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Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally p...

Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally ...

Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1-A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. owl-librarian #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek deadmomjokes Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there's no way you're getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn't supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they'd seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I'm saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway. wearemage I mean thats some fine scenario material, isn't it? Refer to article Eldritch Locations and You for more information

Refer to article Eldritch Locations and You for more information

Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below) uov Or have. TAko, a . cour You look HANèicu Stup beis ASer OHFILE Dear Passive Aggressive Douche, First and foremost: In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to research this then you would have never needed to leave me this offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and felt like being a social justice hero. Secondly: Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even know who you are. By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped person "looks like. Asshole Lastly You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT be Sincerely The guy who doesn't look handicapped srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet
Bad, Clothes, and God: bex @ressurectionist 11m i dont care that much usually bc i know it's only a joke but the mikey we're seeing is finally truly happy after years of addiction stemming from severe mental illness and i'd find jokes like 'what happened to him' funnier if we acknowledged that it's a good thing he's happy now bex @ressurectionist 8m 'cos for all the 'what happened to twink mikey he became a het' etc type jokes we hardly ever see actual recognition for the shit he went through to become someone he actually likes and that puts a bad taste in my mouth bex @ressurectionist 6m bc no one seems to care that he's happy they just want him to go back to the anxious depressed wreck of revenge mikey because they like the aesthetic more?? nah mate i dont love his new style either but god at least he's not dying anymore holy shit bex @ressurectionist tldr i just think those jokes would be much funnier and in a lot better taste if we recognised that it's overall a good thing that he's changed from his mcr self because he's clearly much more mentally stable and much happier with himself now even if u dont like how he dresses 9:16 AM - 18 lan 2019 cellabrated: cellabrated: cellabrated: i’m not the best at articulating but i wrote some thoughts on twitter and couldn’t be bothered turning it into a tumblr text post so here u go ok to the people saying this goes for gerard: it doesn’t. put simply, people who say they prefer gerard back when he was suffering are (rightly) told off for it. that’s clearly not the case with mikey as that’s why i made this thread in the first place. not just that, but jokes about gerard’s current clothes/lifestyle are read as insults towards him, and people say they love bullets/revenge gerard’s aesthetic without comparing him to current gerard with a ‘what happened?’  like i say in the thread, it’s not the biggest deal, but not everything that applies to mikey has to apply to gerard as well oh i also feel i should say something i put in the tags of the original post - if you’ve made fun of current mikey for being a het or whatever i don’t mean that i think you want mikey to be miserable again, it’s just a post to say it’s overall a good thing mikey’s changed and that should be acknowledged a bit more!
Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Bad, Doctor, and Funny: "We all know you are faking being sick to avoid the class" Funny Popcorn This happened to me while i was in elementary school. Our mrs. math teacher really hated my guts for no reason really. She would always find an axcuse to lower my grades or blame me for something i didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid that had bad astma, dermatitis and was sickish in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had a lot to do with that, as she felt i had "special treatment and privileges" One day we were doing a test and i started feeling very bad. It came to the point of really needing to puke but i held it in because i knew she wouldn't believe me. Theni started shaking and kinda puked a bit in my mouth so i stood up and started to go towards the toilet (we had a rule that anybody who has to go to the toilet can do so without asking) She ofcourse stopped me and told me to sit back down. I tried explaining but she wouldn't have it. One girl stood up to me and said something like "he is really pale and shaking and sweating, i think he needs to go home". That caused the teacher to go on a 5 minute rant how i'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and now i'm trying to fool everybody and that i'm taking away their precious test time and they should hate me for that" I said i really need to puke and she just scoffed saying "You ain't going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puking here'". Yeah... You can guess what happened next. Not sure if this is compliance because i couldn't hold it in anymore anyway but i was so happy while doing it. First i puked a bit trough my arm and then it all went out. Across her desk (grading book was ruined) and all over the floor. She tried to blame me saying that i "threw up by force" but the principle didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to her but she never bothered me again. Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all over the classroom

Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all ov...

America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.