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Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

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Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

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Heaven, Jesus, and Saw: F THE WORLD WAS CREATED B A PROGRAMMER Br O toggl IN THE BEGINNING, AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, & W ITHOUT DOCUMENTATION THERE WAS THE HEAVEN NoT g0OD AND THE EARTH THEN You SAID Y "LET THERE BE GHT! YOU CREATE A HACK TO CREATE DARKNESS You So THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND NEED TO HIDE THE LAND BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WON T BE ADDED UNTIL LATER BUT THE LIGHT DID NOT COMPILE. ㄇ AND STACKOVE SAID IT S FINE BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, E SECOND DA YOU MERGE WATER LIGHT 8REAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALLY YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW FLOODED (IN THE DARKNESS IT'S THE THIRD DAY YOU TRY TO ADD CREA YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUTBROWSER NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER, THERE'S No LAND WIToTCH UNFORTUNATELY BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT TO MENTION THAT USING CODKIES, MAKES THEM MORTAL LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAV LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE WATER IT's THE FOURTH DAY. You DECIDE TO USE C+You ALSO USE STL TURNS OUT THE ISSU WERE CAUSED BY THE FLAT EARTH DESIGN TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WITH No OMPLICATIONS WHATSoEVER! IT'S THE FIFTH DAY YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES THEM IN YoUR LIKENESS, You START ADDINGWHICH IS A MISTAKE PEOPLE TO HELP REACT REACT JESUS REACT FUCKIT.JS JQUERY ON THE SIXTH DAY You ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE You LOOK AT THE PROGRAMMING,BUT IT IS TOO LATE- CHAOS YOU CREATED EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. HORIZON DAY DAYTIME AIR.JS SEA. JS BASE.JS UND. JS BETTER BANKS. JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YoU REALLY WANT TO REST BUT You NEED TO OKGANISE ALL YoU'VE CREAT MONGODB TOGGL.COM MART VIRKUS.I? Can relate to most of this :/
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Apple, Fresh, and Frozen: Hom fo mahe a smoothie Behold, the smoothie. A meal in a glass. And not just any meal. A fast one too. And done right, packed with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants healthy fats and so much more. Not only nutritious, but super delicious. Replace a meal such as breakfast or use it as a supplement or Stay healthy, lose weight, gain weight. Adapt it anyway you There's so much more to smoothies than fruit, yogurt and Here's how to make a smoothie- awesomel 1 ADD FRUIT Choose at least 2 types of fruit- fresh or frozen. And for a super healthy smoothie - make it green, adding vegetables such as kale, spinach & arugula Barana BerriesPearl apple WatermelonPeach SpinachKale ugulaBoet greens Dandeion greens 2 CHOOSE A BASE Add 1 2 Cups of liquid. The more juice your chosen fr have, the less liquid you need to add Fruit juiceIced coffee ced green tea Wator ricel almond soy mik water/ mik 3 THICKEN UP Thicken your smoothie to get the right consistencyl creaminess whilst making it more nutritious Nut buter Yogurt/k e cream (e.g peanut) cottage cheese frozen yogurt cubes CoounutChiasood Oata meat poylium busksbeans 4 FLAVOR IT Boost flavor with sweeteners, spices, fruits and herbs. Spices such as cinnamon add a layer of sweetness, without adding extra calories Honay Figs Dates Vanilal almond extract Nutmeg (eg minu basi) 5 POWER BOOST Take your smoothie to the next level with highly nutritive superfoods Protein powder Fish ol Goj berries Sprouts Ground flaxsends VitaminSpirulnal powderwhealgrass aair green powderpowder you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie

srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie

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Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so l just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back. I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that's where my desk was, and it didn't occur to me to ask. Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and never told anyone I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was stil extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught. I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball feral-renaissance-cat I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn't work as well as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that), but that's not the point Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I have a crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crushl And?" Dude turns around and yells to my crush "Hey! She has a crush on you!" My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks." So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires darkhumourandfandoms One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot lycant-guy22 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of "fucks given" biggest-gaudiest-patronuses damn right we did Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
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Android, Apple, and Complex: Phoebe News @holiestbritney Then why do android snapchat stories look like surveillance tapes #KanyeForPresident @The. Man94 Apple giving y'all 12mpxl cameras in 2016 and Samsung gave us 16mpxl cameras in 2013 lol someone is getting duped 9/9/15, 2:54 PM 2,040 RETWEETS 1,646 FAVORITES drakeshady: I know most people don’t care, but here’s the real answer. Snapchat built a shitty Android app. On iOS, Snapchat uses the phone’s camera directly to take a picture, ensuring the highest possible quality. On Android, Snapchat opens the camera, but then takes a screenshot, instead of telling the camera to take a picture. This means that the camera never gets to adjust it’s focus and lighting, or provide stabilization to the picture. Instead, you get the best that shaky human hands can get, which means low quality pictures. Due to the popularity of Snapchat, this difference actually spreads the superiority complex of iOS. Android manufacturers have been innovating new hardware since the creation of cell phones. Apple only upgrades when they’re worried about being seen as outdated, or they need “new features” to push their phone. It also shows that iPhones are a status symbol, that have no reason to be as expensive as they are. To be fair to Apple, they’ve built a consistent ecosystem. If you have an iPhone, you can pick up any other iPhone and know how it works. Android is different by design however, with literally anyone free to modify it as they want to. Whether that is to fit certain hardware, or add new features, or meet a specific artistic design, Android has more total devices, support for more hardware configurations (even laptops) and is available for anyone to use however they want. Snapchat made a deliberate poor design decision, and should shoulder the blame for their shitty app. But that would require supporting the largest userbase in the world over their elite base of iPhone users.
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God, Ignorant, and Love: HE WO MAN FE MALE HU MAN PER SON visual-poetry »swofehuperx by richard tipping (+) [vial mitosisisyourtosis men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their biological inferiority and general superfluousness this is not just the natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture rhysiare Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me ache something terrible. In my linguistics dass in undergrad, we actually made fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason, because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do. 1 She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto- Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for thishere, Your idea of patriarchal language further falls apart when you compare this part of English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the words in German for he and she are 'er and sie", completely unrelated So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the words he and "she in English have similar form. 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to mean humanity/human being, the old words in Old English for male adult person and female adult person were werman and wifman respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as being the remnants of the base "wer- and the base wif-. Woman evolved phonologically from the word wifman by natural processes where the 'f sound dropped and the became lax. Man dropped its wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have nothing to do with patriarchy because phonological change has no basis in that. 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle which meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well femella which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as such 4 Hman: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo- European "ghomon which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for man in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at this point. Person derives from persona from Latin which meant the same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu Etruscan for mask as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person have any meaning to do with son So yes, this IS the natural order or language. Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do fact checking I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in vour lane. Swofehuper He Man Male Manson
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