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paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca : I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS STUCK IN MY GILLS! I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS! WHITETIP SHARK CLEANER WRASSE I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS I NEED NECTAR TO EAT! TICKSEED FLOWERS BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL, BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER! COMMON RAVEN COYOTE I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS! I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED! COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA DOTTED HUMMING FROG M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM /w/Av[ paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca
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ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet. : There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is loo...

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ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet. : There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is loo...

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Know your Hollywood history, kids: throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight hellalambs ibroketuesday: paper-mario-wiki i'll never get over the fact that there's a movie called "snakes on a plane" and in that movie there's a line that is, verbatim, "ive had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane that is absolutely bonkers. that's ridiculous. that's like making a movie called "gators in the sewer" and having someone in the movie say "im getting really sick and tired of these fucking gators in the sewer" the funny part is that the alternate title was something mundane like "flight 93" and samuel I. jackson made the director change it back to "snakes on a plane bc he said it was the only reason he auditioned oh my god, the youth have forgotten that there was a huge viral phenomenon when t got wind of the working title snakes on a plane, and a) demanded that title be made official, b) CAME UP WITH the line about these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane, and c) GOT THE LINE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE his movie w as being filmed, where the internet You forgot the part where three up and coming bands in the emo scene collaborated to write a song called Snakes On a Plane and filmed a music video of themselves smuggling snakes onto a plane, and it practically launched all of their careers If you think for one second of my worthless life I have forgotten "Bring It (Snakes on a Plane) released by Cobra Starship (2006) then you can think the fuck again It was right their in their name, too... cobras... on a starship Know your Hollywood history, kids
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gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) : There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)

gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates,...

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