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Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it This little guy followed me home and then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I have a dog now @DrSmashlove See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂
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Barcelona, Club, and Memes: Standard Chartereo Jurgen Klopp is adamant Coutinho is not for sale as Liverpool is not a "selling club" after rejecting a second bid of €90m from Barcelona.

Jurgen Klopp is adamant Coutinho is not for sale as Liverpool is not a "selling club" after rejecting a second bid of €90m from Barcelona.

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Memes, Http, and Kids: Meet me at the USOpen on 8-28! Bid @Charitybuzz to support @USTA Foundation mission to support under-resourced kids: http:-bit.ly-2tOz1dI

Meet me at the USOpen on 8-28! Bid @Charitybuzz to support @USTA Foundation mission to support under-resourced kids: http:-bit.ly-2tOz1dI

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Arsenal, Memes, and Record: Arsenal TRANSFER.TALK Arsenal are preparing a bid to sign Sporting Lisbon midfielder William Carvalho for around €30 million, according to Record .

Arsenal are preparing a bid to sign Sporting Lisbon midfielder William Carvalho for around €30 million, according to Record .

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Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: He had cancer as a puppy and wasnt supposed to make it past 1. Now 13 years later and look at us.. Ladies and gents lemme hit with another secret Smash health hack: beet juice. The benefits of this glorious, red nectar of the heavens are legion, and I scarcely have the space to outline them all here, but let me try: (1) lowers blood pressure, (2) detoxes (ladies the summer is short and y'all already done did a number on yo liver), (3) tightens skin and prevents premature aging, (4) boosts energy, (5) has natural sexual performance enhancing qualities basically this shit is Viagra juice 😍, (6) helps digestion. Lemme pause on this one bruh. U gon drink this tall glass of beet juice and u gon see sights, u never thought u see before unless u was DYING. Sit down. Handle yo bidness. Look down. Y'all ever seen the movie The Hunt for Red October? Y'all ever seen them Yeezy sneakers, the Red October? Finna be Red Motherfuckin October in June on yo ass after that beet juice. U gon think u dying. U gon think yo kidney bleeding. U gon think u got a STD (ain't that some shit? Anything happens heath-wise and u just like "I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED MIKE WHEN HE SAID HE GOT TESTED FUCK I'M SO STUPID 😫" 😂). Nah baby u ain't bleeding from yo pancreas. That's that beet juice working. Cleansing. Making up for yo sins. U feel me? Don't fear - just let the magic happen 🤗. Now then. Where to get it? Unfortunately I only have a hack for the city of Chicago - Walgreens on State Street (yes, Walgreens - random AF 😂). They got the super duper hook up. The lady behind the counter friendly AF and don't wanna be there. She will juice whatever TF u ask her to if u nice. Most juice spots load their juice with fillers like apple juice but nah, if u ask her to feed 50 beets thru the juicer she gon do it. And then I ask her to add a lil kiwi for sweetness. Bam. If u in Chicago, there's your hook up (and if u see a sexy young man in a suit waiting on his beet juice well hello to u too, nice to meet u, I'm smash 🤗😂). If u don't live in Chicago, u could cop a juicer off amazon for between 100-200 or make friends with the person at your local juice spot and ask them for the off-menu hook up - all beets and a lil fruit for sweetness. Ya get me! Bless up! 😂😂😂
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Chicago, Memes, and Link: UN UNINTERRUPTED WOLyES @JimmyButler has bid farewell to Chicago. @OpenRun's NBADraft Night episode is now live, link in our bio.

@JimmyButler has bid farewell to Chicago. @OpenRun's NBADraft Night episode is now live, link in our bio.

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eBay, Memes, and Been: ebay bidding is so broken . it keeps saying i've been outbidded after i just placed the top bid ..

ebay bidding is so broken . it keeps saying i've been outbidded after i just placed the top bid ..

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Blackhistory, Dumb, and Lawyer: SS Elizabeth Freeman (Mum Bett) summoned the courage to take her owner to court in a bid for her freedom. In 1781, she visited a lawyer and said, "I heard that paper read yesterday that says all men are created equal and that every man has a right to freedom. I'm not dumb." She succeeded--becoming one of the first victims of slavery to gain freedom through the courts and win; thus essentially ending slavery in Massachusetts. Great Read 🤓: Elizabeth Freeman was probably born in 1742, to enslaved African parents in Claverack, New York. At the age of six months she was purchased, along with her sister, by John Ashley of Sheffield, Massachusetts, whom she served until she was nearly forty. By then she was known as "Mum Bett," and had a young daughter known as "Little Bett." Her husband had been killed while fighting in the Revolutionary War. ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ One day, the mistress angrily tried to hit Mum Bett's sister with a heated kitchen shovel. Mum Bett intervened and received the blow instead. Furious, she left the house and refused to return. When Colonel Ashley appealed to the law for her return, she called on Theodore Sedgewick, a lawyer from Stockbridge who had anti-slavery sentiments, and asked for his help to sue for her freedom. ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ Mum Bett had listened carefully while the wealthy men she served talked about the Bill of Rights and the new state constitution, and she decided that if all people were born free and equal, then the laws must apply to her, too. Sedgewick agreed to take the case, which was joined by another of Ashley's slaves, a man called Brom. ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ Brom & Bett v. Ashley was argued before a county court. The jury ruled in favor of Bett and Brom, making them the first enslaved African Americans to be freed under the Massachusetts constitution of 1780, and ordered Ashley to pay them thirty shillings and costs. This municipal case set a precedent that was affirmed by the state courts in the Quock Walker case and ultimately led to the abolition of slavery in Massachusetts. ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ After the ruling, despite pleas from Colonel Ashley that she return and work for him for wages, Mum Bett went to work for the Sedgewicks. She stayed with them as their housekeeper for years, eventually setting up house with her daughter. She became a much sought-after nurse and midwife. ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ElizabethFreeman - MumBett HerStory BlackWomenInHistory BlackHistory History LestWeForget theblaquelioness

Great Read 🤓: Elizabeth Freeman was probably born in 1742, to enslaved African parents in Claverack, New York. At the age of six months she ...

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