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Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
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Animals, Apparently, and Ass: captainsnoop i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp like culturally everyone is like "haha pick the pokemon you want! if you're happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!" and then you're supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that's their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you're supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you're like "haha, we'll have a friendly battle!" and you throw out your geodude and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you're a hiker and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey so you're down to your last pokemon. you tell them you're gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like "oh okay in that case i'm gonna pull out my vulpix." like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks? this kid's a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! jumpingjacktrash i mean if you look at how npc's talk about their pokemon, they're service animals mostly some of them are just pets. apparently they really enjoy sparring, so you let them battle other people's pokemon for socialization, it's like going to the dog park. hell yes i'd be mad if i took my chronic pain support chow-chow to the dog park and some asshole with four rottweilers and a husky was like SIC EM THUNDERNUTS even if my dog enjoyed the tussle at first. look, kid, the paras helps me weed the garden it's not a special forces attack paras. it's just a bug that eats dandelions. please calm down maxiesatanofficial This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to the mountains Source: captainsnoop A very long post about Pokémon
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Family, Life, and Thank You: Thank you for making the selfless decision to give life to others. In the midst of your grief, you said yes to saving lives and restoring health to people in need. Families like yours kindness and generosity still exist. give us renewed hope that We would like to share with you some information about the recipients of your son's gift. Daniel's heart was transplanted into a 32-year-old male. Daniel's liver was transplanted into a 54-year-old female from New Jersey. She is married with one child. She was placed on the transplant waiting list in February of 2007. The liver had immediate function and she is expected to have a full recovery. Also a liver segment was transplanted into a 1- year-old boy Daniel's pancreas and left kidney were transplanted into a 36-year-old male. He was placed on the transplant waiting list in November of 2018. The organs had immediate function and he is expected t have a full recovery. Daniel's right kidney was transplanted into a 6-year-old boy. Daniel was also able to be a tissue donor. Donated tissue can dramatically improve the quality of life f those suffering from chronic pain and impaired mobility Please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss. Our hope is that you find some comfort in knowing that these gifts have made an impact on others. Today, people awake to a new day because of caring families like yours. We would like to continue to support you. Enclosed is information about the services we offer On behalf of everyone touched by Daniel's gift, we thank you. Sincerely, Jaime Sullivan Family Services Coordinator Remember to sign up to be a donor

Remember to sign up to be a donor

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Dr. Dre, Tumblr, and Blog: OR. D HE CHRONIC todayinhiphophistory: Today in Hip Hop History: Dr. Dre released his solo debut album The Chronic December 15, 1992

todayinhiphophistory: Today in Hip Hop History: Dr. Dre released his solo debut album The Chronic December 15, 1992

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Clothes, Doctor, and Friends: EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday &Sunday LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Sim Fast DRESS CODE It is advised you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to leam to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise BEREAVEMENT LEAVE There is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late aftermoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category Thank you for your loyaity to our great company We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
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Anal Sex, Dating, and God: theyellowbrickroad Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick??? theyellowbrickroad Ok so picture this l'm 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he's pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in... But something is wrong. He's about to enter.... The. Wrong. Hole And my eyes widen, I go to shout "nooo0!!!!" But it's all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet. We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If l'm in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, "I am going to pass out." He doesn't know I'm serious, he thinks I'm just being emotional, and he's like "no baby come here" but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground. He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I'm dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex “He really thought he sent me to the grave”
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Head, Target, and Tumblr: Cleveland Clinic ICE VS. HEAT WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOUR PAIN? Ice and heat are easy, natural, affordable ways to relieve pain. Ever wonder which one is better for your particular problem? Here is what our experts recommend PROBLEM SOLUTION Worn-away cartlage inARTHRITIS joints (knee, shoulder, elbow, fingers, etc.) Moist heat eases chronically stiff joints, relaxes tight muscles Chronic, inflammatory arthritis (big toe, instep, ankle, heel, knee, wrist, FLARE-UPSbs pain Ice calms flare-ups, GOUT finger, elbow, etc.) Pain from nerves or blood vessels in the head or from muscles in the neck HEADACHEIce numbs throbbing head pain Moist heat relaxes painful neck spasm Pulled muscles or injured tendons in the thigh, back, calf, etc. STRAINSIce eases inflammation (redness,sweling and or tenderness), numbs pain Heat eases stiffness after inflammation resolves Stretching or tearing of ligaments in joints like the knee, ankle, foot, elbow, etc. SPRAINS Ice eases inflammation numbs pain Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves Acute irrtation afterTENDINITISce eases inflammation activity in tendons attached to joints like the shoulder, elbow, knee, wrist, heel, etc. numbs pain ronic iitation and TENDINOSIS stiffness in tendons Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves attached to joints WHY ICE FOR INJURIES WHY HEAT FOR ARTHRITIS & INJURIES6 WEEKS OLD? 6 WEEKS OLD? Ice constricts blood vessels which numbs pain, relieves inflammation and limits bruising Heat increases blood flow which relaxes tight muscles and relieves aching joints. CAUTION Do not use heat for acute injuries. It increases inflammation and can delay healing. Sources: niams.nih.gov/Health-Info/Bursitis/#6 headaches.org/education/Headache_Topic_Sheets/Hot_and_Cold_Packs/Showers 2014 Cleveland Clinic Learn more at: clevelandclinic.org/HealthHub singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least twice a week. So here ya go. This is really great, especially for a klutz like me!

singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least t...

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