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Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think Differently. This Guy Nails It. Women are much more complicated than men. Men are very simple. And you know why? It's because their brains are so different. First, I want to start with men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women don't realize that whether we are having sex or watching sports, our brains are made up of little boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a box for the car. We've got a box for the money We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for your mother somewhere in the basement. We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away being very, very careful not to touch other boxes. Now women's brains are very, very different from men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big ball of wire. And everything is connected to everything. The money is connected to the car and the car is connected to your job and your kids are connected to your mother and everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to remember...everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion and it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about everything. And she just loves it. Now men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can do something seemingly completely brain dead for hours on end. You know, like fishing. Now they've actually measured this. The University of Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing, and still breathe. Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to watch a man doing nothing. laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7 DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE AWARENESS THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL THAN ANY OTHER ACID! youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: dihydrogenmonoxideawareness: Why would anyone want to consume it!? I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth. We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products. My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media. Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. I. Fucking. Love. This. This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works. may our education be stronger than fake news Amen. To those who don’t get it: “Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O. another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work yup.  that’s a higher number alright. “Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”
Books, Energy, and Music: This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and l create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes when l am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals-sounds that say listen to this, it is important So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't just write words. Write music. Gary Provost sol1056: scripturient-manipulator: bookmania: Seven years after, I see you again 😚 Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I often do an entire draft just looking at sentence variation and oftentimes the results are absolutely transformative in the difference. If I were to list everything from Gary Provost that changed my writing, I’d just be quoting all his books back at you. If you can find a copy of Make Every Word Count, get it, read it. None of this navel-gazing about creativity; he gets into the weeds of how to use words to create stories. Brilliant stuff.

sol1056: scripturient-manipulator: bookmania: Seven years after, I see you again 😚 Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I ...

Ass, Fucking, and Nasty: 7:54 AM Q Searclh This is what happened to Gunner's leg after trying the parents choice pull ups. His pediatrician did confirm that he has a chemical burn. Please don't buy these pull ups!!! Every one please share thus post so that parents can be warned 9 2. Share News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More trebled-negrita-princess: r-the-kawaii: rosexxxblack: wanderingobsidian: These are giving babies chemical burns!!! Please reblog and spread the news to not buy Parent Choice diapers due to them having harsh chemicals that harm cause terrible burns to little ones like this. So I’ve used the Parent’s Choice brand wipes and diapers on my son before, they literally melted his skin off. After about 2 minutes after contact, his skin turned red hot and started blistering. We were able to get an emergency visit with his pediatrician, but he still has scars where the wipes and diapers burned him over 2 years later. This brand is AWFUL. How it’s still on the market? I have no fucking clue, but do not EVER EVER EVER gift these to someone with a newborn or small infant. The wipes actually have alcohol in them (I tried using the leftover wipes on my own ass and ended up with a nasty rash). Err on the side of caution and go with a smaller pack of pampers or huggies, or even get a cheap starter set of cloth diapers (ToysRUs sells a small econo pack for $15), but DO NOT use these diapers. There’s no worse feeling than seeing those scars and knowing you inadvertently caused them by making a careless purchase. BOOST TO BABY HAVING FOLLOWERS WTF!!!! O_O
Triangle, March, and Inside: Workers at the triangle shirtwaist factory trapped inside the building by the owner as it burns (March 25th, 1911)

Workers at the triangle shirtwaist factory trapped inside the building by the owner as it burns (March 25th, 1911)