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/k/ommando tells us about Uncle Peewee: Anonymous 09/23/16 (Fri)15:04:56 No.31434005 31434063 31434176 e 31436971 >31437323 31440330 31431898 (OP >Get a new EAA .357 mag on the way to meet parents out camping >Far innawoods. Have to hike 2.5 miles in. >Hang out for a bit. Show 357 to fudd dad. >He takes a potshot at a squirrel that's been making noise in the trees >He loves it. >Out of nowhere, sister shows up with her bf of a week. Tall lanky pseudo numale kinda guy >He looks uncomfortable, but dosn't want to speak up Then again, he's far innawoods with a bunch of armed hilljacks, so it's easy to see why. >Finally he asks s it real? Not airsoft or something?" And points to the .357 >Feeling like a jackass, I shoot at the squirrel dad shot it. >Sister and bf cover their ears >Direct hit. Tree rat almost torn in half. "Yeah, I think it is." >He's silent and white faced the rest of the day. >They broke up 3 days later. >Sister beyond upset. I feel a little bad, but the extended family is far worse. He would have a nervous breakdown if he was at any gathering. >2015 >Uncle Peewee is threatened with arrest if he fires his 20mm across the road again. Anonymous 09/23/16 (Fri)15:24:40 No.31434176 2 31434288 31434005 Uncle Peewee is threatened with arrest if he fires his 20mm across the road again. Uncle Peewee sounds like a fun man Anonymous 09/23/16 (Fri)20:32:21 No.31437316 31437560 31438463 31437252 Imagine a 4'11 man who is so buff he can't put his arms down all the way, bald as a cueball, has a smile that can loosen the tightest, most constipated bowels, topped off with a curse laden voice that can heard for miles. Behold Uncle Peewee and despair. O Anonymous 09/23/16 (Fri)15:37:02 No. 31434288 31434310 31434380 >>31436642 >>31438279 31438298 31434176 He's a 4'11 roidrage human shitpost >Winter 2009 >Uncle Peewee is on the local news for chopping up snowmen around town and dumping box wine on the remains. >Winter 2009 again >Uncle Peewee is in the ER after playing chicken with a truck while on a sled. Truck is junkyard bound while Peewee only needs an eyebrow stitched Summer 2010 Uncle Peewee is fined by the city after he fucks an underground cable line trying to dig a moat around his house. Summer 2010 >Uncle Peewee spends a night in jail after breaking 4, yes 4, barstools on one guy's face after a drunken argument I could go on for damn near ever. Anonymous 09/23/16 (Fri)15:59:58 No.31434505 31435376 2 31435539 2231 31436677 31435622 31436896 31436997 31437213 31437484 31439345 31439516 31434310 Summer 2010 >Uncle Peewee almost explodes his RV trying to make napalm with all the windows sealed >Fall 2010 The township officially bans Uncle Peewee from saying "Pepper my Angus" in public after he makes a woman faint from saying it over and over. >Fall 2010 >Uncle Peewee nearly dies making "the worlds biggest dry ice bomb." The explosion set off car alarms over 200 yards away. >Fall 2010 >Uncle Peewee is taken to detox after trying to buy a frog suit while 6 times over the legal BAC. Said he wanted to play "real frogger >Fall 2010 >Police order Uncle Peewee to cease and desist after he's pulled over driving a van with candy" painted on the side during Halloween. He still has that van Winter 2010 >Uncle Peewee's neighbors house is broken into while the neighbors are away. Peewee confronts the burglar and beats him into submission with an empty mosin stock. Gotta go for now. Anonymous 09/23/16 (Fri)20:21:31 No. 31437213 31437252 31437820 31438521 31439516 31434505 Home from work >Winter 2010 Uncle Peewee tries to make 12g "Acid" shells. E nds up with a mess of melted plastic and missing a layer of skin on his hands >Winter 2010 Uncle Peewee tries to become the local mall Santa. Gets denied. Dumps bleach in a mass aquarium in retaliation. All the fish died >Spring 2011 Uncle Peewee tries speed dating. Ends up in a fight with another man who called him a "queer". Other man is kicked so hard in the ass his tailbone is broken. He then went out with one of the girls he never got cycled to and marries her 7 months later Unexpected last snow. Uncle Peewee throws gasoline on his driveway and lights it, not wanting to shovel Spring 2011 Uncle Peewee's office does some weekly dodgeball thing to promote fitness. Peewee is thrown out for purposely aiming for the nuts Summer 2011 Uncle Peewee buys a pair of 44 magnums, holsters, and assless chaps. Walks around town like a cowboy then is told to cover up or be charged with indecent exposure Summer 2011 Uncle Peewee steals a bush from his neighbor across the street to cover a spot in his garden. >Fall 2011 Uncle Peewee makes a huge, bowling ball throwing slingshot and invites the neighbor kids to play with it. One kid got the idea to use a baseball. Ball was thrown out of sight. Lady who lives 3/4s of a mile down was seen driving by with a shattered back window. /k/ommando tells us about Uncle Peewee
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