: curryspic3
Definitely, San Diego, and Relatable: Hard Kombucha Bar
San Diego, CA
for all the places you didn't know about but definitely have to go to, follow 👉 @bringme 😊
for all the places you didn't know about but definitely have to go to, follow 👉 @bringme 😊
Bad, Family, and Life: Guy Matthews
Just now .
Got talking to a doorman at the bar I was running the
other night. Kurdish chap. Came over here 5 years
ago, before stuff got really bad in Syria. He worked in
one of those hand car wash places for years. Paid his
debts off and paid for his SIA course and license. Just
put a deposit down on a house, got a wife and a baby
on the way. Nice bloke.
Stories like that are what make me proud to be British.
None of this send em all back, I want my country
back, all Muslims are terrorists bullshit that the Britain
First and EDL fascists like to spout. The fact that my
country took in a man who was fleeing possibly the
most horrific warzone on the planet and gave him the
chance to have a normal life. Nothing remarkable, just
a good, honest life and the security to raise a family.
That's what makes Britain great. We must never, ever
lose that.
Wholesome Land of opportunity
Wholesome Land of opportunity
Bad, Family, and Life: Guy Matthews
Just now .
Got talking to a doorman at the bar I was running the
other night. Kurdish chap. Came over here 5 years
ago, before stuff got really bad in Syria. He worked in
one of those hand car wash places for years. Paid his
debts off and paid for his SIA course and license. Just
put a deposit down on a house, got a wife and a baby
on the way. Nice bloke.
Stories like that are what make me proud to be British.
None of this send em all back, I want my country
back, all Muslims are terrorists bullshit that the Britain
First and EDL fascists like to spout. The fact that my
country took in a man who was fleeing possibly the
most horrific warzone on the planet and gave him the
chance to have a normal life. Nothing remarkable, just
a good, honest life and the security to raise a family.
That's what makes Britain great. We must never, ever
lose that.
Wholesome Land of opportunity via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2OdutvR
Wholesome Land of opportunity via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2OdutvR
![Be Like, Bless Up, and Chill: When you're a good boy on vacation and
your owners let you up on the hotel bed
@DrSmashlove
(Sound on 🔊) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and the bed is made and there isn’t laundry everywhere 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂😂 “wowwwwww smash with the FOULNESS today FIRST of all SOME LADIES WORK. A JOB. WE LEAVE QUICKLY AND CANT MAKE THE BED. WE GOTTA APPLY MAKE UP. WE GOTTA DO HAIR. WE GOTTA LOOK PRESENTABLE. U AINT GOT THAT STRESS. HALF THE MEN I WORK WITH DONT EVEN BATHE IN THE AM WITCHOE PERSNICKETY DEMANDING A$$ IF 👏 U 👏 SO 👏 DEMANDING 👏 THEN 👏 MAKE 👏 MY 👏 BED 👏 THEN 👏 LAY 👏 IN 👏 IT 👏 D!CKFACE 👏. LOOKIN A$$ 😤.” Yep. Like I said baby. Make ya bed “IT TAKE ONLY THREE MINUTE” *my haunting mama’s voice* BLESS UP 😍😂😂 [Editor’s Note: shout to u ladies who be like “WELL. I really want you to come up 😌. But my place is a mess LOL!” Me: *shannon sharpe voice* “THAT AIN NO PRAHBLEM! That ain’t no problem 😊.” Girl: “LOL OKAYYYY NO JUDGING THO! Lolol!” Me: *judges vigorously in secret* 🤗😂. Second editor’s note: “wowwwww smash is a h0e and not only that a judgmental h0e where did this come from? He was fake woke?!! Guess he’s just another worthless man now.” Me: y’all really need to chill and let me off the leash occasionally all my sisters is brilliant and they all got careers and guess what, busy women ain’t trying to impress no cot damn man sometimes u gotta do a catch-up clean on the wknd LET ME TEASE YALL SOMETIMES I AM STILL AN ALLY LMAO SOMETIMES I JUST GOT JOKES ALSO THE h0e LABEL REALLY DO BE HURTING MY FEELINGS I PREFER ‘sensually exploratory by disposition’ (SEBD) THAT MAKE ME FEEL A LIL BETTER BLESS BLESS 👏 UP 👏😂😂😂]](https://pics.me.me/thumb_when-youre-a-good-boy-on-vacation-and-your-owners-36577268.png)
Italian (Language), Devo, and Single: Ascolta devo chiederti una
cosa importante
Dimmi tutto
Ho visto che conosci una certa
Maddalena che studia
economia, ti ho anche visto
una volta parlare con lei al bar
dell'università.. siccome trovo
che sia una ragazza molto
carina e mi interessa molto
volevo chiederti se è single e
se potresti presentarmela
E la mia ragazza
Ciao e grazie
Ciao e grazie.
Ciao e grazie.
Chilis, Parents, and Work: bel @bellalawtonn 1d
The boys I nanny for just asked me where
I work and I didnt have the heart to tell
them their parents pay me to hang out
with them so now they think I work at
Chili's
, Chili's Grill & Bar
@Chilis
Replying to @bellalawtonn
Here is that super important
documentation we were talking
about from very important people
here at Chili's. #ChilisLove
TIFICATION SENPLOYMENT
THIS DOCUMENT HEREBY CE TiFIES
Bella Lauton
works for us, Chili's, and is one of the best employees ever,
so you should listen to her and do everything she says
iga
Very Important People from Chiti's
Not a lie anymore! via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2xPFRDN
Not a lie anymore! via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2xPFRDN
Chilis, Parents, and Work: bel @bellalawtonn 1d
The boys I nanny for just asked me where
I work and I didnt have the heart to tell
them their parents pay me to hang out
with them so now they think I work at
Chili's
412 42.8K 402K
Chili's Grill & Bar
@Chilis
Replying to @bellalawtonn
Here is that super important
documentation we were talking
about from very important people
here at Chili's. #ChilisLove
CATION EMPLOYMENT
THIS DOCUMENT HEREBY CERTIFIES
Bella Hawton
works for us, Chili's, and is one of the best employees ever
so you should listen to her and do everything she says
Sncerely
Very Important People from Chili's
ifunny.ce
Chilis helping out a babysitter :)
Chilis helping out a babysitter :)
