Best Eclipse: FBI
August 17 at 3:36pm.
On Monday, August 21st, the United States
will experience a Total Eclipse of the sun. Here
are some helpful tips, for the best eclipse
The people of Tennessee may have the best
view, but will also be the first to be sacrificed
Animals may behave strangely. If your dog
speaks like a man, heed its dire warnings.
Don't trust the squirrel with a child's face. It
speaks only lies.
When your double arrives, resist the
inclination to fight it. It may be stronger than
you. Chances are, it will disappear after the
eclipse. Be careful it doesn't switch places, it
will be a few decades before you get the
chance to come back
If you stare into the void, and it blinks first,
you win. But the prize is insanity
Werewolves are not only impossible to kill
during an eclipse, they become SUPER
Whatever you do, Don't buy any weird plants.
We don't want a repeat of last time.