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Clever Puns: Wheneve see people quotingireferencing/parodying My lmmorta s always one of the same four or five nes. You know the ones The iconic opening paragraph, "Hi my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way and have long ebony black hair "WHAT THE HELLARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHER FUKERS! I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT BUT IAM ALSO A SATANIST! "Then he put his thingie into my you-know what and we did or the first And Loopin was masticating to it! As great as those are, l'd like to throw a spotlight on what I think are some of the underappreciated parts of this classic work of fanfiction Ebony puts blood on her Count Chocula cereal instead of milk Enoby is canonically a weeaboo and speaks to her friends in Fangiri Japanese Harry's scar is now a pentagram instead of a lightning bolt, so either he found some sort of spe to alter the appearance of the scar or he actually ook the time to carve a pentagram into his forehead. There is an OC named either Tom Riddle or Tom Rid who works at a "punkgoff store in Hogsmeade and s absolutely nothing to do with Voldemort, he just happens to have the exact same name Tara somehow got Fred and George mixed up with Crabbe and Goyle The reason Snape doesn't like Hamy in this fic is because Snape is Christian and Harry is a Satanis Marty McFly literally appears out of nowhere to help Enoby travel through "tim" with his tim machine. Chapter 11 ends with Hagrid singing along to "a gothic version of a song by 50 Cen Voldemort inexplicably speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe Voldemort wears high heels Draco has a flying black Mercedes Benz and a black MCR broom. Snape has a Dork Mark on his penis Speaking of penises, Draco is apparently hung like a stallone guess Tara is a Rambo fan? The HedwigWoldemort sex scene wherein Hedwig is a male human instead of a female owl, for some reason. Dumbledore flies around on his broomstick while holding a loaf of rye bread. At least, that's wha hink Taran meant by Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread Oh yeah, and Dumbledore is an Avr Lavigne fanboy, because of course he James Potter's goff nickname is Samoro, because Tara erroneously believes this to be the masculine form Draco's singing voice is described as a cross between Gerard, Joel Chester. Pierre and Marilyn Manson Tara's brief feud with her editor Raven as chronicled in the author's notes, may or may not have had something to do with Raven borrowing Tara's sweater and not giving it back. IDK, its unclear Voldemort smokes a "gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar. McGonagall has the best insults. like Thorny simpletons" and "mediocre dunces" and probably some others m forgetting Dobby only appears once in the entire fic and literally a he does is watch Snape and Lupin have sex, and then run away crying Sirius is referred to as Harry's dogfather, and not gonna lie, even was a typo think that is a genuinely clever pun The Hogwarts janitor may or may not be Chuck Norris Tara accurately predicted how Hamy would defeat Voldemort in Deathly Hallows. No, really "nd den hairy v have 2 mit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111" This line: "Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly And this one: "Crosio!' I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room 8cremling Azerbaijan Hoes of Wax "Tom Bombod Cornelio Fuck Professor Slutborn Preacher McGongol "Lumpkin TaEbory" "The Bark Lord Vademort This is truly the classic of PIC.OOLLIAGE students to explicate this for AP tests
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