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Suicide, Watches, and Roman: Cleopatra watches as her troops are decimated during the Final War of the Roman Republic. She would later commit suicide in Alexandria. (30BC)

Cleopatra watches as her troops are decimated during the Final War of the Roman Republic. She would later commit suicide in Alexandria. (30B...

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Ass, Children, and Jesus: somecunttookmyurl Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more like... 5,000 years. Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931. It's a really long time guys. somecunttookmyurl Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and of "when shit happened if you started at 1AD" because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here's an abridged version. If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then... 300: step pyramid built 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out 950: Egypt re-unified 1350: Middle Kingdom ends 1450: New Kingdom begins 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city 1680: Tutankhamun dies 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the throne 1740: World's first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many children 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again And now we get to the futureIf we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened yet 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state 2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over 2335: Assyrian conquest 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt 2930: Cleopatra VII born 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin. And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates somecunttookmyurl I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.
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