Asking For
Asking For

Asking For

Epically
Epically

Epically

Epicly
Epicly

Epicly

Levels
Levels

Levels

Sits
Sits

Sits

Dad Stop
Dad Stop

Dad Stop

The
The

The

Dont Know
Dont Know

Dont Know

The Door
The Door

The Door

You Ok
You Ok

You Ok

🔥 Popular | Latest

Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
Anaconda, Apple, and Cars: Katie Notopoulos @katienotopoulos What was "the incident" in your high school? 8:28 PM 25 Dec 17 1,992 Retweets 7,994 Likes derpsquadk-pop: chocolate-cloud-artist: foxflaim: cubeget: libertarirynn: Most of my “incidents“ occurred in college because I was homeschooled. They include: The time a mentally ill homeless man looked up porn on the library computer and then wandered campus claiming he was Jesus. The time the school announced in the middle of the week that if we didn’t get our financial shit together immediately, the school would shut down in a few days and those of us in the middle of completing our majors would be boned. The time our financial advisor was caught embezzling a quarter million dollars The guy who wandered campus in a blue gimp suit A clique of students I never personally knew arrived to school with a Mexican flag and hung it up on the wall of the cafeteria when lunch time came around. They then stood up on the tables and proceeded to chant “F*ck Trump” and tried to get others in the lunch room to join in. They were semi-successful, and the crowd grew larger. This was, of course, not 100% safe for school grounds, so all the staff of the school had to step in to calm things down. This only made them more upset, and the group turned into a small riot, ultimately leading up to the police arriving on campus and me being hit in the head by an airborn apple as i was sitting down at one of the lunch tables watching it unfold. I wasn’t even hungry that day. Okay, but you missed a couple things, my dude. Things picked up, not when they tried to calm people down, but when an administrator came in and took the flag down, because it wasn’t appropriate school behavior and it was blocking a clock. And this wasn’t just a food fight, but a full blown riot. I’m talking, trash cans were thrown, people had cuncusioun, someone got a few people were convinced that it wasn’t the police, but ICE, or what ever it was called there to arrest people. The entire school went into lockdown and there was around ten or so police cars in the parking lot. They wouldn’t let us leave through the front door, but made everyone shuffle out through the back bus lot. Also, going to the nearby park, there at least 25 more cop cars waiting just in case.Interesting day. That day was a mess, a literal and figurative mess. It really was😩😩 I was just trying to get to class but got stampeded by all the rioting students who were exiting the cafeteria. Yoooooo wtf?
Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to the bathroom together Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. “If you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to Beyoncé. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull
Fuck You, Internet, and Smh: Sprint 1:52 AM The fuck you ban me for Smh thought you were cool I'm tired of admin abuse this server right untill I take over and do it l have you and you fk boi admins think they are invincible on the internet gets 1 time to make ips both rooted im sick of Unban me now and make it where I can type in discord or actions will be taken your last warning didn't wanna bring it to this causel haven't done anything like this in awhile but tired of yall Have fun :) with your stupid decision dm me now or,enjoy the consequences You had no reason to ban me in the first place there fore you will unban me or actions will be taken and actions meaning test me think I won't make your computer not functional Today at 1:45 AM i kicked you for staff disrespect, you joined back and began threatening me and you've now threatened other staff. i banned you for 2 hours to let you cool down You cannot send messages to a user you have blocked Unblock Sprint 1:52 AM i kicked you for staff disrespect, you joined back and began threatening me and you've now threatened other staff. i banned you for 2 hours to let you cool down 4 BLOCKED MESSAGES oday at 1:45 AM Better research the or before you respond You guys legit don't understand what I can do with the power of the internet it wasn't a threat but a promise I was banned for no reason To began wjth With oday at 1:47 AM i'm blocking you on discord because i have O interest in being threatened Today at 1:48 AM also i thought i'd let you know, i'll be extending your ban to 1 month. have a nice night. 1 BLOCKED MESSAGE oday at 1:48 AM So block,me and that's your absolute worse thing you can do rn TK You cannot send messages to a user you have blocked. Unblock Badass *cracks knuckles* is about to show his enemies whose boss!
Friday, Heroin, and Memes: CHCA U.S. NEWS OXY ART PROTEST Jun 25 | A 10 foot long sculpture made to look like a spoon used to cook heroin was unloaded outside of Purdue Pharma's headquarters Boston-based sculptor Domenic Esposito unloaded a 10 foot long sculpture of a spoon intended to resemble the the utensil used to cook heroin in front of Purdue Pharma’s headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut. Purdue Pharma are the makers of the painkiller OxyContin, and have received a lot of criticism from legislators, regulators and relatives of the dead about their drug leading to dependency and serving as a gateway to other narcotics like heroin. ___ The spoon sculpture was unveiled Friday morning, and was removed that afternoon on orders of the police. The gallery owner, Fernando Luis Alvarez, was arrested and led away in handcuffs after refusing to move the spoon sculpture that was blocking Purdue’s driveway. “I think this is an important matter,” Mr. Alvarez said. “People are dying.” ___ Purdue spokesman, Robert Josephson said in a statement: - “We share the protesters’ concern about the opioid crisis and respect their right to peacefully express themselves.” ___ Esposito spent about six weeks rendering the spoon from steel. The artist said it was intended to reflect the experience of a relative who started to use OxyContin and Percocet experimentally before turning to heroin. ___ Photo: Gregg Vigliotti | The New York Times

Boston-based sculptor Domenic Esposito unloaded a 10 foot long sculpture of a spoon intended to resemble the the utensil used to cook heroin...