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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
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Advil, Food, and News: When should I take: acetaminophen vs. ibuprofen? While both acetaminophen and ibuprofen provide relief these popular pain medications treat different ailments. Find out which remedy is best for you and how to take it correctly IBUPROFEN (Advil or Motrin) ACETAMINOPHEN (Tylenol) Pain Relief Best for Best for Muscle aches and joint pain Headaches Inflammation and swelling Lowering fever Menstrual pain Possible Side Effects . Upset stomach . Skin rash and blisters Heartburn . Stomach pain Warning: Stop taking immediately if a rash occurs. Tip: Take with food to help prevent upset stomach and ulcers. Toxicity . Increased risk of . Potential liver damage heart attack or stroke e Potential kidney damage Caution Be cautious of taking cold medications if you've already taken pain medicine. Many cold medications also contain acetaminophen, which may appear abbreviated as "APAP or "Acetam." Other over-the-counter products like naproxen (Aleve) are in the same class as ibuprofen and should not be taken WARNING Do NOT take Do NOT take: If you drink more than 3 alcoholic drinks per day If you have stomach ulcers or are taking blood pressure medication From the expert Both acetaminophen and ibuprofen are helpful for pain relief and reducing fever. However, ibuprofen also helps reduce sweling, while acetaminophen is generally safer and rarely has side effects. Remember that although both medications are available over-the- counter, each still carries risks Only take on an a basis and be careful not to exceed the recommended daily maximum dosage - Marwah Desoky, lead pharmacist at Sharp Coronado www.sharp.com/news 2016 Sharp HealthCare. All rights reserved SHARP medicalbasics: pain relief #nursingschool #nurse #rn #nursing #nurses #nursingstudent #resources #study #inspiration #school #tips - http://bit.ly/2ByDqHG According to my pharmacist mother some studies have shown that taking ibuprofen or another NSAID such as Aleve and then taking Tylenol a few hours later has the same pain killing power of narcotics without the addictive factor. That’s the combo I use when my cramps are really acting up.

medicalbasics: pain relief #nursingschool #nurse #rn #nursing #nurses #nursingstudent #resources #study #inspiration #school #tips - http:/...

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Anaconda, Energy, and Food: t1 Gravitas Free Zone Retweeted db pooper @lonelydandruff 2h I just realised americans think their medicine costs as much as they're charged for it Your Trusted Wizard @Choplogik iguess if i was an american & saw all the wildly exorbitant medical bills people get i would wonder how universal healthcare'd get paid for 07 216 357 bogleech: the-library-alcove: flyingfishtailoutpost1: thebibliosphere: lizardtitties: withasmoothroundstone: robstmartin: titleknown: Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny… This…. This never occurred to me. Not once. That Americans are against Health Care because they think it actually costs tens of thousands of dollars for a broken arm, hundreds of thousands for a complicated birth, millions for cancer treatment. Because they’ve never known anything different. The idea that a broken arm is only a couple hundred bucks; a complicated birth a couple thousand; cancer treatment only tens of thousands; all easily covered by existing tax structures. This explains a lot.  And it’s a good example of what I was talking about in my post on scarcity being used to prop up ableism – always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.  Even if it seems obvious that it is, quite often that’s the result of careful manipulation and misconceptions that you’re not even aware of.   And never think you’re too smart to be fooled by that kind of thing, it doesn’t work like that.  Similarly, don’t think people who are fooled by something are stupid.  Nobody can have all the information about everything, and nobody has the time and energy to investigate and put together conscious conclusions about every piece of information they’re given.  It doesn’t take being stupid, or even just gullible, to believe something like this. I currently live in a country without free medical care and still, it’s enormously cheap compared to the USA. An American expat wrote a piece for our English language paper about how she paid more for parking at the hospital than giving birth to her baby that’s pretty interesting: https://grapevine.is/mag/articles/2016/01/06/healthcare-in-iceland-vs-the-us-weve-got-it-so-good/ Yesterday I had to go to the hospital cause I injured my eye, I’m frankly dreading what the bill is going to be, but what made me balk was being told in the pharmacy that my insurance was denied for the antibiotic eye drops and it’d be over $100 out of pocket. So I didn’t get my eyedrops. I’ve had these same drops before living in the UK. They cost me seven GBP. It’s the exact same drug, same steroid, same strain of antibiotic. But somehow the US gets away with charging $100 for a generic non brand version of a drug which is easy to create and widely used. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. You keep the poor poor by making sure basic necessities remain unattainable and then you make it seem like the norm so no one fights it. The rest of the world is not like this. Eat the rich. Resist. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. THIS. THISTHISTHIS. THIS IS WHAT I KEEP TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE. My blood pressure medication (Candesartan) costs between $40-$125 USD for 30 tablets in the US.Here in Germany, 98 tablets costs me 5 Euro. The worst part is, the people pocketing the most of this money are powerful enough to keep it this way, and in the event that legislation of some kind actually brought prices down, they could cry to the government that their profits were taken from them and lobby to “make up” their losses in some way that you can guarantee will still hurt the lower classes.Most likely, they would end up getting billions in corporate welfare, and when it came time to make any budget cuts, they’d be able to use the same influence to keep their handouts while welfare and food stamps for poorer, hungrier people end up on the chopping block first.
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Cars, Juice, and Memes: Today, I fucked up... by calling a locksmith when l was "locked out"of my car groud-On: today-ifuckedup: I'll preface this by saying I'm usually not a stupid man but I was at the end of my third 16 hour shift in a row and I was very tired. I'll make this quick: I got off work, went out to my car, hit the button for the doors on my remote unlocker as usual. Nothing happened. I tried it a few more times battery must be dead. I stand there for 10 minutes, mashing the little button, hoping for enough juice to open the doors. Nada I call a locksmith, explain that I'm locked out of my car. He says he'll be right over. 20 minutes later he arrives. He walks up with his tools, inserts a thing that looks like a blood pressure cuff in the door jamb. He starts making conversation as it inflates, pushing the door open: So locked your keys in the car? No problem sir, I'lI have it open in a minute. No, my keys are right here, my key fob is dead." I replied He stops and for about 10 seconds. Doesn't say a word. He sees my keys in my hands. Takes them from me, inserts them in the lock and opens the door I was mortified. I was so in a habit of opening the doors with my remote fob that I entirely forgot that keys could be used to unlock cars manually He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. After he stopped laughing, he told me there was no charge. The story he'd have to tell was worth the drive out Gold I'm dying at what @memezar just posted 😂😂
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Anaconda, Bodies , and Books: The most likely chemical in chocolate that might explain its feel-good effect is PEA, of which there can be up to 700 mg in a 100 g bar (0.7%). Most chocolate contains much less than this, and a more typical amount would be 50-100 mg. In its pure state PEA is an oily liquid with a fishlike smell, and it can be made in the laboratory from ammonia. (PEA has the curious property of absorbing carbon dioxide from the air.) When people are injected with PEA, the level of glucose in their blood goes up and so does their blood pressure. These effects combine to produce a feeling of well-being and alertness. PEA may trigger the release of dopamine, which is the brain chemical that makes us feel happy, in which case PEA would be acting in the same way as amphetamines such as ecstasy. PEA and ecstasy molecules are roughly the same shape and size, and this has led to the suggestion that they might work in the same way, but scientific proof is lacking that they do. Our own bodies produce tiny but detectable amounts of PEA naturally, and it is formed from an essential dietary amino acid called phenylalanine. The level of natural PEA varies and it increases when we are under stress. It is also higher than normal in schizophrenics and hyperactive children, but this is more likely to be a symptom of these conditions rather than their cause. Not everyone can cope with a sudden influx of PEA, which is why some people are sensitive to chocolate, often suffering a violent headache if they eat too much. This happens because the excess PEA constricts the walls of blood vessels in the brain. The human body has little use for PEA and employs an enzyme, monoamine oxidase, to dispose of it. People whose bodies are intolerant of chocolate appear to have difficulty making enough of the enzyme to prevent the PEA building up to levels that triggers migraines. symbisexual-disaster: Trying to learn more about chocolate and PEA, thought this was an interesting resource! Link In order to get his fix, Venom probably stops the MAO enzyme from getting rid of the PEA. Then he just sucks it up himself so that Eddie doesn’t get headaches. If I’m understanding this right, a chocolate-intolerant person would greatly benefit from bonding with a symbiote. Since chocolate-intolerants don’t make enough of the MAO enzyme, they need to either a) not eat chocolate ever if they don’t want a migraine or b) hook up with a symbiote that will slurp it up for them!  So it might be fun to write either Eddie or an OC who could never enjoy chocolate before, but after bonding, somehow is actually able to? Fun fun. 

symbisexual-disaster: Trying to learn more about chocolate and PEA, thought this was an interesting resource! Link In order to get his fix, ...

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Advice, Ass, and Cats: SHAME YOUR CAT NOW MyCatFromHell Every cat's life is... CHAME YOUR CAT NOW MyCatFromHell HAME YOUR CAT NOW PMyCatFromHell Every cats life is worth something. bornthiswayward #i've reblogged this like twice#and i think some people are reblogging this as a joke#but bless this man and what he stands for femmadilemma how is this funny to anyone Those people obviously don't realize the extremely high kill rate for cats at shelters, not to mention that people literally dump indoor cats outside when they don't want them anymore, and indoor cats often die due to starvation/predators (duh they have no survival skills) Also I might also be crying drunkvanity Jackson Galaxy is awesome. His story is is that he used to be a drug addict, and that while he was in the beginning of his recovery he saved a stray cat and nursed it back to life, and in return the cat essentially did the same for him, and ever since then, he's taught himself everything there is to know about cats and since then, he's tanin re thcsavea behaorCat staughthm ea their behavior. Cats saved his life, so he's saving cats lives. He's awesome rogueofstorms His show has taught me more about how to take care of a cat than I learned from growing up with one himteckerjam Jackson Galaxy is the patron fucking saint of cats and I swear to god I will fight anybody coming for him You will catch these hands anightvaleintern I don.t like when people make fun of Jackson Galaxy when he gets emotional Because a) I get r over cats too, fuck you and b.) its mostly because he's a man and a patriarchal belief that men can't really fucking emotional cry or have feelings academicfeminist PLUS! He actually gives GREAT behavior advice, unlike another TV personality who works with canines and shall not be named because my blood pressure can't handle his ass n every cats life is
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Bad, Bailey Jay, and Click: softlyfiercely pervocracy: dysgraphicprogrammer pervocracy: How to hack any hospital computer -Use the password taped to the monitor How to hack any hospital computer (L337 version for advanced security systems) -Use the password taped to the back of the monitor As a computer guy: This is what happens when you have too much security. It reaches a tipping point and then suddenly you have none Security at the cost of convenience comes at the cost of security This is true of so many things in healthcare. Example: our software is designed to automatically alert the doctor if a patient's vital signs are critically out of range. If someone has a blood pressure of 200/130, the doc gets a pop-up box that they have to acknowledge before doing anything else. It makes sense, in our setting But then some mega-genius upstairs realized something: the system was only alerting for critical vital signs, but not for all vital signs that could possibly be bad. Like, yeah, 200/130 is potentially life- threatening, but 130/90 is above ideal and can have negative effects on health. Should the doctors be allowed to just ignore something that could negatively affect a patient's health? Heavens no! So now the system generates a pop-up for any vital signs that are even slightly abnormal. A pressure of 120/80 (once considered textbook normal, now considered slightly high) will create the pop up. We have increased our vigilance! Well, no, what we've actually done is train doctors to click through a constant bombardment of pop-ups without looking. We've destroyed their vigilance and made it much easier for them to accidentally skim past life-threatening vital signs But you can't tell that to management, because you'd have to confess that you are a flawed human with limited attention resources They'd tell you "well, all the other doctors take every abnormal vital sign seriously, it sounds like you're being negligent." And if you're smart, you back down before you start telling the big boss all about your habit of ignoring critical safety alert:s The end result is exactly the same as if we had no alerts at all, except with more annoying clicking this here is an absolutely fascinating overview of how and why this happens A fascinating look at the intersection of technology and healthcare, and how we still have a lot to figure out

A fascinating look at the intersection of technology and healthcare, and how we still have a lot to figure out

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Apparently, Barcelona, and Chill: did you know? There's a song that's been proven to reduce anxiety by 65%. It's called Weightless by Macaroni Union, and it was specifically designed to slow your heart rate, reduce blood pressure, and lower cortisol levels. It's so effective that it's dangerous to drive while listening to it because it can make you drowsy. DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM d-structive: the-dm-diet-steve: suanpir: jackscarab: caw-caw-mothercluckers: did-you-kno: There’s a song that’s been proven to reduce anxiety by 65%. It’s called Weightless by Macaroni Union, and it was specifically designed to slow your heart rate, reduce blood pressure, and lower cortisol levels. It’s so effective that it’s dangerous to drive while listening to it because it can make you drowsy. Source Source 2 Source 3 YO O_O I knew within seconds that I’d heard this before. It was one of the first Tumblr posts I favorited. Sound therapists and Manchester band Marconi Union compiled the song. Scientists played it to 40 women and found it to be more effective at helping them relax than songs by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay.Weightless works by using specific rhythms, tones, frequencies and intervals to relax the listener. A continuous rhythm of 60 BPM causes the brainwaves and heart rate to synchronise with the rhythm: a process known as ‘entrainment’. Low underlying bass tones relax the listener and a low whooshing sound with a trance-like quality takes the listener into an even deeper state of calm.Dr David Lewis, one of the UK’s leading stress specialists said: “‘Weightless’ induced the greatest relaxation – higher than any of the other music tested. Brain imaging studies have shown that music works at a very deep level within the brain, stimulating not only those regions responsible for processing sound but also ones associated with emotions.”The study - commissioned by bubble bath and shower gel firm Radox Spa - found the song was even more relaxing than a massage, walk or cup of tea. So relaxing is the tune, apparently, that people are being Rex advised against listening to it while driving.The top 10 most relaxing tunes were: 1. Marconi Union - Weightless 2. Airstream - Electra 3. DJ Shah - Mellomaniac (Chill Out Mix) 4. Enya - Watermark 5. Coldplay - Strawberry Swing 6. Barcelona - Please Don’t Go 7. All Saints - Pure Shores 8. AdelevSomeone Like You 9. Mozart - Canzonetta Sull’aria 10. Cafe Del Mar - We Can Fly One of the comments suggests pairing it with Rainymood. The combined calm might be weaponized with adding this song and some crackling fire. When I was literally unable to sleep at all, my senior at work gave me this song to listen to! My wife uses this song when she’s having near-meltdown levels of anxiety right before bed and it helps her relax and shed some of that stress enough for her to attempt to lie down and sleep. Personally, it works with me. It gives you (me, at least) a vague sense of anxiety at the very begin, but then it disappears completely, as long you focus on the heartbeat sound.

d-structive: the-dm-diet-steve: suanpir: jackscarab: caw-caw-mothercluckers: did-you-kno: There’s a song that’s been proven to reduce...

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