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Apparently, Beef, and Candy: envwadams today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said thanks" and half of me tried to say you're welcome and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying your problem this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so I'll add my story for anyone else ooking for more laughs I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine and "I have to pay a fee and I walked in and firmily stated "I have to pee and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven't been back My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say quick" and tast at the same time and l ended up screaming QUACK which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn Recently someone in class asked me how was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I'm okay in the middle and ended up saying I'm gay Which, whille kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said trick or treat and I smilled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said "Merry Christmas" and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me D) I was swtching between "Bye Deanna" and "Goodbye and I ended up saying "Go Die Sometimes I try to say "I fucking love you but t comes out in the wrong order and then everyone's When I first started my coffee shop job, I was st getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, "How are you doing? and "What's up?" i ended up demanding "what are you doing here?r something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say "im so amazed but halfway through my mind changed to "that's really amazing and i just ended up saying Tm really so amazing one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say "im so pumped for the birds and iIm so hyped for the birds" and instead i said "I'm so humped for birds Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniting me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like "hello" or good morning" or cute dog" or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying thank you' I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between "my drinkr and "my keys" and ended up screaming MY KINK I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she sald have a good day, and i wanted to say "You have a good day" and "You too so it came out "You have a good do do I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ONA CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POST This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said Have a nude gay. Still haven't recovered. OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i'm often jumbled between "have a nice night and have a good day" so often it comes out as have a nice neigh or have a good date or occasionally even have a night die When I interviewed for my lab position I tried to ask how much I would have to handle the mice and rats but I was nervous so l actually said rice and mats" instead At DnD my friends and I were eating snacks, like you do. We had some chips and some beef jerky and some other stu Now one of my friends is a vegetarian, and he was steering clear of most of the meat products. Out of the corner of my eye I see my other pal offer him a bag of what I ASSUMED was jerky since that's what they were eating before- As I turned to stop him from eating "meat-what I started to say was "oh no but finished with "no dont INSTEADi wound up screaming "ODIN and crushing the harmless chip in my friends hand A friend who worked in retail once told me that their manager wanted them to respond to a thank you with "it's my pleasure instead of You're welcome and my friend messed it up and said You're my pleasure When I was sixteen, I was a lifeguard at the YMCA and you could shortcut through the pool to get to the basketbal court. A lot of hyped up kids would pass through and run on the slippery tile, so l'd have to tell them to stop. Once, I was about to yell, "DONT RUN," and tried to change it to "WALK at the last second but I ended up just bellowing "RUNI at a couple of preteens who did in fact, make for the door like they were in a horror movie Found this old thread with new stories in it. I hope people keep adding more.