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It鈥檚 true, I was the snickers bar: 10:17 1 鈥.. Entitled parent sexually assaults me in Walmart So, l'm writing this on mobile so my spelling might be a bit dodgy, but l'll try and make it as neat ap. This was about 5 years ago in my sophomore year when I was going to the mall with my mom. Tbh I didn't really want to go that bad, but I was going to go to the cinema after to watch avengers 2. Now it's time for the cast:) Me-me a 5'7" male who goes to the gym. I'm a bi-sexual Mexican who is extremely insecure and lacks basic social skills. BF- my wonderful boyf who is tall, handsome and very intelligent EK- entitled kid, a fat short demon spawn EM-entitled mother. Otherwise known as Satan's wife. Very fat. SG-security guard, a 6'8" black titan of a man We went into a Walmart and I went to pick up a Snickers bar, but there was only one left, so l went for it and picked it up. Then out of ABSOLOUTELY NOWHERE this fat kid appeared and tried to grab it out of my hand, but his hand missed, and he ended up grabbing my long one. Instead of APOLOGISING or anything he just kept running around me trying to grab it of me, but he was short maybe 3'6", so I didn't want to go too harsh on him, (little did I know). LUCKILY, at this point one of the workers stepped in and tried to take control of the situation but the little kid ended slapping her across the cheek in another attempt to grab the Snickers bar, (or maybe my balls!?). Anyway, at this point she walked off, looking quite upset and so l was left with the devil's spawn on my own. I tried to ask him why he wanted the bar so bad, but he just carried on trying to grab my chocolate bar, or my other chocolate bar! It was at this moment, that I knew that it was the Ek's mom running (if you could call it that) down the aisle (because of her fat-ass thighs) and I felt a wave of relief across me. The little kid ran up to his mom and said something, and the mom just stared at me. And then, you guessed it, the EM went for the chocolate as well, and she too, the devil, went for my balls as well. Now when a fully grown (or half-grown) woman tries to grab your balls, that's when you know shits going down. And rightly so! It was at that moment that SG turned up, looking pissed. As soon as the devil and her spawn saw the man they went toddling off! But the man was far from done. He shouted, 'Get back here now, before I make you.' So, the fat little rat came trundling back, whispering something to her spawn. AND THEN, enters my mom. She didn't cut the string short or waste any time. She just cut to the chase and said, 'What the fuck is going on!!!?' (I love my mom). Even the SG seemed pretty taken aback at this, but he was on our side. 2/3 So then of course, this is when the devil and her spawn went scuttling up to the security guard, wailing to speak to the manager. But their wish wasn't granted. Sooner or later the security guard was taking them away (hopefully to the police). A bystander started clapping slowly, and soon everyone nearby started clapping and cheering! A man even whooped and called me his hero!(apparently this women had done this many times and had become infamous in the surrounding area) And luckily, I didn't see their ugly devil faces for another two weeks. So, as you can guess, encountering the devil's spawn for the second time round was a Huge disappointment, especially as I was hanging with my BF, and this was at the SAME STORE. I still had the traumatising event literally implanted into my head and didn't really want it to happen again (as you could imagine), so I walked away from the devil and her spawn. Unfortunately (like the natural entitled parents) there was no escape from the devil's wrath. ME: oh no, that's the person I was taking about pointing discreetly to the pudgy fat woman BF: really? You weren't lying when u said she was fat were u? ME: ye lets just not get in her way, its not worth it. Then, the entitled parent looked up from her beauty magazines and locked eyes with me. I swear, she had the rage of a million trapped souls in her eyes. I felt like she could shoot laser beams out of her eyes. She looked deep into my eyes and I looked away as fast as I could. Unfortunately, that would not stop her. She got on her gucci flip flops and stormed over like a female Thor (endgame Thor). EM: you little bitch-ass pig prick Mongol wanking pillock (among other things), you need to pay us back for the chocolate bar u stole. ME: what? Your son tried to take it from me when I had just picked it up. EM: Spare me your bs excuses and hand over the money. ME: listen lady, Tam not going to give you any money because your son didn't get to a snickers bar fast enough. EM: listen here you little sh... BF: interrupting ma'am if you don't back off, I'm going to have to press charges against you and you could be serving a lot of time in jail for child endangerment, sexual assault and ASB. EM: shocked whaa wh... gaining confidence again you shouldn't speak to your elders like that! III have you thrown out of this store for attacking a superior! she tries to approach us I think this is the time to tell you that my BF is a black belt in like every single martial art imaginable and this is not good if you are an obese make up smothered mom trying to get free money. His special move? A backhand which HURTS! (I only know this because when we first met, I tried sneaking up on him to surprise him and out of reaction hit me across the face with his signature) BF: keeping extremely calmma'am l'll have to call security if you get any closer SG: looks over sensing that all hell was about to break loose EM: ill teach you a lesson fggot raises hand ready to swing it at my bf 3/3 SG starts to run over at this point, just as EM swings her hand at BF. BF, being the sexy beast, he is, blocks it with his left hand and backhands EM across the face with his right. EM stumbles across the aisle and crashes int the shelf knocking some candy onto the floor. She was just about to scream something when SG dives at her and tackles her to the floor. After all that the police came and put her in the back of a police car, all the while she was cussing us out the entire time. The cops asked me if I 1 33 1 Share 40 Add a comment Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching >> It鈥檚 true, I was the snickers bar
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I'm 20 and I still watch Scooby-Doo: Neckbeard Shaggy Lad Scrappy-Doo Virgin Velma Chad Daphne Thad Fred Wizard Scooby-Doo Beat up an entire biker gang after he was hypnotized into being brave, proving he could actually be useful if he weren't such a goddamn coward HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO Went from damsel in distress to black-belt Breaks up the show's pacing by delivering exposition HATE SCRAPPY SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE Basically Scooby-Doo lite The gang would be badass nothing without his bold leadership 387.44 MILLLON MILES PRINTED ARE Loses her glasses like every goddamn episode Bold and stylish outfit The only man on Earth Is a talking dog in a world where it's repeatedly established monsters don't exist, totally The "comic relief" of an OF who can pull off an ascot already funny show Somehow underweight despite eating his body weight in junk food every day CIRCUITS IN WAFER ruins the immersion Annoying nasally voice Bland sense of style THIN LAYERS THAT FILL The only one with Sexy voice Useless and cowardly Even her name Confident a normal name THE WORD HATE WAS MY COMPLEX. IF sounds nerdy masculine voice Cool unique name ENGRAVED ON EACH OF THOSE HUNDREDS NANOANGSTROM OF MILLIONS OF NOT EQUAL ONE THE HATE I FEEL High-pitched voice is like Real name is nails on a chalkboard Rounds rike a retard "Norville" Imao Like seriously, just The love interest of Dumbass name wear contacts Imao MILES IT WOULD everyone from Johnny Could bang Daphne any time he wanted, prefers traps instead Bravo to John Cena Deep in the closet, still can't find an outfit that ONE-BILLIONTH OF AT THIS MICRO- Drives the Mystery Is a stoner, setting a bad example to young audience Eats everything but pussy Machine Should probably have PTSD from getting kidnapped so many times, still bravely continues to put herself out there doesn't make her look INSTANT FOR like a traffic cone Cares more about Scooby Snacks than his friends 袧袗孝袝. SCRAPPY. HATE. Can we count on you, Scooby-Doo? The basis for a shitty Even looks like Thad overused meme I'm 20 and I still watch Scooby-Doo
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I'm sure the school was totally cool with your daughter using her martial arts on another kid to "diffuse the situation": On the very first day of school my daughter came home and told me about a little boy in class who had followed her around constantly, making her uncomfortable, despite being asked to stop. He had tried to follow her into the bathroom as well I advised her to firmly tell him again (without saying "please"- because this was a command, not a request) and to ask her teacher for help in getting him to stop We practiced loudly saying "D0 NOT TOUCH ME." and "STOP FOLLOWING ME" in the bathroom mirror together. I verified with her teacher that she had asked for support, and was assured that an eye would be kept on the situation Before the week was over, I received a call from the principal of her school tensely letting me know that an "incident" had occurred. That day, the same little boy had cornered Luna, pinned her to the ground with his knees planted on her chest, and forced her mouth open so he could lick inside her mouth while she screamed and cried for him to stop. A school employee eventually pulled him off of her. She was terrified. I was livid After only four days of school my confident, bubbly little beansprout was suddenly nervous and unsure of herself. My daughter timidly told me that she was "worried because she can't stop bad things from happening to her" The school acted swiftly and responsibly to handle the situation, but the spark had gone out from Luna's eyes her confidence in her ability to maintain her own safety was torn to shreds. Her and I spoke at length about the feeling of helplessness, and my heart broke emptily in my chest as we together untangled the misplaced sense embarrassment and weakness. And then, after we pinpointed where her confidence had been fractured, we signed up for a self defense class that began just a few days later. And so, for the past few months, Luna has been suiting up twice a week in her black Gi at Unicorn Jiu Jitsu - the only woman-led black belt jiu jitsu school in the state. We kept coming back because after the very first class, Luna beamed radiantly at me and firmly said: "No one is going to touch me like that ever again." I cried Big, ugly tears. Baby, you're damn right they won't. ... And they didn't. Yesterday at recess, an older and larger student didn't want to wait his turn to climba play structure. So he yanked Luna down off of it and started to throw her around by the collar. Luna used his own weight to put him on his rear-end in the barkdust but he still did not let go of her. So she put a knee into his chest until he was flat on his back, and then pressed her shin against his neck until he began sputtering and released her. At that point she backed quickly away The (slightly garbled) voicemail transcript from Luna's principal describing that event, and how she was not in trouble because her response was perfectly appropriate, is getting framed and will be sitting proudly on my desk. The baker at the grocery store declined to write "Baby's First Choke-Out" on a celebratory cake I bought, but that's alright. Voicemail School mobile November 20, 2019 at 3:16 PM Transcription Beta the principal at Elementary I just wanted to call and let you know about an incident that happened today on the playground when I was climbing up a play structure and a little boy hold her for around by "Hello Margaux this is down off of it and was . of her the , um Luna did diffuse the situation by getting him to the ground as he held onto her and she began lightly choking him with her until he released her as soon a he lat ao cho did cat off of bim co if. Like Share I'm sure the school was totally cool with your daughter using her martial arts on another kid to "diffuse the situation"

I'm sure the school was totally cool with your daughter using her martial arts on another kid to "diffuse the situation"

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Found it on Overleaf.: Dwight Schrute in /dwight-schrute /dwight-schrute dwightschrute.com +1-123-456-7890 dschrute@dundermifflin.com Education Scranton University 1998-1992 BA Business Administration Scranton, PA Experience Dunder Mifflin May 2013 Present Scranton, PA Regional Manager Maintained the highest sales average, despite the weak economy and obsolete product >Managed, inspired, and protected the Scranton branch from criminals and raccoons >Led the office to obtain immeasurable success and glory Dunder Mifflin Mar. 2008 - Mar. 2013 Assistant (to the) Regional Manager Scranton, PA Closed more sales with revenues totalling more profit than any other employee Served as self-appointed enforcer of The Rules (policies and procedures manual) >Instituted "Schrute Bucks" reward system, immeasurably raising office morale Staples Mar. 2008 Mar. 2008 Sales Associate Scranton, PA > Became the top salesman of the store within a one-month timespan Made a record-high sales figure despite having an unfunny boss Provided extraordinary and exceptional customer service to the masses Dunder Mifflin Mar. 2005- Mar. 2008 Assistant (to the) Regional Manager Scranton, PA > Acted as Regional Manager's eyes, ears, and right hand, overseeing and reporting on employee conduct > Provided services to the office such as martial arts and surveillance >Introduced new linen paper lines into the market, often closing sight-unseen sales Projects Schrute Farms (Bed and Breakfast) > A beautiful resort that provides fun activites like tablemaking and mattress making. Dwight Schrute's Gym for Muscles > A built-in gym inside the Dunder Mifflin office complex that will buy your tin for 5 cents a yard. Sesame Avenue Daycare Center for Infants and Toddlers > A great daycare for infants with a focus on cognitive development. Skills Traits Hardworking, Alpha Male, Jackhammer, Merciless, Insatiable Talents Karate (Black Belt), Jujitsu, Werewolf Hunting, Table Making Found it on Overleaf.

Found it on Overleaf.

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transladyknight: transsystem: gaylor-moon: nazerine: radioactive-moth: lonesecretmemer: sulkylass: auldlangespeon: sulkylass: cubeybooby: internetsensationjakesurname: apparently i found a canon trans lady in the battle maison cute!! don鈥檛 black belt women exist tho black belts are an all-male trainer class within the game. OH duh. right. i took this complete out of context. it鈥檚 pokemon. Reasons I love X and Y This is just a mis-translation you fuck heads I hate to break your bubble, but no, it鈥檚 not. In Japanese, she says 鍗婂勾鍓嶃伅銈儵銉嗐亰銇嗐仩銇c仧銇伀鍖诲銇姏銇c仸銈广偛銉笺倛銇紒 which literally means 鈥淭o think I was a Black Belt just half a year ago. Modern medicine sure is amazing!鈥 as an extra bonus, Black Belts are referred to in Japanese as 銈儵銉嗐亰銇, which means 鈥渒arate king鈥 and is explicitly male. tl;dr keep your stupid transphobic assumptions to yourself, moron OH LOOK MY FAVORITE POST https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Beauty_(Trainer_class)#Trivia I love her : Yes, a mere half year ago T was a Black Belt! Quite the transformation, wouldn't you say? transladyknight: transsystem: gaylor-moon: nazerine: radioactive-moth: lonesecretmemer: sulkylass: auldlangespeon: sulkylass: cubeybooby: internetsensationjakesurname: apparently i found a canon trans lady in the battle maison cute!! don鈥檛 black belt women exist tho black belts are an all-male trainer class within the game. OH duh. right. i took this complete out of context. it鈥檚 pokemon. Reasons I love X and Y This is just a mis-translation you fuck heads I hate to break your bubble, but no, it鈥檚 not. In Japanese, she says 鍗婂勾鍓嶃伅銈儵銉嗐亰銇嗐仩銇c仧銇伀鍖诲銇姏銇c仸銈广偛銉笺倛銇紒 which literally means 鈥淭o think I was a Black Belt just half a year ago. Modern medicine sure is amazing!鈥 as an extra bonus, Black Belts are referred to in Japanese as 銈儵銉嗐亰銇, which means 鈥渒arate king鈥 and is explicitly male. tl;dr keep your stupid transphobic assumptions to yourself, moron OH LOOK MY FAVORITE POST https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Beauty_(Trainer_class)#Trivia I love her
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black belt: 1. JAY-Z DRUG DEALER He said selling crack on the streets of New York during the 1980s gave him the skills to succeed later in life. "I know about budgets, you need to know what you can spend, what you need to re-up. 2. HARRISON FORD CARPENTER SINCia He helped to build Sergio Mendes's studio, 7 years before the release of the first "Star Wars" 3. KANYE WEST SALE ASSISTANT PLANETBOMB.NET GA Back before he was the self-claimed wisest and most talented musician in the world, Kanye could be found greeting customers, folding sweaters and chinos at GAP. 3. JON HAMM SET-DRESSER FOR PORN FILMS The "Mad Men" star was a set dresser for soft core porn films in the late 1990s, said it was a depressing, soul-crushing experience. 4. AMY ADAMS HOOTERS WAITRESS Amy Adams was a hostess at Hooters when she was 17 and then spent a month waiting tables ned 18 after she had 5. NICOLE KIDMAN MASSAGE THERAPIST When she was 17 She studied massage and worked as a therapist so she could help her mother with physical therapy. 6. EVANGELINE LILLY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATER OR JUICE? She once farted on a nasty passenger's face. It would be a shame if the plane was "lost" 7. ANGELINA JOLIE FUNERAL DIRECTOR She had pursued a career as a funeral director because her grandpa's funeral is disappointing. 8. CHARLIZE THERON BALLERINA At the age of 16, when knee injuries forced her from the Joffrey Ballet, she won a one year modeling contract and decided to give acting a try 9. HUGH JACKMAN GYM TEACHER PLANETBOMBNET Hugh Jackman was a PE teacher at Uppingham School and a part-time party clown. 25 years later, he recognize one of the student (a reporter) on the red carpet, "You know what makes me angry, Rollo? It's students who don't really listen. No, it's the kind of students who don't bring their kit and the kind of students who don't jump in the pool when I tell them to. That's what makes me angry, Rollo." 10. CHANNING TATUM STRIPPER He did it for 8 months when he was 19. "On a good night, [I would makel 150 bucks. On a bad night, 70 bucks even 50 at times." His stage name is Chan Crawford 11. RACHEL MCADAMS MCDONALD'S Whatever... im gotting cheose fries She worked for Mcdonald's for 3 years and broke the orange juice machine. 12. PATRICK DEMPSEY CHAMPION JUGGLER SUCCESS He participated in juggling competitions and dropped out of high school to tour as a juggler and magician before he found his calling in acting. 13. TOM CRUISE PRIEST (ALMOST) Before he became famous and converted to Scientology, he attended a Franciscan seminary on a church scholarship and had aspiration of becoming a priest. He was expelled for stealing booze. 14. JOHNNY DEPP PHONE SALESMAN 10 He was a balled point pen salesman before Nicolas Cage convinced him to pursue acting. "You put on your best fake voice and try and sell them a gross or two of ballpoint pens with their name printed on them. 15. GERARD BUTLER LAWYER He got a law degree from Glasgow University, he drank through his first job as a trainee civil lawyer in Edinburgh until he was fired, a week before he was due to qualify 16. PIERCE BROSNAN FIRE EATER When he was studying acting in London's Oval House theater he passed by a fire-eating workshop and upon seeing that there were topless women doing the routine he signed up immediately. 17. KATHERINE WINNICK MARTIAL ARTIST The shield maiden in "Vikings" started martial arts at the age of 7, received her first black belt at 13 and opened her first school at 16. She holds a third-degree Black Belt in taekwondo and a second-degree Black Belt in Karate. She's also a licenced bodyguard. 18. STEVE BUSCEMI FIREFIGHTER PNQUANTACICE F.D.NY. E D.N 65 He was a FDNY firefighter in 1980. He has gone back to help his old ladder-mates on several occasions, most notably in the days following 9-11 when the actor put in 12-hour days to help sift through the rubble and find missing persons. 19. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN LION TAMER At age 15 he found the position advertised in the help wanted section and applied simply because "I've always liked cats." He worked as a lion tamer at a circus. According to Walken, it was "more like a big dog than anything." 20. LIAM NEESON TEACHER PLANETBOMB.NET Liam Neeson used to be a teacher in Newcastle but got fired for punching a 15-year-old boy when he pulled a knife out in class. 21. CHRISTOPER LEE CLASSIFIED First enlisted in the Royal Air Force in 1940, where he worked as an intelligence officer specializing in decoding German ciphers. He was tasked with tracking down war criminals after the war. His SAS record was hammed up. 22. BOB ROSS DRILL SERGEANT During his 20 years in the Air Force, Ross reached the rank of Master Sergeant. "I was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work. The job requires you to be a mean, tough person. And I was fed up with it. I promised myself that if I ever got away from it, it wasn't going to be that way anymore. Boss spent his non-screaming time speed-painting the Alaskan wilderness around him, eventually he quit the military and focused on happy little cloud and trees.
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Hey I am the yo mama guy!: OK GUYS BUT JOSEPH "JOE SWAN SON IS OHE OF THE MAIN CHARLCTERS OF FAMILY GUA HE IS A POLICE OFFICER WHO LIVES ON SPODNER STREET HE IS THE HUSBAND OF BONNIE AND THE FATHER OF HEVIN AND SUSIE JDE MET PETER WHEN AFTER JUST MOWNG NTO OUAHOG, THE HAPP GD LUCKY TOY EACTORY NEEDED A FINAL MEMBER FOR THEIR COMPANY BASEBALL TEAM PETER NEWTHAT JOE HAD WON MANY AWRDS FOR PLAVING BESEBALL IN THE PAST: HE DID NOT KNOW THAT JOE WAS PARALYZED BELOW THE WAIST. HOWEVERSHE DDES MOST OF THE TIME JOE PROVED THAT THIS WASHT ENOUGH TO STOP HIM AND HE LED THE TEAM TO VICTORY HE LIVES AT 33 SPODHER STREET WITH HIS FAMLY6DE SWANSONHS A TOUGH, GRIZZLED COP WHOS SEEN IT ALL AND DOESN'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY. HE USED TO BE FULL OF ENERGY ND READY TO KICK SOME ASS, WHENEVER HE GOT THE CHAN CE HE WAS TOUGH AND FIERCE AND HE ALWAYS BLASTED OFF LIKE A ROCNET ILLING PEOPLE AND PUNCHING THEIR LIGHTS OUT. UNFORTUNATELY FOR H MHE WAS CRIPPLED DURING ONE OF HIS BADASS CRIME-STOPPING BATTLESNONOWHE CAN'T MOVE AS MUCH AS HE USED TO. THIS EXPERIENCE CHANGED HIM, BUT ONLY IN A PHYSICAL SENSE. JDE MADE SURE HE DID NOT LET HIS HANDICAP SLOW HIM DOWN. HE MAY BE BOUND TO HIS WHEELCHAIR, BUT HE IS STILL FULL OF THE SAME DETERMINATION AND AUDICITY AS HE'S ALWAYS BEEN. HE'S ALWAYS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, THREATENING TO KILL PEOPLE, BLOWING STUFF UP FOR NO REASON, AND HAVING SEX WITH HIS WIFE, ALL WITHOUT THE USE OF HIS LEGS. JOE IS PERFECTLY SATISFIED WITH THIS, UNLINE HIS WIFE. IN LATER SEASONS OF THE SHOW, IT BECAME MORE AND MORE COMMON FOR JOE'S FRIENDS TO MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR BEING CRIPPLED. OVERTIME, THIS GRADUALLY LED TO HIM BECOMING LESS AND LESS CONFIDENT WITH HIMSELF, TO THE POINT WHERE HE SORT OF BECAME THE MEG OF THE BEER BAR BUDDIES, JOE BECAME SORT OF DOWNTRODDEN AND DEPRESSED. HE WAS A LOT MORE OQUIET AND PRONE TO WALLOWING IN HIS SADNESS, WHEN PEOPLE ABUSED HIM, HED MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, SIT ON HIS ASS AND TAKE IT, RATHER THAN FIGHT BACK THIS WASN'T JUST RESERVED FOR HIS FRIENDS, AS HIS WIFE, BONNIE ALSO STARTED TO RESPECT HIM EVEN LESS. ALTHOUGH BONNIE WAS A DEVOTED WIFE AT FIRST AND DIDN'T LET JOE'S HANDICAP RUIN THEIR MARRIMGE, LATER SEASONS SHOWED HER OPENLY ADMITTING HER DISPLEASURE WITH JOE, CHEATING ON JOE, AND EVEN MAKING NUMEROUS MURDER ATTEMPTS ON JOE. ALL OF THIS SLIGHT, JOE WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO. AS AN ENFORCER OF THE LAW, JOE IS SORT OF THE VOICE OF REASON TO THE GROUP. HE MAKES SURE NONE OF THE BEER BAR BUDDIES TO ANYTHING ILLEGAL. THIS IS WHY HE IS EXCLUDED FROM MOST OF THEIR ACTIVITIES. HE IS SEEN AS A COMPLETE DOWNER. IN LATER SEASONS, HOWEVER, JOE STOPPED HAVING POLE UP HIS ASS AND STARTED PARTAKING IN FUN, ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES WITH THE GUYS, WHICH MAY HAVE GOTTEN HIM LESS RESPECT AT WORK, BUT IT DID EARN HIM MORE RESPECT FROM HIS FRIENDS, EVEN IF THAT RESPECT WAS OVERSHADOWED BY THEIR AFOREMENTIONED CONSTANT BARRAGE OF ABLEISM. JOE HAS SEVERE ANGER ISSUES WHICH OFTEN MANIFEST IN EXPLOSIVELY VIOLENT OUTBURST AT RANDONM TIMES THROUGHOUT THE SHOW. AN EXAMPLE OF THIS IS BEATING HIS SON NEVIN IN A BLIND RAGE TO THE POINT NEVIN HAD TO LIVE WITH A FOSTER FAMILY, AND SHOOTING THE LEFT OVERS OF HIS 160Z STEAK THEN TURNING THE GUN ON HIS FRIENDS AFTER BEING MOCKED FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO FINISH IT IN "THE FAT GUY STRANGLER". JOE IS ARGUABLY THE BEST HAND TO HAND FIGHTER IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. DESPITE HIS CONDITION, IT HAS BEEN SEEN ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS THAT HE IS ABLE TO COMPLETELY OVERWHELM OTHER CHARACTERS WHO ARE ACCOMPLISHED FIGHTERS IN THEIR OWN RIGHT SUCH AS LOIS GRIFFIN, A BLACK BELT AND PETER, KNOWN FOR LONG VIOLENT BATTLES WITH ERNIE THE GIANT CHICKEN. JOE HAS ALSO SHOWN THE ABILITY TO EASILY TAKE ON MULTIPLE ENEMIES AT ONCE SUCH AS HIS ENCOUNTER A LARGE NUMBER OF ARMED MIDGETS IN "THE THIN WHITE LINE AND PETER, QUAGMIRE, AND CLEVELAND IN "BELIEVE IT OR NOT, JOE'S WALKING ON AIR". IN "DA BOOM" IT IS SHOWN THAT DESPITE THE LOWER PART OF HIS BODY BEING MELTED INTO HIS DRIVEWAY, JOE IS PERFECTLY ABLE TO FIGHT AND DEFEAT A GIANT MUTATED RAT, HOWEVER, JDE IS NOT UNBEATABLE. WHILE CONTROLLING THE CRIPPLETRON IN "NO MEALS ON WHEELS", HE WAS TAKEN DOWN BY STEWIE GRIFFIN AT LEAST IN PART DUE TO HIS SMALL SIZE AND AGILITY. IN "JOE'S REVENGE, HE LOST THE UPPER HAND IN A FIGHT TO BOBBY BRIGGS, AND ONLY MANAGEDTO RECOVER THROUGH QUICK THINKING ON HIS PART Hey I am the yo mama guy!
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