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chem Memes

Rispondi
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Lab
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The Lord
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Flipping
Vespiquen
Vespiquen
Reptilian Overlords
Reptilian Overlords
Im So Stupid
Im So Stupid
So Pumped
So Pumped 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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        Ass, Bad, and Disappointed: LEATHERMOUTH
 BLUNT # 77
 TO BE
 QUITE
 FRANK
 a singer and maybe we'll do a record. So they had a
 friend they tried out on vocals but it didn't work out
 because he didn't write any lyrics. So they were just
 like, "We're probably gonna scrap the band. I was like
 There's no way you can kill this band!' Iasked them to
 have one practice with me singing. I convinced them to
 book a practice studio on a weekend and I wrote a few
 lyrics and we had a practice and that was it."
 For a long time LeATHERMOUTH was a studio-only
 project, recording in lero's basement during times when
 he wasn't touring the world with The Black Parade.
 "We recorded everything with me and Rob (Hughes)
 and couple of other guys. Now it's like two years later
 and it's just me Rob left. The rest of guys that started
 the band, a couple went off and started another band,
 "The world is full of people that
 are hiding from thestuff that's
 going on in the world today.I
 wanted to attack these things
 head-on."-Frank lero
 that broke up, some people got married, moved away,
 whatever. So when we wanted to tour, we recruited
 James DeWees (Get Up Kids, Reggie & The Full Effect)
 to play drums, my friend John Maguire to play bass and
 my other friend, Eddie Auletta, to play guitar."
 Signed to indie godhead Epitaph/Shock, LeATHER
 MOUTH will release their debut full-length, XO, this
 January. Subscribing to an unwavering musical aes
 thetic of relentless, heavy hardcore punk, XO's lyrical
 tirades are directed towards everyone from the cops to
 drug dealers to the government to school bullies. With
 very little melodic ambition to speak of, lero screams
 like a man literally bursting with things to say.
 On the touring side of things, the band completed
 a mini US tour in September with Reggie & The Full
 Effect, followed in December by four dates support-
 ing Mindless Self Indulgence
 "That was a thing where convenience came into
 play," lero says of the brief bouts of touring. "My
 Chem was on tour, so of course my good friend James
 DeWees was on tour with us, he plays keyboards with
 My Chem. We were talking about doing other bands
 and stuff, we'd been practicing on the road and we
 decided a LeATHERMOUTH tour would be cool. James
 HOLD ONTO YOUR FRINGES MY
 CHEMICAL ROMANCE FANS FRANK
 IERO IS ONE PISSED OFF DUDE AND
 LEATHERMOUTH IS ONE PISSED-OFF
 SIDE-PROJECT. BY MATT
 REEKIE
 hallenging an audience to think is tanta-
 mount to commercial suicide in the rock
 game. So it's a damn lucky thing that shift
 ing units was the last thing on My Chemical
 Romance guitarist Frank lero's mind when
 he conceived LeATHERMOUTH
 Pissed off at the world and all the evil sons of
 bitches in it, LeATHERMOUTH is set to inflame debate
 both musical and political. The group's hardcore punk
 sound is too brutal and unrelenting to appeal to a
 mass audience, but that's beside the point as far as
 My Chem then for one, they would probably be really
 disappointed and two, very offended.
 "Another reason I wanted to keep it anonymouUS
 is because I was a little scared of what people would
 think. But on the other hand, I don't want to run away
 from anything or pretend that I didn't say some of the
 things I've said. The world is full of people that are hid-
 ing from the stuff that's going on in the world today.
 wanted to attack these things head-on. People are
 so PC, parents want to shield their kids' eyes to what's
 actually going on, and I think that's just adding to the
 misery that's running rampant in the world today."
 Formed in New Jersey in 2007 by some friends of
 lero, including Rob Hughes, LeATHERMOUTH could just
 as easily have never happened. To hear lero explain the
 whole story, one starts to understand how much his
 own personal passion and drive brought the thing to
 life. Clearly,he needed this outlet
 "It was actually right before [My Chemical Ro-
 mance] recorded The Black Parade," he begins. "I was
 back home, we had taken some time off, and a couple
 of my friends were thinking of starting a new band.
 "I remember it like it was yesterday. It was right
 before we were going to see a movie; we were in the
 parking lot of the movies and we all crowded into their
 Volkswagen. They played me this 3 song demo, there
 were no vocals or anything like that, just simple verse-
 chorus punk rock, and I was like, Wow, how can I be
 involved with this band?
 "I have my record label, Skeleton Crew that Irun
 with a few friends so I told these guys they should find
 was going to do a Reggie & The Full Effect tour, so
 we decided that I'd play in Reggie with him and we'd
 both do LeATHERMOUTH
 "We had done a few shows here and there but
 it never felt real until we did the Reggie & The Full
 Effect tour. It actually felt like the band was finally
 doing things after two years of just recording in my
 basement. All these emotions started to come out
 and the shows just got better every day. By the time
 we were like, 'This is turning into something incred-
 ible,' the tour was over. We were like, "We need to
 lero is concerned
 book something else.' But then life comes in and you
 have to do certain things."
 These "certain things" for lero include his duties
 with My Chemical Romance, which will almost
 certainly ensure that LeATHERMOUTH gigs are fewer
 and farther between in 2009.
 It remains to be seen whether the thrashy hardcore
 sound of LeATHERMOUTH will influence lero's con-
 tribution to the new MCR album. He's fairly certain it
 won't, but he's not ruling
 anything out
 "That's the thing with My
 Chem, you never say never
 because anything can come
 out.I don't know what will
 "If I kept this inside any longer, I would probably
 explode," he says flatly of the project, which features
 himself on vocals alongside an old Jersey friend, Rob
 Hughes, on guitar
 LeATHERMOUTH inhabits a completely different
 realm to the highly commercial one ruled over by My
 Chemical Romance. Likewise, it's a long way from the
 singer/songwriter folk ballads, electronica dabbling,
 or white boy rap that so often rear their ugly heads
 when members of popular rock bands embark upon
 side-projects. LEATHERMOUTH is all about hard, fast
 LEATHERMOUTH
 and raw punk rock.
 "It's not better than My Chem, it's not worse than
 My Chem, it's just different, and I really feel like I need
 both," lero states. In an effort to soften the blow for
 MCR fans, he stresses that the two bands could not be
 more dissimilar. "Originally I thought maybe l'd keep
 it completely anonymous. I thought if people would
 automatically check this out solely because they like
 ATHEAMAUTH
 Xo
 happen. Maybe we'll throw
 a heavy-ass breakdown on
 the new record? I'd put my
 money on no, but you never
 can tell." B
 XO is out on
 January 24th
 on Epitaph
 through Shock.
demolitonlover:

Blunt Magazine, February 2009 (x x)
Additional record review which was not scanned and received 8 out of 10:When guitarist for New Jersey pretty boys My Chemical Romance, Frank Iero, gets some time away from the band, he likes to relax by getting down in his basement with his other band and screaming till the veins pop out in his forehead. He’s been doing this for the past few years, making recordings with some friends under the banner, LeATHERMOUTH. XO, the full-length debut by the side-project, is brutal hardcore with raw, savage production (it really was recorded in Iero’s basement) and lyrics that are matched for passion and aggression by the guttural delivery. There’s no pop hooks, no emo choruses - nothing to cry over, but plenty to get you fired up. While on one hand it’s sure to attract a lot of curious My Chem fans, mayn of whom are sure to either disappointed or downright frightened, this connection mean it’s also liable to miss its target market slightly due to the fact that regular fans of this type of raging hardcore are sure to be put off by Iero’s day job. Too bad for the snobs who think that way - they’re missing out big time. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Ass, Bad, and Disappointed: LEATHERMOUTH
 BLUNT # 77
 TO BE
 QUITE
 FRANK
 a singer and maybe we'll do a record. So they had a
 friend they tried out on vocals but it didn't work out
 because he didn't write any lyrics. So they were just
 like, "We're probably gonna scrap the band. I was like
 There's no way you can kill this band!' Iasked them to
 have one practice with me singing. I convinced them to
 book a practice studio on a weekend and I wrote a few
 lyrics and we had a practice and that was it."
 For a long time LeATHERMOUTH was a studio-only
 project, recording in lero's basement during times when
 he wasn't touring the world with The Black Parade.
 "We recorded everything with me and Rob (Hughes)
 and couple of other guys. Now it's like two years later
 and it's just me Rob left. The rest of guys that started
 the band, a couple went off and started another band,
 "The world is full of people that
 are hiding from thestuff that's
 going on in the world today.I
 wanted to attack these things
 head-on."-Frank lero
 that broke up, some people got married, moved away,
 whatever. So when we wanted to tour, we recruited
 James DeWees (Get Up Kids, Reggie & The Full Effect)
 to play drums, my friend John Maguire to play bass and
 my other friend, Eddie Auletta, to play guitar."
 Signed to indie godhead Epitaph/Shock, LeATHER
 MOUTH will release their debut full-length, XO, this
 January. Subscribing to an unwavering musical aes
 thetic of relentless, heavy hardcore punk, XO's lyrical
 tirades are directed towards everyone from the cops to
 drug dealers to the government to school bullies. With
 very little melodic ambition to speak of, lero screams
 like a man literally bursting with things to say.
 On the touring side of things, the band completed
 a mini US tour in September with Reggie & The Full
 Effect, followed in December by four dates support-
 ing Mindless Self Indulgence
 "That was a thing where convenience came into
 play," lero says of the brief bouts of touring. "My
 Chem was on tour, so of course my good friend James
 DeWees was on tour with us, he plays keyboards with
 My Chem. We were talking about doing other bands
 and stuff, we'd been practicing on the road and we
 decided a LeATHERMOUTH tour would be cool. James
 HOLD ONTO YOUR FRINGES MY
 CHEMICAL ROMANCE FANS FRANK
 IERO IS ONE PISSED OFF DUDE AND
 LEATHERMOUTH IS ONE PISSED-OFF
 SIDE-PROJECT. BY MATT
 REEKIE
 hallenging an audience to think is tanta-
 mount to commercial suicide in the rock
 game. So it's a damn lucky thing that shift
 ing units was the last thing on My Chemical
 Romance guitarist Frank lero's mind when
 he conceived LeATHERMOUTH
 Pissed off at the world and all the evil sons of
 bitches in it, LeATHERMOUTH is set to inflame debate
 both musical and political. The group's hardcore punk
 sound is too brutal and unrelenting to appeal to a
 mass audience, but that's beside the point as far as
 My Chem then for one, they would probably be really
 disappointed and two, very offended.
 "Another reason I wanted to keep it anonymouUS
 is because I was a little scared of what people would
 think. But on the other hand, I don't want to run away
 from anything or pretend that I didn't say some of the
 things I've said. The world is full of people that are hid-
 ing from the stuff that's going on in the world today.
 wanted to attack these things head-on. People are
 so PC, parents want to shield their kids' eyes to what's
 actually going on, and I think that's just adding to the
 misery that's running rampant in the world today."
 Formed in New Jersey in 2007 by some friends of
 lero, including Rob Hughes, LeATHERMOUTH could just
 as easily have never happened. To hear lero explain the
 whole story, one starts to understand how much his
 own personal passion and drive brought the thing to
 life. Clearly,he needed this outlet
 "It was actually right before [My Chemical Ro-
 mance] recorded The Black Parade," he begins. "I was
 back home, we had taken some time off, and a couple
 of my friends were thinking of starting a new band.
 "I remember it like it was yesterday. It was right
 before we were going to see a movie; we were in the
 parking lot of the movies and we all crowded into their
 Volkswagen. They played me this 3 song demo, there
 were no vocals or anything like that, just simple verse-
 chorus punk rock, and I was like, Wow, how can I be
 involved with this band?
 "I have my record label, Skeleton Crew that Irun
 with a few friends so I told these guys they should find
 was going to do a Reggie & The Full Effect tour, so
 we decided that I'd play in Reggie with him and we'd
 both do LeATHERMOUTH
 "We had done a few shows here and there but
 it never felt real until we did the Reggie & The Full
 Effect tour. It actually felt like the band was finally
 doing things after two years of just recording in my
 basement. All these emotions started to come out
 and the shows just got better every day. By the time
 we were like, 'This is turning into something incred-
 ible,' the tour was over. We were like, "We need to
 lero is concerned
 book something else.' But then life comes in and you
 have to do certain things."
 These "certain things" for lero include his duties
 with My Chemical Romance, which will almost
 certainly ensure that LeATHERMOUTH gigs are fewer
 and farther between in 2009.
 It remains to be seen whether the thrashy hardcore
 sound of LeATHERMOUTH will influence lero's con-
 tribution to the new MCR album. He's fairly certain it
 won't, but he's not ruling
 anything out
 "That's the thing with My
 Chem, you never say never
 because anything can come
 out.I don't know what will
 "If I kept this inside any longer, I would probably
 explode," he says flatly of the project, which features
 himself on vocals alongside an old Jersey friend, Rob
 Hughes, on guitar
 LeATHERMOUTH inhabits a completely different
 realm to the highly commercial one ruled over by My
 Chemical Romance. Likewise, it's a long way from the
 singer/songwriter folk ballads, electronica dabbling,
 or white boy rap that so often rear their ugly heads
 when members of popular rock bands embark upon
 side-projects. LEATHERMOUTH is all about hard, fast
 LEATHERMOUTH
 and raw punk rock.
 "It's not better than My Chem, it's not worse than
 My Chem, it's just different, and I really feel like I need
 both," lero states. In an effort to soften the blow for
 MCR fans, he stresses that the two bands could not be
 more dissimilar. "Originally I thought maybe l'd keep
 it completely anonymous. I thought if people would
 automatically check this out solely because they like
 ATHEAMAUTH
 Xo
 happen. Maybe we'll throw
 a heavy-ass breakdown on
 the new record? I'd put my
 money on no, but you never
 can tell." B
 XO is out on
 January 24th
 on Epitaph
 through Shock.
demolitonlover:

Blunt Magazine, February 2009 (x x)
Additional record review which was not scanned and received 8 out of 10:When guitarist for New Jersey pretty boys My Chemical Romance, Frank Iero, gets some time away from the band, he likes to relax by getting down in his basement with his other band and screaming till the veins pop out in his forehead. He’s been doing this for the past few years, making recordings with some friends under the banner, LeATHERMOUTH. XO, the full-length debut by the side-project, is brutal hardcore with raw, savage production (it really was recorded in Iero’s basement) and lyrics that are matched for passion and aggression by the guttural delivery. There’s no pop hooks, no emo choruses - nothing to cry over, but plenty to get you fired up. While on one hand it’s sure to attract a lot of curious My Chem fans, mayn of whom are sure to either disappointed or downright frightened, this connection mean it’s also liable to miss its target market slightly due to the fact that regular fans of this type of raging hardcore are sure to be put off by Iero’s day job. Too bad for the snobs who think that way - they’re missing out big time. 

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Saw, Shoes, and Dresses: rrabbed a
 Walking.
 ught so." He der
 mers came in b do
 Patrick Rothfuss
 with buckles. "
 ey're tight e
 Once I knew what was bothering me,
 left. Pear tends to
 ring me, the greater pa
 kne
 left. Fear tends to come from ignorance.
 es." He stripp
 Once I
 The
 it was just a problem, nothing to fear.
 about these?
 illsi
 t quite what5
 ast. Nice
 olof
 As Tve mentioned, Tarbean has two
 Waterside was poor. Hillside was r
 They
 y weve a si
 #xia.le
 main sections:
 Waterside was poor. 1-illside was rich
 Waterside had thieves. HHillside had bankne ill-ai
 then.»
 hoss
 hensively
 I have already told the story of my the fot
 Instea of
 perhaps you will understand why. w
 to part f
 when the cro
 or a moment, I saw what I was
 my heart Po
 yself that I wasn
 I ducked through the nearest door
 I spent a moment reminding 1ys
 urchin who'd been beaten years ago
 like belonged here. But old habits
 ey red
 wond n veneral. Probably a little
 anger. but couldttellifIw
 De ih with you: came a s

 then I pressed my foor to
 good sboe
 a siple brown leallia
 ryself that I wasn't
 to, I was well-dresses
 them. 1
 Pprehensively
 otten how won
 s die
 e slow deaths
 of answering b
 t t was angry at
 g he stood, and starteud seare tnings the
 can tell a lot aboia
 ere
 e of each
 cheexful voice trD
 Lihe from the fro
 s of shelved pairs o
 voie
 ne ct』rtain carry!
 and laungg
 ered up. But
 from a curta
 are the
 e people that bide thingrs
 e they try eo
 to look at ne. "It n
 ng is to lee chem aur
 know about that.
 s. I don't a
 egan to look
 ce again from the
 Cesmiled a
 atest tragec
 at were too co
 y,as if the joke
 n spite of myset
 adn't had shoes
 At least not durin
 Now yor
 for so lons
 eye,s
 were
 d.. ncing.
 Customer or not
 LITing my Ia
 ny teet were
 woul.d ha
 at seen alv they
        

            
            

                
                
                    Saw, Shoes, and Dresses: rrabbed a
 Walking.
 ught so." He der
 mers came in b do
 Patrick Rothfuss
 with buckles. "
 ey're tight e
 Once I knew what was bothering me,
 left. Pear tends to
 ring me, the greater pa
 kne
 left. Fear tends to come from ignorance.
 es." He stripp
 Once I
 The
 it was just a problem, nothing to fear.
 about these?
 illsi
 t quite what5
 ast. Nice
 olof
 As Tve mentioned, Tarbean has two
 Waterside was poor. Hillside was r
 They
 y weve a si
 #xia.le
 main sections:
 Waterside was poor. 1-illside was rich
 Waterside had thieves. HHillside had bankne ill-ai
 then.»
 hoss
 hensively
 I have already told the story of my the fot
 Instea of
 perhaps you will understand why. w
 to part f
 when the cro
 or a moment, I saw what I was
 my heart Po
 yself that I wasn
 I ducked through the nearest door
 I spent a moment reminding 1ys
 urchin who'd been beaten years ago
 like belonged here. But old habits
 ey red
 wond n veneral. Probably a little
 anger. but couldttellifIw
 De ih with you: came a s

 then I pressed my foor to
 good sboe
 a siple brown leallia
 ryself that I wasn't
 to, I was well-dresses
 them. 1
 Pprehensively
 otten how won
 s die
 e slow deaths
 of answering b
 t t was angry at
 g he stood, and starteud seare tnings the
 can tell a lot aboia
 ere
 e of each
 cheexful voice trD
 Lihe from the fro
 s of shelved pairs o
 voie
 ne ct』rtain carry!
 and laungg
 ered up. But
 from a curta
 are the
 e people that bide thingrs
 e they try eo
 to look at ne. "It n
 ng is to lee chem aur
 know about that.
 s. I don't a
 egan to look
 ce again from the
 Cesmiled a
 atest tragec
 at were too co
 y,as if the joke
 n spite of myset
 adn't had shoes
 At least not durin
 Now yor
 for so lons
 eye,s
 were
 d.. ncing.
 Customer or not
 LITing my Ia
 ny teet were
 woul.d ha
 at seen alv they
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…


“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…


“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 

                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Celtic, Grandma, and Queen Elizabeth: siniristiriita
 siniristiriita
 Stuff my chemistry teacher has started telling us about because he got
 distracted
 1. The role of building pyramids on the maintenance of the cultural stability
 of ancient Egypt
 2. The exact way that a molotov cocktail works against a tank
 3. How a number of different modernly extinct or preventable illnesses
 affected European culture at their time (multiple occasions)
 4. The evolutionary explanation as to why middle-european alcohol culture
 differs from eastern-european one
 5. How climate zones work
 6. How the camera was invented
 7. Stories relating to wars fought in Europe between the 15th and 21st
 centuries (multiple occasions)
 8. How allergies are born, and why they happen
 9. Horoscopes and the differences between astrology and astronomy
 10. Astrophysics (multiple occasions)
 11. The arabic alphabet
 12. The invention of milk chocolate
 13. How the man who founded the LIDL supermarket chain used to be his
 grandmother's subtenant
 14. Greek, anglo-saxon and egyptian mythology (multiple occasions)
 15. The multiverse theory, and how technically speaking we might never
 meet aliens because we do not exist to them
 16. How counting with your fingers affects the structure of math
 17. The private lives of the Nobel brothers (multiple occasions)
 18. The inherently catholic roots of the flag of the European Union, and
 general history of catholic iconography
 19. How so many celtic traditions have found their way to Finland
 20. All the places he has seen whale meat
 21. How queen Victoria and queen Elizabeth respectively rose to power
 22. The effects of hallucinogens on ancient religions (multiple occasions)
 23. How women's shorter skirts and men ceasing to spit on floors indoors
 helped to stop the rampant spread of tuberculosis (related to #3 but he
 went on for 30 minutes about this one)
 24. The Westermarck-effect and why it didn't apply to Egyptian pharaohs
 25. The moonshine business his grandma used to run in the 40s
 26. The effects of meat-eating on the human brain
 These are all from four weeks of classes in basic chem, where we are
 supposed to be learning how to read the periodic table and stuff
 81 notes
Chemistry
        

            
            

                
                
                    Celtic, Grandma, and Queen Elizabeth: siniristiriita
 siniristiriita
 Stuff my chemistry teacher has started telling us about because he got
 distracted
 1. The role of building pyramids on the maintenance of the cultural stability
 of ancient Egypt
 2. The exact way that a molotov cocktail works against a tank
 3. How a number of different modernly extinct or preventable illnesses
 affected European culture at their time (multiple occasions)
 4. The evolutionary explanation as to why middle-european alcohol culture
 differs from eastern-european one
 5. How climate zones work
 6. How the camera was invented
 7. Stories relating to wars fought in Europe between the 15th and 21st
 centuries (multiple occasions)
 8. How allergies are born, and why they happen
 9. Horoscopes and the differences between astrology and astronomy
 10. Astrophysics (multiple occasions)
 11. The arabic alphabet
 12. The invention of milk chocolate
 13. How the man who founded the LIDL supermarket chain used to be his
 grandmother's subtenant
 14. Greek, anglo-saxon and egyptian mythology (multiple occasions)
 15. The multiverse theory, and how technically speaking we might never
 meet aliens because we do not exist to them
 16. How counting with your fingers affects the structure of math
 17. The private lives of the Nobel brothers (multiple occasions)
 18. The inherently catholic roots of the flag of the European Union, and
 general history of catholic iconography
 19. How so many celtic traditions have found their way to Finland
 20. All the places he has seen whale meat
 21. How queen Victoria and queen Elizabeth respectively rose to power
 22. The effects of hallucinogens on ancient religions (multiple occasions)
 23. How women's shorter skirts and men ceasing to spit on floors indoors
 helped to stop the rampant spread of tuberculosis (related to #3 but he
 went on for 30 minutes about this one)
 24. The Westermarck-effect and why it didn't apply to Egyptian pharaohs
 25. The moonshine business his grandma used to run in the 40s
 26. The effects of meat-eating on the human brain
 These are all from four weeks of classes in basic chem, where we are
 supposed to be learning how to read the periodic table and stuff
 81 notes
Chemistry
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Chemistry

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Target, Tumblr, and Blog: Bothroom
 Pass
ekisame:

this is the baby leg we use in chem when we need the bathroom

        

            
            

                
                
                    Target, Tumblr, and Blog: Bothroom
 Pass
ekisame:

this is the baby leg we use in chem when we need the bathroom

                    
                
            

            
                
                
ekisame:

this is the baby leg we use in chem when we need the bathroom


                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Tumblr, Blog, and Http: Bothroom
 Pass
ekisame:

this is the baby leg we use in chem when we need the bathroom

        

            
            

                
                
                    Tumblr, Blog, and Http: Bothroom
 Pass
ekisame:

this is the baby leg we use in chem when we need the bathroom

                    
                
            

            
                
                
ekisame:

this is the baby leg we use in chem when we need the bathroom


                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    

    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Bad, Crazy, and Disappointed: Peter
 @okigboHTX
 What my Chem professor emailed us
 after the final
 Absolutely disappointed 'Inbox ☆ Absolutely disappointed olnbox ☆
 to me
 10:31 AM View details
 10:31 AM View details
 Good morning students, I have both good and bad
 Good morning students, I have both good and bad
 news. The good news is that I never have to see any news. The good news is that I never have to see any
 of you imbeciles ever again; the bad news is that
 some of y'alls test grades were garbage. Sam,I told some of yalls test grades were garbage. Sam, I told
 everyone to complete the test in a No. 2 pencil, but
 noooooo, you decided to complete it with a pen.
 Peter, there wasn't a single true/false question on
 the test, so why did you answer one with 'false"?
 What is wrong with you? Vic, with the grade you got,
 I would suggest you put on that apron and get to
 flipping burgers. Lauren, you mustve thought I
 wasn't going to say anything about your grade, but
 of you imbeciles ever again; the bad news is that
 everyone to complete the test in a No. 2 pencil, but
 noooooo, you decided to complete it with a pen
 Peter, here wasn't a single true/false question on
 the test, so why did you answer one with false?
 What is wrong with you? Vic, with the grade you got,
 I would suggest you put on that apron and get to
 flipping burgers. Lauren, you must've thought I
 wasn't going to say anything about your grade, but
This is so crazy I had to show it twice
        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Crazy, and Disappointed: Peter
 @okigboHTX
 What my Chem professor emailed us
 after the final
 Absolutely disappointed 'Inbox ☆ Absolutely disappointed olnbox ☆
 to me
 10:31 AM View details
 10:31 AM View details
 Good morning students, I have both good and bad
 Good morning students, I have both good and bad
 news. The good news is that I never have to see any news. The good news is that I never have to see any
 of you imbeciles ever again; the bad news is that
 some of y'alls test grades were garbage. Sam,I told some of yalls test grades were garbage. Sam, I told
 everyone to complete the test in a No. 2 pencil, but
 noooooo, you decided to complete it with a pen.
 Peter, there wasn't a single true/false question on
 the test, so why did you answer one with 'false"?
 What is wrong with you? Vic, with the grade you got,
 I would suggest you put on that apron and get to
 flipping burgers. Lauren, you mustve thought I
 wasn't going to say anything about your grade, but
 of you imbeciles ever again; the bad news is that
 everyone to complete the test in a No. 2 pencil, but
 noooooo, you decided to complete it with a pen
 Peter, here wasn't a single true/false question on
 the test, so why did you answer one with false?
 What is wrong with you? Vic, with the grade you got,
 I would suggest you put on that apron and get to
 flipping burgers. Lauren, you must've thought I
 wasn't going to say anything about your grade, but
This is so crazy I had to show it twice
                    
                
            

            
                
                
This is so crazy I had to show it twice

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save