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cumaeansibyl: copperbadge: jmathieson-fic: carbon-ate: please listen to this guy from Chicago ague with this snake @copperbadge a) This dude has definitely either broken up a fight at 2am outside a bar in Little Warsaw or legit used the phrase “But he’s okay, he’s South Side Irish” to vouch for someone, probably both b) The whole thing is very Chicago but the MOST Chicago part of this entire video is where he has finally seen the snake off into the brush and calls, “Take it easy, buddy, sorry to ruin your afternoon!” before the film cuts out.   “It’s not like that, all right? We’re keepin it civil” Chicago has a kind of benevolent belligerence that I really enjoy like who else is going to call a snake a “delicate bastard” : cumaeansibyl: copperbadge: jmathieson-fic: carbon-ate: please listen to this guy from Chicago ague with this snake @copperbadge a) This dude has definitely either broken up a fight at 2am outside a bar in Little Warsaw or legit used the phrase “But he’s okay, he’s South Side Irish” to vouch for someone, probably both b) The whole thing is very Chicago but the MOST Chicago part of this entire video is where he has finally seen the snake off into the brush and calls, “Take it easy, buddy, sorry to ruin your afternoon!” before the film cuts out.   “It’s not like that, all right? We’re keepin it civil” Chicago has a kind of benevolent belligerence that I really enjoy like who else is going to call a snake a “delicate bastard”
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inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
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tricky-bastard-pokemon: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: goldentail1: joybates: theres-no-going-home: lastvalyrian: enbyasha: socialistexan: paxamericana: fucking freaks if you’d put this into a movie for any other country it would be universally understood they are an evil fascist regime wHAt do you mean these guys PLEDGE their ALLEGIANCE to the flag?? Every day?? Kids have to do it every day at school, every morning at summer camp, I even had to do it at church as a kid. It’s very normal in America. I thought it was a bit odd at the time but I didn’t realize quite how strange the flag worship was until I got older. We never did this in germany. Never did this in england.When i first moved to the US, i had no idea what was going on. I *had* to learn it. I couldn’t sit out on it, and so i struggled through the words.I now don’t say it when I don’t need too. This is why people dont trust America Would you pull something like that in Germany you would be on 20 Government watch lists immediately on the suspect of being a Nazi i always rebelled by twisting the words. ahem:“I pledge allegiance,to the flagof the United States of Americaand to the Republicfor which it standsOne nationUnder moneywith liberty and justice for some.” Nice: tricky-bastard-pokemon: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: goldentail1: joybates: theres-no-going-home: lastvalyrian: enbyasha: socialistexan: paxamericana: fucking freaks if you’d put this into a movie for any other country it would be universally understood they are an evil fascist regime wHAt do you mean these guys PLEDGE their ALLEGIANCE to the flag?? Every day?? Kids have to do it every day at school, every morning at summer camp, I even had to do it at church as a kid. It’s very normal in America. I thought it was a bit odd at the time but I didn’t realize quite how strange the flag worship was until I got older. We never did this in germany. Never did this in england.When i first moved to the US, i had no idea what was going on. I *had* to learn it. I couldn’t sit out on it, and so i struggled through the words.I now don’t say it when I don’t need too. This is why people dont trust America Would you pull something like that in Germany you would be on 20 Government watch lists immediately on the suspect of being a Nazi i always rebelled by twisting the words. ahem:“I pledge allegiance,to the flagof the United States of Americaand to the Republicfor which it standsOne nationUnder moneywith liberty and justice for some.” Nice
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themauveroom: distractedbyshinyobjects: mewjounouchi: khoshekh-yourself: catsuitmonarchy: optimysticals: vancity604778kid: ultrafacts: Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog! ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie.  So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt? Well I have a new hero. Her whole wikipedia article is gold “When her father was governor of New York, he and his wife proposed that Alice attend a conservative school for girls in New York City. Pulling out all the stops, Alice wrote, ‘If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will.’” “Her father took office in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley, Jr. in Buffalo (an event that she greeted with “sheer rapture.”)“ “During the cruise to Japan, Alice jumped into the ship’s pool fully clothed, and coaxed a congressman to join her in the water. (Years later Bobby Kennedy would chide her about the incident, saying it was outrageous for the time, to which the by-then-octogenarian Alice replied that it would only have been outrageous had she removed her clothes.” “She was dressed in a blue wedding dress and dramatically cut the wedding cake with a sword (borrowed from a military aide attending the reception)” “When it came time for the Roosevelt family to move out of the White House, Alice buried a Voodoo doll of the new First Lady, Nellie Taft, in the front yard.” “Later, the Taft White House banned her from her former residence—the first but not the last administration to do so. During Woodrow Wilson’s administration (from which she was banned in 1916 for a bawdy joke at Wilson’s expense)…” “As an example of her attitudes on race, in 1965 her African-American chauffeur and one of her best friends, Turner, was driving Alice to an appointment. During the trip, he pulled out in front of a taxi, and the driver got out and demanded to know of him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” Turner took the insult calmly, but Alice did not and told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!” “To Senator Joseph McCarthy, who had jokingly remarked at a party “Here’s my blind date. I am going to call you Alice”, she sarcastically said “Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trashman and the policeman on my block call me Alice, but you may not.” I love this woman. WOMEN WHO NEED FUCKEN MOVIES. This is Alice as an older lady. The pillow says “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”  She is my absolute favorite.  : themauveroom: distractedbyshinyobjects: mewjounouchi: khoshekh-yourself: catsuitmonarchy: optimysticals: vancity604778kid: ultrafacts: Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog! ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie.  So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt? Well I have a new hero. Her whole wikipedia article is gold “When her father was governor of New York, he and his wife proposed that Alice attend a conservative school for girls in New York City. Pulling out all the stops, Alice wrote, ‘If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will.’” “Her father took office in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley, Jr. in Buffalo (an event that she greeted with “sheer rapture.”)“ “During the cruise to Japan, Alice jumped into the ship’s pool fully clothed, and coaxed a congressman to join her in the water. (Years later Bobby Kennedy would chide her about the incident, saying it was outrageous for the time, to which the by-then-octogenarian Alice replied that it would only have been outrageous had she removed her clothes.” “She was dressed in a blue wedding dress and dramatically cut the wedding cake with a sword (borrowed from a military aide attending the reception)” “When it came time for the Roosevelt family to move out of the White House, Alice buried a Voodoo doll of the new First Lady, Nellie Taft, in the front yard.” “Later, the Taft White House banned her from her former residence—the first but not the last administration to do so. During Woodrow Wilson’s administration (from which she was banned in 1916 for a bawdy joke at Wilson’s expense)…” “As an example of her attitudes on race, in 1965 her African-American chauffeur and one of her best friends, Turner, was driving Alice to an appointment. During the trip, he pulled out in front of a taxi, and the driver got out and demanded to know of him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” Turner took the insult calmly, but Alice did not and told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!” “To Senator Joseph McCarthy, who had jokingly remarked at a party “Here’s my blind date. I am going to call you Alice”, she sarcastically said “Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trashman and the policeman on my block call me Alice, but you may not.” I love this woman. WOMEN WHO NEED FUCKEN MOVIES. This is Alice as an older lady. The pillow says “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”  She is my absolute favorite. 
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gaygay–astronaut: gaymer0395: mypunkpansexualtwin: cisish: emiliusthegreat: onlyblackgirl: Free speech applies to government. Companies can ban whoever they want, provided they aren’t a protected class. Nazis are far from a protected class. So suck it, Nazi scumbags. 🖕🏻 @staff @staff Conservatives: We need a free market where companies can do what they want Companies: *does exactly that by ban white supremacists and nazis* Conservatives: Not like that, I’m being oppressed, my first amendment is being attacked! Free speech also only means the government can’t punish/censor you for expressing your views UNLESS your views fall under hate-speech or you express them with violence - both things that white supremacy falls under. So if the government wanted they totally could punish every last neo nazi bastard for sharing their beliefs in public : gaygay–astronaut: gaymer0395: mypunkpansexualtwin: cisish: emiliusthegreat: onlyblackgirl: Free speech applies to government. Companies can ban whoever they want, provided they aren’t a protected class. Nazis are far from a protected class. So suck it, Nazi scumbags. 🖕🏻 @staff @staff Conservatives: We need a free market where companies can do what they want Companies: *does exactly that by ban white supremacists and nazis* Conservatives: Not like that, I’m being oppressed, my first amendment is being attacked! Free speech also only means the government can’t punish/censor you for expressing your views UNLESS your views fall under hate-speech or you express them with violence - both things that white supremacy falls under. So if the government wanted they totally could punish every last neo nazi bastard for sharing their beliefs in public
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cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azumariko: he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name. I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.  kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate. palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino ‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.  ‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch. peers under a couch This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while. : cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azumariko: he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name. I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.  kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate. palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino ‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.  ‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch. peers under a couch This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.
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taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”.: UZIL SRAAK WILL BRANDISH OUR HEADS BEFORE THE QUEEN. OUR MISSION LIES BELOW. THIS IS TREASON. ONLY IF YOu TELL HIM WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? NO. WHATEVER SLUDGE FILLS YOUR SKULL CAN TELL INTERESTING STORIES, BUT I'M CERTAIN IT'S NOT CONNECTED TO A FUCKING TRINITY OF MYSTICAL SLEEPING WORMS I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT YOUR PROPHECIES LEAKED OUT FROM THE IMULSION CORROSION IN YOUR BRAIN. FUCK THE TRINITY! I'VE A MORE GLORIOUS DEATH IN MIND YOU'VE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT BROTHER? CONTINUE TO OFFEND THE .GODS WITH HERESY, AND I DOUBT THEY WILL SLEEP MUCH LONGER I WOULD HAVE THE BLOODIED VANGUARD TASTE VICTORY. DRINK HOT BLOOD FROM AN ENEMY CRUSHED BY FEAR BEFORE ITS MISERABLE DEATH THEY HAVE NO IMAGINATION FOR THE ENEMY THAT MARCHES BELOW THE MINDLESS ABOMINATIONS CAN HAVE THE HOLLOW. THIS IS OUR FUTURE EATE OUR FATE エ'LL STAND WITH YOu. I REFUSE TO BE CLAIMED BY A PITIFUL END MAD BASTARD. NO, SKORGE. WE WILL COME TO A RIGHTEOUS ONE WHERE DO WE BEGIN? A SMALL MATTER OF MARCHING OUR COMPANY TO THE INNER HOLLOW, CUTTING THROUGH UZIL SRAAK AND HIS HORDE OF THERON ELITE AND GAINING AN AUDIENCE WITH THE QUEEN HERSELF AN INTERESTING PLOT... AND YET. I HAVE A BETTER PLAN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE STOOD NEXT TO MY MAGGOTS AND SHOWN THE HOW IT'S DONE. TRINITY'S ROTTED CORPSE RAAM... I SAID NEGOTIATE. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I HAD ATTAINED NEAR DIVINE PRIVILEGE PROMISING ACOLYTE OF THE KANTUS. EXCLUSIVE QUARTERS. BREEDING RIGHTS, EVEN. CАНАНАНА! ONLY FUCKING I SEE NOW IS BY PRUDGE TENTACLES YOUR HUBRIS iS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME! taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”.
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cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azumariko: he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name. I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.  kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate. palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino ‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.  ‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch. peers under a couch This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while. : Unknown to Kenobi, he was also being rigorously hunted ortured several Jedi in order to find kenobi's whereabouts, and sparing no expense to do This would work to Vader's disadvantage, however cupcakeshakesnake: thesouthernjedi: roachpatrol: ghostymcspooky: soloontherocks: notanotherreyloblog: thebaconsandwichofregret: azumariko: he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name. I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.  kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate. palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino ‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.  ‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch. peers under a couch This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.
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siryouarebeingmocked: smis-five-creedmoor: kongu2525: someoneintheshadow456: thenightling: pileofknives: honeybubb: me #can’t believe this movie is from 1998 It’s like y'all think people didn’t talk about shit before 2008. It’s because the “Woke” generation likes to pretend they invented inclusiveness and feminism. When I was in Kindergarten (in 1986) the school librarian read us a book about why it’s important to let little boys play with dolls and own dolls if they want them.   Again, this was in 1986 but that somehow blows the minds of this generation.  How did we go so backward that these things from our past surprise them?  I’ve seen kids try to argue how “unrealistic” Stranger Things and Stephen King’s It were because it had white kids friends with a black boy and how “that didn’t happen back then.”    And I’m sitting here like “Where do you think all your interracial friends came from?   Spawned from cabbages?”   Stephen King wrote “It” in 1986 and based it on the dynamic of real friendships he had in the 1950s. When my parents were in 6th grade they had a drawing teacher who was a pedophile. One day he reached under a girls shirt and pinched her breasts and the boys started screaming at him and throwing objects. Their antics alerted the principal, and the boys told him everything and the pedo bastard got fired. THIS WAS IN INDIA IN THE 70s. EVEN BACK THEN 10-12 YEAR OLD BOYS UNDERSTOOD THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT WAS BAD. People didn’t live in caves and go “unga bunga rape is totes good” and then suddenly change 10 years ago. Because the media keeps acting like we dont already know its bad, they keep pushing the woke agenda when its been normal to call out sexist crap and to not be racist for years now. Lots of whites marched alongside MLK during the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Because they too saw the bullshit that was Jim Crow Laws. Not being racist is nothing new. I think a lot of activists want to think they’re plucky rebels.I see lots of them who get outright upset when someone goes “the world is less prejudiced than you think”. I’m still reeling from the fact that apparently people don’t think black kids and white kids were friends in the fucking 80s? Like 50s I could at least get the assumption but the 80s???: LET'S NOT DO ANY GENDER STEREOTYPING. siryouarebeingmocked: smis-five-creedmoor: kongu2525: someoneintheshadow456: thenightling: pileofknives: honeybubb: me #can’t believe this movie is from 1998 It’s like y'all think people didn’t talk about shit before 2008. It’s because the “Woke” generation likes to pretend they invented inclusiveness and feminism. When I was in Kindergarten (in 1986) the school librarian read us a book about why it’s important to let little boys play with dolls and own dolls if they want them.   Again, this was in 1986 but that somehow blows the minds of this generation.  How did we go so backward that these things from our past surprise them?  I’ve seen kids try to argue how “unrealistic” Stranger Things and Stephen King’s It were because it had white kids friends with a black boy and how “that didn’t happen back then.”    And I’m sitting here like “Where do you think all your interracial friends came from?   Spawned from cabbages?”   Stephen King wrote “It” in 1986 and based it on the dynamic of real friendships he had in the 1950s. When my parents were in 6th grade they had a drawing teacher who was a pedophile. One day he reached under a girls shirt and pinched her breasts and the boys started screaming at him and throwing objects. Their antics alerted the principal, and the boys told him everything and the pedo bastard got fired. THIS WAS IN INDIA IN THE 70s. EVEN BACK THEN 10-12 YEAR OLD BOYS UNDERSTOOD THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT WAS BAD. People didn’t live in caves and go “unga bunga rape is totes good” and then suddenly change 10 years ago. Because the media keeps acting like we dont already know its bad, they keep pushing the woke agenda when its been normal to call out sexist crap and to not be racist for years now. Lots of whites marched alongside MLK during the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Because they too saw the bullshit that was Jim Crow Laws. Not being racist is nothing new. I think a lot of activists want to think they’re plucky rebels.I see lots of them who get outright upset when someone goes “the world is less prejudiced than you think”. I’m still reeling from the fact that apparently people don’t think black kids and white kids were friends in the fucking 80s? Like 50s I could at least get the assumption but the 80s???
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