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lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read. : lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read.
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lowoncliches: note-a-bear: My mom sent this to me and i’m howling White woman: Hi fellow white people. Are you having a sad because that family is enjoying a picnic in the park while being black? Did that customer in front of you just speak a language that makes you irrationally angry? Well this is a great time to try *holds up bottle* Mind Your Own Fucking Business. With Mind Your Own Fucking Business you’ll be able to grow the fuck up and act like a decent fucking human being. Our patented technology allows you to pull your head out of your ass and see the world beyond the brim of your MAGA hat. White man: Hi honey, I saw some black people at the Starbucks today. Woman: Did you mind your own fucking business? Man: I sure fucking did. *both laughing* Woman: Stop bothering those nice people today with Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Man: Side effects may include not harassing people, no one getting arrested or murdered by police, a general sense of well-being for people of color, a lack of Internet fame and or trolling, and coexistence. Please consult a doctor if you are still a piece of shit after Minding Your Own Fucking Business as the symptoms may be result of a deeper problem and require further treatment. Woman: Now available at Anthropology in Whole Foods. [Censoring beeps removed for better readability.] : lowoncliches: note-a-bear: My mom sent this to me and i’m howling White woman: Hi fellow white people. Are you having a sad because that family is enjoying a picnic in the park while being black? Did that customer in front of you just speak a language that makes you irrationally angry? Well this is a great time to try *holds up bottle* Mind Your Own Fucking Business. With Mind Your Own Fucking Business you’ll be able to grow the fuck up and act like a decent fucking human being. Our patented technology allows you to pull your head out of your ass and see the world beyond the brim of your MAGA hat. White man: Hi honey, I saw some black people at the Starbucks today. Woman: Did you mind your own fucking business? Man: I sure fucking did. *both laughing* Woman: Stop bothering those nice people today with Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Man: Side effects may include not harassing people, no one getting arrested or murdered by police, a general sense of well-being for people of color, a lack of Internet fame and or trolling, and coexistence. Please consult a doctor if you are still a piece of shit after Minding Your Own Fucking Business as the symptoms may be result of a deeper problem and require further treatment. Woman: Now available at Anthropology in Whole Foods. [Censoring beeps removed for better readability.]
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aliminalplace: amazing-jase: prisonofteeth: Okay, but Marvin Heemeyer didn’t destroy his town. He specifically targeted buildings owned by corrupt politicians in his hometown, who over the course of nearly a decade, made it impossible for him to operate his muffler shop. Through a zoning dispute and some shady deals, the town trustees had placed a concrete plant directly in the plot of land he used to access his muffler shop, and then fined him for having "junk cars on the property and not being hooked up to the sewer line"“On June 4, 2004, Heemeyer drove his armored bulldozer through the wall of his former business, the concrete plant, the Town Hall, the office of the local newspaper that editorialized against him, the home of a former judge’s widow, and a hardware store owned by another man Heemeyer named in a lawsuit, as well as a few others. Owners of all of the buildings that were damaged had some connection to Heemeyer’s disputes”Marvin didn’t hurt anyone in his rampage. Witnesses recount how he went out of his way to make sure that no one was hurt. The only casualty was after he took his own life with a single gunshot after his bulldozer came to a halt.His story is a story of protest and revenge against a corrupt system that took advantage of him, prevented him from running his business, and wore him down until the bitter end. Marvin Heemeyer is a fucking hero. “Helpless Police” is such a healing phrase Off topic for this blog but Marvin Heemeyer is an American hero. Are you really gonna skip his awesome as fuck nickname?The KilldozerSounds like a great 90s horror movie: aliminalplace: amazing-jase: prisonofteeth: Okay, but Marvin Heemeyer didn’t destroy his town. He specifically targeted buildings owned by corrupt politicians in his hometown, who over the course of nearly a decade, made it impossible for him to operate his muffler shop. Through a zoning dispute and some shady deals, the town trustees had placed a concrete plant directly in the plot of land he used to access his muffler shop, and then fined him for having "junk cars on the property and not being hooked up to the sewer line"“On June 4, 2004, Heemeyer drove his armored bulldozer through the wall of his former business, the concrete plant, the Town Hall, the office of the local newspaper that editorialized against him, the home of a former judge’s widow, and a hardware store owned by another man Heemeyer named in a lawsuit, as well as a few others. Owners of all of the buildings that were damaged had some connection to Heemeyer’s disputes”Marvin didn’t hurt anyone in his rampage. Witnesses recount how he went out of his way to make sure that no one was hurt. The only casualty was after he took his own life with a single gunshot after his bulldozer came to a halt.His story is a story of protest and revenge against a corrupt system that took advantage of him, prevented him from running his business, and wore him down until the bitter end. Marvin Heemeyer is a fucking hero. “Helpless Police” is such a healing phrase Off topic for this blog but Marvin Heemeyer is an American hero. Are you really gonna skip his awesome as fuck nickname?The KilldozerSounds like a great 90s horror movie
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bisexualnoodle5: airyairyaucontraire: yay855: residentevil-fandomhazard: princesstigerbelle: I love how he kisses the kitten towards the end All kittens are born feral, but you can see the exact moment ahead realized how good kisses are 💜💜💜 Mother cats will often groom their babies to calm them down and help them feel loved; by kissing this kitten, that man is establishing himself as a mother figure to it. He’s literally saying “I’m gonna be your momma now” in a language it understands, and it responds with love. Honestly it helps that he has a beard, I have a theory based on observation of cats with bearded persons that the feeling of stiff beard hair brushing the cat’s fur is sufficiently reminiscent of the feeling of Mother Cat’s rough tongue grooming a kitten’s fur that they are suckers for that business. Beardos, rub your face on a cat today and repeat back, please. “DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME” *kiss* “oh that’s actually kinda nice” : bisexualnoodle5: airyairyaucontraire: yay855: residentevil-fandomhazard: princesstigerbelle: I love how he kisses the kitten towards the end All kittens are born feral, but you can see the exact moment ahead realized how good kisses are 💜💜💜 Mother cats will often groom their babies to calm them down and help them feel loved; by kissing this kitten, that man is establishing himself as a mother figure to it. He’s literally saying “I’m gonna be your momma now” in a language it understands, and it responds with love. Honestly it helps that he has a beard, I have a theory based on observation of cats with bearded persons that the feeling of stiff beard hair brushing the cat’s fur is sufficiently reminiscent of the feeling of Mother Cat’s rough tongue grooming a kitten’s fur that they are suckers for that business. Beardos, rub your face on a cat today and repeat back, please. “DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME” *kiss* “oh that’s actually kinda nice”
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texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/: texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/

texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJ...

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texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/: texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/

texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJ...

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brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” : brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.”
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feniczoroark: aqueerkettleofish: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” @randomnightlord As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me: feniczoroark: aqueerkettleofish: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” @randomnightlord As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me
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