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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/: texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/

texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJ...

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texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/: texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/

texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJ...

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heroineimages: marlene: when-in-doubt-sing: arbitraryimposition: thebutchriarchy: Medusa with the Head of Perseus, Luciano Garbati, 2008 I adore how she carries his head low, at her side, and not aloft in triumph. This is not a self-aggrandizing hero lauding her great deed. This is a woman who wanted to be left the fuck alone. Also look at her body. The double hips. The asymetrical boobs. She’s thin, but she’s realistic as hell. That’s a real woman. And the look in her eyes. Damn. I originally saw photos of Garbati’s Medusa a long time ago, but I specifically remember this post from earlier this year. Medusa was one of those pieces that really buried into my head and heart. Sounds silly, but just looking at it gives me strength. Today I was lucky enough to see it in person. She’s incredible. And, something that the original pictures don’t show— she’s HUGE! I love this even better now that we can see the baffled look on Perseus’s face. : heroineimages: marlene: when-in-doubt-sing: arbitraryimposition: thebutchriarchy: Medusa with the Head of Perseus, Luciano Garbati, 2008 I adore how she carries his head low, at her side, and not aloft in triumph. This is not a self-aggrandizing hero lauding her great deed. This is a woman who wanted to be left the fuck alone. Also look at her body. The double hips. The asymetrical boobs. She’s thin, but she’s realistic as hell. That’s a real woman. And the look in her eyes. Damn. I originally saw photos of Garbati’s Medusa a long time ago, but I specifically remember this post from earlier this year. Medusa was one of those pieces that really buried into my head and heart. Sounds silly, but just looking at it gives me strength. Today I was lucky enough to see it in person. She’s incredible. And, something that the original pictures don’t show— she’s HUGE! I love this even better now that we can see the baffled look on Perseus’s face.
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why-i-love-comics: Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore: Like I used to be." THIS WAS THE BEST THANKSGIVING EVER WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU STAY, HONEY I KINDA DON'T WANNA LEAVE BUT YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PERFORMANCE I'M SURE THE CIRCUS WILL BE BACK IN TOWN NEXT YEAR. WHEN IT IS, OUR HOME is YOUR HOME. ు PROMISE? OF COURSE, I DO, SWEETIE I'M AFRAID NOT, RICHARD. IT WAS OUR DAUGHTER'S FAVORITE VExy FuOLY OMe SHE'S WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN SHE CAN PASS IT ON TO SOMEONE SPECIAL THE BOOK WAS GREAT. CAN I КЕЁР IT? "КАУ. ViExY FROAL T've been thinking about them a lot, Dr. Haas. My parents were killed before we got to go back "They're long dead now I'm sure, but I wish I'd seen them again. "They were kind and decent. Even more important, they were family." WELL DONE IT MAУ TАKE YEARS, BUT WE ARE PERFECTLY POSITIONED FOR THE DAY... .WHEN RICHARD GRAYSON 1S OURS. "WAYNE WILL NEVER LET GO OF YOU IF YOU STAY IN GOTHAM. YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? MY ONLY GOAL IS YOUR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. PUT ASIDE THE IDEA OF RECOVERINGA LIFE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER... THERE'S LITTLE TO KEEP YOU HERE AND YOUR FRUSTRATION IS OBVIOUS. ...AND FOCUS ON BUILDINGA NEW LIFE. SO, WHY NOT START IN A PLACE THAT DOES MEAN SOMETHING? SOMEPLACE LIKE... МАУВЕ THIS WILL HELP YOU CONNECT WITH HAPPIER TIMES. ...BLÜDHAVEN IS THAT--P! I ALSO HAD IT AS A CHILD. KVERY FAADIY OWL WOW THANK YOU! THE IT'S JUST LIKE I REMEMBER IT! BUT, uh... DON'T YOU THINK I'M A LITTLE OLD FOR IT? NO ONE IS EVER TOO OLD TO LET THE BEST MOMENTS OF THEIR CHILDHOOD BE THEIR GUIDE. YOU CAN THANK ME BY CREATING A VIBRANT NEW LIFE FOR YOURSELF IF I KNOW WAYNE, HE HAS CONTACTS ON STAFF GOODBYE, RICHARD. I'LL BE IN TOUCH YOU WERE LISTENING? IT'LL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO DISAPPEAR IF YOU DON'T SIGN OUT. I OWE YOU MORE THAN I CAN EVER REPAY, DR. HAAS THANK YOU. OF COURSE YOUR DRUG REGIMEN AND PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION BURIED GRAYSON'S MEMORY AND LEFT HIM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT HIM WELL DONE, DOCTOR. THERE'S MORE TO BE DONE, OF COURSE BUT THE DICK GRAYSON OF THE PAST... IS GONE FOREVER. "HE'S RICHARD GRAYSON NOW, A FRESH LUMP OF CLAY, WAITING TO BE MOLDED INTO WHATEVER WE WANT "NOTIFY СОВВ. Blüdhaven 45 mi LET HIM KNOW THAT THE TIME TO MOVE IS ALMOST HERE... ..AND THAT HIS GREAT- GRANDSON WILL SOON BE HIS." why-i-love-comics: Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore
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sartorialadventure: captainoftheseaqueen: xcgirl08: shoujofeels: becausetheinternet: A 2500 year old mummy that had some amazing tattoos. WHAT. NO FUCKING WAY. YO HOLD ON.  IT GETS BETTER. This mummy, found in the  Altai mountains of Siberia, is actually that of a young woman who died at about the age of twenty-five; she is thought to have been a member of the Pazyryk tribe. She was buried with six horses and two similarly-tattooed men (the horned griffon that decorates her shoulder also appears on the man buried closest to her, covering most of his right side), possibly escorts. She was also wearing a horse-hair wig, silk, and elaborate boots, which is all a level of ceremony that would have likely only been accorded to a woman of high rank. You didn’t get inked like this unless you were very important, and had worked your way up to that importance.  …Hence, of course, the references to her by researchers as ‘The Ukok Princess,’ although due to the lack of weapons in her grave they have concluded that the woman was in fact a healer or a storyteller.   And now I’m all consumed with curiosity: Who was she? What amazing things did she accomplish? Why these symbols, and what did they mean? Who were the two men alongside her? The most informative article about it can be found here, although I would completely eat up any other information you guys could find.  @blackbearmagic Makes me think of the 5,000-year-old Persian woman they found who was 6 feet tall and had a golden prosthetic eye. : sartorialadventure: captainoftheseaqueen: xcgirl08: shoujofeels: becausetheinternet: A 2500 year old mummy that had some amazing tattoos. WHAT. NO FUCKING WAY. YO HOLD ON.  IT GETS BETTER. This mummy, found in the  Altai mountains of Siberia, is actually that of a young woman who died at about the age of twenty-five; she is thought to have been a member of the Pazyryk tribe. She was buried with six horses and two similarly-tattooed men (the horned griffon that decorates her shoulder also appears on the man buried closest to her, covering most of his right side), possibly escorts. She was also wearing a horse-hair wig, silk, and elaborate boots, which is all a level of ceremony that would have likely only been accorded to a woman of high rank. You didn’t get inked like this unless you were very important, and had worked your way up to that importance.  …Hence, of course, the references to her by researchers as ‘The Ukok Princess,’ although due to the lack of weapons in her grave they have concluded that the woman was in fact a healer or a storyteller.   And now I’m all consumed with curiosity: Who was she? What amazing things did she accomplish? Why these symbols, and what did they mean? Who were the two men alongside her? The most informative article about it can be found here, although I would completely eat up any other information you guys could find.  @blackbearmagic Makes me think of the 5,000-year-old Persian woman they found who was 6 feet tall and had a golden prosthetic eye.
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Best description of sugar scrub ever.: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
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