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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

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battlecrazed-axe-mage: vigarath: ayriath: sensicalabsurdities: miatasenpai: island-delver-go: 8bitmickey: tanoraqui: threefeline: creepsandcrawlers: jelloapocalypse: dastardlypineapple: probablyottrpgideas: strangestquarkwave: professorsparklepants: vigarath: Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian. Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter. “Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.” https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass FUCK ME  the reveal video “CHRIS??????” “Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.” Always reblog Y'gathok DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40* Wow that DM really goes above and beyond Reblogging Ygathok because it’s been one year since we fought him!!!! It just popped up on my timeline today! Happy one year anniversary, our precious Old God boi!!! One year ago today, this boy was revealed. And for you guys, I have great news: I have the stats of Y’gathok complete and a general design for “how to use him” done. However, an adventure guide is incoming to teach you how to integrate him into any of your worlds! Goddamn. That’s how you DM with style : battlecrazed-axe-mage: vigarath: ayriath: sensicalabsurdities: miatasenpai: island-delver-go: 8bitmickey: tanoraqui: threefeline: creepsandcrawlers: jelloapocalypse: dastardlypineapple: probablyottrpgideas: strangestquarkwave: professorsparklepants: vigarath: Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian. Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter. “Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.” https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass FUCK ME  the reveal video “CHRIS??????” “Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.” Always reblog Y'gathok DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40* Wow that DM really goes above and beyond Reblogging Ygathok because it’s been one year since we fought him!!!! It just popped up on my timeline today! Happy one year anniversary, our precious Old God boi!!! One year ago today, this boy was revealed. And for you guys, I have great news: I have the stats of Y’gathok complete and a general design for “how to use him” done. However, an adventure guide is incoming to teach you how to integrate him into any of your worlds! Goddamn. That’s how you DM with style
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st-phanie: derpomatic: feminists-against-feminism: unaffiliatedpangolin: sighinastorm: goawfma: the year is 2020…this is ridiculous That’s neat and overdue, but something tells me enforcement is going to be sketchy. How about handling the homelessness crisis, drug addiction, high cost of living? What have they done to address those issues? California has actual problems and yet they are focused on hair? Does this mean that I as a white man can go to work in California with my natural hair and beard? Like fuck you can.“we still have to pass legislation like this ”  - no you don’t, sorry you were asked to wash your hair W’kanda, but you smell. sure the law is unnecessary, but black people, especially women are still discriminated against for wearing their natural hair, both by other black folks and white folks. This is when you realize the anti-sjw trend is dying when it’s community can no longer think beyond something like this tweet. Tell a young black girl who got her hair cut by her teacher and sent home how this is ridiculous. You’re really just invalidating a struggle you have no idea of “Sorry you had to wash your hair W’kanda” shut your racist ass up 🙄 Women were literally being told they couldn’t wear normal ass braids and fros. Kids were being kicked out of school. Just shut the fuck up.: st-phanie: derpomatic: feminists-against-feminism: unaffiliatedpangolin: sighinastorm: goawfma: the year is 2020…this is ridiculous That’s neat and overdue, but something tells me enforcement is going to be sketchy. How about handling the homelessness crisis, drug addiction, high cost of living? What have they done to address those issues? California has actual problems and yet they are focused on hair? Does this mean that I as a white man can go to work in California with my natural hair and beard? Like fuck you can.“we still have to pass legislation like this ”  - no you don’t, sorry you were asked to wash your hair W’kanda, but you smell. sure the law is unnecessary, but black people, especially women are still discriminated against for wearing their natural hair, both by other black folks and white folks. This is when you realize the anti-sjw trend is dying when it’s community can no longer think beyond something like this tweet. Tell a young black girl who got her hair cut by her teacher and sent home how this is ridiculous. You’re really just invalidating a struggle you have no idea of “Sorry you had to wash your hair W’kanda” shut your racist ass up 🙄 Women were literally being told they couldn’t wear normal ass braids and fros. Kids were being kicked out of school. Just shut the fuck up.
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