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Anaconda, At-At, and Bad: theshitpostcalligrapher: morgan1yam: theshitpostcalligrapher: 99daysofr: theshitpostcalligrapher: theshitpostcalligrapher: it fuckin begins my dudes.  for expository context i started working on this bad boy at 1am whilst listening to a fight club audiobook for free on youtube and avoiding readings on international policy so u kno.  same as always.  #why would you dothis to yourself To test my abilities Ok hypothetically speaking how much would it cost for someone to commission something like this. about 3.8 souls on proper conversion rates, but I’m gonna start bidding at around $1500 CAD and we’ll go from there  Okay, so you’re pricing yourself waaaay low there! Not only for the cost of supplies, or time spent making it. But also for the cost on your soul and the cost of this level of quality shitmemeing.You are doing this by hand, and  In most cases, rates for book transcription are approximately $0.01 to $0.20 a word or line, $1 to $3 a page, $10 to $50 an hour, and $5,000 to $20,000 per project, depending on the difficulty of the project and the experience of the transcriptionist. Transcriptionist. Who would just be typing the words out on a keyboard. YOU ARE DOING IT PHYSICALLY. YOU ARE MAKING SHITPOST AAAART. This is effectively the Gregorian tomb of the bee movie, a potential master work. Also, you need to think of how much money you COULD be making during the time that you are spending working on this project. As well as how many months you want to not worry about snacks in the future, or having to pay off the carpel tunnel medication you’ll need for your wrist after this. (Health care is only mostly free.)TLDR: Start your bidding at at least 3 to 5 thousand… at the least. actually i redid the math on this one and you’re actually right. For commissions I charge 35 base plus 20 an hour, with higher base rates if it takes me more than a day in total (100 per day).I can usually do gothic calligraphy at a rate of about 330 characters an hour, give or take. the bee movie is about 40,683 characters in total, which totals me out at roughly 124 hours, rounding up. for just the hourly, that puts us at $2480, but the fact that that total time is over 5 days brings base fee up to 500 dollars. I use black india ink, which i could write whole encyclopedias with with just the 30 dollar bottle i bought 2 years ago, so that’s largely negligible. I use dip nibs which wear like motherfuckers and are always counted as sunk costs bc of how long their work life tends to be. The leather book cost me about 50 bucks after tax. There’s a Canadian tax thing called a “small supplier exemption” whereupon if you have a sole proprietorship entity (ie a small business/freelancing) that makes less than $30,000 a year (which i DEF DO NOT LMAO) you don’t need to register for GST/HST, which is why i don’t charge y’all taxes on stuff. Opportunity cost calculation is tricky, because as sole proprietorship, it’s difficult to quantify the potential gains lost. And in other employment, minimum in my province is 14/hour, and positions w/my degree usually start out at 20/hour anyways so thats a moot point. That totals us out at a starting bid, at cost, of $3030.00 CAD  and of course, for those who feel like it, there’s always a kofi that exists if you would like to donate to and take part in (spiritually at least) of the Tombe Of The Bee efforts
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Anaconda, Bad, and Books: REMEMBER Turn your computer off before midnight orn 12/31/99. BUY theangrymunchkin: musicalluna: cumaeansibyl: all-things-olicity: forloveofreason: shananaomi: jaybushman: spytap: ralfmaximus: faisdm: the-most-calamitous: jibini: top-lotad-breeder: chocogoat: what. why? someone pls explain to me pls i wasnt born yet in 1999 why turn computer off before midnight? what happen if u dont? y2k lol everyone was like “the supervirus is gonna take over the world and ruin everything and end the world!!!” This is the oldest I’ve ever felt. Right now. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU WEREN’T BORN YET IN 1999. Ahh the Millenium bug. It wasn’t a virus, it was an issue with how some old computers at the time were programmed to deal with dates. Basically some computers with older operating systems didn’t have anything in place to deal with the year reaching 99 and looping around to 00. It was believed that this inability to sync with the correct date would cause issues, and even crash entire systems the moment the date changed. People flipped out about it, convinced that the date discrepancy between netwoked systems would bring down computers everywhere and shut down the internet and so all systems relying on computers, including plane navigation etc. would go down causing worldwide chaos. It was genuinely believed that people should all switch off computers to avoid this. One or two smart people spoke up and said “um hey, this actually will only effect a few very outdated computers and they’ll just display the wrong date, so it probably won’t be harmful” but were largely ignored because people selling books about the end of the world were talking louder. In the end, absolutely nothing happened. Oh gosh. I’ve been a programmer working for various government agencies since the early 1990s and I can say with some confidence: NOTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE WE WORKED VERY HARD FIXING SHIT THAT MOST DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE BROKEN ON 1-JAN-2000. One example I personally worked on: vaccination databases. My contract was with the CDC to coordinate immunization registries — you know, kids’ vaccine histories. What they got, when they got it, and (most importantly) which vaccines they were due to get next and when. These were state-wide registries, containing millions of records each. Most of these systems were designed in the 1970s and 1980s, and stored the child’s DOB year as only two digits. This means that — had we not fixed it — just about every child in all the databases I worked on would have SUDDENLY AGED OUT OF THE PROGRAM 1-JAN-2000. In other words: these kids would suddenly be “too old” to receive critical vaccines. Okay, so that’s not a nuke plant exploding or airplanes dropping from the sky. In fact, nothing obvious would have occurred come Jan 1st. BUT Without the software advising doctors when to give vaccinations, an entire generation’s immunity to things like measles, mumps, smallpox (etc) would have been compromised. And nobody would even know there was a problem for months — possibly years — after. You think the fun games caused by a few anti-vaxers is bad? Imagine whole populations going unvaccinated by accident… one case of measles and the death toll might be measured in millions. This is one example I KNOW to be true, because I was there. I also know that in the years leading up to 2000 there were ad-hoc discussion groups (particularly alt.risk) of amazed programmers and project managers that uncovered year-2000 traps… and fixed them. Quietly, without fanfare.  In many cases because admitting there was a problem would have resulted in a lawsuit by angry customers. But mostly because it was our job to fix those design flaws before anyone was inconvenienced or hurt. So, yeah… all that Y2K hysteria was for nothing, because programmers worked their asses off to make sure it was for nothing. Bolding mine. Absolutely true.  My Mom worked like crazy all throughout 1998 and 1999 on dozens of systems to avoid Y2K crashes. Nothing major happened because people worked to made sure it didn’t. Now if we could just harness that concept for some of the other major issues facing us today.   this meme came so far since i saw it this morning. god i love tumblr teaching tumblr about history. As a young Sys Admin during Y2K, I can confirm that it was SRS BZNS.  I worked for a major pharmaceutical company at the time.  They spent millions of dollars on consultant and programmer hours, not to mention their own employees’ time, to fix all their in-house software as well as replace it with new systems.  Sys Admins like myself were continually deploying patches, updating firmware, and deploying new systems in the months leading up to Y2K.  Once that was done, though, the programmers went home and cashed their checks. When the FATEFUL HOUR came along, it wasn’t just one hour.  For a global company with offices in dozens of countries, it was 24 hours of being alert and on-call.  I imagine that other large organizations had similar setups with entire IT departments working in shifts to monitor everything.  Everyone was on a hair trigger, too, so the slightest problem caused ALL HANDS ON DECK pages to go out. Yes, we had pagers. For hard numbers IDC’s 2006 calculation put the total US cost of remediation, before and after, at $147 billion - that’s in 1999 dollars.  That paid for an army of programmers, including calling up retired grandparents from the senior center because COBOL and FORTRAN apps from the ‘60s needed fixing. Also note that there were some problems, including $13 billion in remediation included in the figure above.  Some of these involved nuclear power plants, medical equipment, and “a customer at a New York State video rental store had a bill for $91,250, the cost of renting the movie ‘The General’s Daughter’ for 100 years.” Y2K was anything but nothing. @figure-forever tfw you do your job so fucking well that everyone thinks you weren’t necessary in the first place :( salute our COBOL cowpokes and other Y2K wranglers, they saved all our asses another important lesson we learned: a shitload of stuff in the ‘90s was still running programs from the ‘60s and ‘70s. it’s hard to justify the expense and trouble of a massive upgrade when things are working “fine” – easier to say “well, I suppose we’ll need to change at some point, but not now” and if things really are working “fine” you can let them go on for a while but every so often you run into something like Y2K where the software simply wasn’t designed to handle certain eventualities. can’t really blame the programmers, either. if you were writing shit in the ‘60s, would you expect people to still be using it in the science-fiction year of 2000? that’s not a real year! you might be dead by then! so, y’know, you don’t always need the latest and greatest for everything you’re doing – how much power do you really need for an inventory system? – but regular upgrades are a Good Idea nerds quietly saving the world. this is superhero nonsense i love it Y2K is a large reason behind the tech boom of the 2000’s. Think about it, tons of programmers and such suddenly in demand? That “oh it’s ok for now, we don’t need to update” attitude thrown out the window? You get a turn from the let’s keep updating what we have to let’s get something new we have to update less, except that doesn’t stop with a single new thing. It becomes a trend, oh you’re having that issue well buy this new one it will never have that issue, oh you’re having issue x buy this new version we fixed issue x as well as that issue, and so on. Not saying it’s a bad thing at all, just saying it really kick-started the hastened technological path we’re on now.
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Books, Children, and Clock: igh Cost of Hogwarts Tuition $42,024 Gloves $123 Textbooks $516 Cloak $80 3 Robes $488 Pointed Hat $32 Wand $162 SOURCE: CENTIVES, LEHIGH UNIVERSITY A HOGWARTS EDUCATION MONEY Study: More expensive than Harvard CNN SANDandGLASS.tumbl.com COMEOY cocaine-and-insulin: miakosamuio: mishastolemywormstache: sandandglass: CNN actually researched how much it would cost to go to Hogwarts #NO WONDER THE WEASLEYS ARE FUCKING BROKE How exactly did they “research” this? Looks like they just pulled a bunch of random figures out of their butts. It’s stated in the books that tuition to Hogwarts is “free for all children in Britain”. I don’t know why they thought it wouldn’t be - it’s a British high school, not a college. So there, you just saved yourself $42,024. In Chamber of Secrets, Mrs. Weasley emptied her entire bank account which contained only two galleons [£10 / US$20] and she managed to buy all five children’s entire set of books and potion ingredients with this, as well as Ginny’s robes, hat, clock, cauldron, and wand!!! And we know she bought all of these as she mentioned having to buy them. The fact that she bought all of these with only £10 pretty much proves how absolutely ridiculous CNNs estimation is. If you want more proof, the actual cost of Harry’s want is far over estimated here, and the exact price in both pounds as US dollars can easily be found right within the books! Harry’s wand is bought for seven galleons, a galleon being worth about five pounds [mentioned by JK Rowling in an interview and in FBAWTFT/QTTA] means that his wand was £35, or US$53. So there’s some straight-out-of-the-books-and-word-of-god proof that the figures CNN have given are way off the mark. Not to mention the fact that even if you don’t go to Hogwarts, as a magical human you’re gonna have to buy a wand anyway if you want to do magic. As for the school books, I’ve done an approximation based on various prices given through-out the books and on Pottermore. While these prices involve a substantial amount of guess-work, I think you’ll agree that my calculation is far more accurate than CNNs: The Standard book of Spells costs one sickle [29p / US59c]. On the back of my comic relief copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them it says it costs fourteen sickles [£4.60 / US$8.26]. One Pottermore, all text books are one galleon [£4.97  / US$10.17] - however Pottermore currency only uses galleons so it’s likely they have rounded off. Lockhart’s books, the most expensive in the series, are five galleons on Pottermore meaning that the exchange rate in the books puts them around two galleons and fourteen sickles [£14.60 / US$20.80]. If we put a high average on this and assume that all textbooks are approximately a galleon [they are likely much less], and that each year has around seven required reading books, the entire price for seven years worth of books would be forty-nine galleons, which equals approximately £243, or US$367 - and remember, this is the maximum estimated price for the textbooks. For the minimum, we need to consider that the Weasleys get a lot of things second hand, with Ginny’s copy of A Begginers Guide To Transfiguration being described as “a very old, very battered copy” - likely no more than five sickles. If they got all their books around that price, it would cost them no more than £14 / US$21 for the entire seven years worth! So school books, far from being US$516, fall somewhere between US$14 and US$367 for the entire seven years at Hogwarts. Next we have robe, glove, cloak, and hat prices - these are never mentioned in the books or on Pottermore, so I can’t account for that. However I seriously doubt it’s as a high as they’ve got here. Considering books in the wizarding world are generally much cheaper than in the muggle world, I think it’s fairly safe to assume that clothing is as well. Likely a maximum of a galleon for a single set of robes. They’ve also forgotten a huge number of things - cauldrons, potion ingredients, scales, and star charts, among others. So yeah, I really don’t know where they came up with these figures. It looks like some guy just wanted to make a story about how expensive Hogwarts would be and put a bunch of American college figures together and thought “yeah, this looks good.” Do not fuck with a fandom.
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