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Advice, America, and Bones: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti forced a bot to watch over 1,O00 hours of Hallmark Christmas movies and then asked it to write a Hallmark Christmas movie of its own. Here is the first page. THE CHRISTMAS ON CHRISTMAS INT. SMALL TOWN SNON GLOBE REFILLERY We gee a SINGLE MOTHER refilling snow globes with chriotmas uice. She is widow. Her husband died in every war SINGLE MOTHER I refili globes better than Jesus Claus, yet still my twins are dad- free. Why? They need double dad BUSINESS MAN enter the shop. He wears clothes that cost money. His hands are briefcases, and he Hallmark hot SINGLE MOTHER (CONT D) Hฤฐ. Do your now globes lack wet? Hurry. Christmess attacks soon Business Man has flashback to when he was Business Boy. A Christmas tree explodes his family on purpose. He now hates trees and Christmas and explosions. He exits the flashback BUSINESS MAN Shut your cound! I am from Hugo city. I bought your land and am turning it into an oil resort. SINGLE MOTHER Rude behavior! This is a family buainess. I sell families. I an id y husband is now bones. Single Mother points to her husband's bones in the corner of the room. They are all giftwrapped in eggnog BUSINESS MAN All of my wives are bones! That is America. But I must make money for my twins to live. They are a prince SINGLE MOTHER I too own twins. Please, don't have bought my land. Christmas is today BUSINESS MAN Laugh, I bought Christmas and now it is never. Unless we go on dates SINGLE MOTHER I cannot date because of a snow curse. I pray santa helps ne. Santa cannot help. She did not know but Santa was her husband. Santa is bones. Bones help nobody advice-animal: Christmas Is Bones. Bones donโ€™t give

advice-animal: Christmas Is Bones. Bones donโ€™t give