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Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to the bathroom together Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. “If you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to Beyoncé. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull

Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of co...

Bless Up, God, and Gym: This old guy walks his puppy past my house every evening My auntie is in her 70s. I was telling her about a couple personal records I had set at the gym recently. In her younger age she was athletic as hell - grew up poor and never picked up a tennis racquet until her 30s but when she did...anybody could get it...she put on that tennis skirt and her lil a$$ mobbed on em boy 😂. Anyway when I was done talking she told me: “beloved, when you’re young, you wake up and keep finding out new things that your body is able to do and accomplish. When you’re my age, every day you wake up and something is taken away from you.” She wasn’t even remotely bitter. She was just giving me the game straight up so as to ensure I don’t take my blessings for granted. Never take them blessings for granted, beloveds. Those are a gift. And if you’re suffering from any physical limitation or malady whatsoever, I ask God to bless you, protect you and ease it for you! And regardless, no physical limitation could ever limit your spirit and you need to remember that. Bless up 😍❤️ p.s. “Smash I’m an atheist you don’t need to pray for me 😊.” BIH. I AIN’T ATHEIST. GOD BEEN THERE FOR ME HELLA TIMES. SO IF MY PRAYER WORK AND U BLEW YA KNEE OUT AND YA KNEE START FEELING BETTER SOON, DON’T BE ACTING BRAND NEW WITCHOE SMARTY ARTY A$$ MAKING SMARTY ARTY ATHEIST ARGUMENTS. JUST LET ME BELIEVE IN MY ILLOGICAL LIL SPIRITUAL TING AND TAKE THE ILLOGICAL BLESSING, BLESS UP 😂❤️ (📹: reddit u-crotchetyhooker)

My auntie is in her 70s. I was telling her about a couple personal records I had set at the gym recently. In her younger age she was athleti...

Cars, Crazy, and Fucking: jerkin2urvoice "l promise l won't get too crazy tonight" 3 drinks later: Man in homemade tank destroys small town, helpless police have no way to s... prisonofteeth Okay, but Marvin Heemeyer didn't destroy his town. He specifically targeted buildings owned by corrupt politicians in his hometown, who over the course of nearly a decade, made it impossible for him to operate his muffler shop Through a zoning dispute and some shady deals, the town trustees had placed a concrete plant directly in the plot of land he used to access his muffler shop, and then fined him for having "junk cars on the property and not being hooked up to the sewer line" "On June 4, 2004, Heemeyer drove his armored bulldozer through the wall of his former business, the concrete plant, the Town Hall, the office of the local newspaper that editorialized against him, the home of a former judge's widow, and a hardware store owned by another man Heemeyer named in a lawsuit, as well as a few others. Owners of all of the buildings that were damaged had some connection to Heemeyer's disputes" Marvin didn't hurt anyone in his rampage. Witnesses recount how he went out of his way to make sure that no one was hurt. The only casualty was after he took his own life with a single gunshot after his bulldozer came to a halt. His story is a story of protest and revenge against a corrupt system that took advantage of him, prevented him from running his business, and wore him down until the bitter end. Marvin Heemeyer is a fucking hero. <p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/172768287129/too-crazy" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Too crazy</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://memehumor.net/post/172768287129/too-crazy" class="tumblr_blog">memehumor</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Too crazy</p></blockquo...

Cars, Crazy, and Fucking: jerkin2urvoice "l promise l won't get too crazy tonight" 3 drinks later: Man in homemade tank destroys small town, helpless police have no way to s... prisonofteeth Okay, but Marvin Heemeyer didn't destroy his town. He specifically targeted buildings owned by corrupt politicians in his hometown, who over the course of nearly a decade, made it impossible for him to operate his muffler shop Through a zoning dispute and some shady deals, the town trustees had placed a concrete plant directly in the plot of land he used to access his muffler shop, and then fined him for having "junk cars on the property and not being hooked up to the sewer line" "On June 4, 2004, Heemeyer drove his armored bulldozer through the wall of his former business, the concrete plant, the Town Hall, the office of the local newspaper that editorialized against him, the home of a former judge's widow, and a hardware store owned by another man Heemeyer named in a lawsuit, as well as a few others. Owners of all of the buildings that were damaged had some connection to Heemeyer's disputes" Marvin didn't hurt anyone in his rampage. Witnesses recount how he went out of his way to make sure that no one was hurt. The only casualty was after he took his own life with a single gunshot after his bulldozer came to a halt. His story is a story of protest and revenge against a corrupt system that took advantage of him, prevented him from running his business, and wore him down until the bitter end. Marvin Heemeyer is a fucking hero. <p>Too crazy via /r/memes <a href="https://ift.tt/2GIwg4J">https://ift.tt/2GIwg4J</a></p>

<p>Too crazy via /r/memes <a href="https://ift.tt/2GIwg4J">https://ift.tt/2GIwg4J</a></p>

Bad, Bad Jokes, and Beautiful: HE <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172136795052/theindependentconservative-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://theindependentconservative.tumblr.com/post/172134527769/lastsonlost-heatandapathy" class="tumblr_blog">theindependentconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172106090152/heatandapathy-concentrated-sunshine" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://heatandapathy.tumblr.com/post/172104814701/concentrated-sunshine-shitty-metta-mun" class="tumblr_blog">heatandapathy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://concentrated-sunshine.tumblr.com/post/172103863265/shitty-metta-mun-goose-juggler-gservator" class="tumblr_blog">concentrated-sunshine</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://shitty-metta-mun.tumblr.com/post/172103123563/goose-juggler-gservator-hott-dogg-mann" class="tumblr_blog">shitty-metta-mun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://goose-juggler.tumblr.com/post/172102081416/gservator-hott-dogg-mann-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">goose-juggler</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://gservator.tumblr.com/post/172101816471/hott-dogg-mann-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">gservator</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://hott-dogg-mann.tumblr.com/post/172095533311/lastsonlost-wanderingberserker-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">hott-dogg-mann</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172094764907/wanderingberserker-lastsonlost-speaking-of" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://wanderingberserker.tumblr.com/post/172094692137/lastsonlost-speaking-of-jokes-and-nazis-with" class="tumblr_blog">wanderingberserker</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172094647642/speaking-of-jokes-and-nazis-with-comedy-we-can" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <h2>Speaking of jokes and Nazis….</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="370" data-orig-width="718"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/dffd11705aa681a806c2914d89e712d2/tumblr_inline_p5xi80MvlQ1sp5650_500.jpg" data-orig-height="370" data-orig-width="718"/></figure><h1><b>“With Comedy, We Can Rob Hitler of his Posthumous Power”</b></h1> <p>Jewish comic actor Mel Brooks talks about Hitler as a comical character, the limits of humor and his latest film “The Producers,” which hits screens in Germany and other European countries (that week in 2006.)</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b></p> <p>Mr. Brooks, almost all the rogues in your film have moustaches. Is that the long shadow of Hitler?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> You must be joking! Rogues on the screen were already wearing moustaches when Hitler was still running around in short trousers. A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. So Hitler’s incomplete moustache would never have been enough for that.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Your new comedy “The Producers” is set at the end of the 1950s on Broadway and concerns a Nazi musical that breaks box office records. It shows a dancing and singing Hitler. Isn’t that a bit tasteless?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Of course. But it’s also funny, isn’t it? The film revolves around a Broadway producer who, for financial and technical reasons, wants to produce a flop. After he turns down the chance to adapt Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis,” he comes up with the idea of creating a musical about Hitler, produced by the lousiest director in the city, cast with the worst actors by far -– in the middle of the Jewish metropolis of New York. He’s sure it won’t work. Yet because the audience considers the piece to be a brilliant parody, his worst fears are realized, it’s a hit. “The Producers” therefore deals with the difficulty of having a flop. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Which you of course know well yourself. “The Producers” is based on a musical that you produced that ran successfully on Broadway for five years and also on the film “The Producers” that you shot in 1967. How did the audience react to the film back then?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> The Jews were horrified. I received resentful letters of protest, saying things like: “How can you make jokes about Hitler? The man murdered 6 million Jews.“ But “The Producers” doesn’t concern a concentration camp or the Holocaust. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Can you really separate Hitler from the Holocaust?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> You have to separate it. For example, Roberto Benigni’s comedy “Life Is Beautiful” really annoyed me. A crazy film that even attempted to find comedy in a concentration camp. It showed the barracks in which Jews were kept like cattle, and it made jokes about it. The philosophy of the film is: people can get over anything. No, they can’t. They can’t get over a concentration camp.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> But the film has deeply moved a lot of people.</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> I always asked myself: Tell me, Roberto, are you nuts? You didn’t lose any relatives in the Holocaust, you’re not even Jewish. You really don’t understand what it’s all about. The Americans were incredibly thrilled to discover from him that it wasn’t all that bad in the concentration camps after all. And that’s why they immediately pressed an Oscar into his hand. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> So there are limits to humor?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Definitely. In 1974, I produced the western parody “Blazing Saddles,” in which the word “nigger” was used constantly. But I would never have thought of the idea of showing how a black was lynched. It’s only funny when he escapes getting sent to the gallows. You can laugh at Hitler because you can cut him down to normal size.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Can you also get your revenge on him by using comedy?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Yes, absolutely. Of course it is impossible to take revenge for 6 million murdered Jews. But by using the medium of comedy, we can try to rob Hitler of his posthumous power and myths. In doing so, we should remember that Hitler did have some talents. He was able to fool an entire population into letting him be their leader. However, this role was basically a few numbers too great for him –- but he simply covered over this deficiency.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Was he a good actor?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Yes, as he convinced many millions of Germans. It’s not without good reason that comedies about Hitler often concern actors who should play him. Just think about Charlie Chaplin’s “The Great Dictator” (1940) or Ernst Lubitsch’s “To Be or not To Be” (1942). There’s no doubt about it, Hitler worked in the same branch as we do: he created illusions. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> In a documentary film about the downfall of the German battleship the Bismarck, US director James Cameron referred to Hitler as the “greatest pop star of his time.“</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> There’s something in that. Hitler must have had a magnetic attractive force, like a rock star he used his voice to spellbind umpteen thousands of listeners. So it’s only fitting when comic actors make him the limelight hog of world history. We take away from him the holy seriousness that always surrounded him and protected him like a cordon.</p> <p><br/></p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> You yourself fought against the Nazis in Europe in 1945 and came to Berlin just after the end of the war and stayed there for eight months. Could you still feel much of a Hitler reverence?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Everywhere you went you could sense a great relief that the war was finally over. I myself was shaken by the extent of the destruction. When we were transporting away a few prisoners of war in a train, I discovered an old man who looked like my grandfather. He suddenly leaped out of the carriage. I took my rifle and aimed at him. He called (Brooks says in German): “Don’t shoot, I have to shit”. Most of the Germans who survived the war were just poor simple people. Was National Socialism ever taught in German schools?</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Yes, and in great detail.</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> That is comforting to know. When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I’ve always felt okay in Berlin. It was there that I saw Brecht and Weill’s “Three Penny Opera” and was totally crazy about this kind of musical theater. </p> <p><br/></p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Have you seen Oliver Hirschbiegels’s film “Downfall”?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Yes, and I thought it was excellent. It shows us Hitler’s self destruction. While Goebbels was idolizing Hitler as the new Christ, like the salvation in the flesh, he was decaying before our very eyes – and all that was needed to illustrate this was a shot of his trembling hand.  </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Don’t you think the film humanizes Hitler too much?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> No, it doesn’t arouse the slightest bit of sympathy for Hitler. It shows a man who went mad. Let’s face it; he too started off as a small, innocent baby. His monstrous grimace comes across all the more startling when you can sense the paltry remains of his human nature.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Was Hitler funny? Would you have been able to make him laugh?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> I have no delusions of grandeur. Hitler would definitely not have smacked himself on the thigh and cried out (Brooks says in German): “What fantastic fun.“ If he had found something funny you’d probably see at the most a flinch in the corner of his mouth.  </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> You yourself played Hitler in 1983 in your remake of the film “To Be or not To Be”…</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="130" data-orig-width="240"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/054ed98db8d99065bb0c2d5edafdf864/tumblr_inline_p5xi81rWN21sp5650_500.gif" data-orig-height="130" data-orig-width="240"/></figure><p><b>Brooks:</b> … and I also gave him my voice in a song in “The Producers”.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> How does it feel for a <b>JEW</b> to slip into the skin of his greatest enemy?  </p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> It is an inverted seizure of power. For many years Hitler was the most powerful man in the world and almost destroyed us. </p> <h2>To posses this power and turn it against him -– it is simply alluring. </h2> <p><i>Interview conducted by Lars-Olav Beier.</i></p> <h2>&lt;Imagine being able to stand up to Great Evil by laughing in its face.</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="118" data-orig-width="210"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a79626891f6befc1cdd796f032952869/tumblr_inline_p5xi808Qxb1sp5650_500.gif" data-orig-height="118" data-orig-width="210"/></figure><p>Meanwhile the UK is going full Orwell.</p> <p>What I wouldn’t give for a Mel Brooks to lead Lewis Black Jerry Seinfeld Richard Lewis Larry David Jon Stewart Billy Crystal Ben &amp; Jerry Stiller Garry Shandling Sacha Baron Cohen Lisa Lampanelli and Robert Klein in a conga line of Nazi jokes outside of British Parliament.</p> <p>I’m not really going anywhere with this but I just think it would be hilarious. </p> <p>Also such an event would need a proper host and I can only think of one choice.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="134" data-orig-width="240"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/bec1c6c06b335123340a94175c5b2cfa/tumblr_inline_p5xi82H2BL1sp5650_500.gif" data-orig-height="134" data-orig-width="240"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Personal favorite will ALWAYS be John Cleese…</p> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="459" data-orig-height="344" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvlmGknvr_Pg"><iframe width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vlmGknvr_Pg?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure></blockquote> <p>Always.</p> </blockquote> <p>Mel Brooks is my hero but that black Hitler joke MADE MY FUCKING DAY</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="598" data-orig-width="649"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/741893db579a951a6efa891de4345bf4/tumblr_inline_p5y292RoPA1rkd5oa_500.jpg" data-orig-height="598" data-orig-width="649"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Cameron Pierce “Ass Goblins of Auschwitz” is a bizarre fiction book that turns the SS into walking asses.</p> </blockquote> <p>always mock hitler. always.</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="459" data-orig-height="344" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2F8c1GhbpObv0"><iframe width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8c1GhbpObv0?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure></blockquote> <p>People keep forgetting the power of humor. </p> </blockquote> <p>They are too busy being addicted to outrage. </p> <h2><b><i>On an unrelated note………</i></b></h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="215" data-orig-width="500"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2c5f7fba5d805164566b53ee88ee94fb/tumblr_inline_p5ya7pSA2A1sp5650_540.gif" data-orig-height="215" data-orig-width="500"/></figure><p>Its all about the  Brooks baby.</p> </blockquote> <p>Thank God Brooks made the movies when he did, they’d never be made today.</p></blockquote> <p>Laughter is a very powerful weapon against rage hatred and madness and even more powerful tool of love and healing.</p><p>Most kids don’t get that when they’re making angry bitter hateful bad jokes as a “ coping mechanism”. Coping isn’t feeding the poison in your heart. Coping it’s simply coming to terms with it well real healing tries to clean that poison from your very soul.</p></blockquote> <p>Make jokes about Nazis. Make fun of Nazis. Make jokes about Hitler. Mock Nazis. That robs them of their power. Being too afraid to speak of them only makes them feel stronger.</p><p>“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”-Dumbledore.</p><p>For people who constantly reference Harry Potter, I would think that lesson would’ve sunk in.</p>

<p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172136795052/theindependentconservative-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p>...