Taking
Taking

Taking

Broing
Broing

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The

The

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Sticker

Sticker

Here
Here

Here

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Flat

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sister
sister

sister

out
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out

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Anaconda, Dad, and Dating: My little brother loves playing in snow X's brother - "I think it's time you meet my parents." "Babe, we've been dating for 16 years. Don't you think we're going a little too fast?" "Don't be silly! We'll go later tonight." *that night* "I'm home!" *her parents come to the front door* "Maria? Who's your friend?" the mom says. "This is Terome, and he's my boyfriend!" "Your boyfriend? But he's black?" *buffering....* "Don't be silly dad. He's quite swell actually." *buffering 56% completed* "How about you join us for dinner, boy?" *buffering 99%* "Terome?" *buffering 100% completed* "Huh? Oh, sure why not." *joins them at the dinner table* "So, Terome was it?, what do you do for a living." "I uh, I post memes sir." "You what?" "He's a comedian, dad." "A comedian eh? Tell me a joke then." *buffering...* "Dad don't harass my boyfriend." "What? I just wanna see if he's worthy of dating my daughter." *buffering 100% completed* "Can I use the bathroom?" "Uh, sure. Its up the stairs and on your right." *leaves table* *goes upstairs* *closes and locks bathroom door* "I shouldn't have ate that CrunchWrap Supreme earlier..." *sits on toilet and intestines fall out* *not sure if I would survive* *does a Hail Mary* *nothing else comes out* *wipes front to back* *flushes toilet* *washes hands* *toilet begins to overflow to the brim* *panic* "Terome? Are you alright in there?" *panic x2* *toilet water spills onto the floor* "Yea, I'm fine. Something just didn't sit right." "Was it the food? I told Mom to stop putting anthrax in it when blacks came over." *buffering...* *shakes head* *toilet water reaches my shoes* *looks for an escape* *sees window* *wades through ankle deep toilet water* *opens window* *throws one leg out* *doesnt realize I'm on the second floor* *panic* "Terome? You sure your OK? I'm gonna unlock the door now." *jumps* *falls 40 feet ankles first* *hits the ground shatters every bone in my body* "Fuck you Taco Bell...* *dies* The End.
Memes, Poems, and Tube: my dad's been writing my mom a poem every valentine's day for 20 years and this year he took a line from every single one since 1997 20 Years 's7 we ala eutside into new land feel the warm or out faces rgs eurhebyen the Daneed-up head and the tube in her opened her mouth to cry but you had faith 'oo you in your cap gown i aprofessional healer of hearts&mindi body kwul votatryout for help, and who does poern Iir Daddy (whom uove too but not quite so dear I Asvou I Want my Mommyt toz etara Imsaname for a writ's also a thought that chanerd the world lorare finds eoodnewIin everything o4 And lever don't wer Iwwt inMedta see ITo help you itver again l Please try a mie harder to how me toska home flied to the brim with love, happav squesing Rttie and the intoxicating wnetsotanother gourmet dinner o6 His emotions well and he can't een kook the nurse practitioner in the eye. He stares down at his feet. No words come, but a few teando, o the fact that you have volunteered for this double duty ways a whole lot of wondertul things about you that beautiful thiny heart of your juit gota attie bit thinler tot less celebrate ithat God i wo good l and a doten yearn later stlilove you so much that ithurts 10 new rules at our house I don't leave the butter uncovered 1aralong tongue wiR lici itup 1a you make teayto remember that even breath of Audadeus gace vours and mine together, breathing the same air, speaking the name of God in unison Tour valentine from fate this year in a PET scan on February14"IAnd in a birarm ankle twist to our story, I wait for the result of my own Ran I Hapuy Valentine's Day tous "taiknew you don't want to be cancer art so don't be cancer Be incredible talth storygit. 'IS You thould talk to people dying of cancer, so youfgure out what to savto them in penon before you tryto write it invour book 16 has been a wild ride and a shower af blessings IFrom a sliding down the wall suirure to we are wooo A marriage like this please 👏🏼❤

A marriage like this please 👏🏼❤