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Animals, Bad, and Cats: vet-and-wild The weird wavs l 've accidentally trained my cat to wake me up I can't stand animals that are obnoxious in the mornings when they want to get up and be fed. So, l've taken a pretty hard stance on ignoring obnoxious morning behavior to avoid reinforcing it. However, Garrus is a very fast learner, and he's noticed that there's a few things I'm really bad at ignoring. I've created the most bizarre alarm 1. Chowing on my phono oord. Ho only dooo it in tho morning when he wants me to get up. I've never seen him do it any other time. It's really hard for me to ignore my cat chewing on something plugged into an outlet. And so I have accidentally trained him to chew on it when I'm being stubborn and I don't want to get out of bed. Solution: unplug the phone and go back to sleep. 2. Swatting at my curtains. He likes to do it when he has the night zoomies and l'm trying to sleep instead of giving him attention. It's a really annoying sound. Like, REALLY annoying. And in my half-asleep state, my initial response was to grumble and tell him to knock it off. Didn't work so well for a cat that is doing an obnoxious behavior to get attention He didn't care that I was yelling at him-he was getting the attention he wanted. The one time l was just too exhausted to deal with him and didn't respond, he gave up pretty quickly. That'o whon I roalizod ho'd boon playing mo. Now I juot ignore it and he stops pretty fast. 3. Changing the temperature on my snake's HerpStat. I don't even know how he started this one, but one day I was lounging in my bed in the morning and I heard the HerpStat beeping like it does when the temp has been changed. And l panicked because I didn't want my snake being burnt to a crisp! Big mistake. My sudden movement out of bed reinforced Garrus, and for the next few days l'd wake up to beeping. I don't know if he was biting it, or nudging it, or what but my attempts to scold him only caused him to make happy "murrrrp" noises because I was acknowledging his presence. I have now placed the HerpStat in a high open drawer so he can't reach it. But I'm still kind of in shock that he learned to do this. Little punk. l think Pavlov is laughing at me clickercake Accidentally reinforced behaviors are an absolute riot clickerpunk Omg my mornings are EXACTLY like this. But my cat has discovered that if she scratches the floor i shoot out of bed because i dont want her peeing on the floor or something.. The moment i sit up in bed she goes "brrrp!" because im awake.. Damn smart cats Source: vet-and-wild 287 notes Cat training

Cat training

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Crazy, Dating, and Destiny: CUSTOMER SERVICE it is just plane wrong you have not swiped right yet Jake, 27 Jake, 27 less than a mile away less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda I would re-accommodate every last passenger just to be the guy that gets to sit next to you I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 O less than a mile away One date, one opportunity...You are everything l ever wanted. In one moment, would you swipe right, or just let it slip? Want to be crazy in love? Well, to the left, to the left. Swipe every other guy to the left. My palms won't be sweaty. Flirt-game not weak, charm is heavy. I have a date planned already. let's get spaghetti If I like it, I might put a ring on it. It could be our destiny to have a child, but for now, let's just get pizza Still Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously I am looking for a girl who is willing to break all ties with their ex. I don't care if you have to make up some lie like "there isn't enough space for the two of us" Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. eok a love story. Let go of the past; I promise our love won't hit any icebergs. Fake News N.К. missies can't reach the US. But I can reach your heart. Breaking News Trump pulls out of Paris chmate agreement Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Every guy eventually experiences issues with their rocket. Some rockets explode prematurely. Some never explode at all Just like our president, when I promise to pull out, I follow through But I promise that no matter what, we will have a blast. Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.

Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.

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Cats, Dogs, and Funny: Bu/no dain nae the a hne how many dogs does it take votone ives ahead ot us to change a lightbulb? sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? sorry, but I don't see a light bulb. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. ◆ Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Rottweiler: Make me. ◆ Boxer: Who cares?! can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can 1? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeze please, please, please Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry ◆ The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change ligh to take advantage of the German Shepherd: I'lI change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make I'll just pop it in while I'm sure I haven't missed bouncing off the walls any, and make just one and furniture. more perimeter patrol to Old English Sheep e see that no one has tried Dog: Light bulb? I'm situation. Jack Russell Terrier: bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I carn expect some light, some dinner, and a massage? 28 July 9, 2011 Funny

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Anaconda, Drunk, and Fall: So a woman's idea of being friends is A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is Hey listen to all my problems and keep me niambi ers Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there's a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have- you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subject s but rarely involves actually on about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can't get emotional support unless you're drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women's friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can't lean on her when you're weak, she's not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That's what a romantic partner does. But women think that's what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support they don't die when widowed at nearly the rate that wid- owers die and they don't suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don't put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn't manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can't reach out to male friends for basic friendship I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It's emotional, it's important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn't have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can't share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can't get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the worlid owes them the love of a woman, like it's a commodity... because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can't share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply miS The only way to fix this is to teach boys it's okay to love your friends. It's okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It's okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved so men, this one's on you. Women can't fix this for you; you don't listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, "What? You don't want to be my friend?" I'll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. fall-out-man Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it's called Friend vs Friendzone
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