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Ladies are the real MVPs. From the mamas getting up early to change diapers, to the working ladies making that money, to the ladies who do both - wake up, change a diaper, AND go make money while her man still schleep (I know more than a few of these ... good dick can take an otherwise down on his luck man far ... very far πŸ€—πŸ˜‚). But there is a special category of MVP I'd like to highlight today. She a soldier. Not like a soldier for real where she fighting in Iraq against ISIS but a solider of love. This is the woman whose man work the night shift. And she his booty call. So she up faithfully every morning at 5 am not to change a diaper or go to work (well, maybe she does those too), but rather to show up at dude's door and let his tired, weary ass, exhausted from hauling shit all night, knock that Punani out the frame after his shift so he can doze blissfully while the rest of the world wakes up πŸ€—. Now please note. This is a different MVP than the 3 am booty call. The 3 am booty call is also a tenacious species of woman. But she a lil wild too. She get it. She know her man was out and about doing what he do and she perfectly good with waiting for that Saturday night call so she can bat clean-up. She ain't everything on his mind, she just wanna be the last thing on his mind. Nah. Not the 5 am piece. The 5 am piece took a short nap, set alarms, showered. U feel me? She changed her entire schedule for dude. This is a lifestyle. This ain't a one off thing. She exemplifies dedication and devotion to the dick that is truly divine πŸ˜‡. Shout to u 5 am ladies Bruh. In a sea of MVPs, your dedication shows no bounds. Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚: baby giraffe with his mouth full @Drsmashlove Ladies are the real MVPs. From the mamas getting up early to change diapers, to the working ladies making that money, to the ladies who do both - wake up, change a diaper, AND go make money while her man still schleep (I know more than a few of these ... good dick can take an otherwise down on his luck man far ... very far πŸ€—πŸ˜‚). But there is a special category of MVP I'd like to highlight today. She a soldier. Not like a soldier for real where she fighting in Iraq against ISIS but a solider of love. This is the woman whose man work the night shift. And she his booty call. So she up faithfully every morning at 5 am not to change a diaper or go to work (well, maybe she does those too), but rather to show up at dude's door and let his tired, weary ass, exhausted from hauling shit all night, knock that Punani out the frame after his shift so he can doze blissfully while the rest of the world wakes up πŸ€—. Now please note. This is a different MVP than the 3 am booty call. The 3 am booty call is also a tenacious species of woman. But she a lil wild too. She get it. She know her man was out and about doing what he do and she perfectly good with waiting for that Saturday night call so she can bat clean-up. She ain't everything on his mind, she just wanna be the last thing on his mind. Nah. Not the 5 am piece. The 5 am piece took a short nap, set alarms, showered. U feel me? She changed her entire schedule for dude. This is a lifestyle. This ain't a one off thing. She exemplifies dedication and devotion to the dick that is truly divine πŸ˜‡. Shout to u 5 am ladies Bruh. In a sea of MVPs, your dedication shows no bounds. Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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AldenRants 15-50 @Theultimatetrashlord asked me to rant about people who don't clean up their tables at fast food restaurants! D-D-D-DON'T GET MEEWEE EEWEE STARRRRararar..tttt.....eeeeeee......d YOU FUCKING TABLE-TOPPING NAPKINWADS THINK YOU'RE TOOOOO GOOD TO PILE TOGETHER ALL THE PACKAGING AND WASTE LEFTOVER FROM YOUR HORRIDLY GRUESOME DISPLAY OF SPEEDY MEATY EATY TIME AND SIMPLY PERFORM THE TASK OF DUMPING IT IN A HOLE??? WELL LITTLE DO YOUR SUB-PRIMAL MINDS UNDERSTAND IS THAT BY FEELING TOO "above all that" YOU'VE COUNTERACTIVELY RELINQUISHED YOURSELF FROM BEING IN ANY POSITION WORTHY OF DIGNITY. You've heard of the food chain, right? WELL GET READY FOR THE NOT IN ANY WAY PREDICTABLE TERM I JUST COINED CALLED THE FAST FOOD FOOD CHAIN. AND YOU'RE NOW ON THE BOTTOM OF IT YOU SLOBBY SACKS OF PRIMORDIAL SHIT NUGGETS. A bystander observing your poor fast food etiquette has no other option other than to assume that your parents simply MUST HAVE both died before they could teach you how not to be an asshole, but instead of growing up to become Batman, you were unfortunately left to fester in an abandoned wasteland and later on acquire the annoying habit of not proving yourself capable of accomPLISHING EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL FORM OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOURSELF. A HABIT SO IRRITABLE, IT COULD MAKE EVEN RONALD MCDONALD SAY "I'M HATIN IT": moon blossom anna omgz Never scroll past a twerking soldier. Thank you for serving our country with your brave booty. Officer Booty reporting for duty. Call of Booty Call of Booty: Back Dat Ass Ops. AldenRants 15-50 @Theultimatetrashlord asked me to rant about people who don't clean up their tables at fast food restaurants! D-D-D-DON'T GET MEEWEE EEWEE STARRRRararar..tttt.....eeeeeee......d YOU FUCKING TABLE-TOPPING NAPKINWADS THINK YOU'RE TOOOOO GOOD TO PILE TOGETHER ALL THE PACKAGING AND WASTE LEFTOVER FROM YOUR HORRIDLY GRUESOME DISPLAY OF SPEEDY MEATY EATY TIME AND SIMPLY PERFORM THE TASK OF DUMPING IT IN A HOLE??? WELL LITTLE DO YOUR SUB-PRIMAL MINDS UNDERSTAND IS THAT BY FEELING TOO "above all that" YOU'VE COUNTERACTIVELY RELINQUISHED YOURSELF FROM BEING IN ANY POSITION WORTHY OF DIGNITY. You've heard of the food chain, right? WELL GET READY FOR THE NOT IN ANY WAY PREDICTABLE TERM I JUST COINED CALLED THE FAST FOOD FOOD CHAIN. AND YOU'RE NOW ON THE BOTTOM OF IT YOU SLOBBY SACKS OF PRIMORDIAL SHIT NUGGETS. A bystander observing your poor fast food etiquette has no other option other than to assume that your parents simply MUST HAVE both died before they could teach you how not to be an asshole, but instead of growing up to become Batman, you were unfortunately left to fester in an abandoned wasteland and later on acquire the annoying habit of not proving yourself capable of accomPLISHING EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL FORM OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOURSELF. A HABIT SO IRRITABLE, IT COULD MAKE EVEN RONALD MCDONALD SAY "I'M HATIN IT"
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Shout to u girls that's gon text me at 3 am bruh. See I can't just text u at 3 am. If I do so, I'm a dog looking for a midnight bone. That's that insomnia sex text. "I can't sleep baby 😘". Which mean "aye come over and fvck me senseless - be my organic Benadryl" lol. Which means I like u AF - but YOU gon think I'm looking for a booty call and I don't like to telegraph that to a girl I like (also I'm not up at 3 am. I'm schleep - like everyone else who got a real job πŸ˜‚). Nah but see when a GIRL text me at 3 am that's when I know I'm the one she thinking about at 3 am. That's a honor. As a man...that's who u WANNA be. It mean she up at night like "oooooh I wonder what his sexy ass doing - maybe in the off chance he awake, he can come beat the brakes straight off this lil Punani πŸ˜›". I mean what's the alternative? That u take a girl out. Have a good time. Enjoy the night. And then she text ANOTHER dude at 3 am like "hey daddy ☺️". Aw hell nah - she got u double fucked up with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side and a dark chocolate reduction on top. U gotta be both. U gotta be her partner in crime AND her partner in the sack. You'll know if u are...Just look for that 3 am text, ya get me! Bless up πŸ™Œ: OH MY GOD @DrSmashlove Shout to u girls that's gon text me at 3 am bruh. See I can't just text u at 3 am. If I do so, I'm a dog looking for a midnight bone. That's that insomnia sex text. "I can't sleep baby 😘". Which mean "aye come over and fvck me senseless - be my organic Benadryl" lol. Which means I like u AF - but YOU gon think I'm looking for a booty call and I don't like to telegraph that to a girl I like (also I'm not up at 3 am. I'm schleep - like everyone else who got a real job πŸ˜‚). Nah but see when a GIRL text me at 3 am that's when I know I'm the one she thinking about at 3 am. That's a honor. As a man...that's who u WANNA be. It mean she up at night like "oooooh I wonder what his sexy ass doing - maybe in the off chance he awake, he can come beat the brakes straight off this lil Punani πŸ˜›". I mean what's the alternative? That u take a girl out. Have a good time. Enjoy the night. And then she text ANOTHER dude at 3 am like "hey daddy ☺️". Aw hell nah - she got u double fucked up with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side and a dark chocolate reduction on top. U gotta be both. U gotta be her partner in crime AND her partner in the sack. You'll know if u are...Just look for that 3 am text, ya get me! Bless up πŸ™Œ
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Anon gets a New Fetish: C File: devito kim f (885 KB, 308x397 Anonymous 04/06/16 (Wed)22:15:48 No. 678080680 Reply] WINTER 201 Story Time /b/ Thought I'd share some of my strange sexcapades >Be me 27 grad student, late last year >Get on a bunch of dating apps to try and get some >Bitches rarely respond (and guys are the shallow ones) >Get a bite >hotbitch.jpg >36 year milf with long brown hair fingers crossed >start messaging her and she responds >shes a huge bears fan, even has a dog named Walter Payton >we start texting >shew ont doit jpg >one night she calls me out of the blue tells me some guys were making fun of her at a bar for being a bears fan wants me to come up to meet her >here we fucking go >I go up to meet her more? 678080860 678081363 678081403 678081507 678081546 Anonymous 04/06/16 (Wed)22:21:16 No. 678081363 22678081590 678080680 (OP >she's a bit bigger than her pictures, but what bitch isn't that you find online >She's plastered >We go sit out on the patio of this bar >bitch starts confessing her life story to me >gets to the part in the story about one year ago tells me her crazy ex raped her while holding a gun to her head >allofmywat jpg >try to keep a straight face she starts crying telling me how tough it is raising two daughters herself >l put on my best game face and try and sympathize >she starts calming down and wants to invite me over >l keep asking if she's sober enough for that >l follow her to her place and we go in her room O Anonymous 04/06/16 (Wed)22:23:06 No. 678081590 2267808195422678082529 678081363 no condom >fuck she says she can't get pregnant and doesn't have periods >we fuck like rabbits and it was good >bang on the reg for another week >one day she tells me she wants us to stop because she wants to settle down with someone who's planning on staying here U Anonymous 04/06/16 (Wed)22:26:01 No. 678081954 2>678082183 >>678082232 >>6780824462 678082583 2>678082771 File: Screen Shot 2016-04-07 at png (113 KB, 498x610) 678081590 >godfuckingdammit.jpg radio silence for about 4 months t a fb message from her hey, so I went to the doctor and got a not so good diagnosis" >fuck, I've got the hiv claims she can't walk I was wondering if you wanted to come over and see if this has already taken that from me >lneedtothinkaboutthis.jpg she freaks says she's sorry she asked >l stop her and think this may be a crazy attempt at a booty call nope >get to her place and she's in a wheelchair what the fuck have I gotten myself into? pic directly related keep going? Anonymous 04/06/16 (Wed)22:30:57 No. 678082583 678082709 678082718 678082790 678082860 678082973 678083029 678081954 >she took her bed off the frame so it sits lower and she can get in and out easier >we talk for a few and then take a trip to poundtown >I'm on top (naturally) and at first she's enjoying it makinlovetolifelesslegsaintsobad.jpg >all of a sudden she's not into it anymore tilts her head to the side this bitch starts crying while l'm n her Anonymous 04/06/16 (Wed)22:34:27 No. 678083029 2 678083124 2>6Z80831472>678083281 2-878083289 678082583 >wtf do I do now? Do keep going? ask her if she wants me to stop >she barely gets out a no without choking up >l keep going, fucking this crying paralyzed chick >thisismylifenow.jpg >Think of the most fucked up fetish s I'm into to try and finish >cum in her numb poon and roll over >ask if she's ok and she thanked me for coming over and she thinks I should go >l walk out the door to my car emotionally fucked up having just fucked a cripple >and that's how I got my new fetish! I've got another story about another girl if anyone's interested Anon gets a New Fetish
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