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Humans are the urban fae: 61below tumblr Follow lovelylilpup prokopetz I've seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads to young trapped down a storm drain, and it's gotten me to thinking On the one hand, it's kind of fascinating that they know to do that. On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we've got a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with the step "if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe they'll fix the problem for no reason"? roachpatrol well, come to think of it, we're at the top of the food chain but we almost exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban environment because they're opportunistic and observant. and almost none of them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and chase them out of wherever we don't want them to be, but other animals are territorial too. but there's a number of situations where humans feed whoever's bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. 'a human got me but nothing bad happened' is a much more frequent thing than 'a human got me and tried to eat me anyway like, we're masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on to their kids. tsfennec It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they're predators, and they get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff... but given the chance it seems like they'd rather help us out and sometimes they'll just randomly give you food, so??? I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we've got our fair share of stories about dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So it's not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really It's just that, y'know, we can't actually go make a deal with the faeries when there's something we can't figure out Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in the human world- and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe for either themselves or us. Hmm.) sapphicaquarius Okay, but that last bit with the Fae... makes almost perfect sense Of the stories I've read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often strange and/or obscure- Just like our food to most animals. The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals. The Fae work and live by strange rules also ofen nonsensical or obscure to us Just like us to animals. The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals. The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals. GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN.... -they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the correct respects right is banishment, if you're lucky, and death if you're not -they have wild and unexpected parties where you'd least expect to find them, but if you're bold enough to entertain them they'll feed you and caress you and play with you all night time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summeriands: warm and bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again. -their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their own rules you will access riches beyond imagining. sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads -they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return-if they ever do-they will come back strange. they will know things they shouldn't. they won't know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own but they will always be marked by their time away from your world. the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes your whole community if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish. oceaxereturns My eyes just got wider and wider the further down I read. Source:prokopetz #story feels #fae 71,904 notes Humans are the urban fae
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<p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165694169733/i-am-your-northern-star-dear-tumb1r" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://i-am-your-northern-star.tumblr.com/post/165693494927/dear-tumb1r-krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad" class="tumblr_blog">i-am-your-northern-star</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dear-tumb1r.tumblr.com/post/165688769552/krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad-kedreeva" class="tumblr_blog">dear-tumb1r</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://krakenpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/165684582701/crimsonclad-kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">krakenpocalypse</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://crimsonclad.tumblr.com/post/165654725553/kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">crimsonclad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kedreeva.tumblr.com/post/165653905615/palpablenotion-speedforcesensitive" class="tumblr_blog">kedreeva</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://palpablenotion.tumblr.com/post/165166115235/speedforcesensitive-satanstruemistress" class="tumblr_blog">palpablenotion</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://speedforcesensitive.tumblr.com/post/165165767368/satanstruemistress-vinato71-dustypumpkin" class="tumblr_blog">speedforcesensitive</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://satanstruemistress.tumblr.com/post/165022766332/vinato71-dustypumpkin-rossmallo" class="tumblr_blog">satanstruemistress</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://vinato71.tumblr.com/post/161293956968/dustypumpkin-rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">vinato71</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dustypumpkin.tumblr.com/post/160300743192/rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">dustypumpkin</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://rossmallo.tumblr.com/post/160299092775/thehornedwitch-thesocialjusticecourier" class="tumblr_blog">rossmallo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/160275346862/thesocialjusticecourier-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thesocialjusticecourier.tumblr.com/post/160263273220/thehornedwitch-somejane-namesnotfred" class="tumblr_blog">thesocialjusticecourier</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/159933662002/somejane-namesnotfred-gimmeacoldbeer" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://somejane.tumblr.com/post/109645584967">somejane</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://namesnotfred.tumblr.com/post/109005051111">namesnotfred</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gimmeacoldbeer.tumblr.com/post/72414064607">gimmeacoldbeer</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kijikun.tumblr.com/post/72255066968">kijikun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://striderwolf.tumblr.com/post/71894869320">striderwolf</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazyqueerclassicist.tumblr.com/post/71587090064">crazyqueerclassicist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://north-american-weesnaw.tumblr.com/post/71571039829">north-american-weesnaw</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://friso1990.tumblr.com/post/71570538840">friso1990</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://catsteaks.tumblr.com/post/71409852369">catsteaks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gorreality.tumblr.com/post/70881833496">gorreality</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>“I can’t be vegan, I love cheese”</p> <p>Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese? </p> <p>GO VEGAN. </p> </blockquote> <p><i><b>WRONG</b></i></p> <p>That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.</p> <p>This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.</p> <p>Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.</p> </blockquote> <p>…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?</p> </blockquote> <p>Militant vegans can fuck right off</p> </blockquote> <p>Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older.  Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).</p> <p>Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum.  They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.</p> <p>In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows.  Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working.  I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment.  So,<b> nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty</b>.</p> <p>Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed.  Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected.  I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for educational purposes.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for people being schooled</p> </blockquote> <p>This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you. </p> </blockquote> <p>I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda. </p> <p>Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg. </p> <p>So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too. </p> </blockquote> <p><figure class="" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_owsrk62QTZ1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"/></figure></p> <p>P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!</p> </blockquote> <p>Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head.<br/>Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.</p> </blockquote> <h2>“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-tumblr-attribution="vegemaryam-blog-blog:dHMFQoiSWHRFiB-ADut1Hg:Z5ZE3yG4v53k" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/058afa51d891f3ae78ad77a706d4294e/tumblr_inline_owsrk7X9bI1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"/></figure><p>I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mE-H1ppiBm7u2G5sYjEGAxg">@thehornedwitch</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Happy to explain!<br/>See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y'know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham.<br/>Anyway, back to the mouse.<br/>One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen.<br/>All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM.<br/>Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing.<br/>By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly.<br/>Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.<br/>They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim.<br/>Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.</p> </blockquote> <p>Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again. </p> </blockquote> <p>Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying</p> </blockquote> <p>Will I’m using it as a compliment</p> </blockquote> <p>I love farm animals.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”<br/></p> <p>If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again. </p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mbqnkKs3SqeMl1_0xhazmyQ">@kedreeva</a></p> </blockquote> <p>I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got <i>stories</i>.</p> <p> I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to <i>eat herself</i> because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself. <br/></p> <p>Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.</p> <p>I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean <i>destroy</i>. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.</p> <p>Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. <i>They are still dinosaurs</i>.</p> <p>Thankfully they are small dinosaurs</p> <p>and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/acee3cfaed48d9fef00fcee900d458d3/tumblr_inline_owsrk7C8Bg1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"/></figure></blockquote> <p>BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels</p> </blockquote> <p>Now I feel less guilty about eating chicken. It’s just pre-emptive self defense.</p> </blockquote> <p>Its also preemptive self defense to eat pigs because they will knock you over and eat you alive </p> </blockquote> <p>I had a friend in New Zealand who has some chickens (and one turkey named Pablo) on her land. One day she looked out her window to discover that Pablo had killed one of the hens, and kept returning to mutilate the body. There were chicken parts everywhere. He would drag what was left of the hen around the yard like he was proud of his work. They ended up getting rid of Pablo. </p> </blockquote> <p>WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT CHICKENS WERE SWEET LITTLE FLUFFS WHAT IS THIS SHIT</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh no, Birdy. Chickens are kind of evil. My dad still has a scar on his hand from being pecked by a chicken when he was six.</p>: Motherhood denied Breaking the mother-calf bond is fundamental to all forms of dairy farming. <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165694169733/i-am-your-northern-star-dear-tumb1r" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://i-am-your-northern-star.tumblr.com/post/165693494927/dear-tumb1r-krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad" class="tumblr_blog">i-am-your-northern-star</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dear-tumb1r.tumblr.com/post/165688769552/krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad-kedreeva" class="tumblr_blog">dear-tumb1r</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://krakenpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/165684582701/crimsonclad-kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">krakenpocalypse</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://crimsonclad.tumblr.com/post/165654725553/kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">crimsonclad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kedreeva.tumblr.com/post/165653905615/palpablenotion-speedforcesensitive" class="tumblr_blog">kedreeva</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://palpablenotion.tumblr.com/post/165166115235/speedforcesensitive-satanstruemistress" class="tumblr_blog">palpablenotion</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://speedforcesensitive.tumblr.com/post/165165767368/satanstruemistress-vinato71-dustypumpkin" class="tumblr_blog">speedforcesensitive</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://satanstruemistress.tumblr.com/post/165022766332/vinato71-dustypumpkin-rossmallo" class="tumblr_blog">satanstruemistress</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://vinato71.tumblr.com/post/161293956968/dustypumpkin-rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">vinato71</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dustypumpkin.tumblr.com/post/160300743192/rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">dustypumpkin</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://rossmallo.tumblr.com/post/160299092775/thehornedwitch-thesocialjusticecourier" class="tumblr_blog">rossmallo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/160275346862/thesocialjusticecourier-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thesocialjusticecourier.tumblr.com/post/160263273220/thehornedwitch-somejane-namesnotfred" class="tumblr_blog">thesocialjusticecourier</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/159933662002/somejane-namesnotfred-gimmeacoldbeer" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://somejane.tumblr.com/post/109645584967">somejane</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://namesnotfred.tumblr.com/post/109005051111">namesnotfred</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gimmeacoldbeer.tumblr.com/post/72414064607">gimmeacoldbeer</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kijikun.tumblr.com/post/72255066968">kijikun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://striderwolf.tumblr.com/post/71894869320">striderwolf</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazyqueerclassicist.tumblr.com/post/71587090064">crazyqueerclassicist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://north-american-weesnaw.tumblr.com/post/71571039829">north-american-weesnaw</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://friso1990.tumblr.com/post/71570538840">friso1990</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://catsteaks.tumblr.com/post/71409852369">catsteaks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gorreality.tumblr.com/post/70881833496">gorreality</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>“I can’t be vegan, I love cheese”</p> <p>Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese? </p> <p>GO VEGAN. </p> </blockquote> <p><i><b>WRONG</b></i></p> <p>That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.</p> <p>This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.</p> <p>Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.</p> </blockquote> <p>…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?</p> </blockquote> <p>Militant vegans can fuck right off</p> </blockquote> <p>Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older.  Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).</p> <p>Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum.  They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.</p> <p>In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows.  Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working.  I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment.  So,<b> nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty</b>.</p> <p>Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed.  Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected.  I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for educational purposes.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for people being schooled</p> </blockquote> <p>This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you. </p> </blockquote> <p>I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda. </p> <p>Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg. </p> <p>So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too. </p> </blockquote> <p><figure class="" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_owsrk62QTZ1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"/></figure></p> <p>P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!</p> </blockquote> <p>Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head.<br/>Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.</p> </blockquote> <h2>“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-tumblr-attribution="vegemaryam-blog-blog:dHMFQoiSWHRFiB-ADut1Hg:Z5ZE3yG4v53k" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/058afa51d891f3ae78ad77a706d4294e/tumblr_inline_owsrk7X9bI1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"/></figure><p>I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mE-H1ppiBm7u2G5sYjEGAxg">@thehornedwitch</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Happy to explain!<br/>See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y'know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham.<br/>Anyway, back to the mouse.<br/>One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen.<br/>All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM.<br/>Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing.<br/>By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly.<br/>Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.<br/>They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim.<br/>Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.</p> </blockquote> <p>Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again. </p> </blockquote> <p>Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying</p> </blockquote> <p>Will I’m using it as a compliment</p> </blockquote> <p>I love farm animals.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”<br/></p> <p>If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again. </p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mbqnkKs3SqeMl1_0xhazmyQ">@kedreeva</a></p> </blockquote> <p>I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got <i>stories</i>.</p> <p> I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to <i>eat herself</i> because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself. <br/></p> <p>Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.</p> <p>I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean <i>destroy</i>. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.</p> <p>Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. <i>They are still dinosaurs</i>.</p> <p>Thankfully they are small dinosaurs</p> <p>and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/acee3cfaed48d9fef00fcee900d458d3/tumblr_inline_owsrk7C8Bg1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"/></figure></blockquote> <p>BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels</p> </blockquote> <p>Now I feel less guilty about eating chicken. It’s just pre-emptive self defense.</p> </blockquote> <p>Its also preemptive self defense to eat pigs because they will knock you over and eat you alive </p> </blockquote> <p>I had a friend in New Zealand who has some chickens (and one turkey named Pablo) on her land. One day she looked out her window to discover that Pablo had killed one of the hens, and kept returning to mutilate the body. There were chicken parts everywhere. He would drag what was left of the hen around the yard like he was proud of his work. They ended up getting rid of Pablo. </p> </blockquote> <p>WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT CHICKENS WERE SWEET LITTLE FLUFFS WHAT IS THIS SHIT</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh no, Birdy. Chickens are kind of evil. My dad still has a scar on his hand from being pecked by a chicken when he was six.</p>
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