cap



                
Capping
Capping

Capping

Ÿ˜˜
Ÿ˜˜

Ÿ˜˜

Team Cap
Team Cap

Team Cap

Excits
Excits

Excits

Cyanide And Happieness
Cyanide And Happieness

Cyanide And Happieness

wear
 wear

wear

growing
 growing

growing

rolling
rolling

rolling

bottle
bottle

bottle

the keys
the keys

the keys

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Bless Up, Dude, and Gym: These doggos are true bros until the end of time @DrSmashlove Reddit u/beesbuzzlots Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly specific stretches. Arm swings that vaguely resemble a golf swing. But the key giveaway that Chadwick is a certified golf bro is he rocking that Titleist brand cap. U feel me? Like that’s him saying: “u peasants are here to look big in a t-shirt. I lift so I can add 10 yards to my drive ☺️.” (Side note I’ve been golfing for two years now bc I have to (for work) and the reason I do it rarely is bc u have to put in hours every wknd to yield modest improvements in ya game and I got better things to do on wknds like look at memes and take depression naps 🤗😂). Now then. Seeing all these Titleist caps got me thinking: Why isn’t this a word? Like this should be a thing. “Susan if I do say so myself you are looking delightfully Titlè today. Oh of course! No I mean it! Just fulsome and perky. Are you on your red river by chance(?) Yes? How did I guess? LOL you’re silly Susan. Just a wild premonition ☺️. Have an awesome day ❤️.” U feel me? “Erica! My goodness! U are looking Titlèier than I’ve ever seen before. That bathing suit can barely hold you lol! No, thank YOU! Your Titlèiness has made this trip to the pool absolutely worth my while!” U feel me? Like how could someone feel offended by being called Titlè? It’s such a delicate, gracious word! “Samantha I’m gonna be frank. You know I have zero filter LOL so here goes - bombs away ☺️. I’ve dated some wonderfully Titlè women before. Really. Just shapely and awesome. But you’re the Titlèist. Yes. YES. Don’t debate me on this SAMANTHA 😂. No YOU stop! Oh now you’re blushing ... LIKE NOBODY’S EVER CALLED YOU TITLÈ BEFORE I MEAN YOU’RE WEARING A SHEER TOP IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE YOUR TITLÈIOSITY 😂.” Titlèism = the study of mammaries. Titlèness = an abundance of mammarical wondrousness. U feel me? It’s 2018. Let’s make this a word. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (pic: @gamzeilefelix)

Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly...

Fall, Fashion, and Head: A Classic lcon In Style: The French "Beret" @balleralert A Classic Icon In Style: The French “Beret” - blogged by @lanaladonna (swipe) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The “beret” which made its debut as early as 1835, is a prime example of history repeating itself. The popular accessory is a soft, round cap with a flat crown, typically made of knitted wool. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Its versatility and sleek style has caused for the entire world to enjoy this timeless piece. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Back in October of 2017, InStyle predicted the piece would be the “chicest fall accessory” of the 2017-2018 Fall and Winter seasons, after being flaunted on the runway of Paris Fashion Week. It’s safe to say, their predictions were head-on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Your favorite celebrities have been spotted wearing the stylish headpiece, from KeyshiaKaoir to CardiB. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Some may choose to play it safe with the classic, black beret, adding “classic Hollywood” to their look in an instant, while others may go for a more modern, sassier look with the red one. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now, if you are looking to dab into your inner "Clueless" moment, the dainty beret is the perfect go-to accessory while it's still cold outside. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ How do you style your beret?

A Classic Icon In Style: The French “Beret” - blogged by @lanaladonna (swipe) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The “beret” which made its debut as early as 1...

80s, Bless Up, and Clock: Meet Eddie, the Hospital Therapy Dog who is always carrying around his bookbag of toys and can always be found in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit @DrSmashlove Reddit u/Stuffy Unicorn Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy but a real one, an unironic one lol. And he look like Tom Brady in the face but he burly like Tom Hardy. And he got no shirt under the overalls just manly. And my girl like “Aren’t you cold?” And in a syrupy southern drawl he say “mayam - I werked one year as longshoreman in Alasker. One tam - my toes done froze off, lost two. But I survaved. An I don’t git cold no mowar. 🤠” He reach under the steering wheel, pop the hood, walk around, flicks it open, props it up with only his arm, grab wiper fluid out of the bed of his truck which also houses a deer he just shot, opens it with his mouth, pours the fluid, replaces the cap. I’m in awe. My girl even more in awe. He grab a blanket out of his truck and wrap up my girl and he like “just makin sure yer old lady’s warm, sir 😌. Would yall lak to come to my home for some deer steaks before continuing yer journey?” And I’m like “wow what a gracious offer u know what MSNBC and CNN are wrong about y’all, rednecks are amazing people” and just then. Right then. My girl hop out the whip. I’m like “WOMAN! IT’S SNOWING?” And she like “you don’t want steak then suit yourself I’M HUNGRY. We could have stopped at Ponderosa like I asked but you said we almost home WELL SMASH WE AIN’T.” And with that she retreat to the redneck’s truck. “But baby,” I said. “We got a nice home. Like the republican Family in Strangers things 😥.” “That might be true” she say “but money can’t buy happiness.” And just like that they ride off in the sunset. People always say “I was born in the wrong era.” BIH! NOT ME! In the 80s u could lose ya girl over wiper fluid! I’m not handy but I know how a Neapolitan suit should fit in the shoulder and how to tastefully appoint a living room with Eames chairs and Mies van der Rohe bench but still make it vibe with heirloom pieces like a grandfather clock! Bish I’m aesthetic asf! I was raised with sisters! And it’s ladies who, combined with my wondrous tung and pipe game, and my brand of earnest empathy, accept my type of manliness lol! Thank you God!! Bless up! 😂😂😂

Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy b...

Bless Up, Cars, and Driving: Was trying to sneak a photo when this pretty girl suddenly turned around and flashed me this big smile @DrSmashlove Reddit u/erisedwild So yesterday bruv I was driving and my windshield wiper fluid ran out. Bro I done told y’all before, I don’t know about cars. I’m good at a few very specific things. Being handy ain’t one of them. So after some momentary panic, I hit the market and buy some wiper fluid. Then I consulted my rock. My confidante. My soulmate: Google 😍. First I had to know where’s the button in my car to pop the hood. Googled 🤗. Then I had to figure out where is that stick that props up the hood! Googled 😁. Finally, “where do I put wiper fluid”. Googled that but this time the google assistant wanna pop up like “Look for the large plastic cap in the lower left hand corner. Also, our algorithm indicates that You Might Like: ‘how to freshen your Nani naturally with Organic Lavender 🌷’, ‘Kylie’s New Perfectly Pregnant Eye Shadow - Reviews and On-Skin Test!’ and ‘Cosmopolitan: 17 Ways to Blow his Mind in Bed!’” And by then I’m like “U KNOW WHAT GOOGLE ENUF OF U TODAY GOODBYE ASF 😂”. And that got me thinking 🤔. What happened before Google? In the 1980s, what if I pulled over and didn’t know how to fill my wiper fluid? Simple. I’d pull over. I’d fiddle with my hood for 45 minutes while my girl stay in the car, worried for her life. Then a nice redneck man would pull over in a pickup... [to continue the story y’all gotta chune in to Part 2, bless up! 😂😂😂]

So yesterday bruv I was driving and my windshield wiper fluid ran out. Bro I done told y’all before, I don’t know about cars. I’m good at a ...

Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her swaddling technique on the dog. Reddit u/ohaivoltage @DrSmashlove So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂

So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and fo...

Bless Up, Chipotle, and Dating: u/TheMorganiser 4d She held a rubber duckie in her mouth to keep herself calm as I gave her a shower @DrSmashlove See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies don’t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Cap’n Crunch Decoder Ring ®️ u doomed to a lifetime of being lost in the sauce. Smash is here to help u decode 🤗. Now, on the pages of this account, I have detailed the true meaning behind the “GOOD NIGHT” text sent before the hour of 9 pm. As I’ve stated - nobody going to schleep at 8:02 pm. What she doing is saying: “BISH U ON NOTICE.” But many steps have to occur on the way to GOOD NIGHT. By then u done pissed her off to the point where she real, real tight with u. So what are the warning signs. One of my favorites is the following morning text: “Ok! Well, hope you have a good day 😌.” MEN ... BE CAUTIOUS 😂. Nothing about this text mean what it say. Girls don’t want u to have a good day. Quite the opposite. They wanna text u ALLLL DAY and get as many details as possible about ya a$$. How was lunch? Oh good. How’s work? How’s the gym? How’s dinner at Chipotle after the gym? Did u get queso? OMG THE QUESO MAKES THE BURRITO BOWL SO GOOD LOL LIKE GUAC *AND* QUESO I’VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN HAHA WYD. Nah. Hell nah. “Hope you have a good day” is code for “well now. I see you’re too busy to reply to my text at 9:02 am by 9:01 am like a good man should. Because you’re not a good man. In fact you’re awful. Literally why are we talking? GOOD 👏 PP 👏 WAS 👏 ENUF 👏 FOR 👏 ME 👏 WHEN 👏 I 👏 WAS 👏 22 👏 BUT 👏 I’M 👏 27 👏 NOW 👏 I’M 👏 A 👏 NEW 👏 KATELYN 👏 AND 👏 THIS 👏 KATELYN 👏 WON’T 👏 ACCEPT 👏 ‘Read 9:02 AM’. Question: why are you even dating? Mmmmwhy do you even think you’re fit to date? 🤔 YOU’RE STILL A HURT LITTLE BOY. YOU’RE NOT A GROWN MAN. GROWN MET REPLY TO A TEXT AT 9:02 am BY 9:01 am. WHERE IS A MAN WHO WILL ANTICIPATE MY FEELINGS AND TEXT ME WHAT I’M ALREADY THINKING WHILE I’M STILL COMPOSING MY THOUGHTS BUT HE SEES THREE DOTS AND CAN ALREADY READ MY MIND? WHERE, GOD? Ok. Forget it. Back to Bumble. Maybe Matt2983 will do BETTER. Hope you have a good day 😌.” BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies don’t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Cap’n Crunch D...

Af, Be Like, and Bless Up: Retired therapy dog gets a kitten for christmas. Pic: reddit u/lizcomp @DrSmashlove So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved followers: “hold up...dogs and coyotes mix?” Now I ain’t think much about it at the time, but upon further reflection...DOGS AND COYOTES (and dogs and wolves 🐺) MIX?! LIKE THESE SPECIES HAVE RELATIONS BRUV?! 😂. Imagine the type of pressure u under as a dog! Like Mr. Peter Poodle hanging at home with Mrs. Pepper Poodle and she gardening and he tending the lawn in overalls and down the street come a wolf and a coyote in a black Chrysler 300 (like them Chryslers that all the trappers drive where it look like a Bentley but really Issa Chrysler) and Mr. Walter Wolf behind the wheel in Cartier glasses, an LA Raiders cap and a leather Pelle Pelle jacket crunching jolly ranchers and holding a double styrofoam cup just pull up to the crib like “AYE PEPPER. GET IN THE WHIP, B!H.” And ol Peter just like “I’m sorry! You can’t speak to my spouse like that! Stop at once before I alert the authorities! I’ll have you know that I golf with the Chief of Police!” And Walter Wolf just hop out and tear Peter’s leg off and start eating it lmao. And he look at Peter like BOY LEMME GIVE U A LIL HISTORY LESSON. ME AND PEPPER USE TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I GOT HER CARRYING MY PUPS TOO BUT SHE WENT TO PLANNED PUPPERHOOD. SHE AIN TELL U ALL THAT DID SHE. PLUS SHE SENDING ME SNAPS WHEN U AT WORK OL “Peter from procurement” lookin a$$. FYI. PEPPER GET IN THE DAMN CAR. NONE OF THIS ARF ARF WOOF WOOF ISHT. SHE READY TO GO BACK TO A REAL BEAST.” And Walter just throw Peter’s leg on the ground and be like “I’LL BRING HER BACK WHEN I’M DONE.” Smfh. Animal kingdom wil af. Thank God I ain’t gotta deal with an uber-species of trained killers coming for my ladies. To quote Gucci Mane...sh!t shkressful Bruh 😫 BLESS UP 😂😂😂

So last week I posted an adorable pup that was a doggo-coyote mix. Obviously that precipitated a lot of bewildered comments from my beloved ...