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A
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The
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Not
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But
But
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That
And
And
out
out 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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        Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling
 @SeitanSlut
 Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around
 hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child
 to go unaccompanied.
 Slate
 @Slate 7h
 SLATE
 Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before
 disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5
lazy-cat-corner:
giasesshoumaru:


This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child.
I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses.
—It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still
Dear Sit Still,
Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink.
A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong.
Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course.
I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip.
Mend your wicked ways.


And that’s the tea! 
It’s not complicated.
Your wine glass is on your right 
Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in
Watch your damn kids
And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!! 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling
 @SeitanSlut
 Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around
 hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child
 to go unaccompanied.
 Slate
 @Slate 7h
 SLATE
 Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before
 disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5
lazy-cat-corner:
giasesshoumaru:


This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child.
I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses.
—It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still
Dear Sit Still,
Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink.
A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong.
Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course.
I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip.
Mend your wicked ways.


And that’s the tea! 
It’s not complicated.
Your wine glass is on your right 
Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in
Watch your damn kids
And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!! 

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Be Like, Children, and Definitely: 48%
 6:32
 4G
 Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 8:45 pm
 Ok ok. Valid point about the nudes but
 think about this...
 As you said 84 years later the movie
 titanic was made, it pulled an amazing
 $2.187 billion in the box office, won
 11 Oscars and was the real birth of
 the great actor, Leonardo DiCaprio.
 A movie like that is remembered, not
 for the nudes but the love story that
 these nudes helped blossem into the
 romance of the century, envied by
 many. Not only could these nudes be
 the start of your own great romance
 but think about the royalties your own
 film could bring in another 84 years...
 Catherine, 24
 Yes yes I hear you "but I won't be
 around for the royalties in 84 years" but
 Catherine.... Your children will reap the
 Australian Catholic University
 11 km away
 benefits for years, so Catherine dont do
 it for me, don't do it for you... But do it
 for our children!
 Why won't I send you nudes?
 Let me remind you of this little movie called
 Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 11:46 pm
 Titanic... a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn
 in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one
 This is far and away the best opener
 has ever heard of...
 have ever heard in my 23 years on this
 Locks the drawing in a safe in a boat and THAT
 BOAT SINKS. And somehow 84 years later, the
 planet, I read it to my mum. Not even
 kidding. And she briefly discussed
 with me the idea of sending you a
 nude still ends up on television.
 No one is safe.
 nude purely for the comedic value of
 this message!
 What would it be like to date me? Ever ordered
 You've just clocked tinder, well done
 10 nuggets and gotten 11 70O
 sir
 And the thought of setting our children
 up for life, now that's definitely
 tempting :p
 E42
Do it for the kids!!
        

            
            

                
                
                    Be Like, Children, and Definitely: 48%
 6:32
 4G
 Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 8:45 pm
 Ok ok. Valid point about the nudes but
 think about this...
 As you said 84 years later the movie
 titanic was made, it pulled an amazing
 $2.187 billion in the box office, won
 11 Oscars and was the real birth of
 the great actor, Leonardo DiCaprio.
 A movie like that is remembered, not
 for the nudes but the love story that
 these nudes helped blossem into the
 romance of the century, envied by
 many. Not only could these nudes be
 the start of your own great romance
 but think about the royalties your own
 film could bring in another 84 years...
 Catherine, 24
 Yes yes I hear you "but I won't be
 around for the royalties in 84 years" but
 Catherine.... Your children will reap the
 Australian Catholic University
 11 km away
 benefits for years, so Catherine dont do
 it for me, don't do it for you... But do it
 for our children!
 Why won't I send you nudes?
 Let me remind you of this little movie called
 Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 11:46 pm
 Titanic... a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn
 in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one
 This is far and away the best opener
 has ever heard of...
 have ever heard in my 23 years on this
 Locks the drawing in a safe in a boat and THAT
 BOAT SINKS. And somehow 84 years later, the
 planet, I read it to my mum. Not even
 kidding. And she briefly discussed
 with me the idea of sending you a
 nude still ends up on television.
 No one is safe.
 nude purely for the comedic value of
 this message!
 What would it be like to date me? Ever ordered
 You've just clocked tinder, well done
 10 nuggets and gotten 11 70O
 sir
 And the thought of setting our children
 up for life, now that's definitely
 tempting :p
 E42
Do it for the kids!!
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Do it for the kids!!

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Batman,  Fantastic Four, and Fucking: Colin Mochrie
 @colinmochrie
 Follow
 Why the shock that a woman can direct a
 great superhero film. After Fantastic Four,
 Steel, Batman vs Superman etc, it's shocking
 a man can
 RETWEETS LIKES
 697
 1,946
 6:58 AM - 4 Jun 2017 from Brampton, Ontario
 21 697
hellenhighwater:

murdockmoogle:

optimysticals:

biteypyrotiger:

systlin:

love-order-chaos-repeat:
Damn he came for their lives 😂
Holy shit I just witnessed Colin murder the entire movie industry. 

I just saw a new episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway? in which other cast members made a transphobic joke where the punchline was “that woman has a penis.” Colin, who has a trans daughter, stood there and just repeatedly said “Really?” Until they apologized and redid their joke. Very small thing, but I appreciate the man.

Colin is sunshine.

And to think, I didn’t believe Colin Mochrie could earn more respect from me.
You have to understand. Improv comedy has rules you follow. And rule number one, the Golden Rule: NEVER CONTRADICT. You never take what someone suggests and say “no, not that, this instead!” You never reply to a joke with “No, I don’t want to do that!” You roll with it. You ALWAYS roll with it. The ridiculousness added on top of ridiculousness peaks into a primo superdense ball of hilarity incarnate.
And his reply to something offensive was “Nope. Stop the bit. Nope. Nope. Nope. You fucked up.”
I’ll bet you money Wayne Brady would do the same if a white person on the show dropped an N-Bomb, and people would be understanding. Colin stood up for an oft-maligned group, whose members include one very personal to him, and completely ground that show to a grinding halt by saying “No. That’s not fucking funny.” and ruined the joke. This is a man who builds his entire career off of making jokes, and he /ruined another’s/.
I’m sorry, Colin isn’t just a god amongst improv comics. He’s not just funny as all get-out and witty as hell. He’s a stone-cold badass, and he deserves recognition.
Props, Mr. Mochrie. You, sir, are deserving of respect.

I’ve worked with him (just briefly) and can confirm: he is just as excellent in real life as he seems here. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Batman,  Fantastic Four, and Fucking: Colin Mochrie
 @colinmochrie
 Follow
 Why the shock that a woman can direct a
 great superhero film. After Fantastic Four,
 Steel, Batman vs Superman etc, it's shocking
 a man can
 RETWEETS LIKES
 697
 1,946
 6:58 AM - 4 Jun 2017 from Brampton, Ontario
 21 697
hellenhighwater:

murdockmoogle:

optimysticals:

biteypyrotiger:

systlin:

love-order-chaos-repeat:
Damn he came for their lives 😂
Holy shit I just witnessed Colin murder the entire movie industry. 

I just saw a new episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway? in which other cast members made a transphobic joke where the punchline was “that woman has a penis.” Colin, who has a trans daughter, stood there and just repeatedly said “Really?” Until they apologized and redid their joke. Very small thing, but I appreciate the man.

Colin is sunshine.

And to think, I didn’t believe Colin Mochrie could earn more respect from me.
You have to understand. Improv comedy has rules you follow. And rule number one, the Golden Rule: NEVER CONTRADICT. You never take what someone suggests and say “no, not that, this instead!” You never reply to a joke with “No, I don’t want to do that!” You roll with it. You ALWAYS roll with it. The ridiculousness added on top of ridiculousness peaks into a primo superdense ball of hilarity incarnate.
And his reply to something offensive was “Nope. Stop the bit. Nope. Nope. Nope. You fucked up.”
I’ll bet you money Wayne Brady would do the same if a white person on the show dropped an N-Bomb, and people would be understanding. Colin stood up for an oft-maligned group, whose members include one very personal to him, and completely ground that show to a grinding halt by saying “No. That’s not fucking funny.” and ruined the joke. This is a man who builds his entire career off of making jokes, and he /ruined another’s/.
I’m sorry, Colin isn’t just a god amongst improv comics. He’s not just funny as all get-out and witty as hell. He’s a stone-cold badass, and he deserves recognition.
Props, Mr. Mochrie. You, sir, are deserving of respect.

I’ve worked with him (just briefly) and can confirm: he is just as excellent in real life as he seems here. 

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Bitch, God, and Hello: olene33rpm
 me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that's enough vowels
 the french language: youe fooule.... youe insouelente cowèurde
 nazerine
 love japanese bc it's so regular and logical. eg
 kore this, sore that, dore which
 koko here, soko there, doko where
 koitsu this person, soitsu that person, doitsu germany
 Source: categorical-abstract-ml
 futureevilscientist
 confession: in the Russian alphabet, the letter x is pronounced like a hard h so
 whenever I see a phrase like "Sorry for your loss xoxo", instead of hugs and
 kisses my brain always briefly interprets it as "Sorry for your loss HOHOHO" like
 some jolly Santa Schadenfreude laughter there
 assassinregrets
 im just
 the cherokee language has a verb tense that specifically notes the exclusion ofa
 person in the conversation
 so there's i'm going, you're going, we're going, and we're going (but not you)
 i love it
 madmaudlingoes
 This is called "clusivity" and it's found a bunch of languages, including Chechen,
 Vietnamese, Samoan, and Quechua
 spinningyarns
 Some languages just side-eye harder than others
 Source: assassinregrets
 lord-kitschener
 Polish: yo dawg we heard u like the letter z so we put some z's in ur z's so u can
 Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
 relativelylessimportant
 Z is only worth one point in the Polish version of Scrabble. This sounds like a
 joke, but is actually true
 Source: lord-kitschener
 heatmor
 irish is such a shady language because hello is "dia duit" but directly translated it
 means "god be with you" and when someone says hello back they say "dia is
 muire duit" which means "god and mary be with you" its like "i see your god
 and i raise you the holy virgin whatcha gonna do bout it bitch
 Source: cradily
 Mark Magumpkin
 Follow
 Spanish: The h is silent
 English: Many letters can be silent
 French: All letters are meaningless, every living
 thing is born without reason
 paddysnuffles
 tumblr: on languages
Tumblr on languages
        

            
            

                
                
                    Bitch, God, and Hello: olene33rpm
 me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that's enough vowels
 the french language: youe fooule.... youe insouelente cowèurde
 nazerine
 love japanese bc it's so regular and logical. eg
 kore this, sore that, dore which
 koko here, soko there, doko where
 koitsu this person, soitsu that person, doitsu germany
 Source: categorical-abstract-ml
 futureevilscientist
 confession: in the Russian alphabet, the letter x is pronounced like a hard h so
 whenever I see a phrase like "Sorry for your loss xoxo", instead of hugs and
 kisses my brain always briefly interprets it as "Sorry for your loss HOHOHO" like
 some jolly Santa Schadenfreude laughter there
 assassinregrets
 im just
 the cherokee language has a verb tense that specifically notes the exclusion ofa
 person in the conversation
 so there's i'm going, you're going, we're going, and we're going (but not you)
 i love it
 madmaudlingoes
 This is called "clusivity" and it's found a bunch of languages, including Chechen,
 Vietnamese, Samoan, and Quechua
 spinningyarns
 Some languages just side-eye harder than others
 Source: assassinregrets
 lord-kitschener
 Polish: yo dawg we heard u like the letter z so we put some z's in ur z's so u can
 Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
 relativelylessimportant
 Z is only worth one point in the Polish version of Scrabble. This sounds like a
 joke, but is actually true
 Source: lord-kitschener
 heatmor
 irish is such a shady language because hello is "dia duit" but directly translated it
 means "god be with you" and when someone says hello back they say "dia is
 muire duit" which means "god and mary be with you" its like "i see your god
 and i raise you the holy virgin whatcha gonna do bout it bitch
 Source: cradily
 Mark Magumpkin
 Follow
 Spanish: The h is silent
 English: Many letters can be silent
 French: All letters are meaningless, every living
 thing is born without reason
 paddysnuffles
 tumblr: on languages
Tumblr on languages
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Computers, Pressure, and School: arionwind:
 autismserenity:
 arionwind:
 autismserenity:
 ARE computers flammable? 1 feel like they're probably not?
 This depends entirely on how much uncooked rice you have
 shoved in the floppy drive
 Ok 1 feel like there's a story behind this
 There is, yes!
 After I quit school, I worked briefly as a computer repair tech. Going to
 people's houses or businesses, fixing their various bugs, etc. While I
 would rapidly decide that field was not for me because of the one
 businessman who needed mult
 know, you push that button and that plastic holder thing with the hole
 comes out 1 think it is technically call the "Cup Depository Tray
 CD, right?), he is not the most memorable encounter. No, that goes to
 one of the nicest ladies I ever encountered on this job
 iple
 cup holde
 eplacements (you
 She called us out because her computer had stopped turning on, and
 wouldn't even make a noise when she tried to push the button. One
 day it had just shut off while she was using it and stubbornly refused to
 come back on, and could we please see what we could do to fix it?
 So I go out there expecting some wire had gotten loose and there was
 no power getting to the machine or something. It happens sometimes
 if a machine gets banged around enough, or if someone fiddles with it
 wrong or is careless putting it together, computers are finicky like that
 But as soon as I get to the box itself, 1 know it isn't that simple, because
 of the smell. I have smelled computers with dust all up in them, that isn't
 uncommon, but this is just vile and, more importantly, entirely new.
 I am now more curious than afraid, so 1 open it up and there is a mass
 of goopy off-white mush spilling all over everything, parts of it are
 burnt to circuits, there is almost nothing untouched by the mass. But
 by far the worst off is the A drive. That is the obvious source of the
 problem, and the thing has not "exploded", but more burst from the
 pressure of whatever this stuff was
 So 1 ask the woman if she had used the floppy drive recently and
 noticed any problems, and she says no, not until the whole machine
 stopped working. But I come to find out what she used it for
 Turns out this woman was a devout Shinto practitioner and believed
 that her computer (among other things) had a soul that needed to be
 respected an honored. Which, fair enough. But she chose to honor it
 by feeding it a grain of rice every time
 she had to wake it up and disturb
 For years this kindhearted woman had been putting a grain of
 rice into the A driv
 from sleep mode. And eventually that was enough pressure to break the
 drive and start spilling out onto the internal bits, where the heat melted
 it all and caused no end of problems
 ime she turned it on or woke t
 iing u
 After that it was a simple enough thing to explain that there are better
 ways to honor and take care of your computer's needs, what with virus
 scans or defrags and the like, but
 t poor device was entirely lost.
 I guess the moral of the story here is that you can try your best to be
 good and still wind up hurting people? Maybe? Or else it's that even
 the most horrible out of context problem isn't nearly as frustrating as
 one middle aged jerk who won't freaking listen when you tell him that
 CD trays are not for your dang coffee cups!
 The end
A tale from tech support
        

            
            

                
                
                    Computers, Pressure, and School: arionwind:
 autismserenity:
 arionwind:
 autismserenity:
 ARE computers flammable? 1 feel like they're probably not?
 This depends entirely on how much uncooked rice you have
 shoved in the floppy drive
 Ok 1 feel like there's a story behind this
 There is, yes!
 After I quit school, I worked briefly as a computer repair tech. Going to
 people's houses or businesses, fixing their various bugs, etc. While I
 would rapidly decide that field was not for me because of the one
 businessman who needed mult
 know, you push that button and that plastic holder thing with the hole
 comes out 1 think it is technically call the "Cup Depository Tray
 CD, right?), he is not the most memorable encounter. No, that goes to
 one of the nicest ladies I ever encountered on this job
 iple
 cup holde
 eplacements (you
 She called us out because her computer had stopped turning on, and
 wouldn't even make a noise when she tried to push the button. One
 day it had just shut off while she was using it and stubbornly refused to
 come back on, and could we please see what we could do to fix it?
 So I go out there expecting some wire had gotten loose and there was
 no power getting to the machine or something. It happens sometimes
 if a machine gets banged around enough, or if someone fiddles with it
 wrong or is careless putting it together, computers are finicky like that
 But as soon as I get to the box itself, 1 know it isn't that simple, because
 of the smell. I have smelled computers with dust all up in them, that isn't
 uncommon, but this is just vile and, more importantly, entirely new.
 I am now more curious than afraid, so 1 open it up and there is a mass
 of goopy off-white mush spilling all over everything, parts of it are
 burnt to circuits, there is almost nothing untouched by the mass. But
 by far the worst off is the A drive. That is the obvious source of the
 problem, and the thing has not "exploded", but more burst from the
 pressure of whatever this stuff was
 So 1 ask the woman if she had used the floppy drive recently and
 noticed any problems, and she says no, not until the whole machine
 stopped working. But I come to find out what she used it for
 Turns out this woman was a devout Shinto practitioner and believed
 that her computer (among other things) had a soul that needed to be
 respected an honored. Which, fair enough. But she chose to honor it
 by feeding it a grain of rice every time
 she had to wake it up and disturb
 For years this kindhearted woman had been putting a grain of
 rice into the A driv
 from sleep mode. And eventually that was enough pressure to break the
 drive and start spilling out onto the internal bits, where the heat melted
 it all and caused no end of problems
 ime she turned it on or woke t
 iing u
 After that it was a simple enough thing to explain that there are better
 ways to honor and take care of your computer's needs, what with virus
 scans or defrags and the like, but
 t poor device was entirely lost.
 I guess the moral of the story here is that you can try your best to be
 good and still wind up hurting people? Maybe? Or else it's that even
 the most horrible out of context problem isn't nearly as frustrating as
 one middle aged jerk who won't freaking listen when you tell him that
 CD trays are not for your dang coffee cups!
 The end
A tale from tech support
                    
                
            

            
                
                
A tale from tech support

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Children, Driving, and Family: gaymilesedgeworth
 my family is so. fucking weird and resistant to talking about anything. when i was
 a small child i asked my mother why she had a lot of gifts and things where
 people called her by another name and she like. didn't give me a straight
 answer? it was her Hebrew name. like that's literally it. that's all u had to say
 gaymilesedgeworth
 great-great-grandma cohen refused to tell her younger children that they were
 related to her two eldest children
 gaymilesedgeworth
 my family didn't tell me about part of my actual name until i sent away for my
 social security info to get my driver's permit in my junior year of high school. i
 have an entire middle name that no one ever felt the need to mention to mee
 gaymilesedgeworth
 i had to google my own brother to find out why we don't talk about him anymore
 gaymilesedgeworth
 one morning in seventh grade my mother was driving me to school and asked
 me if she was too overprotective. i told her yeah, sometimes." then she
 casually, calmly went, "maybe it's because you were almost kidnapped as a
 baby"
 she didn't even elaborate until i asked her to explain
 (my father later confirmed that i was, in fact, briefly stolen as an infant)
 my mom just dropped this information on me for the first time and was then
 like "bye honey have a good day at schoor
 gaymilesedgeworth
 no one knows great-grandma ruth's real last name
 ziraseal
 this is some Lemony Snicket shit right here
 Source: gaymilesedge..
 151,040 notes
Okay but I wanna know why they dont talk about the brother anymore
        

            
            

                
                
                    Children, Driving, and Family: gaymilesedgeworth
 my family is so. fucking weird and resistant to talking about anything. when i was
 a small child i asked my mother why she had a lot of gifts and things where
 people called her by another name and she like. didn't give me a straight
 answer? it was her Hebrew name. like that's literally it. that's all u had to say
 gaymilesedgeworth
 great-great-grandma cohen refused to tell her younger children that they were
 related to her two eldest children
 gaymilesedgeworth
 my family didn't tell me about part of my actual name until i sent away for my
 social security info to get my driver's permit in my junior year of high school. i
 have an entire middle name that no one ever felt the need to mention to mee
 gaymilesedgeworth
 i had to google my own brother to find out why we don't talk about him anymore
 gaymilesedgeworth
 one morning in seventh grade my mother was driving me to school and asked
 me if she was too overprotective. i told her yeah, sometimes." then she
 casually, calmly went, "maybe it's because you were almost kidnapped as a
 baby"
 she didn't even elaborate until i asked her to explain
 (my father later confirmed that i was, in fact, briefly stolen as an infant)
 my mom just dropped this information on me for the first time and was then
 like "bye honey have a good day at schoor
 gaymilesedgeworth
 no one knows great-grandma ruth's real last name
 ziraseal
 this is some Lemony Snicket shit right here
 Source: gaymilesedge..
 151,040 notes
Okay but I wanna know why they dont talk about the brother anymore
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Bitch, God, and Hello: insomniac-arrest
 jolene33rpm
 me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that's enough vowels
 the french language: youe fooule.... youe insouelente coweurde
 nazerine
 I love japanese bc it's so regular and logical. eg,
 kore this, sore that, dore which
 koko here, soko there, doko where
 koitsu this person, soitsu that person, doitsu germany
 futureevilscientist
 confession: in the Russian alphabet, the letter x is pronounced like a hard h so
 whenever l see a phrase like "Sorry for your loss xoxo, instead of hugs and
 kisses my brain always briefly interprets it as "Sorry for your loss HOHOHO like
 some jolly Santa Schadenfreude laughter there
 Source: futureevilscientist
 assassinregrets
 im just
 the cherokee language has a verb tense that specifically notes the exclusion of a
 person in the
 so there's i'm going, you're going, we're going, and we're going (but not you)
 i love it
 conversation
 madmaudlingoes
 This is called "clusivity and it's found a bunch of languages, including Chechen,
 Vietnamese, Samoan, and Quechua.
 spinningyarns
 Some languages just side-eye harder than others.
 Source: assassinregrets
 lord-kitschener
 Polish: yo dawg we heard u like the letter z so we put some z's in ur z's so u can
 Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
 relativelylessimportant
 Z is only worth one point in the Polish version of Scrabble. This sounds like a
 joke, but is actually true
 heatmor
 irish is such a shady language because hello is "dia duit but directly translated it
 means "god be with you" and when someone says hello back they say "dia is
 muire duit" which means "god and mary be with you . its like i see your god
 and i raise you the holy virgin whatcha gonna do bout it bitch
 Source: cradily
 Mark Magumpkin
 Д. Follow
 Spanish: The h is silent
 English: Many letters can be silent
 French: All letters are meaningless, every living
 thing is born without reason
 paddysnuffles
 tumblr: on languages
Languages are fun
        

            
            

                
                
                    Bitch, God, and Hello: insomniac-arrest
 jolene33rpm
 me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that's enough vowels
 the french language: youe fooule.... youe insouelente coweurde
 nazerine
 I love japanese bc it's so regular and logical. eg,
 kore this, sore that, dore which
 koko here, soko there, doko where
 koitsu this person, soitsu that person, doitsu germany
 futureevilscientist
 confession: in the Russian alphabet, the letter x is pronounced like a hard h so
 whenever l see a phrase like "Sorry for your loss xoxo, instead of hugs and
 kisses my brain always briefly interprets it as "Sorry for your loss HOHOHO like
 some jolly Santa Schadenfreude laughter there
 Source: futureevilscientist
 assassinregrets
 im just
 the cherokee language has a verb tense that specifically notes the exclusion of a
 person in the
 so there's i'm going, you're going, we're going, and we're going (but not you)
 i love it
 conversation
 madmaudlingoes
 This is called "clusivity and it's found a bunch of languages, including Chechen,
 Vietnamese, Samoan, and Quechua.
 spinningyarns
 Some languages just side-eye harder than others.
 Source: assassinregrets
 lord-kitschener
 Polish: yo dawg we heard u like the letter z so we put some z's in ur z's so u can
 Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
 relativelylessimportant
 Z is only worth one point in the Polish version of Scrabble. This sounds like a
 joke, but is actually true
 heatmor
 irish is such a shady language because hello is "dia duit but directly translated it
 means "god be with you" and when someone says hello back they say "dia is
 muire duit" which means "god and mary be with you . its like i see your god
 and i raise you the holy virgin whatcha gonna do bout it bitch
 Source: cradily
 Mark Magumpkin
 Д. Follow
 Spanish: The h is silent
 English: Many letters can be silent
 French: All letters are meaningless, every living
 thing is born without reason
 paddysnuffles
 tumblr: on languages
Languages are fun
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Club, Creepy, and Facebook: Follovw
 @codeinedrums
 Everyone, this is a photo of the "secret" two
 way mirror in the fe
 @ShimmyClub in Glasgow. Disgrace!
 pic.twitter.com/hg203x7K65
 male toilets of
 Reply RetweetFavoriteMore
zimpirate:
bigbigbigday006:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

void-the-sinner:

spoiledbabe:

hazelandglasz:

durnesque-esque:

thehippiejew:

extrafeisty:

jaycubs:


A Glasgow nightclub has installed a two-way mirror which allows male revellers in private booths to spy on unsuspecting women as they visit the toilet! With no notification or signage anywhere in the venue many female club goers have been left feeling embarrassed and used. Although they do briefly show the mirrors in a promo video, the club has been quickly deleting comments and posts on their social media from club goers trying to alert others to the situation. This is pretty much illegal and hugley violates privacy. Thank you The Shimmy Club for giving us a shiny, new, creative and cool take on objectification. article here

i’m never leaving my house again, this world is just too fucked up.

WHAT!?

gross gross gross gross gross

Good morning disgusting. Remember ladies:

 “No space, leave the place” (fingernail test)
A two way mirror must be set INTO the wall, not placed on top of it.
If you rap/knock against the mirror, one installed onto a wall (a normal mirror) will make a dull sound, because there’s something behind it. A two-way will have more reverberation.
Use the flashlight on your phone to shine on the mirror, if it’s a two-way, you’ll be able to see into the other room.
You can also shield your eyes and see in if you lean up against the glass.
The room being viewed will have to be brightly lit (10x brighter than the room looking in), so if you’re in a typical dimly lit club bathroom, you’re ok.

boosting the fuck out of this

They have this in Continental Midtown in Philly, it’s fucking creepy and not cool at all

the most obvious solution i can think of is to break that motherfucker. what are they going to do? sue you for breaking something they shouldnt have had?

That’s fucking disgusting.

Hey, fellas. You ever feel like you have to check if you’re standing in front of a two-way mirror? Women do.

This needs to be known

        

            
            

                
                
                    Club, Creepy, and Facebook: Follovw
 @codeinedrums
 Everyone, this is a photo of the "secret" two
 way mirror in the fe
 @ShimmyClub in Glasgow. Disgrace!
 pic.twitter.com/hg203x7K65
 male toilets of
 Reply RetweetFavoriteMore
zimpirate:
bigbigbigday006:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

void-the-sinner:

spoiledbabe:

hazelandglasz:

durnesque-esque:

thehippiejew:

extrafeisty:

jaycubs:


A Glasgow nightclub has installed a two-way mirror which allows male revellers in private booths to spy on unsuspecting women as they visit the toilet! With no notification or signage anywhere in the venue many female club goers have been left feeling embarrassed and used. Although they do briefly show the mirrors in a promo video, the club has been quickly deleting comments and posts on their social media from club goers trying to alert others to the situation. This is pretty much illegal and hugley violates privacy. Thank you The Shimmy Club for giving us a shiny, new, creative and cool take on objectification. article here

i’m never leaving my house again, this world is just too fucked up.

WHAT!?

gross gross gross gross gross

Good morning disgusting. Remember ladies:

 “No space, leave the place” (fingernail test)
A two way mirror must be set INTO the wall, not placed on top of it.
If you rap/knock against the mirror, one installed onto a wall (a normal mirror) will make a dull sound, because there’s something behind it. A two-way will have more reverberation.
Use the flashlight on your phone to shine on the mirror, if it’s a two-way, you’ll be able to see into the other room.
You can also shield your eyes and see in if you lean up against the glass.
The room being viewed will have to be brightly lit (10x brighter than the room looking in), so if you’re in a typical dimly lit club bathroom, you’re ok.

boosting the fuck out of this

They have this in Continental Midtown in Philly, it’s fucking creepy and not cool at all

the most obvious solution i can think of is to break that motherfucker. what are they going to do? sue you for breaking something they shouldnt have had?

That’s fucking disgusting.

Hey, fellas. You ever feel like you have to check if you’re standing in front of a two-way mirror? Women do.

This needs to be known

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Beautiful, College, and Cute: 6slut
 you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don't know what to do with
 yourself
 debrides
 i made a pretty girl laugh wla silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized
 Jaxxgarcia
 this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn't
 orm full sentences for a solid 10 minutes
 boobyguy
 at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo
 and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night
 priestessamy
 every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis
 bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella
 this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was
 teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul
 leave my body
 bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella
 one time a pretty girl called me "gorgeous" and I was so shocked and flustered
 that I literally cried right in front of her
 alectually
 today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept
 walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was
 heading and she said "oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you're going
 and we both blushed
 batmanisagatewaydrug
 at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week
 and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent
 sentences for at least ten minutes
 emiliusthegreat
 A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered
 that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my
 roommate was starting to get concerned
 bassflutes
 There's a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she's three chairs away
 from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at
 me and I forget how to read music
 amythical-llama
 This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul
 wheeloffortune-design
 Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that
 tripped and walked into a bus pole
 damaramegido
 honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran
 across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty
 that i died
 blackkatmagic
 Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages
 and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together
 She laughed at me, but that's okay, because she married me two years later)
 things-are-looking-up-oh-finally
 This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope yall stay pure
tumblr reacts to pretty girls
        

            
            

                
                
                    Beautiful, College, and Cute: 6slut
 you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don't know what to do with
 yourself
 debrides
 i made a pretty girl laugh wla silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized
 Jaxxgarcia
 this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn't
 orm full sentences for a solid 10 minutes
 boobyguy
 at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo
 and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night
 priestessamy
 every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis
 bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella
 this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was
 teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul
 leave my body
 bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella
 one time a pretty girl called me "gorgeous" and I was so shocked and flustered
 that I literally cried right in front of her
 alectually
 today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept
 walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was
 heading and she said "oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you're going
 and we both blushed
 batmanisagatewaydrug
 at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week
 and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent
 sentences for at least ten minutes
 emiliusthegreat
 A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered
 that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my
 roommate was starting to get concerned
 bassflutes
 There's a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she's three chairs away
 from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at
 me and I forget how to read music
 amythical-llama
 This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul
 wheeloffortune-design
 Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that
 tripped and walked into a bus pole
 damaramegido
 honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran
 across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty
 that i died
 blackkatmagic
 Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages
 and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together
 She laughed at me, but that's okay, because she married me two years later)
 things-are-looking-up-oh-finally
 This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope yall stay pure
tumblr reacts to pretty girls
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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