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Abraham Lincoln in color.: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car 1. With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In" 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy" 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk behind someone and say "follow the yellow brick road" Abraham Lincoln in color.

Abraham Lincoln in color.

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40yodater: fiaspice: carnistprivilege: evilythedwarf: untapdtreasure: willowfae82: minnigem: iopele: obstinate-nocturna: sailornightfury: toboldlygowherethewinchestersare: classykatelyn: housebuiltbyghosts: kimchicutie: acorn-burglar: theforcekeepers: DO NOT DO THIS. This makes me so angry. If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you. My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic. When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die. If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded. Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing. Please signal boost this so people know. This also applies to baristas Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.  I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte. 5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it. Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm. So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!  also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.  I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).  Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time. But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less). Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal. So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences. I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone. Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence. My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off. I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.  but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER! I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again. cut this shit out don’t be that kind of asshole. As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS! Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard. Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”. 90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before. When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them! Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!  I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.  : work theater ab a movie and when sklnny biEches order diet, coke.laive them regular. Wahahahaha 40yodater: fiaspice: carnistprivilege: evilythedwarf: untapdtreasure: willowfae82: minnigem: iopele: obstinate-nocturna: sailornightfury: toboldlygowherethewinchestersare: classykatelyn: housebuiltbyghosts: kimchicutie: acorn-burglar: theforcekeepers: DO NOT DO THIS. This makes me so angry. If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you. My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic. When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die. If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded. Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing. Please signal boost this so people know. This also applies to baristas Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.  I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte. 5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it. Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm. So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!  also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.  I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).  Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time. But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less). Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal. So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences. I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone. Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence. My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off. I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.  but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER! I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again. cut this shit out don’t be that kind of asshole. As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS! Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard. Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”. 90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before. When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them! Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!  I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim. 
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<p><a href="http://bigwordsandsharpedges.tumblr.com/post/141629053086/grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong" class="tumblr_blog">bigwordsandsharpedges</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong.tumblr.com/post/141617582645">grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/141282259324">proudblackconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This makes me sick. I am so tired of our officers being gunned down like it’s open season and nobody giving a damn.</p> </blockquote> <p>His wife is pregnant. His family has a huge hole in it.</p> </blockquote> <p>I looked him up. The shooter was a 17-year-old gang member who had recently left prison. Jacobs and his partner wanted to interview him after reports that he had illegally attempted to purchase a gun. Jacobs approached the teen to question him while his partner was talking to the dispatcher, but the suspect immediately fled. Jacobs had been shot multiple times by the time his partner found him in a suburban back yard. Jacobs had not drawn his gun and his body camera was damaged. He received emergency CPR and was rushed to the nearest hospital, but died within an hour. The camera was sent to the FBI in an effort to recover data about his final moments, but whether or not the camera was turned on at the time remains unknown. His partner’s camera had no power and was left in the car to charge the batteries.</p><p>The suspect was found a short distance from Jacobs. The police chief has not revealed details, but he may have attempted to call his mother before dying of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.</p><p>Jacobs was described as having a love for coffee because the caffeine allowed him to stay awake for long work hours. He was known for playing basketball with children in the historically black community of Nicholtown, where he specialized in anti-gang activity.</p></blockquote> <p>Damn shame.</p>: 000O AT&T 8:36 PM Q Search Greenville Police Department 2 hrs Officer Allen Jacobs was 28-years-old, married and the father of two young boys. His wife is pregnant with the couple's daughter, due to be born in July. Prior to joining the GPD, he served in the United States Army. He was a decorated Iraq war veteran. Officer Jacobs joined the GPD in August 2011, and in August 2015, was promoted to the rank of Police Officer II. In addition to serving on the Community Response Team, he was also a member of the S.W.A.T. team. Rest in peace Unit 32. We have the watch from here. Write a commen... Post News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More S.C 0 <p><a href="http://bigwordsandsharpedges.tumblr.com/post/141629053086/grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong" class="tumblr_blog">bigwordsandsharpedges</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong.tumblr.com/post/141617582645">grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/141282259324">proudblackconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This makes me sick. I am so tired of our officers being gunned down like it’s open season and nobody giving a damn.</p> </blockquote> <p>His wife is pregnant. His family has a huge hole in it.</p> </blockquote> <p>I looked him up. The shooter was a 17-year-old gang member who had recently left prison. Jacobs and his partner wanted to interview him after reports that he had illegally attempted to purchase a gun. Jacobs approached the teen to question him while his partner was talking to the dispatcher, but the suspect immediately fled. Jacobs had been shot multiple times by the time his partner found him in a suburban back yard. Jacobs had not drawn his gun and his body camera was damaged. He received emergency CPR and was rushed to the nearest hospital, but died within an hour. The camera was sent to the FBI in an effort to recover data about his final moments, but whether or not the camera was turned on at the time remains unknown. His partner’s camera had no power and was left in the car to charge the batteries.</p><p>The suspect was found a short distance from Jacobs. The police chief has not revealed details, but he may have attempted to call his mother before dying of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.</p><p>Jacobs was described as having a love for coffee because the caffeine allowed him to stay awake for long work hours. He was known for playing basketball with children in the historically black community of Nicholtown, where he specialized in anti-gang activity.</p></blockquote> <p>Damn shame.</p>

<p><a href="http://bigwordsandsharpedges.tumblr.com/post/141629053086/grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong" class="tumblr_blog">bigwordsandsharped...

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