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Baseball, Books, and Christmas: What? enterprising-gentleman: the-fandoms-are-cool: fantasticbeastmovie: the-fandoms-are-cool: can we please talk about this # 1998 is a hard year for jackie # even working two jobs money is tight # (especially with rose’s gymnastic lessons # but rose loves them and jackie will sell her own kidneys to ensure she can keep attending) # and christmas is just around the corner # she looks over her books and feels ill: # she simply can’t afford to get rose any proper gift this year # and it breaks her heart # because rose is so excited # she loves christmas # keeps saying how she hopes it’ll snow this year # proper like # and christmas eve jackie is up late # worrying and hating how disappointed rose is gonna be come morning # when she wakes up to see the floor is almost empty beneath the tree # and that’s when there’s a knock at the door # she opens it # (with a baseball bat at the ready - it’s late on the estate after all) # and there’s no one there # just a red child-sized bike # with a note attached # ‘she’s gonna be fantastic’ it reads in messy loopy handwriting # ‘merry christmas’ # and normally she’d be worried about weirdos and stalkers but tonight # tonight it’s christmas eve and jackie tyler knows when not to look a gift horse in the mouth # so she hauls it inside quiet as she can # and the next morning when she’s awoken by the sound of rose crashing her new bike # into the hallway mirror # shrieking in delight the entire time # she takes a moment to say a silent thank you (via) and now I’m crying #oh my god#what if he just got that idea like right then#and said it to her#and then went and did it#and since their timelines aren’t parallel there’s no paradox (x)
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Yeah, Good, and Bike: Yeah, thats a good parking spot for my bike

Yeah, thats a good parking spot for my bike

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Confused, Food, and Lit: tsukidaisy some of the best customers l've had at Dollar General the woman who comes in every day and buys a single can of cat food. The brand she buys has the deal that if you buy 5 cans, you get them for $2. When I told her that she said "I don't need five at once. Terrence only needs one a day." The old man who came in and asked me "Why do you think McDonalds doesn't sell hotdogs?" When I told him I didn't know, he said "Well, I guess it would be hard to keep a straight face and order a McWeenie." e The teenage girl whose boyfriend held her foot up as she hopped around the store to get her things. Come to find out that she had lost her flip flop and didn't want to step on the floor with her bare foot. The elderly spanish man who comes in every day to get a pack of Marlboro Lights. His english isn't very good, so when I asked him if he wanted shorts or 100s, he looked at me confused. Realizing he didn't understand,I said "Pequeño?" His face lit up and nodded enthusiastically. Now every time he leaves, he smiles and says "Hasta mañana" and I say it back The other day when I was outside on a smoke break, he was riding on a bike and yelled "HASTA MANANAAAAAA" as he rode by . The old woman who came in and bought 24 air fresheners. I asked her if she was stocking up, and she told me about how she got a new boyfriend who lived in a mansion, and that she was putting one in each of the rooms. She then proceeded to tell me about how the mansion is haunted e The little kid who was probably around 4 or 5 who ripped open a pack of skittles. As me and the people in line watched the skittles scatter across the floor, he looked up and said. "It wasn't me." Source: tsukidaisy 10,328 notes Tales from Dollah Gen'ral

Tales from Dollah Gen'ral

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Alive, Bruh, and Cars: robotmango awed-frog robotmango it's ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, "i'm gonna go for a bike ride." and i was like "why. no. why don't put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey don't do it." so he says he doesn't want to "hide in the house" because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. "the sun is shining" does not cover it. its hot outside its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning @robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great now it's ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a "borrower" that got trapped inside a radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no at the devil's ρreferred temperature, this forecast has gotten away from me a little. but in conclusion fuck the sun Its hot out, is what Im saying
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Being Alone, America, and Anaconda: dna-today: When DNA ancestry contradicts your identity. With the discovery of DNA more the 145 years ago and the vastly advancing research of DNA since then, we now have access to incredible information at our fingertips. One of the more trending services offered online is the invitation to discover the details of our DNA ancestry and origins. It sounds very thrilling and exciting to be able to look into our genetic history that we can’t trace in any other way through living or deceased relatives. But is it always a pleasant surprise and is it always all it promises to be? Just yesterday, SBS news reporter Janice Petersen, published her personal experience of trying out an ancestry DNA test. It revealed a lot of information, some of which seemed obvious according to what she personally knows from family history and stories, and some of which just seemed completely random and unexpected. And she is not alone. In reality, most people planning to try a DNA ancestry test actually already have high and particular expectations going in. They have most likely talked to several of their family members, accumulating a general family history, and believe that this test will just solidify that information. And then when the results arrive, numbers don’t quite add up. It is important to remember that over the past few decades, travel within the same continents and between them became a reality! Just 100 years ago most of this travel would not have been possible and now we talk about flying to Europe from America as if it was just a bike ride away. According to the World Tourism Organization, UNWTO, in 2014 the number of international tourists was 1,138 million (that‘s right, check how many zeros that is)! And that’s the people who counted as overnight visitors. When it comes to actual migrations, according to UN statistics, the number of international migrants reached 244 million in 2015 which was a 41% increase compared to just 15 years earlier. The point is that with millions and millions of people travelling and more permanently relocating from their country of birth to wherever they may please on a daily basis, is it really surprising that your recent family history might not actually match your more historic origins? After all, we only really know what we are told by our closest family and they only have a certain capacity of information as well. And knowing this information about our DNA – does it define us as a person and our habits and our likes and dislikes? If we like curry and turns out that more that 30% of our DNA is attributed to Northern Europe (like Sweden or Norway), does that mean that we have been living our lives wrong and liking the wrong things? Of course not! We are the individuals that we build ourselves to be over our lifetime and these tests and the information they provide should only be regarded as an entertaining analysis. Something to enhance our understanding of ourselves, not to make us doubtful of our choices and lifestyles. Something to create social connections with people from the other side of the world who we will probably never meet, but are genetically connected to. Something to celebrate and really feel like an integral part of the big and diverse world we live in. How do you feel about finding out more about your DNA ancestry?  Have you done a test and how did you feel about the results?  Share your stories and opinions! If you are considering doing a test, you might want to check out the ancestry DNA tests offered here.

dna-today: When DNA ancestry contradicts your identity. With the discovery of DNA more the 145 years ago and the vastly advancing research ...

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